MIKE NEWTON, THE KING OF EMBARRASSMENT
All rights go to Stephenie Meyer ©
Name of chapter:The Newton Exhibition
Rating:K
Summary:A small step can lead to big consequences. Mike Newton proves this fact to be true.
-8-8-
The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else, was to be indifferent to that difference.
Al Capp
-8-8-
Character Point of View:Edward Cullen
Setting:Biology classroom
Mr. Banner was teaching us things which I had already learnt about years ago. I sighed faintly. Just then I heard the Newton boy's thoughts. He was here.
Edward!Alice's inner voice rang with excitement. I had a vision, and it shows Mike getting embarrassed again!
I smiled faintly at the vision she was shoving at me and glanced at her behind me. She giggled and nodded.
Just then, I heard a crashing noise at the door, which startled Mr. Banner. The teacher rushed to the door and opened it, when I caught Mike's thoughts. Oh, how stupider could he get? The boy actually thought Mr. Banner was playing a joke on him. I shook my head.
That's when I heard Newton babbling off some nonsense, which made him sound like a mental patient. Emmett laughed loudly. Mr. Banner asked Newton if he was okay to which Newton replied that he was.
Growling internally, Mr. Banner shoved Mike Newton into the classroom, and slammed the door behind him. The teacher's thought were exploding with anger and was so loud that it nearly gave me a migraine. I winced slightly, just when others' thoughts became clearer to me.
Oh my god. Mike's in hot water again, isn't he?
Too bad I don't have my camera with me. I could have shown it to Tyler and had a good laugh with him. Why do schools these days ban cellphones and cameras? What, are we going to hit the teachers on the head with them?
Mike Newton's late for his class, and yet he told me that he never misses class. Liar. I'm so not inviting him to my party next week.
Whoah, what a dumb squirt he is. I feel sorry for him.
Oh, yeah! Another thing to gossip about!
Poor Jessica! And to think she had a crush on that idiot.
Emmett's were worse.
Whoa! Mike Newton…that boy's some serious joke! Wonder if he'll mind being pranked? I'm sure Esme won't mind, I'm her favorite boy…
I rolled my eyes. Emmett could be very childish and immature at times. I glanced at Jessica to see what her reaction was. She was looking at everything but Newton and I checked her thoughts which weren't pleasant at all.
Oh, fuck. HowdareMike do this to me? Maybe I should just dump him, and go out with Edward or one of the Hot Boys…that would be a nice juicy revenge on the Weird Girls.
I snickered. Hot Boys? Weird Girls? I made a note to tell my siblings about the nicknames at lunch break. And besides what had Rose and Alice ever done to the dim-witted Stanley girl? Personally, I think Jessica and Mike were suited for each other.
I heard what was going on. Mr. Banner was asking Mike what the time was, and Newton replied with a, "Um. It's seven-thirty A.M."
The entire class went into fits of laughter, including Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Emmett. That boy was several times stupider than Crowley or Stanley. At least Jessica had the tendency to check her watch and make sure it was working every month.
Mr. Banner's thoughts pierced my brain and I was forced to drown in their furious depth.
Is that boy really this brainless? I should have said no to Mr. Greene when I had the chance…
"Mr. Banner…what's wrong?" The boy continued, without any knowledge of what his furious teacher was thinking. No…I mustn't cry…
"Jasper, here's your chance," I muttered almost inaudibly. My brother didn't say anything, but I felt something of hurt and misery when the waves of emotions passed me, and on to Newton. He continued to send wave after wave.
Thank god…I was beginning to worry whether you were a Mr-I-Don't-Like-or-Do-Pranks-or-Jokes-and-I-only-behave-and-am-only-well-mannered-and-I-am-my-mama's-little-boy.Emmett's thoughts were teasing me, as usual.
Whee…this is going to be so interesting! Alice's thoughts were chipper. I hope he doesn't forget to do that as well...
This is really fun…I've never manipulated someone else's feelings for a naughty purpose…Jasper's thoughts had an edge of playfulness to it. I guess now's my chance.
I was pulled back to Earth when Mr. Banner said with pity, "Mr. Newton, your watch is two hours slow. Class started one hour ago."
A tear rolled down Newton's cheek and Mr. Banner sighed, his thoughts wondering what on earth he had done to make him have to deal with a emotional boy.
"Well, Mr. Newton, you can go now," He checked his watch. "The bell will ring within five minutes."
He turned to the class. "Well, there's no point in continuing. Pack up. Don't forget to do the homework and submit it tomorrow."
