MIKE NEWTON, THE KING OF EMBARRASSMENT
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.
Name:- Jessica and the Moose Part-I
Rating:- K
Warning: Could result in detention or expulsion if tried in real life.
Summary: The Cullens prank Jessica. Part-I.
Timeline: Between New Moon and Eclipse.
Author's Note: Read on! And then, review please. Please.
Character Point Of View: Rosalie Hale
Time: The next day; early-morning [6:00 AM]
Setting: Cullen dining room [A.K.A Cullen conference room]
I sat stiffly at the dining table. Why did I have to waste time like this? Right now, I could be installing a new engine in Emmett's Jeep or re-painting my nails. I don't think the sapphire-blue nail polish goes well with my silvery-grey dress. Clashes too much, I think.
"Babe, just give it a try," Emmett pleaded.
I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. It probably wouldn't hurt to listen to what Alice and Jasper wanted to say...
I heard Carlisle and Esme stroll into the room. I blinked, and dragged my eyes away from Emmett's hypnotic ones. Note to self -never ever look into Emmett's eyes unless it's nighttime.
"Are Alice and Jasper here yet?" Esme asked me.
"Nah." I shook my head. It was totally like Alice to keep the suspense. Make us wait, then let us practically combust with suspense and anticipation. And then strut in, smiling like the Cheshire cat. Sure, I like the pixie, but she can be a little trying at times.
"Edward?" Carlisle asked.
Even though we all knew the answer, Emmett replied: "At Bella's."
Ugh, I really wish he wouldn't say the human's name. It was so...irritating. I know, I know -I should be making an effort to like her. But it's really hard for me, since she wants to become one of the eternally damned. When it's a decade later, she'll realize the side effects of being a vampire. Frozen forever at eighteen? Sure, a woman's dreamiest dream. But frozen enough that you can't even have babies? Not a woman's dream. Frozen enough that you can't even savor the sight of your unborn newborn grandchildren? No, not a woman's dream. I could spend all afternoon listing the disadvantages of being a vampire. The unbearable thirst. The inability to go out in sunlight. The sight of your skin sparkling like something unhuman. Yeah, I certainly could go on.
The sound of Alice's light footsteps and Jasper's trumping footsteps jerked me out of my reverie. At last. Seriously, how much time did it take for them to run at vampire speed from Edward's girlfriend's house to our house?
"Where's Edward?" Jasper asked, when he and Alice were seated.
"He's..." Alice stared off into space. She was in a vision. And then she grimaced. "Doing some business with Bella. Ugh."
"Oh." Carlisle, Esme and Jasper looked embarrassed. Only Emmett was laughing.
"Jeez, Emmett," I complained. "Why can't you just stop laughing at every thing the pathetic human does? It's stupid and unnecessary."
"Babe, don't you get it?" He asked me, chuckling hysterically. "Our little hundred-and-five-year old virgin Eddie is finally getting some!"
Alice snorted. "Emmett, don't be silly. You know, Edward would never ever do anything like that. And besides, what I saw this morning was only a little drip of what we do at night."
"Whatever!" Emmett said, snickering. "But still, it's hilarious."
"I don't see the joke anyway." I said coldly. Edward was only putting his human in more danger by this! It would take just one mistake, just one mistake, and -bang! The human's dead, and we're all doomed back to Alaska. Yeah, definitely not good.
"Hey, Jazz and I came here to tell you about our plans," Alice snapped, her bubbly personality gone. "We didn't come to bicker and quarrel like wolves."
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Alice's mention of the wolves had done it.
Ever since we came back to Forks, the problem of the werewolf pack from La Push still loomed over the horizon. Nearly two weeks after we came back, Edward came home looking like Emmett wrecked his beloved Aston Martin again. In simpler words, he looked mad. And then he'd told us about the visit by Bella's puppy friend -what was his name? Jarvis? Jacob? Yeah, that one. Anyway, the pup called Jacob 'warned' Bella and Edward about the treaty conditions [that is, if we dared to make Bella into a vampire the pack would attack, et cetera] which simply didn't do anything, but make us even more uneasier. Oh, and the other two threats -the Volturi and that stupid woman, Victoria- still hung over our heads.
"So...uhm...what are your plans?" Esme attempted to break the silence. It worked, in a still-uneasy way.
"Oh, I have so much to tell you!" Alice squealed -her bubbly personality was back.
"I'm sure you do." I muttered boredly. Seriously, I was dying [Hey, that's only a figure of speech!] of boredom in this forsaken town.
