Um...did I say two-shot? Okay, when I said that, I didn't realize how long the second chapter was. No way am I giving you that much at once! I had to make a choice to either be less verbose and cut it way back, or make this thing into a three-shot. Consider it a trilogy-type thingy? Three's supposed to be a lucky number, isn't it? Ah, well.
One more thing: This story is more fairy tale than my others. There's realism in ACAP (and Lullaby, too, when we get there) to reactions to abuse/rape/etc. This one's just going for a good ol' happy ending. The...err, anatomy lesson, so to speak, is correct enough, but Edward's exam and diagnosis are more or less crap from my head.
All standard disclaimers apply. No quoting from Beagle in this chapter. Huge thanks to Hev99 for showing me the workaround for the posting bug!
Midnight Carnival
Three large deer and an adolescent black bear later, Edward paused beneath a tree. His stomach sloshed when he ran, but he still felt weak. It would take time to restore what had been lost. But for now he felt sated, and he turned back to where he had left Bella.
She was still there, sitting under a tree and shivering lightly. The night was muggy, but not as warm as it had been. Even in his long-sleeved shirt, she was probably cold sitting on the damp ground. Her face lit up when she saw him, and she tried to struggle to her feet.
"You came back," she said.
Edward caught her arms carefully and helped her stand. "Of course I came back." He touched her unbruised cheek and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I said I would."
She bit her lip as she gazed up at him, and the wistfulness in her dark eyes was too much. Edward stepped forward a little and slid his arms carefully around her, holding her waist gently. She was still shaking, and he couldn't tell if it was with cold or nerves. "You didn't have to."
"Little one, you've done so much for me. You're mine to take care of now, and I am going to do my best."
She nodded slightly, still unsure. Edward sighed and tightened his arms, pulling her against his chest. Bella did not resist, and she seemed to relax once they were more fully in contact. She turned her head and rested her cheek against his bare chest, one hand around his waist and the other resting on his arm. "I can hear your stomach gurgling," she murmured.
"It's happy and fed. Shall we make yours gurgle, too?" Edward rubbed his chin against her hair before sweeping her up in his arms again. She still smelled amazing, but he was much better able to control himself now that he was full.
"I can walk," Bella protested, but not very strongly.
"I saw how you limped around. You're hurt, and I don't want you using that leg any more than necessary until I can take a look at it."
"Medical school?"
"Medical school," he confirmed with a grin. "Besides, I'm faster than you."
An hour later they paused near a suburb. Edward knew suburbs when he heard them - big SUVs, lots of kids and strip malls. They had a different sound and feel than real cities, but right now he was perfectly happy with a suburb. They tended to rise later than urban areas, and dawn was just now breaking over the tops of the trees. The fewer people who saw him and Bella, the better. Questions were one thing he did not need right now.
While the streets were still steeped in shadow, Edward took his shirt back and hurried Bella to a 24-hour Western Union office. "Let me do the talking," he said quietly. She was an obliging creature, and he had no fear that she would object. "James took my money and ID, and I wasn't exactly going to go searching through the RV to get it back. I need to call home and have them wire us enough to live on for now, and we need to be done before the sun fully rises."
"Oh!" Bella's eyes opened wide. "Will it hurt you? I didn't think - "
"No," he said, smiling at her concern. "It doesn't hurt, but it will certainly draw attention and that's the last thing we need."
At that point they were opening the door of the office, and Edward ushered Bella in front of him. She blushed, and he wondered if anyone had ever shown her little kindnesses like holding a door for her. No matter; he was going to do so at every opportunity from now on.
"Hello," he greeted the bored-looking man behind the counter. "We were hiking in the forest, and when we got back to the trailhead our car had disappeared, along with our money, cell phones - everything. I'm looking to call my family and have some money wired to us."
"No problem," the man said, but as he pointed out the courtesy phone to Edward his eyes lingered on Bella. Edward bit back a growl and gently pulled her under his arm. She came willingly, nestling against him. Hopefully that would be enough to show this clerk what was what.
Edward called Alice first, hoping she would have seen something useful. She answered on the first ring, and just the sound of her trilling voice set him at ease. The stress of his ordeal had almost made him forget how much he missed his family.
"Edward!" she shrieked happily. "I've been waiting and waiting for your call. We would have come to rescue you, but there weren't any landmarks or anything I could use to pinpoint your location. I'm so glad you got out all right! When I saw that werewolf, I was afraid! Then everything went hazy for a while. But I saw you hunting, so I knew you'd managed to get out all right. Now, where are you and how much do you need?"
"Uh..." Edward glanced around. He really had no idea where they were. For all he knew, they could have easily crossed a state line by this point.
The man behind the counter slid a business card over to him, and Edward relaxed. They were still in Missouri, in a suburb of Springfield. He gave Alice the Western Union branch number.
"Is Bella still with you? Should I send enough for both of you?"
"Please," he said. "And I think we'll be staying in the area for a little while, heading back slowly. She's hurt and I don't want to push anything."
"Fine." Alice sighed. "But I really want to meet her!"
"You will," Edward said, hiding a smile as Bella glanced up at him curiously. "You will."
"Well, I'll call our local Western Union as soon as you hang up. But then I'm going to Seattle and getting a big bed to put in your room!"
"Alice - " Edward tried to warn her, but she hung up before he could say anything more. He shook his head resignedly as he hung up the phone and waited for his money to come through.
Fifteen minutes later he was holding a hefty wad of cash and thanking the clerk. The shadows along the streets were getting smaller, and he hurried Bella along toward a nice chain hotel he'd found in the phone book. It was only a few blocks away, but even so they barely made it inside the lobby before the shadows shrank too small to hide him any longer.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Edward stepped to the desk and requested a room with two beds for several nights. The concierge graciously ignored their frazzled appearances and within minutes they were riding an elevator up to the fifth floor.
"I can't believe it," Bella whispered, though they were the only ones in the elevator. "Just a few hours ago I was in James' RV and now..."
"I know," Edward said, rubbing her shoulder in a way he hoped was comforting. "But all that's over now, little one. He's gone, Victoria's gone, and you never have to go back there again. You're free."
"Free..." Bella said, rolling the word around in her mouth. "It sounds so strange. But what happens now?"
"Hush." The elevator doors opened, and Edward led her down the richly carpeted hall to their room. He opened the door and held it for her. After a moment, Bella hesitantly stepped inside.
The room was clean and pleasant enough. Soft carpet muffled their footsteps, and there were two queen beds, just as requested. The heavy daylight-blocking curtains were drawn back, but there were thin white curtains obstructing the view. There was a little sitting area with a sofa and a table, and two small bedside dressers with matching lamps and the requisite alarm clock. An entertainment center held a good-sized TV. Everything was very clean and warm and pleasant.
"There's no need to worry right now," Edward said quietly as Bella gazed around her with big, wondering eyes. "I won't abandon you, little one, I promise you that."
"You don't even know me," she murmured, looking back at him.