His thoughts were a whirlwind of incoherent words unlike his calm exterior. We started packing our books up. Emmett's thoughts were abuzz, as he planned to get revenge on Mike for thinking that Rosalie was his wife-to-be. The bell rang and we got out of the class quickly. There was no point in lagging behind unless you wanted to be asked out by Eric Yorkie or Tyler Crowley.
"Man, that was wonderful! Absolutely magnificent," he imitated a foreign director. "It was…what do you Americans call it…superb, no?"
"Hey, guys!" Alice chirped as she tried to keep up with us. "Why don't we play a prank on Mike?"
"I'm not in," Rosalie was staring at her well manicured nails.
"I'm outta that," Emmett's thoughts were disappointed as he had hoped Rosalie would be in so that he could plan his revenge on Newton.
"I'm in," Jasper said quickly. He didn't want to prank anyone and was trying to find a way out of this. Alice saw that immediately and slapped his head.
"No, Jasper!" She pouted and put on her best puppy-dog eyes. "Pleeease, Jazz?"
She glanced at me hopefully.
"No," I said.
"Fine!" She sighed in frustration." But can we prank Newton when he really needs it?"
"Whatever," I said, annoyed. "I don't care."
-8-8-
Settings:Cafeteria
We were in the cafeteria, when Mike Newton entered it. His thoughts were about something about "your mom" jokes…and he'd lost. Alice giggled when he entered. I glanced at her and she smirked at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Hey, Edward," she said, grinning like a fox. "How about you take a little walk in Mike's mind, huh?"
"No."
"Come on. Just this time."
"I will not repeat this again. I said no."
"Please," Alice begged. "Just tell us."
"Fine," I relented. "He's thinking about himself as usual. As a matter of fact, he thinks about himself all the time."
Jasper snickered at some unsaid joke. I glared at him.
"What?"
"Well," said Jasper, smiling. "It looks like Mike is his own fan."
"Who's the second fan?" asked Alice.
"I think it is Jessica," I stated. "She fawns over him all the time."
"So," said Rosalie. "Does that mean Mike is his own number-one fan, and Jessica is the second?"
Alice and Jasper went into howls of laughter at her joke.
"Whoa! Mike Newton is his own number-one fan!" Emmett yelled, before breaking into laughter. Jasper and Alice were reduced to giggles now, but unfortunately for Mike, everyone in the cafeteria had heard him.
Mike was now beef-red in the face. Jessica was laughing loudly with her friends, and her thoughts were mocking and unpleasant. I couldn't push them away as they were too loud. I cringed. Who knew that humans could be so petty and mean?
"Edward, did you tell us about the Hot Boys and Weird Girls?" asked Alice.
"Oh, right that," I said. "Jessica saw us in the parking lot on our first day. Since she didn't know our names, she just gave the nicknames 'Hot Boys' and 'Weird Girls'."
"Hot Boys?" said Emmett, looking smug. "That's cool. The Hot Boys –Emmett, Jasper and Edward! Hear us roar!" He flexed his biceps.
"Emmett, I think you'd better stop doing that," I said, rolling my eyes. "We don't want the human girls to go into cardiac arrest when they see your oh-so-amazing muscles."
"Weird Girls?" said Rosalie, wrinkling her nose. "What made her give that ridiculous name?"
"I think it's because she thought the girls were weird," commented Jasper.
"Are you calling me 'weird'?" piped up Alice, shooting a mock-hurt face at Jasper. "Oh, Jazz. You hurt my feelings."
"No, no, no," said Jasper, looking horrified at the very prospect of calling his beloved 'weird'. "I didn't mean it like that."
Alice smiled at him. "I know you didn't."
-8-8-
Character Point of View:Angela Weber
I was laughing because it was too funny. Laughing because Emmett Cullen had just announced that Mike Newton was his own fan.
I slapped the table in front of me. The hysterical giggles wouldn't stop. Finally when I stopped, I glanced at Mike. He was sitting alone, and the boys were sitting far away from him. They wouldn't talk to him. I felt bad that I had been making fun of him too. I made to get up from the table, and to walk to him, but someone else pulled me back into my seat.
"What?" I whispered.
"Ang, don't even think about it," Samantha whispered back. "He deserves it. He's been full of himself too much."
I nodded my head, but I still felt sorry for him. I took a deep breath and opened my milk carton. Samantha nodded approvingly.
-8-8-
Character Point of View:Mike Newton
What the hell did I do to deserve this?
