MIKE NEWTON, THE KING OF EMBARRASSMENT
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.
Name: - Jessica and the Moose Part-III
Rating: -K
Summary: - Why is Jessica so scared of moose lurking in her backyard?
Timeline: - Between New Moon and Eclipse.
A/N: - Please, I am so sorry for not updating early! It's that I got some low marks for my exams…well, you get the idea. Review, please? I hope this chapter is good.
Character Point of View: Emmett Cullen
Time: Night-time
There was a small storm tonight. There would be no rain, just lightning and thunder. I was standing outside the Stanley girl's house. Jasper and Alice, Edward and Bella were there too. Edward, being the overprotective vampire here, insisted that Bella wear some extra clothes to protect herself from the god-knows-what in the skies.
Damn. I really wish Rose was here...
"This is so stupid," Edward muttered. "Why are we even here?"
I told you to wait and not jump to conclusions, Eddie, I thought irritably. With your pompousness and pretty-boy behavior, you're ruining the mood here. It's the time for pranking, not lecturing!
I heard him growl behind me, and I smirked. It was good to see that he was getting annoyed by my words –a sign that the Edward B.C [the nickname I had given to the Edward before Bella came into his life] was still wriggling in there.
Alice pranced forward; her elfin features alight like the lampposts of London in 1857.
"Emmett, did you bring the costume?" asked Alice, though she knew the outcome already.
"Of course, I did!" I said indignantly. What did she think I was? And since when did I ever forget to bring anything?
"1997," Edward muttered. "You purposely forgot to bring Jasper's pants when they had a...problem... in the storage room."
Damn. Him and his thought-stealing tricks. Alice and Jasper glared at Edward for bringing up that touchy subject.
"I don't steal thoughts, Emmett!" Edward hissed. "They come into my head, whether I like it or not!"
Finally! Someone was on my side! Even if they were just 'thoughts'.
"Well, they should!" I said. "Someone" or some thoughts "need to torment you, since you're already doing that to us."
"Boys!" reprimanded Alice, sounding oddly like Esme. "We came here to prank Jessica, not squabble over trifle things like thoughts! Emmett, behave!"
Bella and Jasper snickered.
Alice signalled at me to put on the moose costume. I grumbled and put on the coarse thing. It was so hot and uncomfortable.
"Again, why am I always the guinea pig in your pranks?" I grouched as Alice fiddled about with the radio buttons.
"Because you are the only person suitable for the role," snapped Alice.
"I'm suitable for being the animal?" I asked indignantly. "What happened to the sound and light effects?"
"No offense, Emmett," said Alice. "But you act kind of like an animal sometimes. And besides, Edward is the sound and light effect man." She smirked at Edward behind me.
"I really don't think this is such a good idea," whispered Bella. "What if we get caught?"
"Way to ruin the mood here, Bella!" said Alice sourly. "I checked. Jessica won't even suspect us."
Bella sighed, just when Alice shoved me towards the tree near Jessica's window. I growled at Alice like a moose before climbing the tree. My moose-y head wobbled a bit, and I put up a hand to steady it. I was careful not to make a sound as I perched myself on the nearest branch to the window. Alice gave me a thumb up before hopping on the branch below me.
"Now, Emmett!" whispered Alice.
Character Point of View: Jessica Stanley
Setting: Her bedroom
Time: Continuing off from previous chapter.
My scream echoed in the room and died down like a radio with poor reception. I swallowed again. Maybe the freak moose was just a figment of my imagination…
But if it was real, then it would have gone straight for Bella Swan's house! She was a total danger magnet. Heh. That would leave Gorgey Edward Cullen open for me! The thought cheered me up slightly, but my fantasizing was brought to an end when the ugly moose reared its head just when a flash of lightning appeared.
Eeek.
It made me feel like the victim in a horror movie, except in place of the insane killer, an "I-just-ran-away-from-the-park-and-wanna-gut-you-now" moose was now stalking me. Just flipping great.
I shifted nervously. It probably was just a shadow of that ugly, pathetic tree outside my house…God knows how many times I had begged Dad to cut down it.