"No?" Edward stepped toward her and let the door close behind him. He took her hand in his, already craving the simple touch of her skin against him. "I know that you're a strong, sweet young woman who's had a tough time. I know you deserved none of the horrible things James and Victoria did to you. I know you're afraid of werewolves - and rightly so. I know you are courageous beyond belief, and I am forever grateful for your kindness and your caring."
She shook her head a little, at a loss, and inhaled shakily. "I don't know what to say."
"Nothing is necessary. Right now, this is what we're going to do. You are marching yourself into that bathroom, and you are going to take the longest bath or shower of your life. When you're done, you put this on," he said, handing her a folded hotel robe. "I'll order you the entire room service menu, and you'll eat and sleep. When you feel better I'll examine your wounds, and then we'll decide what to do. This is as good a place as any to recuperate for a while. The forest isn't far, so I can hunt easily. We can get cell phones and clothes and anything else we need, and then decide what to do from there."
"What about your family?" Bella asked hesitantly. "Won't they be missing you?"
"Hush now," Edward said, touching a finger to her soft lips. "No more questions until you're clean and fed. Deal?"
She nodded, and pressed an impulsive kiss to his hand before darting into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
Edward gazed after her for a while, a small smile on his face. She was right - there were many things they still had to discuss. But for now he wanted her to have time to rest, time to relax. He wondered how long it had been since she had a real roof over her head, something more permanent than the flimsy, black-painted RV. She'd seemed in awe of the hotel, her big eyes taking in everything as if it were new. Could it really have been so long since she'd last had a taste of comfort?
Edward opened the room service menu and perused it, taking note of their offerings. He hadn't really meant it when he said he'd order the whole thing. He remembered all too well the awful scratchy sound of Bella's voice when she screamed and cried just a few days ago. In her condition, so undernourished and thin, she'd likely take longer than normal to heal. Her throat was probably still hurting, and he looked for foods that would be soft and easy to eat - nothing too spicy or acidic or crispy. He was about to pick up the phone and order when he heard a soft whimper from the bathroom.
The water had shut off a minute ago, and he could hear the gentle sloshing sound that meant Bella was sitting in a bath. He hoped it was pleasant for her - he himself didn't care much for baths. The temperature of his skin cooled the water too quickly for it to be of any real use. Showers were better, with the constant replenishing of hot water.
Another whimper, and through the closed door Edward could hear the girl's heartbeat racing. Cautiously, wondering whether he should just leave her alone, he crossed the room and knocked softly.
"Bella?" he asked hesitantly, trying to keep his voice calm. "Is everything all right?"
"No!" Her voice was high and panicky, and that was all Edward needed. He pushed the door open, steeling himself for what he might find.
The smell of blood assaulted him immediately, and he was very, very glad that he had glutted himself so recently. The swirling steam in the bathroom seemed to caress him with her potent scent, and he had to stop breathing to center himself.
She looked up at him with big, frightened eyes, and he didn't have to ask why. Blood had pooled in the water, coloring it deep crimson, almost black, then fanning out in slow, spinning tendrils of rose.
"It hurts," she said, her voice tight with fear and pain, and she wrapped an arm around her lower abdomen. She was breathing in short little pants, and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly.
"Oh, god." Edward leaned down and scooped her tense body up into his arms. He carried her to one of the beds and lay her down carefully, tucking the terrycloth robe and towels around her. She was shivering now, out of the heated water, but he tried to ignore the fine trembling of her limbs as he pulled his medical mask in place to assess the damage. "Did this just start?" he asked, trying to keep his voice low and calm. "When did you notice the pain?"
She laughed and Edward took a careful look at her face, hoping she wasn't becoming hysterical. "It never stops hurting," she said, wiping sweat from her forehead with a bent arm. She shivered a little harder, but did not complain about the temperature in the room.
Edward moved from her toes upward, trying to check the damage to her thin frame with just his eyes. She had bruises of varying size and color spotted along most of her body, but he had expected that. The knee she'd been favoring was slightly swollen, but it didn't look serious enough to be a break. She had scratches and abrasions from the stick James had used to beat her, and he didn't like the look of her self-inflicted wound. It was red and inflamed, and the edges did not seem to want to knit back together.
And, as he'd feared when he found her, the blood was clearly coming from between her legs. He closed his eyes tightly for a long moment, then opened them again.
"Little one, I have to go downstairs to the hotel store to find a first-aid kit," he said, brushing his hand through her hair. "I'll turn the heat up, and be back as soon as I can."
She shook her head furiously and tried to hold his sleeve, but her small human strength was no match for him. He gently pried her hand loose and leaned over, brushing his lips across her damp forehead. "Just for a minute, Bella. I'll be right back, I promise."
Without waiting for her to answer, nervous that the sight of her terrified dark eyes would break him, Edward darted out the door. There was no one in the hall, and he took the stairs at vampire speed rather than wait for the elevator.
Next to the lobby on the ground floor was a small store - ostensibly a gift shop, but it catered to the needs of travelers reasonably well. Edward found a first-aid kit, some flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt that he hoped were at least close to Bella's size, and a bottle of combination pain reliever/fever reducer. There was probably some aspirin in the first-aid kit, but he wanted to make sure Bella had plenty. He paused before adding a small bottle of KY to the rest of his haul, wishing he didn't need it but wanting to be prepared for all contingencies. If he needed to do an internal exam, lubrication was a must.
The bored woman behind the counter didn't even blink as she charged everything to the room without really looking at it, and Edward hurried back to Bella as quickly as he could.
She was lying quietly where he left her on the bed, only the heaving of her torso belying how frightened she was.
"There's my girl," Edward said as he closed and locked the door behind them. He dumped everything on the bed and pulled a chair over from the little sitting area. "Bella, I'm going to ask you a few questions." He pulled a thermometer out of the first-aid kit, broke the sterile seal, and held it up to her mouth. She obligingly set it under her tongue and closed her lips around the glass tubing. "Your answers will decide whether we can try to treat you here or not. Or would you rather just go to a hospital?"
She shook her head, grimacing around the thermometer in her mouth. "Please," she mumbled. "I saw w-what's hurt. Don't want strangers..."
"Okay. Okay." He put a hand on her shoulder to keep her still. "I'll do my best to keep you out of the hospital, then." Edward found the ubiquitous little pad of paper and ballpoint pen that always seemed to reside in hotel rooms. "Don't talk with the thermometer in your mouth. Write down your answers if you need to do more than nod or shake your head."
She took the items, her hands only shaking slightly, and nodded.
"Good girl. Now, you said you could tell where the blood was coming from."
It wasn't quite a question, but Bella nodded anyway.
"Has this ever happened before?"
She nodded again, and scribbled on the pad of paper. Not this bad, Edward read.
"Bella, I have to ask. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"
She shook her head. On birth control. James insisted.