Jasper glared at me. I ignored it.
"Okay, so Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, Edward, and I are going to take part in this prank," Alice started. "Rosalie, I saw in a vision that you wouldn't come anyway, and Esme has to go to Seattle at the time to buy a new sofa because Emmett and Jasper destroyed it after their last wrestling match. Bella'll be the captivated audience."
I snorted [Yeah, I wasn't going to come anyway, what with Bella being there 'n' all] and I saw Esme sigh in relief. She was glad not to be part of these pranks. I guess it's because she loves the humans, and hates to see them get hurt or frightened. Whatever.
"Hurry up, pixie!" Emmett complained. "I want to hear the main part! Man, you really are evil, just as Jasper said!"
Jasper looked mortified. "Alice, I swear I didn't-"
Alice mock-glared at him. "Oh, I'm so hurt! Jasper Whitlock Hale, did you actually call me 'evil'?"
"No, no, no-" Jasper said, panicking. Obviously, he was afraid of the omnipresent Alice Cullen's wrath.
Alice picked a fashion magazine of mine that had just come from Tokyo, Japan today itself. She balled the Japanese magazine into a roll and hit both Jasper and Emmett directly on the heads with it. Ugh, I hoped the magazine wasn't damaged -I didn't even get to read it yet!
"Ow!" Emmett pretended to be hurt. "Man, there's gonna be a whopper of a bruise tomorrow!"
"Dude." Jasper shook his head. "That's so unoriginal. You used those words in 1978 and 1999."
"Stop it!" Alice looked angry. And then she softened. "Okay -Carlisle, Jessica will come today to the hospital with an injured wrist. It'll need six stitches anyway. You should..."
Character Point of View: Jessica Stanley
Time: Afternoon, same day
Setting: Forks General Hospital*
Scowling, I waited in the corridor outside the doctor's room.
How could I have been so utterly careless with the knife?
It wasn't my fault the pumpkin I was cutting was hard as rock, and because of that, my knife slipped off the cursed pumpkin's ultra-hard hide, and right on my wrist. I'd had to deal with a hysterical mother who completely thought I'd just stabbed my heart with the knife instead of my wrist, a dysfunctional car, a screaming cat called Cat, a totally crazy neighbor, and about five phone calls from Lauren about whoever dumped her this time. And right now, I was stuck in a deserted hospital corridor, waiting outside the room of some nutty doctor. The doctor probably had slicked-back hair like Dracula, a poker-stick of a moustache and ridiculous, pig-like eyes.
A crabby-looking nurse came out, holding a file. Finally. I thought it would be the year 2034 before the nurse called me in.
"Jessica Stanley," she called out. Here, here-the girl who loves to backstab her friends, and gossip about what numbskull did what numbskulled thing in this stupid water-cage of a town, and who hopes that both Edward Cullen and Mike Newton would marry her though she preferred Edward Cullen. "Dr. Cullen will be seeing you shortly."
Wait -wha...
Did I hear that right?
Dr. Cullen. As in Carlisle Cullen, the adopted daddy of the perfect Cullen family that strutted about like peacocks and chucked away millions of money like they were mere peanuts? As in Carlisle Cullen, the most efficient doctor in the entire of North America, the doctor that most hospitals would sacrifice for?
"Well?" Mrs. Crabby Nurse asked me. "Are you coming in?"
"Uhm...yeah, I'm coming!" I replied nervously. What if my hair wasn't good enough? What if Dr. Cullen thought I looked like a turkey-pig hybrid wearing clothes and a wig? Ugh, that would be totally embarrassing.
I scrabbled on the spot, searching frantically for my purse. Damn, where was it? And then I spotted my purse right in the middle of where I'd been sitting a minute ago.
Mortified, I looked around for any witnesses. An old guy with a single hair dangling on his huge forehead was watching me with beady eyes. When my eyes met his, he let out a ginormous guffaw.
I could guess what he was thinking though. 'What is that curly haired girl doing? Sitting on her own purse? Oh my, she really is a cracked nut.'
I flushed bright Vermilion-red and grabbed my crumpled purse. Embarrassing...embarrassing!
Mrs Crabby Nurse sighed in relief, probably because she was grateful that she didn't have to lug about my ass because I turned out to be mentally retarded.
The crabby-looking nurse led me to the Room of Could-Be Embarrassment. I sat down on the stretcher in the middle of the room.
"Dr. Cullen will be with you shortly." She stated and exited the room.
A second passed before Dr. Cullen appeared.