Maybe I could open the window and see if it was just the silly old tree. I got out of the bed, and kicked my slippers that were lying in the way. I then stepped towards the window when the moose let out an almighty roar, and brandished its antlers at the window.
I let out another blood curdling scream and stepped back, ultimately tripping over the slippers that I had previously kicked. I was a flailing mass of limbs and hair, trying to regain my balance when I realized that I had just pulled a Bella Swan stunt. Oh, if Lauren knew about this, she'd totally snub me!
Banishing all thoughts of that slut Bella, I got up again and the moose roared again.
"Mmmpff…" The horrified sound was coming from my mouth. My eyes felt like they were gonna pop out. I made a beeline for the door. As soon as the doorknob was in reach, I snatched it and with a lot of difficulty, managed to open it.
My thundering footsteps echoed in the house, and my heart couldn't stop beating like crazy. I managed to make it to Mom's room on time, and before the moose decided to pay a little visit into my mom's yuppie style house, I slipped into her room. After bolting it shut, I darted vis-à-vis Mom's bedside.
"Mom," I whispered, sweat beads trickling down my face. "Mom, come on here, wake up."
Mom just snorted in her sleep and tossed over. Oh, really great. I tried to remember anything that might be of interest to my very picky, opera-loving, slightly eccentric mom.
"Um…rhinestones," I said, frantically trying to wake her up. "Elvis Presley. Carlisle Cullen. Brad Pitt. Paris. The Palais Garnier. Soap operas. Cats. Marilyn Monroe. Gods, Mom-just-freaking-wake-up!"
Oh, great. She just slapped my hand away and called me a "snotty nosed prick". But she was probably calling someone [there is a very possible chance of that someone being 'Elvis Presley'] that in whatever crazy dream she was currently having. I know some people who tend to talk out aloud in their sleep and accidentally say some dirty names while at it.
God, help me out here.
"Mother!" I practically shrieked in her ear. "W-"
I trailed off as a very huge, gargantuan, massive, gigantic, horrific-sized shadow resembling that of a horse-sized moose appeared on the wall opposite the window. I just stood there, quivering in nothing but my pajamas.
"AAAIIEEEEEEE!" My scream burst out of my mouth in a huge expel of air.
"AARGH!" Someone else parroted my babyish scream. "What in the name of collant is going on here?"
I blinked and realized that the "someone" who had parroted my screams was Mom. Oh, hell... I had screamed in her ear!
Mom shot out of her bed like her butt was on fire, all the while clutching her ear. She swore loudly in both French and English. Oh. I didn't know she was part-French. But then, I never even knew she had a secret crush on Dr. Cullen since then.
"Jessica!" screeched Mom, still clinging onto her ear like a lifeline. Ooh. Poor ear, I bet it was thinking how mean its owner was to it now. Wait, did I really think that? The moose drama must be getting to me then!
As I was thinking these slightly crazy thoughts, Mom was admonishing me about screaming in her ear, especially when she was in the deep satin covers of sleep.
"…and how dare you wake me up in the night!" yelled Mom, her ear rapidly turning blue under her iron-grip. "Jessica Stanley, I have had enough of your crackpot tales!"
Crackpot tales? Excuse me?
"Mom!" I said. "I saw a moose! The same rabid moose I told you of today!"
"Rabid moose?" Mom laughed so hard, that I thought that she would probably rupture a spleen or something. "Oh please, Jessica!"
"Mom, I'm not lying!" I wailed. "I swear on my mascara, I am not lying!"
"There. Are. No. Such. Things. As. Rabid. Moose," growled Mom. "And frankly, I am sick of you and your little fantasizing imagination games. I thought you were above that by now. Go to sleep."
I looked back at the wall where I had seen the shadow on. It was still there, except it was moving its head about in a threatening manner. Uh-oh.
"M-mom…" I whimpered, eyes still fixed on the wall. "It-it is still there. The moose, I mean."
Mom looked at me, disbelieving. Then she looked at the wall where the phantom moose shadow was. I didn't dare to look out the window, for fear of encountering an actual moose thirsting for blood.