At least he had done one thing for her, Edward thought sourly. "Well, then this isn't a miscarriage," he said out loud. "Do you have painful or heavy periods?" In extreme cases, passing a large blood clot could result in fever, intense pain, and a buildup of blood and fluids that then released quickly behind the clot.
Another shake of the head. None at all.
Whether that was because of malnourishment or birth control, Edward didn't press. Either way, it didn't really matter. He exhaled and dropped his head, knowing that the bleeding was likely from the brutal rape she'd suffered at the hands of James a few days ago. Clearly the time she'd spent inside the RV had not been long enough to heal all of the internal damage he'd done, and her subsequent movement had reopened any healing wounds.
"Little one," he said quietly, "why didn't you tell me it hurt so much?" Edward now felt immensely guilty that he'd hurried her along the streets of the waking town. They could have waited in the forest until dusk, when they could move about at leisure. He cursed himself bitterly in his head.
A warm hand on his cheek made him open his eyes, and Edward saw her looking at him calmly. We had to get inside where you would be safe. There was no accusation in her words or on her lovely face. He felt his heart constrict painfully, and he pressed his forehead against her upturned knee.
Bella made a small, wondering, catlike sound, and Edward raised his head quickly. He took the thermometer from her mouth and she smiled - she actually smiled. "Feels good," she said quietly, her cheeks turning rosy as she blushed.
"I'm sure the cold does feel good." Edward grimaced at the thermometer. She had a fever, though it wasn't high enough to rush her to the hospital. The temperature of his skin probably did feel good against her unnaturally warm flesh. He put his hand on her knee, tracing the thin white lines of old scars with his thumb. "I'm so, so sorry I rushed you," he said quietly. "I knew you were hurt. We could have waited until sundown."
She reached up a shaky hand and touched his cheek. "I didn't know this would happen," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for." Edward squeezed her knee gently.
"Am I going to be okay?"
He nodded. "I think so. You're not bleeding much anymore. I think the angle of your body and the hot water of the tub combined to release the blood from the re-opening of the ruptures." Edward struggled to put himself back in medical-mode, but it was difficult. This wasn't just some random test subject from med school. This was Bella. This girl had saved his life - if life is what he had - and had never treated him as anything but an equal. Not an animal. Not a monster. Now she was hurt, at least partially because of him, and all he wanted to do was take the pain away. He didn't want to have to explain to her the likely reasons behind why she had bled so badly. He just wanted to make the hurting stop...for both of them.
"You see...I know..." He exhaled in frustration, tugging a hand through his hair. "Look, you can't think of your vagina as a hole or a tunnel. That's not really true." Edward continued to rub her knee as he watched her face flame, hoping she found the touch soothing. She refused to look at him, and she was growing redder by the second. This wasn't comfortable for him, either, but he was resolved to continue. "When not aroused, the walls of your vagina lie...well, flat, I guess, is how you'd say it. There is no opening, as it were. Blood can get trapped, therefore, which is what I think happened to you. The hot water and angle of your body relaxed your pelvic muscles enough to let the blood flow."
She was still red, and Edward hesitantly moved his other hand to cup her cheek. She nestled into the cold touch gratefully. "So I'm still bleeding?" she stammered.
"Not much." Edward could smell that much without looking.
"When will it stop?"
"That all depends." He hesitated. "It would help to know how badly you've been hurt."
"You already looked," she mumbled, turning her head further into his cold hand.
"Not closely, and not inside."
She went completely still, and Edward knew she was not happy about the suggestion. He wasn't terribly happy about it, either. She had been so badly used for so long that the thought of anyone touching between her legs was likely intensely frightening to her. Edward didn't want to cause her any unnecessary pain - he hated the idea of possibly making her cry. But an internal exam would let him know how badly she was hurt, and where. Lacerations to her inner walls would heal, but damage to her cervix was more troubling.
"I know you've been hurt, little one," Edward said, trying to keep his voice steady. He didn't want to make her even more nervous by showing his own anxiety. "I know you probably want to just wrap yourself up tightly and never let anyone else touch you again. You've been so brave, here with me, and I won't make you do this. I couldn't. It's completely up to you. Believe me, I don't want to be doing this any more than you do."
She opened her eyes, her expression troubled and curious. Edward wanted to take his thumb and smooth away the frown between her eyes, but he restrained himself. "Y-you don't want to touch me?" Her voice was no more than a whisper.
"I don't..." Edward removed the hand on her knee and tugged on his hair again in frustration. She deserved the whole truth, but working that out into words would be difficult. "I...god, Bella, you're gorgeous. You have to know that. I love the feel of your skin - it's softer than silk, and so warm... But being beautiful hasn't done you any favors in your life, and I understand that. James might still have abused you if you were plain, simply because you were young and vulnerable and he was a monster. But I doubt he would have cared quite so much, or felt so possessive. Without your looks, it's possible you could have managed to get away. So I understand how you must feel about that."
Edward took an unneeded breath, carefully watching her face. She was looking at him, which made this infinitely more difficult. Her big, pretty eyes had seen so much, and yet they looked so innocent as she gazed at him. "But your question is a difficult one for me to answer, sweet girl. You're badly hurt, and while that might be a turn-on for a sadistic creep like James, it isn't for me. I may be a monster, but I'm not a monster like him. Yes, I want to touch you. I want to wrap you up tight in my arms and keep you safe forever. But I have no wish to invade your physical privacy, and you have no idea how much I wish we didn't have to even discuss this."
"I think I do," she said quietly, and when Edward looked at her again her bottom lip was tucked under her upper teeth again. "You don't blush, but I can see how uncomfortable this makes you. Almost as uncomfortable as it makes me." She paused, and while she did not look happy about it, she nodded slightly. "Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "You can...check. But...please...be gentle?"
"Of course," he murmured, knowing he could not do otherwise. Not with this precious girl and her fragile trust. "Just a moment. I'm going to wash my hands. Do you want me to turn the heat up in the room? I know my skin is cold."
She shook her head, lip once again between her teeth, and he knew that she just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. So did he. He washed his hands thoroughly in the bathroom and returned to her, wishing there was a way to keep the area more sterile. There wasn't much he could do about that, though. She was lying on clean towels at least, and not the questionable top of a hotel bedspread.
"All right, little one. I'll be as quick as possible. Can you bring your knees up, feet flat on the bed?"
She complied, and Edward knelt on the floor at the end of the bed. He wished he had a little pen light or something similar, but at least with his vampire sight he could see more than a human doctor would. She was bare - shaved or waxed, he didn't know. It made it easier to see any damage done to her outer anatomy, but it also unfortunately made it easier to inflict said damage. Pubic hair was there for a reason - protection.
Edward opened the bottle of lube and smoothed a generous amount on his fingers. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but now he was at least glad that he was prepared. He wanted this to be as painless as possible for her.
"I'm going to touch you now, Bella," he said, trying to keep his voice low and even. "This will feel cold. I'm sorry; there's nothing I can do about that."
