MIKE NEWTON'S POV OF THE CULLENS AND BELLA SWAN
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.
Name:- Pranking Lauren Mallory
Rating:- K
Warning: Could result in detention or expulsion if tried in real life.
Summary: Alice, Edward and Bella prank Mike and Lauren with water-guns. Yeah, I said Lauren. It was kind of a last-minute decision.
Author's Note: Review? Please? With a pretty please and a cherry on top?
Timeline: Between New Moon and Eclipse.
Character POV: Bella Swan
Time: Next-day
Settings: Swan residence
I sat at the coffee table in the kitchen, my dog-eared copy of Wuthering Heights in front of me. Charlie was at the station. Edward was going to be late today, since he and Alice were going over a few things involving the prank.
I was reading my copy of Wuthering Heights. Edward was intrigued by the fact that I had read it over and over since my first time in seventh grade. I'd always found Catherine and Heathcliff fascinating, but he didn't understand why.
There was a gentle knock at the door, and I almost overturned my cup of coffee in my haste to reach the door. Looks like my clumsiness is back. Ugh.
I opened the door breathlessly, and heaved a sigh of relief and contentment at the sight of my Edward standing in front of me.
He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Good morning, Bella," he greeted me. "Did you sleep well?"
There was an hint of humor in his tone.
"Oh- I slept very well," I played along. Two could play at this game.
He smiled again, and I was in bliss. His happiness was my happiness.
"Hey, Bella!" A chirpy voice came from behind Edward, and Alice's small inky head peeked around him, her elfin features alight with delight.
"Alice?" I asked. "What are you doing here so early?"
"Planning, duh!" She said as a matter-of-factly. "We're to prank Lauren, remember?"
"Oh."
She swept past me into the kitchen.
Edward rolled his eyes, and pulled me gently into the house, shutting the door behind him.
When we entered the kitchen, Alice had already made herself comfortable in her seat. I sat down opposite her, and Edward beside me.
"Since Edward wouldn't unstick himself from you last night," Alice told me, her eyes narrowing slightly at him. "I have to repeat our plans again."
She sighed dramatically and continued. "But since you're Bella, my best-friend, I guess this wait doesn't go to waste."
"Alice, Charlie hasn't ungrounded me yet," I said. "I don't want to end up with a sentence of two more weeks of being grounded because I stepped out of the house to prank Lauren Mallory."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella. Who do you think I am? Did you honestly think I would come unprepared?"
"Sorry, Alice. Go on."
"Geez-Bella, you worry too much," Alice complained. "We're pranking Lauren in school, not outside. Charlie can't follow you into class and put you on 24-hour supervision."
I winced at the mental image. I would die of embarrassment if Charlie ever did that. "Alice, promise me, don't ever mention that to Charlie."
Alice giggled, and winked at Edward as some secret passed between them.
And then she turned to me. "Okay, so here's what we'll do..."
Character point of view: Alice Cullen
Time: Sometime later
Setting: Outside classroom, in Forks High School
I had come early to school, so that we could carry out the prank without being caught. Nobody was around this early. Luck for me.
I squatted down, and took out the tiny device. It was so tiny that it couldn't be spotted, unless you stared hard at it.
I removed the protective casing off the device and stuck it under the desk of Lauren Mallory.
I saw many gross things under the desk when I had to stick the device under the desk. Trust me, you definitely don't want to see them unless you want to barf wherever you're sitting. I shuddered, glad that I didn't have any human food in my stomach.
At the moment, a bright, clear-as-day vision popped up and I smiled. This prank was going smoothly like the texture of brand-new heels! Yay!
I got up, picked up my bag and slipped out of the room. Edward and Bella were waiting for me there.
"How'd it go?" Bella asked me, trying not to smile.
"Perfect!" I chirped. I tried not to think about the other part of the prank -Lauren's textbook. Edward looked at me oddly when I started reciting the verses of Barbie Girl by Aqua.