"Jessica!" My mother's furious voice crackled in the air, like a whip. "I cannot believe you! You should stop reading those pathetic excuses of books upstairs –they are obviously the main reason of your hallucinating! You are now grounded for a week. And, I will not tolerate any more of your little drama shows. Off to bed, now!"
Hallucinating? And since when did my books ever have horror mooses in them? All my books are in the romance section, but I don't think I'm gonna tell Mom this. I prefer her not to think of me as some …addict.
I glanced at the wall, but the shadow was not there. It was as if I had just imagined it all. No way. Nooooooooooooooo.
I opened my mouth to protest, but when a flash of lightning appeared again, I shut up. I had already suffered cartloads and shiploads of embarrassment and humiliation all in half an hour. Yippee. I just broke Mike Newton's [that male bigoted fart pig hybrid you see everyday slobbering over Bella Swan] own record. Hah, I bet Lauren would so get a kick out of this.
I peeked at the wall again, but it looked as if the moose had retired for its midnight siesta. It probably found some poor passerby and decided to gobble it up. I just hope it is Rosalie Hale or Alice Cullen or that foul girl Bella. I heard a growl outside, and the shivers returned to me. What if the moose was lying underneath the window, waiting for me to be alone so that it could kill me?
Nevertheless, after many tears and arguing with Mom, I ended up in my cold bed with a can of garlic and pepper spray, and a few onions that Mom had so kindly let me grab from the kitchen so that I could defend myself, should the moose dare to show up.
Time: The next day
Settings: In Jessica's car
I clutched the wheel, my heart hammering like crazy. Just then, a dog that looked like it had been hit with a baseball bat in the face ran right into the middle of the road. I screamed, and pressed on the brakes so hard, my stomach practically jumped out of my mouth. Eck, eck.
I looked through the windshield for the Mr. Stupid Mutt, but he was nowhere. I was starting to panic. My head was beginning to throb painfully. Sighing, I got out, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of the too small and ugly polka dot dress (courtesy of Mom) I was wearing under my coat. I looked under the car, for any mangled remains that could earn me a cell in the Prison for Girls Who Murdered Their Neighbors' Pups, or whatever the animal prison is called.
Something brown leapt out at me from under my car, taking me by surprise entirely. I let out a strangled scream (my voice was a bit down after all that screaming practice last night) and staggered back, fighting with the demon with slobber. When I managed to remove the demon, I realized it was that pathetic mutt from the City of Stupid Dogs Who Have No Brains And Cross Roads And Scare Poor Girls.
"You again?" I asked, scowling. The pug (yes, it was the dog with the squashed face) merely growled at me. It glared at me, and bared its teeth a little.
"Ginger!" a harsh wailing reached my eyes. "Oh, my poppet, where are you?"
I turned around, and spotted Mrs. Next Door hobbling towards me, using her spindly stick (that looked as it could snap at any moment) as a support. Upon seeing the pug in my hands, Mrs. Next Door's eyes popped out from behind their thick glasses.
"Oh, Ginger!" shrieked Mrs. Next Door, waving the stick at me like a whip. Really, do I look like a ginger? My hair is brown (that does not in any way, resemble Bella Swan's dull hair, thank you very much) and my eyes are blue!
"Erm…sorry?" I asked. The pug in my hands began to yap madly. Oh, it looks like it hates Mrs. Next Door.
"Ginger, my poppet!" screeched Mrs. Next Door, stopping in front of me. She held out her hands, and the pug in my hands leapt into them.
Oho! So that was Ginger, huh? The pug?
"Bad girl!" shouted Mrs. Next Door suddenly at me. "Bad, bad, bad girl! You stole my Ginger!"
"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. "I swear I didn't steal your pug! Honest!"
Unfortunately, Mrs. Next Door must have misheard me, for she began to scream at me.
"How dare you! My Ginger is not a pig! You called my poppet a-a "pig"! You stole my poppet! I'll have you at the police station!"
Before she decided to use me as hitting practice, I leapt into my car, and drove off.
Settings: Forks High School parking lot
When I reached the school parking lot, I was breathing heavily.
Needless to say, I had spent the entire night, cowering under my quilt and pillow, waiting for the cruel antlers of an insane moose to jab me at any moment.
