Insert your own disclaimer joke here, kids! Just remember to use plenty of self-deprecating humor!

Rebuilding

Chapter 14: Caught at a Bad Time

The Smashers, still inside the castle, were huddled together discussing the current situation.

"So, it's good to see all of you again!" grinned Peach politely.

"Thank you!" "That's so sweet!" "Shut up!" came the generic responses.

"Alright, so Bowser and his friends could strike at any time," said Link dispassionately.

"Yes-a, and Yoshi's buzzed-a," nodded Mario, causing everyone to look over at the babbling Yoshi.

"How could things get any worse?" Donkey Kong wondered.

"Now, now, Donkey Kong!" smiled Pokemon Trainer. "You need to be more positive! Look on the bright side of life!"

"Mr. Link! WAAAAAAIT!" called a 'friendly' voice.

Link froze with fear.

"OH GOD THIS SUCKS!" cried Pokemon Trainer, jumping into a closet.

"W-what is it, post...guy?" asked Link.

"You have a package from Barnes!" grinned the postman creepily.

Everyone looked curiously at Link, who opened the package cautiously.

"Your Gale Boomerang?" asked Zelda quizzically as soon as Link withdrew the first item.

"Aw man, that thing sucks!" complained Link.

"Then give it to me!" requested Pit. "That would go with my wings!"

"N-no, it's mine," stammered Link feebly, wrenching the Gale Boomerang out of sight.

Link continued digging through Barnes' package.

"Hawkeye for increased bow range...more bombs..." muttered Link, pulling item after item out of the package.

"Lugging around all that gear can't be useful," scoffed Fox derisively.

"...Mr. Utility Belt?" asked Pikachu, unsure of what to say.

"Awesome, he sent my Clawshot!" cheered Link.

"So what makes it different from the Hookshot?" asked Kirby curiously.

"Well, it...come on dude, Clawshot sounds much cooler than Hookshot," replied Link.



"Yeah, it sounds more life threatening," agreed Zelda.

"You know, if you're so sociopathic, how come I have to save you from Ganondorf all the time?" asked Link suspiciously.

"Let's just say the Master Sword's not supposed to be yours, forest boy," replied Zelda scathingly.

Link burst into tears.

Being lightweight Smashers had disadvantages sometimes. You get killed in fights more easily; you get sent the furthest away from everybody else during molecular separation...

Mr. Game and Watch groggily stood up, and looked at his surroundings.

Tall trees, tall grass, short inhabitants. The inhabitants kind of looked like one of the Pokemon in the balls last tournament, thought Mr. Game and Watch. Same eyes, same blue skin, same stupid saluting habit. But they looked more like little kids.

Mr. Game and Watch looked around for any other Smashers, and groaned when he saw his only company.

It was Jigglypuff.

"Hello, anyone?" called Mr. Game and Watch, ignoring Jigglypuff and all of the other Pokemon. "Can anyone hear me? Can I hear anyone? Anyone? No? Damn it all!"

Mr. Game and Watch walked over to the unconscious Jigglypuff, and kicked her a few times in the gut.

"You, Jigglything, wake up," demanded Mr. Game and Watch. "None of the others are here, we all got separated."

Jigglypuff woke up sharply, and without warning, leapt to her feet. Mr. Game and Watch backed away in horror.

"You can talk?!" gasped Jigglypuff loudly.

"...yeah, I just learned how," sighed Mr. Game and Watch sarcastically. "Why don't we try to find out where we are?"

"I know exactly where we are!" grinned Jigglypuff. "We're in Mirage Island in Hoenn! Only Wynauts live here! They're baby Wobbuffets!"

"Let me guess, that's the extent of your knowledge?" asked Mr. Game and Watch coldly.

"Look! One of the Wynauts is sleeping!" grinned Jigglypuff.

"What?" asked Mr. Game and Watch, looking up at the bright blue sky. He checked the Wynaut, and looked at Jigglypuff sadly. "It's not sleeping Jig, it's dead. Thing probably got killed by whatever's targeting us and the rest of the Smash Brothers."

Jigglypuff looked around, seeing more dead Wynauts.

"Look! More sleeping babies!" cooed Jigglypuff cutely. "It's their nap time! But some of them spilled their Kool-Aid!"



Jigglypuff tasted some of the 'Kool-Aid' that was flowing from the nearest Wynaut.

"Ew that tastes weird!" shuddered Jigglypuff. "Decent aftertaste, though!"

"Just what happened here?" asked Mr. Game and Watch sharply. "Are any of the things alive? Are there any alive Pokemon on this damn island?!"