Edward, Bella and I walked to the parking lot where most of the Forks High students would hang out before class started, and I didn't want to raise suspicion among them because Lauren Mallory had been embarrassed in Spanish, and Alice Cullen was seen inside of the school early morning before class.
The bell rang after fifteen minutes, and the Forks High students herded together like a cattle of cows.
When we were walking to Spanish, I couldn't help but grin at the upcoming drama. Oh, this was so fun. If we didn't have to constantly NOT attract attention to ourselves, I would definitely do this more often. Emmett would agree with me.
"Are you sure you didn't see yourself blowing up because you grinned too much?" Bella teased me. I rolled my eyes.
Edward smiled when Bella wasn't looking. It was obvious that he was glad that our friendship was renewed.
Mrs. Goff was already there, but she wasn't bothered by the fact that we were late. I guess it's because Edward and I knew more Spanish than she did.
We sat into our seats, and I looked at Lauren Mallory, sitting diagonally from me. She didn't look suspicious, and I was grateful for that.
Just then, I had another onslaw of visions -most of them were trivial things, like Mrs. Goff deciding to go shopping in the evening, Tyler Crowley deciding to ask out Susie Summers, Katie Marshall deciding to break up with Austin Fairbanks and go out with Eric Yorkie et cetera. Boring.
I blinked and tried to focus on the current situation.
Mrs. Goff was babbling about something in Spanish, but I wasn't listening. Ugh, when would Lauren Mallory do it! This was a total killer class.
Character Point of View: Edward Cullen
Time: Continuing off from where Alice's POV stopped
Setting: Spanish classroom
The class was getting boring. Couldn't Mrs. Goff just stop yammering about Spanish verbs and pronouns? From the thoughts I was getting from others, it was obvious that most of the students (except for Bella, Alice and I) were half-asleep.
I wonder whether my hair is okay? The nasal-sounding thoughts of Lauren Mallory (the girl who hated Bella, Alice and Rosalie) pierced the barrier I had set up in my head. Damn, why can't Goff just get on with it and give us the test? Oh my, that blouse is totally screwed-up ugly!
I looked at Lauren, and saw that she was leaning in to whisper to her partner, Jessica Stanley.
"Can you believe Goff is wearing that super-ugly blouse? It looks like its from the 1970s!" She whispered to Jessica.
Unfortunately for her, her tiny whisper became magnified three times and it echoed around the room.
Mrs. Goff looked hurt and annoyed. "Lauren Mallory! What is the meaning of this!"
"I-I'm so sorry, Mrs. Goff! I didn't mean it!"The latter looked mortified. Ugh, I must have spoken too loud! How totally em-bah-raz-ing!
Fifteen minutes passed before Lauren struck again.
"Jess, can you believe that I saw Tyler licking his nose! That's totally ew!" She whispered to the curly-haired gossiper beside her.
Again, the whisper tranformed into a loud shout. Man, Emmett would love this. Too bad I didn't have a video camera with me now.
I heard Tyler's thoughts. Oh, man -I knew I should have shut the bathroom door! Great, she'll be spreading it through the school. And before nighttime, the entire town will know. Grreee-at!
Beside me, Bella was snickering into her hands. The sight of her in utter mirth and delight was bliss to me.
Mrs. Goff was glaring at the red-faced Lauren and Jessica. "Now-"
"Ugh, I really hate Mrs. Goff," Lauren muttered to Jessica. "Damn, my ponytail's too tight! I spent, like, half-an-hour on it!"
"Ms Mallory, when you've finished telling Ms Stanley about your hair and your hate for me, can we at least continue this class?" Mrs. Goff's angry shriek reached the two girls. What is wrong with this class! This is a loony-bin!
Lauren looked like a deer caught in the headlights as she tried to stammer out her explanation. How come my voice is so loud? I don't remember raising it! Ugh, I'm going nuts!
Mrs. Goff lectured Lauren about talking in the class. Meanwhile, I was curious to hear what the other children were thinking. So I let down the mind-barriers, and the chaotic thoughts surged forward.
Jeez, Lauren really has to practice lowering her voice!...