A small nagging voice at the back of my mind said: You've been too stupid. You've been so blind and foolish. You rejected Jessica when she wanted you, and now she won't come to you. You deserve it. Deal with it.The mean voice faded away.
I snorted. I didn't believe him. The voice was a liar. I checked my tray, which was full. I had not eaten my lunch.
Finally, I decided to not to eat it, and throw it away in the trash. Besides, it didn't taste appetizing anyway. I mean, the curries tasted totally bland! Seriously, couldn't the government pay more attention to the food sold in school cafeterias? We could die of food poisoning from the total crap of 'food' sold here.
-8-8-
Character Point of View:Tyler Crowley
Austin was telling us about some stupid prank his younger brother had played on his parents. Damn, I was bored. I turned around, and spotted Mike getting up. I grinned.
Now would be the perfect time to show him some brotherly love. I mean, we're friends, right? Friends do this all the time, don't they? I grabbed the lone banana sitting on my tray, and carefully peeled out the skin. With perfect strategy, I aimed the banana peel at the floor where Mike was gonna step on, and waited with bated breath.
-8-8-
Character Point of View:Mike Newton
Holding my tray in one hand, I got up slowly and looked at Tyler, who was sitting with his cronies. Pfft. What a total noob. He was staring at me like a greedy five year old waiting for his mom to give him a candy bar. In other words, he was looking at me eagerly, like he was waiting for something to happen.
I stuck out my chin and walked forward. Suddenly, my legs came out from beneath me. The lunch tray flew up from my hand into the air, and I fell down on my bottom on the linoleum. Tyler giggled like a little girl. I looked up in horror, and saw the full lunch tray coming at me.
-8-8-
Character Point of View:Tyler Crowley
Yeah! My idea had worked! I looked at Mike again.
The poor sod was covered in all sorts of food. I could make out a slice of pizza sitting on his head, a cup of curry dumped on his shoulder, and a few spoonfuls of salad on his nose. A puddle of milk was gathering around him, and it made his pants wet. I bet he would have a lovely smell at the end of the day. We definitely should make a perfume from that smell. How about naming the perfume Eau de Honte?
I realized no one was talking anymore. The cafeteria was silent. A moment passed. That's when the entire room exploded into gales of mirth and amusement. Mike tried to get up, but he slipped on the puddle of milk, and crashed back to the floor.
The Cullens were grinning, and my friends were all hooting really loudly, that it hurt my ears. Even the lunch lady was also laughing. Mike looked furious. He grabbed the pizza slice from its sorry position on his head, and lobbed it at me. I was a second late in moving out of the way, and the pizza slice landed on my forehead with a sickly 'thump'.
Growling, I peeled off the slice and chucked it on the table. Lee winced when the slice landed a tad too close to his food. Just then, the door opened and the ultra-cool guys walked in. Oh, man.
The guys froze when they saw the lovely scenario in front of them. I could imagine what they were thinking. The door opened, and someone entered the room.
"Move it," he growled at a senior. I realized the person to be Mr. Banner. Whoa, Mike was in realtrouble this time.
Mr. Banner came forward and almost slipped on the milk-soaked floor. He let out a roar of fright, and grabbed on the neck of some unfortunate senior. The senior's eyes bulged when Mr. Banner's hand increased its grip on his neck, as the teacher regained his footing. When Mr. Banner let go of the senior's neck, the poor guy rubbed his sore neck.
"What is the meaning of this, Mike Newton?" Mr. Banner boomed.
Mike simply stared dumbly at the teacher. This only made Mr. Banner more furious, and he swelled like a frog.
"Mr. Newton!" he raged. "What do you think you're doing, sitting there? This is the lunch room, not your local food exhibition!"
Mike shook his head at him, but said nothing.
"NEWTON!" he roared. "GET UP FROM THERE AND FOLLOW ME!"
Finally, Mike got up and followed the teacher. I noticed that Mike was walking gingerly, like he was trying not to slip again.
-8-8-
Character Point of View:Mike Newton
Mr. Banner took me to the principal. Great. How about I just make his office my personal home? I lost count of the number of times I had been sent to the principal's room this year.
"Mike?" Mr. Greene was startled, as he took in my appearance. I was sure I looked very delicious to him in a food-ish way. Mr. Banner explained the situation before leaving me alone in the lion's den.
"Sit," Mr. Greene said sternly.
I sat down on the same chair I had sat on last time I was here. I saw Mr. Greene cringe when a piece of fruit slid off me and on the leather exterior of the seat.
"This is the fifth complaint I have received about you this week," he stated. I could do nothing but stare.
He sighed. "I can see that this will take a long time."