Disclaimer: RIDE YA PONY GET ON YA PONY AND RIDE
Rebuilding
Chapter 7: Hiatuses Still Suck
"Well, if you're all going to find your friends...I guess this is goodbye..." sighed the male realtor sadly.
"Guess so..." the Smashers collectively mumbled.
"By the way, before we go..." began the male realtor, but Link interrupted by "accidentally" kicking him in the face with a rubber chicken.
"STRUHSIHTTIMMADWWWWOANATROCSEHSDNAFEIHCRETSAMMIWWWWWOOOOO!" screamed the male realtor.
"Was that a sublimin-" began Pikachu, but everyone else had already began leaving. "Hey, wait!"
"We all ready-a?" asked Mario.
"Ready!" said Link.
"Over here!" grinned Pit eagerly.
"Additional agreeing statement!" screamed Fox.
"Yeah," sighed Samus.
"Ayup," contributed Kirby.
"I think...so..." said Wario uncertainly.
"Kill 'em all!" spat Zelda.
"I'm here..." panted Pikachu, running up.
"Let's rock!" cried Samurai Goroh.
"Who the hell are you?" asked Link.
"Ever heard of Captain Falcon?" shot Goroh bitterly.
"Yes..." said Samus through gritted teeth.
"I'm his roommate, but he went to some Super Smash Brother thing nine years ago, and I haven't seen or heard from him since!" pouted Goroh. "So I want some damn rent money!"
Goroh furiously slashed his katana around, severing Fox's fur.
Fox threw a lit match on Samurai Goroh, killing him. Goroh, I mean.
"What the hell?" asked Kirby.
"That was an Assist Trophy," replied the male realtor, speaking through Samus, "We snuck a supply into various parts of the universe as you search for your friends,"
"Yes, and we will aid you through the technology of Samus' suit," sounded the female realtor's voice. "We recruited an army of unimportant characters to fight your battles alongside you!"
"Like this one?" asked Kirby, finding one on the ground and holding it up high.
Everyone marvelled at the Assist Trophy in Kirby's stubby hand.
Suddenly, a Hammer Bro burst forth, and looked around at everyone.
"Wow, a Hammer Bro-a?" gasped Mario.
Wario ran away screaming something about a jihad.
"That thing looks like a little queer," noticed Fox.
"Are those your only insults?" asked Pikachu conversationally.
"Yes," replied Fox. The Hammer Bro threw a hammer at him.
"ALL n00bs BE TERMINATED BY L33T HAMMER BROZ" buzzed the Hammer Bro before vanishing.
"Weird," chuckled Pit.
"Here's another!" said Link, releasing another one.
A Nintendog appeared and proceeded to eat Link's face.
Link's shredded up remains fell to the ground, as the body ran around, making a deafening squeal of pain and misery.
"Cool beans!" smiled Pit cornily.
Samus' suit made a whirring noise, and the male voice began again;
"There is somebody who wishes to talk to you!" announced the male voice.
Beeps. And clicks. All the Smashers waited with bated breath, but Mario thought he could sense what was coming next...
"I am the first to the Mansion! Bow before King Bowser Koopa, leader of the Mushroom Kingdom, and the first Smasher of Super Smash Brothers Brawl!" yelled Bowser's voice from Samus' suit.
"Bowser-a?" asked Mario, with an odd feeling of relief to hear his worst enemy alive and well.
"Yes, that's right, and I-MARIO?!" asked Bowser incredulously through Samus.
"Bowser, listen to me!" said Link urgently. "We're a few blocks away, we're trying to save all of the Smashers who were in the second Mansion when it separated, and do you know anything?"
Silence.
"Not all of us left..." said Bowser.
"What?" asked Kirby, amazed.
"I was too heavy, all I did was lose one of my collars," replied Bowser's voice. "Then I saw some short dude dragging Ness and Marth's bodies away, so they must have been blown somewhere close."
"Short dude?" asked Pikachu.
"Then I followed him, and this blue chick came, recognised my stunning good lucks, and told me I was a Smasher!" continued Bowser. "But I already knew that, then some guy in a green suit told me to contact 555-VARIA, and it turned out to be the number of that bimbo, didn't it?"
Samus punched herself in the stomach.
"OW!" grunted Bowser. "My ear! Just let me get over there!"
Everyone waited.
Wondering.
"Who was that?" asked Pit.
"Bowser, he's really big, and really heavy. He's also kind of stupid," replied Fox, as the Koopa Klown Kar crushed him, and Bowser stepped out.
"B-Bowser, I see you're still menacing," said Pikachu nervously.
"Believe it, kid," snorted Bowser.