She tensed, as he knew she would. He touched her gently, sliding the back of his hand against her inner thigh so she knew where he was before he put his lubricated fingers on her labia. She was tense and trembling, and he fervently wished this wasn't necessary but there wasn't much he could do now but try to get it over with as quickly and gently as possible.
She had a small tear to her perineum, which he had more or less expected. It wasn't bad enough to warrant stitching; he was fairly sure it would heal on its own in time. She would forever be susceptible to re-tearing, but the only two things that could do that were rough sex and childbirth. The first, Edward knew, he would never, never allow. No matter what happened or what she chose to do once she was healed - whether she came to stay with his family or not - he knew he was not capable of allowing that sort of thing to ever happen to her again. Likely she felt the same, so he hoped it wouldn't be a problem. And the second? Well, she was young, and Edward had plenty of time to worry about how he'd feel if she fell in love with a human and wanted babies later.
She was slowly relaxing under his gentle touch; he could feel as her taut muscles softened and stopped trembling. Edward was glad of that, and he rubbed his lubed fingers slowly along her folds, feeling for the small tears in her swollen, abused tissue that he knew were there. His sensitive fingers found a few - less than he would have expected. He applied more lube to his fingers and rubbed one slowly around her entrance, knowing the difficult part was yet to come. "Okay, little one, I need you to try to relax for me," he said, placing his free hand on her lower abdomen, pressing down gently. "You're doing so well. Just a little more and we'll be done, I promise."
She tried to relax; he knew she tried. But years of abuse had primed her to expect pain, and she just couldn't do it. Edward didn't blame her. He waited a little longer, massaging her entrance softly, before pressing forward with just the tip of one finger. She sucked in a deep breath, but otherwise remained quiet.
"I'm being as gentle as I can," he murmured. "I'm sorry we have to do this at all, believe me." With his free hand he rubbed her knee gently, trying to soothe her. "Would it help if I talked to you about what I'm doing?"
She exhaled slowly and nodded a little, staring up at the ceiling.
"Okay. Try to relax your muscles where you feel me inside you. I know it's difficult, sweet girl. Believe me - I can't truly understand, but I can imagine how much you don't want to be doing this. Now, the ring of muscle just at the entrance of your vagina is the strongest. As I move further, it should be a little less uncomfortable. You tell me if it hurts too much, and I'll stop."
Bella was breathing slow and deep, intentionally trying to keep herself calm Edward hoped. He pushed forward a little farther, and just as he had hoped, her muscles began to slowly relax around his finger. She was still exceptionally tight, gripping with her warmth. Slowly he took his free hand and pressed gently on her abdomen while his finger was inside her, testing for tender or swollen spots that might indicate a more serious issue. She didn't flinch, and Edward let out his own breath.
"Good girl," he murmured. "Just a little more now. I need to move inside you - just a little bit - to feel for any internal tears or abrasions. I've lubricated well, so this shouldn't hurt. If it does, please tell me." He tried to keep repeating to her that it was important to tell him what hurt and what didn't. He didn't think she was secure enough to tell him on her own.
"Feels...good," she whispered, red creeping from her face all the way down her chest.
Edward stared. Had he actually heard her correctly? "The cold?" He'd assumed the temperature of his finger inside her would only make the experience more unpleasant, but she was nodding slightly.
"Cold...wet..." She blushed even redder. "Sometimes, after James would..." She swallowed hard. "I would use ice. It made it feel better."
Well, that made a little more sense. Ice would bring down the swelling and help numb the tissue. If this nerve-rich part of her body could stand the feeling, it would certainly help. Her comment about "wet" was a little more troubling.
"Bella, little one, did James or Victoria ever use lubrication when they raped you?"
She frowned, but still refused to look at him. "I don't know what you mean."
Edward applied some KY to his free hand. It was difficult to do one-handed, but he managed. He reached up carefully and rubbed his slick fingertips against hers, letting her feel the texture of the product. "Lubrication," he repeated. "Something to smooth the way, as it were."
She brought her hand close to her face and smoothed her fingers against each other, intrigued. "No," she said quietly. "Nothing like this. Sometimes James made me put his...thing...in my mouth, though. That's wet."
"That's beside the point," Edward said tightly. He began moving his finger within her slowly, as slowly as he could, feeling the texture of her inner walls with his heightened sense of touch. It was fairly clear to him that James had not cared to prepare Bella's body properly for intercourse. She should feel smooth inside, for the most part, but he felt ridges of scar tissue as well as new tears. Why James had done this, he couldn't say. Not many men preferred dry sex, he didn't think. But if James' intent was to cause as much pain as possible, this would certainly have done it.
Bella's breathing hitched, and something...changed. Edward couldn't say right away what it was, but then he felt a small, rolling quiver run through her muscles. She was blinking rapidly, and suddenly she tilted her head, her dark, confused eyes meeting his. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice slightly panicked.
At first Edward didn't know how to answer her, but then he moved his finger again, pushing in a little deeper, and found the softer, slightly swollen tissue of her G-spot. A purely involuntary little noise slipped from Bella's throat, and she sucked in another breath, her face still flaming. "What...are you doing to me?" she whispered.
Then Edward scented it - the change in Bella's sweet, tantalizing smell. It grew stronger, richer, imperceptibly smoother. He felt it, too, as her muscles relaxed a little more, almost hesitantly, and the first small drops of Bella's own lubrication seeped from her tissues. She was becoming aroused.
At first her confusion perplexed Edward. Hadn't she said that James had aroused her before, at least once? But just because he forced her body to react in a certain way didn't mean she enjoyed it, or that it felt pleasant at all. He knew perfectly well - though not from personal experience - that a man could be jerked off roughly, with an intensity that caused pain rather than pleasure. Surely the same went for women?
If so, it was very possible Bella had never felt actual pleasure, no matter how broad her sexual knowledge might be. He hated to think about it at all, and he rather wished this side effect of the examination had not occurred. It complicated things, and the last thing he and Bella needed right now was more complication. But thinking like that wasn't helping right now, he admitted to himself. The most important thing was to reassure her, to let her know what she was feeling was normal.
"Bella," he said, trying to keep his voice quiet, "have you ever had an orgasm?"
Her chest was rising and falling quicker now with her breaths. She shook her head, still watching him with wide, dark eyes. "Girls can't," she whispered.
"Oh, they can," Edward assured her. "Didn't you ever wonder why Victoria willingly slept with him?"
She shook her head again. "I tried not to think about it."
Edward smiled, despite the tense situation. "Yes. Yes, I can understand that. I'm sorry, little one; it was unintentional, but your body is responding to my touch."
"The cold feels good," she repeated, dropping her head back to the bed and closing her eyes. "Please don't stop. It feels so nice not to hurt..."
That wasn't the only reason it felt nice, but Edward refrained from correcting her. He used his free hand, now lubed, to gently rub and caress the folds of her vulva. Her entire genital area was swollen and red, more from the latest rape than current sexual arousal, and he wanted more than anything to ease her pain.
