MIKE NEWTON, THE KING OF EMBARRASSMENT

All rights go to Stephenie Meyer ©

Name of chapter: Eternal Humiliation

Rating: K

Summary: Mike's trying to having a normal day. But the Fates won't allow that to happen so easily, and Mike ends up having a bad day with his least favourite teacher, Mr. Banner.

-8-8-

He that rises late must trot all day.
-Benjamin Franklin

-8-8-

Character Point of View: Mike Newton

Settings: Forks High School

Time: Two weeks later.

I was driving my SUV to the school. As I drove, my mind went back to two weeks ago.

After I had returned home from school on that fateful day, it turned out that Mr. Greene had telephoned my mother. Great.

"Mike!" Mom screeched when I entered the living room.

"Mom-" I stuttered to a halt at Mom's ferocious glare.

Before I could complete my sentence, she started yelling at me. "What have you done? Do you know how much shame I'll have to go through after this news goes around this dratted town?"

"Mom, no one saw this incident-" I started, but she held up her hand.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Michael Newton!" she shrieked. "I saw that…that happen on one of the security cameras! It was the worst thing I have ever seen! Mrs. Stanley called me right now and she thinks you're a bad influence for Jessica!"

A strand of her blond hair had fallen from her elegantly-done bun and was hanging over her eyes, giving her a crazed look. I didn't like it.

I made to move towards the stairs, just when the phone rang, saving me from my impending doom.

Mom took it, her face slightly calmer. "Hello? Oh, it's you, John...yes…no, not that…he's just returned from school…yeah, that really happened...Well, come right away…you need to give your son a good talking to about behaving in school...of course...no, the principal really did call...well, I'm not lying! Just come home, and I'll explain." She slammed the phone down on the table.

She turned to me. "Your father thinks it would be better to ground you for two months." My eyes bulged. What would Tyler and Eric think?

"You are not to touch the Playstation or X-Box during those two months," she continued. "Your father and I think that you need to spend more time on your studies and less on unnecessary brain-cell-killing games."

Crap.

I sighed. That wasn't the worst part. The next day, I found out that Tyler had videotaped my humiliation and had posted it on YouTube. He had informed me that his video got at least 1,375 views and 78 comments. Cool friend, isn't he? Not.

I stopped the car in the parking lot and I glanced at my watch. It was seven thirty. Good. I was early. The Cullen car was already there and the parking lot was full. My car was the last one there. Maybe the whole school turned up early like me too.

I ran up the stairs and to the hall where my locker was. I saw that the hall was empty and I frowned.

Where were the other people? Maybe they were playing an elaborate prank on me. I scowled heavily and I stuck out my chest as I vowed not to fall for their stupid prank. I had had enough humiliation and I wasn't going to allow myself to be humiliated again. I grabbed my books and walked to my Biology class. On the way, I started thinking of what to do in the class. Maybe one of the Cullen girls would be in Biology. I visualized myself strutting down the aisle in the room as all the girls drooled over me and stared at me adoringly. Alice Cullen would squeal to Rosalie Hale about how sexy I was. Rosalie would agree with her, and get up from her table. She would then move towards me, and declare her undying love for me, and then exclaim over the awesomeness of my hair. After that, she would lean forward to give a mountain-breaking kiss...

BAM!

I staggered back when I was awakened rather rudely from my sweet dream. In front of me, the Biology class door stood, tall and imposing. I stared at it for more than one minute as I tried to figure out what happened. I realized I had been daydreaming while I walking to class, and thus banged into the door. Great. I had just made a total retard of myself as usual.

Just then, I noticed that the door was locked. Weird. Mr. Banner usually closed the door after classes started. Maybe this was the prank and Mr. Banner was in the secret. I banged on the door loudly, and waited, smirking to myself.

The door opened and Mr. Banner peeked out, a confused look on his face. Anger clouded his features when he noticed me standing there.

"Mr. Newton," he acknowledged me icily. I gave him an arrogant smile. I mean, I thought he was playing the prank on me, so I decided to play along too. Don't blame me for acting like a mentally-challenged guy then.

"Bip-bip-bop-bop-pop-up-upsy-dupsy-upsy-dupsayyyyy!" I sang in a girlish voice."Hell-zero-blake-beep-beep-bo-bop-rock-toot-toot-poo-lung-lung-squeee!"

Mr. Banner's eyes bulged and they looked to be on the verge of falling out. His mouth was hanging open, giving me a clear shot of his molars. I snickered inwardly, and wished that I had my camera with me.