Jigglypuff raised her hand.

Mr. Game and Watch was just about to punch Jigglypuff, when he heard robotic whirring.

"Jigs, does that sound like any Pokemon who won't kill us?" asked Mr. Game and Watch nervously.

"Um...I don't think so!" panicked Jigglypuff.

A horde of Primids were slowly making their way towards Mr. Game and Watch, Jigglypuff, and the army of Wynaut survivors led by a sole Wobbuffet marching in from the other direction.

"...Running time!" declared Jigglypuff.

"Hey, there's still something-a left in the box-a, Link!" said Mario, pouring the last item from the box onto the ground.

"'ey, mac, try not spillin' the thing," pouted a small monkey wearing a baseball cap. (the cap that the author is currently wearing, chyeah, I bet you're jealous)

"Diddy?" asked DK.

"Yeah mac, I got your Diddy Kong right here," replied Diddy Kong, chomping a piece of wheat. "So this is your Super Smash Brothers, huh?"

Squirtle suddenly burst out of his Pokeball and confronted Diddy.

"What you got fool, what you got, huh?" asked Squirtle tensely, jumping around Diddy.

"Easy mac, I ain't here to hurt nobody," said Diddy defensively. "I'm heres to be one of thems new Smashers,"

Squirtle looked at Diddy appraisingly.

"I builds my own weapons, see?" asked Diddy, brandishing his popgun.

"So your personality gimmick is that you're a 50s style mechanic?" chuckled Ike mockingly. "That's really lame!"

"Listen mac, I don't see you having an interesting personality eithers," argued Diddy Kong.

"Oh, uh, I'm the one who gets all the hot babes," grinned Ike, indicating Samus, Zelda, Peach, and a mirror.

"I could always beat you up again," said Samus casually.

"Kill kill kill kill die die die," said Zelda casually.

"I've never even spoken to you yet, Mr. Ike!" smiled Peach. "But I don't think I want to!"



Diddy smirked, and Ike burst into tears.

"Oh god!" cried Yoshi suddenly, without warning. "I'm coming down!"

Yoshi's pupils returned to normal, and he vomited some weird gray stuff onto the floor of Ike's castle.

"Ugh..." groaned Yoshi. "I shouldn't have ate all that stuff in the boxes after I found those stickers..."

"So you ate all my Smash Balls?" asked Ike, drying his eyes.

"Yeah, why, is that a bad thi-" started Yoshi, but he began screaming in pain.

Wings erupted from Yoshi's back.

"Great!" complained Kirby. "He ate all the Smash Balls! Now I'll never get a Final Smash!"

"Don't worry Mr. Kirby, you can share a move with me!" grinned Peach, patting Kirby.

"Don't you talk to me!" snapped Kirby.

"'ey, mac, what's this Final Smash jarble?" asked Diddy Kong, looking at Yoshi confused.

"Yes, I believe I was not told either," agreed Pokemon Trainer.

"Ultimate move, nothing fancy," replied Link.

"Nothing fancy?!" asked Kirby, slapping Link.

"I feel weird again!" cried Yoshi, coughing out a stream of fire.

Samus' Thermal Visor exploded.

"Damn, this must be some powerful fire," muttered Samus.

"Run!" cried Link, throwing Mario at the door in an effort to escape.

"Don't worry, the glory of Dr. Wright will save us!" chuckled Pikachu, not moving.

Yoshi burned down a stack of Assist Trophies.

"D'aww," lamented Pikachu.

"Mr. Yoshi, please, this is no way to behave!" reprimanded Peach.

Yoshi flew around spewing fireballs, all the while shrieking incomprehensibly.

Pikachu clasped his hands together in prayer.

"Our father, Dr. Wright, I beg of you, save us from this tyrannical dinosaur, and we shalt be eternally in thy debt," prayed Pikachu.

Yoshi's Final Smash ran out, and he fell out of the window, breaking both legs.

"All hail the good Doc!" cheered Pikachu.

Mr. Game and Watch and Jigglypuff stood back to back, Mr. Game and Watch facing the Primids, and Jigglypuff facing the surviving Pokemon in the clearing of Mirage Island.

"What's happening here?" wondered Mr. Game and Watch aloud.

"I think that the Wynauts are going to the fight the other things," replied Jigglypuff helpfully.

"That was rhetorical," snapped Mr. Game and Watch. "Now cover me, I'm going into the crowd of the grey robot things to see if I can find out anything,"

Jigglypuff nodded, and jumped on Mr. Game and Watch's head.