Her breathing quickened as he caressed her, stroking deeper with his finger inside of her, trying to feel for her cervix. Without a speculum there was no way he could actually see what sort of damage there might be, and he didn't know if touch would be of any use, but he wanted to try. But the angle of entry and his single digit did not allow him to reach deep enough, and he wasn't about to start moving vigorously enough to adjust his angle, let alone attempt to add another finger. She was behaving remarkably well, and under no circumstance was he going to push her any farther. He probed just a little deeper, the rest of his hand pressing against her warm flesh, and accidentally brushed her clit, which he'd been trying to stay away from.
Whether she was naturally incredibly responsive or it was just her body's complete lack of experience with pleasure, but that one small touch pushed her over the edge. It wasn't an explosive orgasm - it rolled through her body, pulsing, her inner walls tightening around his finger and pulling rhythmically as if drawing him deeper. She arched her back and made a soft, sweet noise full of wonder, drawing breath deep into her body. The sight of her and the sound falling from her lips absolutely melted Edward. She's mine, he thought, full of amazement that such a small, quiet human could make him feel this way. So protective, yet so at peace. He felt no need to hoard her jealously, like a fresh kill. He was no James. But watching her come slowly down from her gentle high, he wanted desperately to keep her. To share her sweetness and her light. To protect what needed protecting, heal what needed healing, and watch her grow into the lovely woman she was destined to be.
"Was that...?" she asked hesitantly, her skin flush with both fever and pleasure.
"It was," Edward agreed, and though he had not meant for it to happen, he felt a kind of pride that he had done this, given this to her. This thing that James wasn't interested in giving - wasn't capable of giving.
"Wow." She turned even redder and pulled her hands up to her cheeks, hiding her face.
Edward slowly withdrew his finger, trying to be as gentle as possible with her sensitive flesh, and rubbed her folds softly before sliding up alongside her on the bed and drawing her carefully into his arms.
"Don't be embarrassed," he said, rubbing her shoulder with his clean hand. The finger he had used to enter her was streaked here and there with blood, and he wiped it surreptitiously on a towel. He'd ask housekeeping to take the dirty towels as soon as possible, to keep the smell of blood to a minimum. Though he was technically full the smell still enticed him, and he wanted to keep Bella as safe as possible. From him as much as anything else.
"I've never...I didn't know," she mumbled into his shoulder.
"I know. Please don't fret. It's natural."
She sighed and turned more fully into his arms, wrapping hers around him and clutching handfuls of his shirt. "Am I okay?"
"You will be," Edward said, fairly sure he was telling the truth. "No more baths for a while. Showers only for a week or so. Topical analgesics aren't good to use down there, so if it hurts ice is best. Since we've learned you don't mind it," he added, brushing a finger gently across her cheek.
She made a small noise and buried her face farther into his shoulder, and Edward chuckled. Everything she did was just too adorable, and she didn't even seem to know it.
"Your genitalia should heal if you take it easy for a while," he went on. "Try to stay off your feet as much as possible. You do have a fever, though, and I'm a little concerned about that."
"Is that why I feel so warm?" she asked. "I sort of thought it was just in contrast to you."
"No, you're definitely warm," he said, stroking her bare back, unable to keep his hands to himself since she didn't seem to mind. "That slice in your arm isn't healing well, either. It needs to be cleaned, and I'd like to put a few stitches in it if the first-aid kit has the supplies."
She blanched, pushing away slightly and raising her troubled face to his. Her lower lip was between her teeth again, and he knew the thought of stitches made her nervous.
"It's okay," he soothed, finding her hand and squeezing it gently. "You don't have to agree if you don't want to. I don't know if the kit is equipped for that sort of thing, anyway."
"What else?" she asked hesitantly.
"Nothing. Other than letting your wounds heal and getting you over this fever, you're fine. More than fine, Bella. You're free. Safe."
"So strange..." she murmured. "Unless you count my stay at the hospital, this is my first time in a real building in three years."
"I thought something like that might be the case when we walked in." Edward leaned forward, daring, and kissed her forehead. "Now, let's get you showered, dressed, and fed. Then we'll see about medical supplies."
She nodded willingly, and allowed him to help her back to the bathroom. While she showered, he called for the used towels to be taken away and new ones brought, along with several food choices for Bella from room service. For himself, Edward wanted to feed again tonight, just in case, to keep her safe. His body was metabolizing his large meal quickly, and he wanted to make sure he didn't suddenly find himself ravenous.
After calling room service, Edward used the hotel phone to put in another call to Alice.
"You should really tell her she's coming home with you," his sister said the moment she picked up. "She'll be too worried to really relax otherwise, and I can already see she ends up in the hospital with a dangerously high fever if you can't get her to rest and accept your help. If she's too worried about what happens next, she could die, Edward."
"Okay, okay!" he snapped, tugging a hand through his hair. Playing the death card really was a low blow. "I get it, all right?" He paused, trying to calm his irritation. "Will she come, Alice?"
"Signs point to yes," Alice replied. "Stop worrying so much, Edward! Just tell her she's coming home, and everything should be fine."
"I worry," he confessed. "She's so fragile, so..."
"Human?"
Edward growled into the phone.
"Well, she is, and there's no point in denying it. There's no shame either, Edward. Emmett was human when Rose found him, after all."
"Barely. Bella isn't near death."
"Well, that's a choice you two will have to discuss. Later, though. Get her through this sickness first. Then come home to us, all right?"
Edward opened his mouth to snarl that there was no way he was taking away Bella's human life - not now, and not ever. But before he could get the first word out, he heard Alice giggle. "And don't argue with me, Edward, you know it's pointless. Now go attend to your girl. Call if you need anything." And she abruptly hung up.
Bella slipped out of the bathroom a small while later, her damp hair gleaming and her skin rosy. She blinked sleepily and her cheeks reddened even further when she saw Edward.
"Don't be embarrassed, little one," he said, holding out his hand. "You've done nothing wrong."
She placed her hand in his and came willingly into his arms when he pulled her close. "I just...thank you," she said quietly, rubbing her hot cheek against the smooth texture of his shirt. "No one's ever been this kind to me before."
"I am rarely kind." Edward kissed the top of her head, smoothing a hand through the tangles. "You mistake my motive. I am a monster, Bella. But I care deeply for you, and I want you to be safe and happy."
"How is that different from being kind?" She tipped her head back and gazed at him, a small smile on her face. "I think you underestimate yourself. Just because you prefer a solitary life does not make you unkind. You let those animals free. Nobody made you do that. And you took me with you, once you were out of that cage. You could have left me to fend for myself."