"Mr. Newton?" my Biology teacher started worriedly. "Are you sure you are okay?"

I smiled confidently. "Why- of course, I am!"

Anger clouded his features again and he opened the door wide.

"In!" He snarled at me.

I smiled confidently, and strode in. I froze at the sight in front of me.

The entire room was full of students. The Cullens were in their places and so were my friends, Tyler and Eric. Jessica and Lauren were also there. The former was the only person in the room whose eyes weren't trained on my face. I bit my lip in annoyance. Jessica was mad at me for giving her the Association with Embarrassment badge unofficially, two weeks ago. Even when I tried to apologize to her, she wouldn't forgive me. I then gave up eventually.

The biology textbooks were open on all the tables, and it looked like everyone was writing notes. I glanced at the nearest guy's notebook surreptitiously. I realized that they all had finished the entire chapter.

I felt someone approach from behind me, and I turned around. Mr. Banner was waiting in front of me, his arms folded. He was glaring at me coldly.

"What?" I said rudely, before I was able to stop myself.

He glared at me again. "Do you know the time, Mr. Newton?"

I checked my watch. It was still seven-thirty. "Um...it's seven-thirty A.M."

The entire class started howling with laughter. I looked at them in confusion, and turned back to Mr. Banner, who had a faint smile on his face. Great. Now everyone was laughing at me, including the Cullens. But what was wrong?

"Mr. Banner…what's wrong?" I asked the teacher. Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes and I swallowed. Instead of going away, the sadness and tears only increased. Stupid feelings.

Mr. Banner stopped laughing and he looked at me with pity. "Mr. Newton, your watch is two hours slow. Class started one hour ago."

A tear finally broke free and rolled down my cheek. Mr. Banner sighed wearily.

"Well, Mr. Newton, you can go now," he said and checked his watch. "The bell will ring within five minutes."

He turned to the class. "Well, there's no point in continuing. Pack up. Don't forget to do the homework and submit it tomorrow."

The class started packing up their books just when the bell rang and they exited the room quickly. I made to follow them, but Mr. Banner stopped me.

"I think we need to have a talk."

I swallowed nervously and wiped off the tear on my cheek. "Sure."

Mr. Banner closed the door and walked to his desk. He sat down on the chair. "Mr. Newton, please make sure that you check your watch every day and have it repaired immediately. I cannot have my students arriving in class late all the time. Detention for you, I'm afraid."

"But I have volleyball practice!" I protested. "Coach Clapp said I can't miss it!"

Mr. Banner shrugged. "I'm sorry. But rules are rules."

And with that, he got off the table and exited the room. My shoulders sagged and I groaned.

-8-8-

I was walking to my next class when Tyler and his gang passed me.

"Hey, cry-baby!" Austin yelled at me. I ignored him.

"Oh, where's my milk? I want my mommy!" Another guy cried out, imitating my voice while the other person did a bad impression of a screaming baby. Instead, he looked like he was having a seizure.

"Your mom's so fat that when she farted in a restaurant it took one month to clear the stench!" I yelled back, unable to stop the words. Oops. Wrong move.

Tyler and others started screaming with laughter.

"Your mommy's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!" Tyler yelled back.

How dare he do that? "Your mommy's so ugly she made an onion cry!" I shouted.

"Your mom is so ugly that when she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out!" Austin shot at me.

"Your mommy's so stupid that when she saw a "Wet Floor" sign, she wet herself there," Tom said like a total retardo.

I had to bite my tongue to stop laughing at him and I racked my brains for another Mommy joke. I remember reading a website about that type of joke...

"Your mom is so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost," I said quickly.

"Uh-oh," someone from the crowd muttered. "This is getting ugly. Soon this'll be a "Your mom match" all around. We'd better go before the principal comes here."

"No," another argued. "I want to see who wins. Thirteen bucks on Crowley and his pals."

"Twenty bucks on Newton," the other guy said.

"Your mom is totally hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on," Tyler yelled back.

I cringed. "Uh…your mom's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her!"

Tyler smirked. "At least my mom ain't fat. Yours' is!"

His friends all started laughing.

"Your momma's so stupid; she stopped at a 'Stop' sign and waited for it to say 'Go'." He threw that one at me.

But now I was out of momma jokes.

"I give up," I mumbled before walking away.

Before I was out of the hall, I heard someone say: "Pay up."

Urgh. This was the third embarrassing event this month.

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