Are Mallory and Stanley back in second grade! They were so loud, like a pair of overtalkative parakeets!...
Ugh, my head hurts...hope Senora Goff lets us off...last time it didn't go well enough...
Hmm...maybe Lauren and Jess are doing it on purpose...to waste time?...Woah, that's such a great idea! Maybe Mark and I could try it on Mr. Banner...
What do Lauren and Jessica think they are -a pair of sopranos? Man, they really are lunatics.
...stinks like brussel sprouts! Doesn't Mike ever take a shower? Or has he ever heard of one?
I hope Joshua and Isaac don't create trouble at home...
Pink. Pink. That's what I want for my new room. Bright, bubble-gum pink. Like Nymphadora Tonks' hair.
Which guy should I choose -Austin or Nick? Austin's kinda cute, but Nick has more brains...
Oh my god, I can't wait to tell Katie and Marci about Lauren talking in class. This is priceless!
What will the Gossip Duo do next? Hippie-dance on Mrs. Goff's head? Snog Mr. Greene in a storage room? Ew... and Lauren, that's definitely GROSS!
No way I'm missing this! I wonder how Lauren's voice is so loud...perhaps a case of taorhtapin? Dad said they can cause your throat to get problems...
I pulled up the barriers, and the thoughts dimmed slightly. I glanced at Bella, and found out that her eyes were fixed on me. Just then, a beautiful crimson grew across her cheeks. She was blushing. An extermely adorable blush.
My hand traced the outline of her cheeks. She was mine. The thought filled me with joy and happiness. She was mine, I thought.
Ugh, I'm feeling really sleepy, Lauren thought moodily. This Spanish class totally sucks.
She unsuccessfully stifled an huge yawn. The sound of the yawn echoed in the room, and it was one entire moment, before the whole class exploded in laughter.
"That was one helluva of a yawn!" Tyler Crowley hooted before succumbing to another bout of laughter.
Hey, Edward! Jasper's mental voice called out to me cheerily. I started in surprise and looked around. And I saw it through Jasper's eyes -the huge tree near the Spanish classroom. I looked out the window beside me, and there Jasper was, grinning like the Cheshire cat, on one of the branches of the tree closest to the classroom.
"Impressive." I muttered, so lowly that no human ears picked up what I said.
Thanks, bro, Jasper thought. Alice planned this.
Oh, so she did it, huh? That would explain why she kept chanting the words of every single song ever played by Aqua, and then after she was done with all songs, translating them into Chinese. I was beginning to wonder if it was possible for vampires to become insane too.
"Where's Emmett?" I asked Jasper in the same low voice. Bella glanced at me curiously.
I jerked my head at the window. She looked there, and her eyes widened in surprise.
"Alice?" She mouthed at me. I nodded, and a grudging look of respect for her best-friend appeared on her beautiful face.
Emmett's out hunting, Jasper told me mentally after Bella and I stopped conversing silently. Rosalie and Esme went with him. About time too, since he's been cranky this week. Rosalie was ready to whack him over the head if he dared to yell at the TV again just because one of the humans was stupid enough to trip over another human in the arena.
I shook my head. Honestly. I looked over my shoulder, to where Alice was sitting behind us.
She gave me a grin that displayed all of her pearly-white teeth.
How do you like it, huh? She asked me in her thoughts.
I made a decision to tell her that I liked the prank very much, and she got the vision.
Thank you, Edward, she thought. But now, let Jasper do his work.
She had obviously sent a signal to her husband through emotions, because Jasper focused his power on Lauren Mallory.
"Now, class -please open your textbooks," Mrs. Goff commanded. "Turn to page seventy-three."
Everyone did as she ordered us to, including Lauren Mallory.
And then Lauren sneezed, but the sneeze was three times louder. So loud, the girl in front of Lauren jumped in fright.
And then she sneezed over and over, till the count was over seven.
Most of the class found it hilarious and were laughing. The only people who weren't laughing were Lauren and the teacher, Mrs. Goff who apparently didn't find it hilarious.