"I couldn't have done that," Edward argued. He picked her up in his arms, though he knew she was perfectly capable of walking, and couldn't help the surge of happiness that ran through his body when she willingly slipped her arms around his shoulders. The fingers of one hand found the back of his neck and stroked hesitantly at the soft hair. It felt amazing, and he wished he had all the time in the world to just enjoy that soft touch. "I couldn't - wouldn't - have left you." He remembered what Alice said, and hoped this was a reasonable time to tell Bella she was coming home with him. "And I won't leave you now," he said, bringing her to one of the beds and laying her gently down. "Bella, I can't and won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. But I know you're worried about what happens now. I'd very much like you to come home with me, once you're well enough to travel."
She stared up at him, amazement written plainly across her lovely features. "Come home with you?" she repeated dully. "For real?"
"Yes, for real," he said, smiling at her shocked face.
"But...but what about your family?"
"I spoke with my sister, Alice. She can't wait to meet you. I'm sure the others feel the same." Well, probably not Rosalie. But Edward refrained from mentioning that to Bella just now.
"Your sister." Bella blinked and rubbed a hand across her forehead. "Somehow, when you spoke of a family, I thought..."
"Little vampires running around underfoot?" Edward chuckled. "No, silly Bella. We can't reproduce that way."
There was a knock on the door, and Edward paused. "That will be your meal. You eat, and I'll tell you about my family. Deal?"
She nodded obligingly and struggled into a sitting position as Edward answered the door. When she saw the size of the tray he set next to her on the bed, her eyes grew wide. "Is all of that for me?" she squeaked, and Edward had to chuckle.
"Well, I'm certainly not going to eat it," he said, wrinkling his nose. "I want you to eat a decent-sized meal for once, but don't make yourself sick. Vomiting leads to dehydration, and that will only add to your troubles."
There was a full carafe of orange juice, and he poured her a big glassful. "Speaking of which," he continued, pressing the cup into her hand, "drink this before you eat anything."
Bella obeyed, as he knew she would, and she seemed to truly enjoy each swallow. The vitamin C and the liquid both would help. He'd ordered her soft breakfast foods, noting the time of day. Later he'd worry about balancing out her diet, but for now he just wanted to get some liquid and calories into her system. Poor baby looked like she hadn't had a decent meal in the three years she'd been held captive by James.
He returned to the chair by her bedside as she stared with big eyes at the plates of scrambled eggs, soft cut fruit, and the bowl of cinnamon-smelling oatmeal. There was also a mug of herbal tea, with small dishes of honey and lemon wedges. The way she hesitantly brought the first strawberry to her lips was amusing and heartbreaking all at once, her motions slow and careful, as if she thought someone might snatch the food away.
To distract both himself and her, Edward began talking. He spoke of his father and mother, the doctor and architect, and how loving they were to their adopted "children". He talked about Rosalie's love of cars and Emmett's playfulness, of Alice's foresight and joy, Jasper's skill with emotion. He explained about their life - how they moved from town to town, doing their best to fit in, leaving only when they could no longer hide the fact that they did not age. She ate up his words as eagerly as her breakfast, her eyes bright and wistful as he spoke of their family ties and devotion to each other.
He'd moved on to recounting some of their funny exploits, reminiscing about the time Emmett tried to convince everyone at one high school that Edward was the bastard half-brother of Princes William and Harry. Just before he got to the good part - where Emmett had actually convinced some of the idiot freshman to bow before him - he noticed Bella's head nodding over the mug of tea perched precariously in her drooping hands. Edward chuckled fondly and removed the cup, then put the tray outside the door for housekeeping to collect.
Returning to Bella, he placed a gentle hand on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily at him. "Your family sounds wonderful, Edward," she murmured.
"They'll love you," he promised. "I want you to swallow a painkiller before you sleep. Can you do that for me?"
She nodded, and he fetched her a cup of water from the bathroom and shook two pills from the bottle he'd purchased. "We'll get you some real clothes and things later, but for now, just sleep. It may take a few days for your fever to break. Just rest now, little one."
"Will you stay?"
Edward nodded. "How could I do otherwise?" He kissed her forehead and helped her burrow under her blankets, hearing her soft, contented sigh.
"Please," she said, her voice sliding quickly toward sleep. "I don't even know your name."
Edward smiled. Funny how some things were forgotten when relationships grew so quickly. "I am Edward," he said, stroking her hair. "Sleep now."
She nestled further into her pillows. "Edward..."
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
Before he could respond, she was asleep.
Bella slept like the dead.
For hours she did not wake. She hardly moved. The slight rise and fall of her chest as she breathed was the only reassurance Edward had she was still, in fact, with him. Soon after falling asleep she curled herself up into a small ball and stayed that way. His imagination wondered whether it was an unconscious reaction, as her body was used to sleeping on the ground with just a thin blanket as protection from the elements.
Edward was fascinated by her sleep. Her face grew pinker as her fever spiked and her forehead glistened with a thin sheen of sweat, but she did not move to throw off the blankets and so he let her be. Sometimes fevers needed to be broken by cooler temperatures, but sometimes what worked best was to just let a patient sweat it out. As long as she was sleeping peacefully and her pulse remained steady, he would not intervene.
While she slept, Edward took the opportunity to take his own shower. He was glad to wash the filth of the Midnight Carnival from his skin and hair, and he suspected Bella had felt the same way. He was only washing a week or so of torment from his body, though. She needed to wash away years, and one shower wouldn't fix everything.
But she had saved him - had braved one of her deepest fears to set him free - and he wasn't about to let her down now. Whatever she needed, he would provide. He suspected some needs would be harder to meet than food, clothing, and shelter...but they'd cross that bridge later. Right now she had a full belly and she was clean and asleep. Her wounds would heal, her fever would pass. The rest would come in time.
Edward wanted nothing to do with his old clothes - wanted to burn them, really. But he had nothing else to wear, and he would have to leave the hotel to procure necessary items once the sun went down. He was extremely thankful that humans seemed to be moving more and more toward a nocturnal state. During his human lifetime shops rarely stayed open much after dark. Getting clothing and other necessities for himself and Bella would have been infinitely more difficult back then.
He passed the afternoon peacefully enough while Bella slept. He checked the wound on her arm and smeared some antibacterial ointment on it, but the first-aid kit did not have the necessary materials to suture the puckered, inflamed skin back together. It was not bleeding, and a butterfly bandage might be good enough; he would try once she woke. For now he placed sterile gauze over the wound and taped it in place, more to keep the ointment from smearing across her clothes and the bed than anything else.
Edward prowled their room a little more and found a small refrigerator and a microwave hidden in the shelving unit that contained the TV. He immediately returned to the gift shop and bought a handful of popsicles, which he crammed into the fridge's tiny icebox. He hoped Bella would enjoy the frozen treat when she woke. She seemed to like cold things well enough.
He watched her sleep for a while, enchanted by the pink of her cheeks and the heat he could feel absolutely radiating from her body, even without touching her. He disliked the fact that she was sick, but it merely enhanced her intriguing human characteristics. She was so many things vampires were not: warm, soft, and fragile. Vampires did not become ill. They did not wound - not like humans. Bella did all these things, and while Edward lived amongst humans with his family, it was a very different sensation than actually have a trusting young girl asleep in his presence. She was so sweet, and still so very innocent even after everything that had been done to her. She trusted Edward not to hurt her, and he promised himself over and over again, with each beat of her heart, that he would never, ever abuse that trust.