Bowser picked up something round from the item bag the Smashers had been given, and tossed it up and down as he spoke.
"So, I suppose Ness and Marth are dead by now," said Bowser.
"Bowser, sir?" asked Pit timidly.
"Who the hell are you?" thundered Bowser.
"Pit, from Kid Icarus?" said Pit.
"Pfft, angels," snorted Bowser.
"Anyway, I don't think you should throw that thing..." faltered Pit feebly.
The Smash Ball (!) broke in Bowser's hand, and Bowser underwent a horrible transformation. Wario convulsively grabbed Bowser's wrist in an attempt to wrench his growing figure down to the ground, but it was no use. Bowser continued to grow, adding spikes, his shell turning from green to a teal-like colour, until Giga Bowser stood before everyone.
"Shit..." muttered Fox still dazed from the impact of Bowser's car.
"RUN FOR IT-A!" bellowed Mario, turning tail and running.
"Cowards!" goaded Zelda, standing her ground and taking point. "He doesn't look that strong! I'll murder him for you!"
"Princess, over here," said Samus, frustrated, pulling Zelda away by the wrist, the latter of whom was shouting threats at the roaring Giga Bowser.
"No!" cried Zelda, flailing her leg about and kicking Giga Bowser squarely in the nose, as Giga Bowser lowered its head to charge.
Pit flew up to Giga Bowser's back, and frantically shot several arrows at the back of Giga Bowser's neck, but to no avail.
"It's no use, angel kid!" grunted Samus, trying to pull Zelda away. "He can't feel anything! Just run!"
Pit looked at a loss for words.
"...What did I join?" Pit asked himself.
Mario and Wario were fleeing ahead of the group, as Giga Bowser tried to smell everyone out.
Mario abruptly turned around, and forced his hand outwards, performing a quick forward Smash Attack.
"What are you doing?" asked Wario. "You stupid infidel, that'll never damage him!"
Mario ignored him. "Assistance-a!"
Link, who was next to approach Mario, understood and drew his Master Sword.
"Do you think this will stop him?" asked Link, shaking his head to sweep his hair out of his eyes.
"No-a!" replied Mario quickly.
"Well, that was lame!" scoffed Link, turning on the spot and running off.
"We bought time for the others-a!" called Mario, running after him.
"Run to the city limits!" called Link, seeing a sign up ahead.
Mario and Link tore past the sign, hearing the cries of the others, and ended up crossing from their Mansion's universe to:-
"Eldin Bridge?" asked Link, amazed.
Mario panted, assuming since Link knew this, they must have gone into Hyrule.
"There are the others!" grinned Link. The other Smashers, on the whole, seemed happy to have their entire group alive and well. Kirby ran out to congratulate Link and Mario on escaping.
"Heh, thanks Kirby," chuckled Link, but he froze as soon as he heard footsteps behind him. "Now run."
"Why?" asked Kirby, not as tall as Link, he had to squint past Link to see the upcoming intrusions.
Mario turned as well, and saw a terrible sight. A large goblin riding a piglike creature was approaching, and fast.
"Run!" cried Link. "It's King Bulblin and Lord Bullbo!"
Link dashed away, occasionally turning around to fire an arrow or two at Bulblin.
"Aagh!" yelped Kirby, as Bulblin ripped the arrow out of his shoulder and tossed it like a dart at Kirby. Samus sprinted forward to assist Kirby, but was quickly dispatched by Bullbo. But before Bullbo could trample over Samus, a sharp pang of electricity struck his horn, coursing down into his head.
"Game set!" smiled Pikachu triumphantly, his cheeks tingling.
Thrown off of Bullbo, who skidded past an unusual crack in the floor, Bulblin gave a derisive snort, and pulled a bomb out from hammerspace.
"What you gonna do with that thing?" sneered Pikachu. Link winced at his end of the bridge, as Bulblin threw the bomb on the ground and ran.
The bomb's fuse was running out.
"I could become Bomb Kirby and save us if I could get to that bomb!" decided Kirby, trying to make up for having gotten Samus injured. Kirby charged towards the bomb...
...but it was too late, the bomb exploded, blowing Pikachu into the air, and the entire middle section of the bridge to smithereens. Kirby skidded to a halt just before the crack.
Mario, was still standing at the other side of the bridge, caught Pikachu, but realised, "How the heck-a am I gonna get over there-a?!"
Link bit his lip nervously, wondering if Midna would be able to help somehow...a remote chance...
A portal appeared and filled in the missing portion of the bridge.
"How the hell?" asked Link.
Mario, Pikachu, and Kirby, who was dragging a limp Samus, trudged along to the other side of the bridge.
"Okay...let's-a go..."
Wow, that was a lot better than usual...review?