Disclaimer: They don't let people with weaponry and narcotic substances create video game characters.
Rebuilding
Chapter 5: FITE FITE FITE!
The standoff in front of the Mansion was slowly escalating into a Brawl. This astonished the Smashers, as they had previously only been involved in a Melee. Mario, Link, Pikachu, Kirby, Fox, and Samus were all showing signs of surprise.
"Wow," said the aforementioned six blandly.
While they were, ahem, 'surprised', Wario ambled slowly towards the door. Pit, who was the only confirmed Smasher who hadn't been around before, nudged Link in the ribs, as Link was nearest.
Link dropped his barbecued ribs in surprise. "What?"
Pit pointed at Wario, muttered "Here," and thrust a Smash Ball into Link's hands. Link understood, and sliced the ball in half with his sword, then continued hacking, destroying the ball.
Pit smacked his face, and then handed a second Smash Ball to Link.
Link waited for a little while, and the mystical power in the Smash Ball took over him. The Triforce on his hand vibrated dangerously.
"When did I get that tattoo?" asked Link. "I only remember the one I got of Zelda on my ass."
All the male Smashers whooped frat-style, except Samus, who sighed exasperatedly, and muttered "Men..."
Just then, a beam of light shot out from Link's hand, and soared straight towards Wario, who was nearly at the door.
"What in the name of-"began Wario, being trapped by large Triforce shapes.
Link tilted his head quizzically, but as he felt a surge in the back of his legs, suddenly found himself running towards Wario with the Master Sword drawn.
Wario cried out in fear, as Link slashed at him at extremely high speeds.
"Is that what the Smash Balls do?" asked Pikachu, in awe. Mario and Pit slowly nodded. Even Samus showed slight interest.
Link held his sword up high, and felt the Smash Ball talk through him, "Say your final words, fat man,"
Wario stuttered, "Y-you wouldn't kill another person..."
"Your life has come to an end," hissed Link's Smash Ball state, as he swung the sword with such force and precision that it actually sent Wario flying into the air.
"Why-a didn't that-a happen with me-a?" asked Mario quizzically.
Wario landed, groaning, at the feet of one yellow Pokemon.
"Smash Balls are cool," grinned Pikachu coldly.
"Do it-a," grinned Mario sadistically, glaring down at Wario's whimpering form.
Pikachu broke open the Smash Ball, and immediately, gave off a glow.
"Nothing's happening!" said Kirby. "Maybe not everyone has a Final Smash!"
"Whoa-a!" yelled Mario, backing away, as he saw Pikachu suddenly burst into a giant blue ball of electricity.
"It's Volt Tackle!" cried the male realtor.
Fox gave a high-pitched scream and ran.
"Bwahahahaha!" cried Pikachu evilly. "Now bow down to me, and the power of Volt Tackle! Hunt them down!"
"Wait..." muttered the ones who had been in Achievement Unlocked..."wasn't some dark force making us evil a few months ago?"
"Yes," said the female realtor sadly. "That was our fault. The energy from our Smash Balls was creating some evil purple cloud, and I guess it drifted to the original Mansion..."
"So it was your fault!" pouted Fox.
"Yes, not even the Cove-" began the male realtor, when they were interrupted by Pikachu hurtling towards Fox and Kirby. The two Smashers jumped deftly out of the way, as the Volt Tackling Evil Pikachu smashed straight into the wall, losing his powers.
"Oww..." groaned Pikachu.
It was then where everyone noticed that Wario had snuck over and filled in an application for Brawl.
"HA!" laughed Wario triumphantly. "My name is Wario T. Quario, I'm 37 years old, and I recruited an Inuyasha cult eight years ago! I am a proud Private First Class Terrorist! Kneel!"
"Well, I guess he's in," said the female realtor.
Wario punched the air triumphantly.
"Now see here, Wario!" said Fox indignantly, "I've got something to say about your ways!"
Wario smacked Fox's toe with his head.
"EEYEAH!" screamed Wario fatally, scratching his ass. "All glory to the terrorists! JIHAD!"
"'kay," said Kirby. Wario bit him.
"That doesn't look like the Wario you showed us in the pictures..." said Samus, holding a picture of Wario wearing his traditional yellow and purple outfit.
"It's-a him, just in his WarioWare clothes-a," replied Mario.
"THE DENIM OF EVIL!" laughed Wario madly.
Nobody was interested.
"Hey, Fox?" asked Pit. "What's that thing dangling from your waist?"
Fox blankly stared for a few seconds, before replying; "That is my penis. Dumbass."
"No, the side of your waist," retorted Pit. "What IS that?"
"OH GOD!" cried Fox, trying to remedy himself.
"It's not-..it's some metallic thing," said Pit hurriedly.
"APEROIDS ARE INFECTING IT!" cried Fox, karate-chopping himself in the crotch.
"It's his reflector..." sighed Samus passively, taking her armor off to use her Plasma Blaster. She shot Fox with it, and instinctively, the latter pulled up a blueish shield to deflect the plasma.
"Sweet, I wish I had one!" smiled Link.
Mario speechlessly pointed to the Hylian Shield.
"Oh, yeah, right..." muttered Link sheepishly.
Fox dived to one side, and pulled out his Blaster, aiming directly at Samus.
"Taste the fury!" cried Fox insanely, rapidly firing.
"Who wants to remind him these can't stun?" asked Samus coldly.
"LET THIS BE THE FINAL BATT-UHL!" cried Fox.
Kirby pinched the bridge of his non-existent nose in frustration. "Oh no..."
Fox tapped into his comlink and requested, "Peppy! I need the Pleiades! STAT!"
Moments later, the spaceship appeared a few feet from where everyone was standing.
Fox ran onto the Pleiades, cackling maniacally. Kirby and Wario gave chase.
"Star Fox team, all Arwings to co-ordinates alpha gamma niner!" cried Fox.
Slippy and Krystal appeared with Arwings, firing randomly everywhere.
"Let's see how you like this!" cried Slippy, throwing a FREAKING ASTEROID out of the window of the Arwing.
"Agh! What the hell!" cried Kirby, as the asteroid narrowly missed him.
Shots that were literally out of nowhere set Krystal's Arwing alight.
"Fox! I'm going down!" cried Krystal frantically.
Krystal hurtled towards Samus, who jumped out of the way, landing near the Pleiades. With the weight of a huge Chozo suit, the ship rocked violently. Wario, Fox, and Kirby struggled to keep their balance. Eventually, Link, Meta-Knight, and Pit joined in, and the six Smashers and Meta-Knight fought bitterly for 5 seconds.
Slippy and Krystal flew off, observing their job as done, and the Pleiades landed again, having never left the ground.
"What the hell was that whole shenanigan anyway?" asked Pikachu.
"I feel regular now," smiled Fox.
Well, see now, this chapter was made in a log cabin over 753 years ago. Then I stole it. REVIEW!1