There was, of course, the small problem of how to get her home. Renting or buying a car would require identification, as would plane, train, or bus tickets. He had no doubt that Alice already had a contact hard at work making him a new driver's license to replace the one lost at James' place, but even with her foresight these things took time. And then there was Bella to consider. Alice couldn't get a license ready for her without a photo, which she did not have.
If he were alone, Edward would just run home. It would take a couple of days to get from southwest Missouri to northwest Washington, even at vampire speed, but it was easy and did not require interaction with humans. It might be the best option, even with Bella. He glanced at her as he thought. She did not seem afraid to touch him. If he dressed her warmly, he could carry her for hours with ease. They would have to stop for breaks, which meant the run would take longer. But they could do it. It wasn't ideal, but it might be the best option. Alice might think nothing of stealing a car if she were in a jam, but Edward didn't consider it a safe option right now. He already had a lost wallet with various forms of ID floating around somewhere - whether it had still been in James' possession when the man died, he didn't know. But that was enough to worry about without adding grand theft auto to the mix.
Besides, he could almost guarantee that Bella wouldn't like it. And he would do just about anything to keep her happy.
Dusk fell quicker than he had expected, and Bella still did not wake. He paced a little, from his chair to the door and back again, trying to make a decision. He didn't want to leave her, but they needed some necessary supplies. He finally decided to go quickly and come back as soon as he could. She had slept long and deeply; in all likelihood she would stay asleep and wouldn't even know he'd been gone.
Decision made, Edward made sure his cash was in his pocket and he ventured out into the town. From perusing the phone book, he knew there was a strip mall close by with both a large drug store and an Old Navy. While Alice patently forbade any member of the Cullen family to buy clothing from a store like that, at this point he didn't care. They had clothes there, and plenty of them.
The store was busy enough with people just off work that he avoided confrontation with salespeople for the most part. Bella's old clothes were so worn that he could barely make out the sizes on the tags, but he hoped he had read them right. The bra was the worst - numbers and letters. How did women keep it all straight in their heads? Why couldn't they just label everything small, medium, and large?
Edward picked out several pairs of jeans for him, and new socks, boxers, and t-shirts. Most of this would be promptly donated by Alice as soon as they reached home, so it didn't matter too much to him. As long as things were clean, he didn't care. He did pick one hooded sweatshirt because, while vampires did not feel the cold as humans did, that didn't mean they enjoyed being rained on.
For Bella he was a little more careful. He bought her soft, stretchy yoga pants and matching hooded sweatshirts, several pairs of socks, and brightly-colored underwear rolled up in a bag. He added one pair of jeans in case she didn't want to walk around in public in the form-fitting yoga pants. He thanked the clothing gods Alice was always praying to when he found a section of camisoles with something called a "built-in shelf bra" and eagerly grabbed a few. Surely that would do for now, and Alice or Esme could take her shopping for real bras later? He hoped so.
His shoes were still fine, but Bella's ratty old Keds were practically useless, so he bought her a new pair of canvas sneakers. Again, he knew Alice would completely overhaul whatever he bought when they got home, so he didn't bother even trying to buy much. This was just to get them to Forks.
At the drug store, Edward tossed his Old Navy bags in a cart and proceeded up and down the aisles, hoping he wasn't forgetting anything. The medical supplies from the first-aid kit would likely last until they reached their destination, so he didn't bother with more. He bought toothbrushes and toothpaste, and soap and shampoo that was better quality than the little hotel samples. He got Bella a package of pads to help with the bleeding, and threw in a bottle of multivitamins, too. She needed calories and nutrition, and this would help. Gatorade, to keep her hydrated while she was feverish. Backpacks for both of them, to pack their things when they left the hotel. Just the basics.
Edward hurried back to the hotel, nervous about having left Bella for so long. He'd been gone maybe an hour and a half, walking time included, but he hadn't wanted to leave at all. Probably she slept, he told himself as he rode up the elevator like a normal person instead of taking his multitude of bags up the stairs. Of course she slept. What else would she do?
But Bella was not asleep when he entered the room. She was sitting up in bed and panting, her eyes big and frightened. A gleaming sheen of sweat coated the skin he could see, and her eyes were hazy when she turned to him.
"Edward!" she said, and she tried to get out of bed, reaching for him.
He was at her side in a flash, gathering her small frame into his arms. "Shh, little one," he said, settling her back in bed. "It's all right. I'm here. What's wrong?"
She had kicked off all her blankets, and the wide legs of her new pajama pants had ridden up to the middle of her thighs.
"Thought you left," she whimpered, pressing against him. Her skin was red - moist and hot to the touch - and Edward stroked her damp hair gently. "Sick," she added, grimacing. "I woke up alone, and my throat is so dry..."
"Oh, little one." Edward kissed the top of her head. "We can fix that. Please don't fret. I said I wouldn't leave you, and I won't. Please try to believe me, Bella. I couldn't hurt you like that." Or myself, he thought, but he refrained from speaking the words. Now was not the time. "Let me get up, sweet girl, and I'll get you a drink."
"But you feel so good," she mumbled, pressing as much of her body against him as she could.
"No doubt," Edward said wryly. "Let me take your temperature again, and then you can have all the cold Gatorade you can drink, okay?"
She nodded willingly, and Edward handed her the thermometer again. He fished in a bag for one of the refrigerated bottles of red liquid and popped the cap for her. After two minutes they traded drink for thermometer, and Edward frowned at her temperature as she drank deeply.
"Don't just swallow," he said, stroking her hair with one hand. "Swish it around in your mouth - gargle, even, if you can. Let the tissues absorb some of the liquid."
"I hate Gatorade," she said finally, breathing deeply. There wasn't much left in the bottle. "But this tastes amazing."
"When was the last time you had something that wasn't stale water from the RV?"
Bella shrugged. "In the hospital, I guess. Before that? Years."
"Come here." He sat next to her on the bed and leaned against the headboard. She came willingly into his arms and rested her head against his chest with a contented little sigh. Her temp had spiked to almost 102, and Edward was nervous. Whatever bug she'd caught, her body was battling hard to fight it. But if her fever rose much higher, she could easily die. Already her face flamed, and while she sounded mostly coherent there was a filmy haze over her beautiful eyes. While he'd use just about any excuse to touch her, to hold her, at this point it was important to bring her fever down. His body temperature would help more than just about anything other than a chilled IV.
"I was afraid," she mumbled against his chest.
Edward hugged her close, wishing he had time to put on a clean shirt but not about to move now. "That I had left?"
"Mm-hm." She nestled closer, her voice sounding both calmer and less coherent.
"I won't, little one, I promise I won't. I know it's hard for you to trust people, but I'm not leaving you."