The moment I locked my eyes onto his face, I think a part of me died of bliss.
His perfectly angled face...the golden locks of hair swept back in a totally hot hairstyle...golden eyes smouldering like warm flames [what is with the Cullens' and their weird eyes?]...his lovely lips..
Oh, do me a favour. Forget that I ever said anything about the doctor having slicked-back hair, a pokerstick of a moustache and pig eyes. Forget it all.
"Ms. Stanley?" Dr. Cullen spoke to me, jerking me out of my reverie. His voice was like music to me. His ice-cold hands were holding my injured hand. Why are the Cullens' hands so cold? Do they live in refrigerators or what?
"Uhm, yes?" I said in a not-very musical voice. Damn, all Cullen women were so lucky! It wasn't fair at all. They got the beauty, money, and even hot guys. That was like tipping the balance of equality in my eyes.
"You'll need stitches." He stated.
"Uh, um, okay..." I could only stutter.
He took out a shiny, sharp needle.
"Ick." I gulped.
I'll share a secret with you- I hate needles. I guess that's the only thing that I have that is almost common with that klutz Bella Swan. Shh, don't tell her. The only way I managed not to bolt from the Biology room that day we were doing blood-typing, was because I kept thinking of how Edward Cullen and I would look like on our wedding-day. And we all know that there is a 0% chance that it'll ever happen.
"Hmm, you hate needles, am I correct?" Dr. Cullen said thoughtfully. Looks like my secret wasn't as discreet as I hoped. Well, atleast it was the super-hot doctor who knew, not Lauren. "Well, here's a way to forget your fears."
Anything you say...anything you say...anything you say...
"Think of something happy." He told me.
Huh?
Before I could say anything, Dr. Cullen's phone rang.
He took out the phone and answered the phone call.
"Who...oh, it's you, Alice," Dr. Cullen said into the phone. "Huh? What happened?"
Alice? What was Alice doing on the phone? Oh right, she was his adopted daughter. I felt jealous. She could get anything. Clothes, money, looks, a hot guy, everything.
"What do you mean a rabid moose escaped? Alice, are you sure?" Dr. Cullen's voice turned panicked. "How could the officials have been so careless?"
Huh? A moose escaped. Oh God, Oh God! I hate moose! They look like brown demons with their horrid devil antlers and ugly brown coats! Ugh!
Alice had obviously said something because Dr. Cullen snorted.
"Right," He said sarcastically. "I had no idea that...uh, a moose could escape because it had the ability to run at high speed and the ability to push things out of its way!"
My ears perked up. What was happening?
"Oh. That's really horrible news," Dr. Cullen spoke to the phone. He stopped. And then he spoke again. "What if Esme finds that the moose has escaped to our backyard?"
A moment passed as Dr. Cullen nodded to whatever Alice was telling him. He looked serious.
I didn't understand what was happening. What was the problem about the moose? Ugh, this was totally confusing!
"Well, thank you, Alice for telling me this," he said sincerely. "Tell Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Bella, Jasper and Esme to be careful. I'll come home after sometime. Right now, I have a patient."
And with that he shut off his phone and put it back in his pocket.
"What happened there?" I asked curiously.
Dr. Cullen sighed wearily.
"A rabid moose escaped from the national park," he said worriedly. "It is...well...it's kind of larger than other moose. And right now, it's on the loose in Forks. I hope it won't attack anybody again."
I noticed he said the word 'again'.
"Who got attacked?" I asked. I hope it's Bella...but Dr. Cullen told Alice to tell Bella to be careful...so that probably meant Bella was safe at Chief Swan's house.
"Oh, a forest official." Dr. Cullen said.
"Oh." I hoped the moose wouldn't come in our house.
Dr. Cullen stitched my wrist up, and he let me go. I thanked him politely, and went out of the hospital.
I really hope the moose doesn't come near me, I thought as I slid into my stupid, dysfunctional car.
Character Point of View: Carlisle Cullen
Time: Same time [It's Carlisle's POV of the time when it was Jessica's POV, i.e Carlisle's POV of the hospital scene]
Setting: Forks General Hospital
I strolled into my office, passing Nurse Walker on the way. She batted her eyelashes at me and shot a flirtateous smile at me. When would people ever see that I was already married to the most beautiful woman in the world?. Even though an estimate of 90 years had passed, I still couldn't help but admire my Esme's beauty. I felt worthy whenever she smiled at me.
Jessica Stanley was sitting on the stretcher in the middle of the room. I smelt dried blood in the air. Alice had told me that the Stanley girl would come to me with a cut wrist, and that I would have to put my acting skills to use.