"Don't physically cover me, dammit!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch. "I need you to defend me while I get into the crowd!"

"Those grey things are very angry," said Jigglypuff fearfully. "I don't think they'll let you in the crowd!"

"I know," replied Mr. Game and Watch through gritted teeth. "I need you to help me get in safely,"

"I don't think they'll let me in either," panicked Jigglypuff.

"That tears it, come here!" bellowed Mr. Game and Watch, picking up Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff squealed, and Mr. Game and Watch threw her into the crowd of Primids.

One of the Primids was talking to the Primid next to him.

"I'm gonna kill me one of these Wynauts, and I'm gonna eat him. Right in front of everyone!" declared the Primid.

Jigglypuff's considerably wide eyes widened.

"Whoa," whoaed Jigglypuff.

Mr. Game and Watch sidestepped through the crowd, using his wafer-thin appearance to his advantage.

"What are they talking about?" whispered Mr. Game and Watch urgently.

"...Wynauts," replied Jigglypuff hesitantly.

"And? What about them?" asked Mr. Game and Watch.

"Kill the Wynauts! Kill the Wynauts! Kill the Wynauts!" chanted all the Primids suddenly.

"Guess," gulped Jigglypuff.

"Well," admitted Mr. Game and Watch. "I've got a bad feeling about this place."

Suddenly, all the Primids surrounding Mr. Game and Watch and Jigglypuff charged forwards, screaming. The Wobbuffet let out a battle cry, saluted, and charged towards the Primids, the Wynauts following suit.

"We've got to get out of here!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch, grabbing Jigglypuff's hand and running through the no-man's land between Primids and Pokemon.



The Smashers in Ike's castle were repairing all of the damage Yoshi caused while in his Super Dragon form.

"Any lasting damage?" asked Ike, entering the room carrying Yoshi in a fireman's lift.

"Nah, most of us are shaken up but otherwise unhurt," replied Link. "Kirby's unconscious again, though,"

"I wonder if Kirby'll have any insane dreams, huh Mario?" chuckled Fox.

"My-a dream was-a real!" shouted Mario.

Everyone laughed at him, then turned to study Kirby carefully.

Kirby woke up in a stadium.

"Anyone here?" asked Kirby. "Mario? Link? The rest?"

"Mr. Kirby! Help us!" cried a woman's voice.

"I can't kill this guy!" grunted a second, different female voice.

Kirby looked around for the source of the voices, and his jaw dropped when he found it.

A large, plant-like monster wearing a spotted pair of underwear was snarling down at Kirby, a metal cage in each hand. In one hand, the monster held Peach, the other, Zelda.

"Well, you're huge!" smiled Kirby. "Can I get those cages back?"

Kirby checked the nametag on the underwear.

"Please, Mr. Petey Pirahna?"

Petey roared, and rattled the cages mockingly at Kirby. Peach and Zelda screamed.

"Dude, stop that!" shouted Kirby. "You're gonna hurt them!"

Petey snarled.

"What are you doing?" demanded Kirby. "Answer me!"

Petey slammed Zelda's cage into Kirby, knocking the puffball away.

"Ow!" complained Kirby. "The hell was that for, huh?"

Kirby ran up and kicked Petey Pirahna in the shin. The kick did nothing.

"Ugh, dammit," moaned Kirby.

Petey threw Zelda's cage at Kirby, shattering the cage into pieces before flying away with Peach's cage.

"Well, at least I saved you, Zelda!" grinned Kirby, rubbing his wounds.

"Yes, thank you Kirby, that was very sweet of you!" smiled Zelda.

"So I'll accept payment in the form of cash, cheque, or sex," smirked Kirby slyly.

Zelda slapped Kirby.

Zelda slapped Kirby.

"Wake up!" called Zelda.

Kirby stirred.

Zelda punched Kirby.

"Wake up!" called Zelda.

Kirby woke up.

Zelda threw Kirby against the wall.

"I'm awake!" protested Kirby.

"I know," replied Zelda.

"So, I had the weirdest dream..." began Kirby. He recounted the events of his dream to everyone.

"A stadium-a?!" asked Mario. "I think-a you might have had-a the same dream as-a me!"

Fox made a 'dun dun dun' noise.

Kirby stared blankly at Mario before replying, "Aw crap,"

So Diddy Kong has arrived, G&W and Jigglypuff have encountered a warzone, Yoshi went from drugs to violence, and Kirby had a continuation of Mario's Subspace dream!

An eventful chapter, no?

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