"Ms Mallory, are you done?" Mrs. Goff asked, annoyed. "Or do we have to wait for more?"
"I-I can't stop!" Lauren wailed, sneezing repeatedly. "A-a-choo!"
I made up my mind to ask Alice at lunchtime, how she managed to make Lauren sneeze.
Here, Alice thought. And then I was seeing her memories. Alice opening Lauren Mallory's locker. Taking out her Spanish textbook. Sprinkling the fine sneezing powder into the pages that Mrs. Goff would be teaching today. Asking Jasper to manipulate Lauren's feelings, especially when she sneezed [agitated feeling] and when she yawned [sleepy feeling].
And then, I snapped back into reality.
Don't worry, Alice reassured me. The sneezing effect wears off after twenty minutes.
"May I-achoo!-be ex-achoo!-cused?" Lauren asked while sneezing. "Need to-achoo!-go to- achoo!-nurse's office."
Mrs. Goff sniffed delicately, and gave her permission. She couldn't be less pleased that her least favorite student had to leave her class.
Twenty minutes later, Lauren was back, red-faced.
How did the sneezing stop so suddenly! It's not possible! Her thoughts were enraged.
Mrs. Goff's pleasure at having the girl leave her class, disappeared.
How...what...oh no, not one of those horrible pranks!Her thoughts were also enraged, but I got the wrong idea. What if Goff knew that Alice was behind all of this?
Calm down, Edward, Alice assured me in her thoughts. It's not what you think.
"Lauren Mallory! Are you trying to trick me!" Goff yelled at the blond girl.
Bella's mouth twitched as she tried to hide a smile.
"No, I wasn't!" Lauren replied boldly. This made Goff angrier. She yelled at Lauren in Spanish for 'pranking' her. After being humiliated thoroughly by the mad Spanish teacher, she was told to go to her seat.
Lauren didn't look at Tyler or Jessica when she sank into her seat.
It was nearly ten minutes, after Jasper struck again. Lauren began to cry as the misery Jasper made her feel, overtook her.
"Ms Mallory?" Mrs. Goff was bewildered. Why is the girl crying now? Was I too hard on her?
"No...no..." Lauren wailed as tears streamed down her nose and cheeks. Her wails got magnified by the tiny device under her desk, and it sounded more like screaming.
The thoughts of other children were a bit funny.
What the hell? Is she crazy now?
Man, she does look a bit silly! Tears and red nose don't look nice together.
I wonder if those weird mood swings are due to that time women have during each month...I'd known it was a bad time, but really this much? Wow, it must be terrible, if you start crying in Spanish class!
Damn it, why won't Mallory just stop crying like a baby? She looks horrid and she also sounds bad too!
And then, Lauren's tears stopped suddenly when Jasper withdrew his power from her.
"Finished?" Mrs. Goff asked coldly. "Or is there more?"
Embarrassed, Lauren shook her head. And then she sniffed. Only problem was, her sniffs got magnified, and it sounded more like a dying vacuum cleaner pulling in empty air.
"Now, with NO interruptions from you Ms Mallory, please read the seventh chapter in your textbook." Mrs. Goff placed her most menacing look on Lauren.
When the bell rang, everyone took their things and the moment they were out the classroom door, they started gossiping excitedly about the Lauren Mallory incident as they would later call it.
When Bella, Alice and I were reaching the door, I heard a few thoughts from the weary Spanish teacher.
I think I'll just take the rest of the day off. This class is the worst class I have ever taught. The only perfect students in this class are Edward and Alice Cullen.
Oh, the irony. How wrong she was!
"Oh, just in case you need to know," Alice stated casually after sometime. "Jasper videotaped the entire incident, so Emmett can see what happened after all."
Author's Note: The word 'taorhtapin' was invented by me. Now, anyone who can guess what word 'taorhtapin' was formed from? Eg: Primrose = soremirp i.e the word is jumbled into another word.
Review PLEASE!
240 reviews = 1 more chapter.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed!
Hint for next chapter = Jessica Stanley and mooses :)
P.S I hope the pranks in this chapter aren't cruel.