I saw her staring at me and I sighed. My beauty was a tool used by my kind. My kind would lure the unsuspecting humans away and then when they were alone, kill them.
I picked her wrist and checked the damage. It was indeed cut up and from what I could smell, by a knife, though the cut wasn't too deep. But still, it would need stitches.
"Ms. Stanley?" I asked her politely. Her eyes were glazed over, like she was physically present but mentally very far away.
"Uhm, yes?" She stuttered. Her heartbeat skipped unsteadily. I hoped she wouldn't faint.
I told her she would need stitches.
"Uh, um, okay..." She was still staring at me.
When I took out the needle, her heartbeat increased. Hmm. So she was afraid of needles, was she?
"Ick." She gulped in fright.
"Hmm...you hate needles, am I correct?" I asked her though I knew the answer already. Better be safe rather than sorry. "Well, here's a way to forget your fears."
Jessica's eyes glazed over again. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Think of something happy." I told her. It always worked.
And then Alice decided to start the prank by calling me through her cellphone. The point was to arouse Jessica's curiousity enough to make her ask what the problem was.
"Who...oh, it's you, Alice." I said.
"Excellent acting, Carlisle! Keep it up, Jessica is listening." Alice said.
"Huh? What happened?" I asked.
"Now, ask about the 'rabid moose'." Alice prompted me.
"What do you mean a rabid moose escaped? Alice, are you sure?" I added panic to my voice. "How could the officials have been so careless?"
"You're right, the officials were careless," Emmett's booming voice reached the phone. "They let two bears, a mountain lion, six elks and a cougar escape unnoticed." He was referring to our rather lengthy hunt last week.
I heard somebody slap him.
In front of me, Jessica's heartbeat sped up.
Emmett's bear-like laugh floated through the phone. Of course he would find it funny that I was the one to convey the 'terrible' news.
"Wow, you're scaring Jessica! Don't overdo it though. I saw her faint in one of my visions." Alice warned me. I decided not to add the horrified gasp in my next line.
"Woah, Carlisle is scaring a human? Jasper, we should celebrate!" Emmett's excited voice boomed again, and I heard him say "Dude! I was joking!" when I somebody slapped him again.
"Well? Whatcha think?" Emmett asked me. I wondered where Alice had gone.
"Right.I had no idea that..." I balked. I had almost said the wrong words! "Uh, a moose could escape because it had the ability to run at high speed and the ability to push things out of its way!" Sounds like a moose I know. I'll give you a hint -he's Rosalie's husband.
"Oh, Carlisle -Esme says she can't come for the hunt tonight," Alice said, back from wherever she had disappeared to. "She says she'll come tomorrow though."
"Oh. That's really horrible news," I said. Wrong words, wrong words! Why did Alice keep distracting me? Mental face-to-palm. I backpedalled. "What if Esme finds that the moose has escaped to our backyard?"
"Gree-at, Carlisle," Alice said sarcastically. "You're confusing Jessica! You should act like you totally understand what I'm 'telling' you about the 'rabid moose', okay? And then, Jessica will ask you what happened. Just say it plain and plain -a 'rabid moose' escaped from the national park. It's on the loose. Very dangerous. Very scary-ish. It can murder you with a jab of its antlers. Okay?"
"Mhm." I nodded, trying my best to look 'understanding'.
"Okay, now convey the news!" Alice's voice sang.
"Well, thank you, Alice for telling me this," I told her gratefully. And I added another sentence for good measure. "Tell Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Bella, Jasper and Esme to be careful. I'll come home after sometime. Right now, I have a patient."
"Good luck!" Alice muttered before she ended the call. I shut my phone and put it into my pocket.
"What happened there?" Jessica asked.
I sighed, adding a 'weary' tone to it for another good measure.
"A rabid moose escaped from the national park," I said in my best 'worried' voice. "It is...well...it's kind of larger than other moose. And right now, it's on the loose in Forks. I hope it won't attack anybody again." I emphasized the word 'again'.
Jessica noticed my emphasization. "Who got attacked?"
"Oh, a forest official." I fibbed.
"Oh."
After I finished stitching up her wound, she thanked me and left the hospital. I heard her drive out in her car.
Thank goodness this is over, I thought.
A/N: Please do review. Please?
ANSWER TO 'TAORHTAPIN': Throat pain!
Congratulations to those who got the answer correct!
I divided Chapter 25 into 2 parts because it was too long. Chapter 25 Part II will come after sometime.