In other words, that night wasn't a good night. In fact, it was the worst of all the worst nights I had ever had. Including that night when all my hair fell off overnight because the shampoo I had used that day turned out to be some lethal chemical acids, and I had to wear a sweaty wig as a result.
I had both good and bad things happen to me that night and this morning. The good was –the moose didn't make a surprise appearance (hopefully it had gone away then). The bad was –I woke up very late in the morning, had a bad hair day (which as a result, I now look like a porcupine), suffered the Look from Mom, spilled milk all over my hair and body because I was too sleepy to pay attention and I ended up in a ugly dress of Mom's because my milk had thoroughly drenched my blouse and skirt.
Oh, and the facts that I nearly ran over Mrs. Next Door's ugly pug Ginger with my car, and had been yelled at by barmy old Mrs. Next Door, did not help me.
I got out of the car really slowly and carefully (I will not use the word 'gingerly' because it reminds me too much of Mrs. Next Door, and I prefer to have that memory long forgotten).
I spotted Tyler and Mike at the latter's really crappy SUV. I ducked behind my car, hoping they hadn't seen me, but I was too late.
"Yo, there, Jess!" hollered Tyler, waving at me. Mike didn't meet my eye, probably because I had broken up with him last week, and had decided to go with Mark Newman then.
Since I was too late in hiding from them, I decided the best approach for me: talking to them. I got up and marched nonchalantly, trying to ignore the looks from Alice and Edward Cullen. My curiosity got the better of me, and I peeked at them from the corner of my eyes. I regretted that act instantly; because Alice Cullen was staring at my polka dot dress with a look of disgust and revulsion. Bella and Edward looked oddly smug, though I had utterly no idea why.
I looked away quickly, and walked faster. When Mike and Tyler caught sight of my ugly dress, their eyes bugged out.
"What the hell happened to you, Jessica?" exclaimed Tyler, staring at me with horror. Mike was now studiously reading his Biology textbook, even though it was upside down.
"I…uhm…had an accident," I said shiftily. Practically everyone was staring at me. Eck. A girl whose name I never bothered to know began to whisper to her friend who I recognized as Really Stupid Marcie. Some people kept giggling and pointing at me with their fingers. I glared at them till they had enough manners to look away.
Unfortunately, Tyler and Mike took it in the wrong way as only perverted guys can do so.
"Oh! So you had a …accident…on the way…in the car?" asked Tyler, looking disgusted. "Where'd you get the dress from? Your grandma?"
I glared at him. "No…"
"It's that time of the month, right?" asked Tyler eagerly. "I-"
"Well, I'm going now," interrupted Mike, who was now red like a tomato. "See ya later, Tyler…Jessica." He nodded at me before leaving. Oh really brilliant, Michael Newton.
I resisted the urge to flip the bird at Tyler, and settled for making a dirty face at him.
As I turned around, I saw more people laughing at me. I clenched my teeth. Pigheads, I thought. They would pay for it.
Sometime later, on the way to class, I spotted Alice, Edward and Bella staring at me with a hint of pity. Just then, Edward shook his head and said something to his little girlfriend.
I scowled at them and turned away. I would still have to find a way to get Edward to be my boyfriend…someday. I would see to that.
Character Point of View: Bella Swan
Settings: Forks High School
Time: Continuing from Jessica's POV
Alice and Edward were talking about whatever trouble Emmett had gotten into this time with Rosalie, when they suddenly stiffened. Then, both of them started snickering loudly.
"Jessica looks like she needs a tampon," commented Alice airily. "Sorely."
Even though I had a hint of why she would need one, I asked: "Why?"
Edward shook his head, and whispered to me: "I don't think you want to know."
But Alice turned to stare at me, golden eyes and all.
"Well, isn't it totally obvious? Jessica's entire backside is red. That's why everyone was staring at her in the parking lot."
A/N: Sorry, for the surprising ending, it just came to me. Review please?
More than 272 reviews = 1 more chapter
Thank you for reviewing my previous chapter!
I'll try to update when I'm ready. This chapter took lot of work for me.
P.S I posted this in a hurry so I'm sorry if there are any typos here!