"I trust you," she said quietly. "But my nightmares are so real sometimes."
"I'm right here with you. I'll do my best to make them go away. Nothing in your dreams could possibly be scarier than a real-life vampire."
"You'd be surprised," she mumbled.
Edward sighed and rested his cheek against her head. She was right, of course. "Would you take some more medicine for me? It will help with the fever, and any pain."
She willingly swallowed two more pills with the rest of the Gatorade. There were adorable tiny red stains at the corners of her mouth from the dyed liquid, and Edward badly wanted to lick them. But now was not the time. Instead he offered her food, which she declined, or a popsicle, which she eagerly accepted. But she fell asleep on his chest before it was halfway gone, and he tossed the melting treat into the bedside trash can. He angled them to lie fully on the bed, keeping as much of his body in contact with her as possible. Her abused body needed all the help it could get to fight this.
Bella's fever broke early the next morning, her temperature falling by a degree and a half. She was still hot, but not dangerously so. Edward breathed a sigh of relief as he put the thermometer aside and called Alice on the hotel phone.
"Will she be all right now?" he asked with no preliminaries.
"When was the last time you called to actually talk to me?" she pretended to whine. "This girl's really done it for you, hasn't she?"
"She saved my life, Alice, but that isn't it. I can't explain it, but I need her."
"Good thing she's the patient type. I know I certainly couldn't put up with you hovering like this if it were me."
"Alice, I mean it! Is she going to be okay?"
"She'll be fine, Edward," she said, her voice gentling and the teasing leeching out of it. "Please try to calm down. Worrying isn't going to help any."
"Will she stay?"
"With us, you mean?" Alice's voice was warm. "There's a vision I'd like to show you. Unfortunately, we can't do that over the phone."
Edward froze. Alice's words had made him remember something he'd almost forgotten in the worry over Bella's well-being. Once he stepped free from James' and Victoria's damnable cage he had been able to hear their thoughts, and the thoughts of the werewolf. He had not realized right away, but it was clear enough now that, for whatever reason, he never caught so much as a hint of Bella's thoughts. Her mind was completely closed to him.
"I can't hear her, Alice!"
"Bravo, brother, I thought you'd never figure it out!" Alice giggled, obviously enjoying her sibling's momentary distress. "Don't worry about it, Edward. She's a natural shield; I've seen it."
"If she's a shield, then how come you can see visions of her?"
"Jasper will be able to sense her emotions as well. I can't say why - that might be a question for Eleazar someday. For now, it's best to just to accept her for who and what she is."
"I do, Alice. But I worry. A human shield? What if the Volturi learn of this? You know how Aro likes to collect...oddities."
"If it ever happens, I will see Aro's decision. Try not to worry about eventualities. Just enjoy this gift you've been given, Edward. She's yours now, and you deserve to be happy."
Edward gazed at Bella, asleep still and tucked closely into his side. The fiery color in her cheeks had paled slightly, and she looked less troubled. He allowed himself a smile. "I don't deserve her," he murmured to his sister, "but I couldn't possibly give her up. Not now that I know she exists."
"Nobody deserves anybody, Edward, that's not how love works." Alice giggled again. "Don't you know that by now, brother mine?"
"How should I?" He trapped the receiver between his shoulder and his ear, and used his hand to trace the soft contours of Bella's face. She was warm and sweet, her hair falling softly over her cheek. He brushed it back, exposing the delicate line of her throat. "This has never happened to me before."
"Well, now it has. Enjoy it, Edward. Do you want to talk to Esme or Carlisle?"
"Not right now." Edward wanted nothing more than to watch Bella sleep. "We'll head toward home as soon as Bella's healthy enough to travel."
"I'll see when you decide," Alice replied. "Stay safe until then, and call if you need anything."
Edward hung up, his expression rapt as he gazed at the human girl asleep in his arms. She was so strange, this Bella. So captivating. Never had he met a human with so little regard for her own safety that she would risk it to save a vampire. Never had he met a girl so beautiful, so alluring. He wanted the world for her. Wanted to give her everything she wanted, everything she needed. He wanted to help her heal and watch her shine.
Most of all, he wanted to keep her human. No matter what Alice might insinuate, he knew that no good could ever come of turning someone into a monster. Bella had known too many monsters in her short life already; there was no need for her to become one herself. He would love her for the entirety of her short human life, and when her time on this earth ended, so would his. The thought of death left him...peaceful, really, he thought. Because he could not survive without her, now that he knew she existed. He had no wish to try.
She shifted in his arms, exhaling a peaceful breath, and her eyes fluttered. When they opened, Edward smiled. The fevered haze was gone; her big dark eyes were clear now, though sleepy.
"You're here," she breathed, a hesitant smile on her face. She blinked again, then rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm. "I sort of thought it might all be a dream."
"It's no dream, little one," Edward said quietly, wrapping his hand around hers. "You're free, and here with me."
Her smile grew bigger, though it was still gentle. "If you were a dream, you'd be a good one. Not a nightmare."
"Really?"
She nodded shyly, the smile still playing across her lovely features. "I thought you'd maybe like to know."
"You're too good to be true, you know that?" Edward pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"I'm just me," Bella protested, nestling closer to him as he reluctantly pulled his lips away. "Nothing special."
"That's where you're wrong, sweet girl. You are so, so special. So incredibly important. Please don't sell yourself short."
She shook her head, pressing her hot forehead into the crook of his neck. "It's hard to hear, you know. James and Victoria always said - "
"Hush, little one. Don't for one minute believe a word they ever told you. None of it could possibly be true."
"Some of it is," she argued, still holding her warm body against him and refusing to meet his eyes. "They called me an ignorant little idiot, and it's true. I haven't been to school since my dad died."
"That isn't your fault, and you're not an idiot. I can tell by talking to you that you're perfectly intelligent and capable of whatever you put your mind to."
"Not everything," she tried to argue, but Edward cut her off.
"Maybe not tightrope walking; I saw that you can be a little clumsy sometimes. But you're not an idiot, Bella. You're a smart girl who was thrown into a bad situation. When we get home, we can start rectifying things. We'll tutor you, or find you a professional tutor, whichever you like. And when you're ready, you can decide to continue home-schooling or come to the local high school with us."
"You really think I can catch up before I get too old for high school?" Bella asked doubtfully.
"I think you're more than capable," Edward said, and he meant it. "Now, no more worrying. You're still sick, and stress isn't helping you get any better." He kissed her forehead again, unable to stop himself. Her skin was so warm, so soft under his lips. "Now, I have some surprises for you."
Bella moved her head, peering up at him warily. "I don't really like surprises," she said.
Her careful expression and taut voice made Edward instantly sorry he'd phrased his words that way. The last thing he wanted was for her to distrust him. Of course she'd dislike surprises; nothing unexpected in the past few years could possibly have been pleasant.
"Oh, little one," he said, touching her cheek with just the tips of his fingers, "I'm sorry. It's nothing bad, I promise." Hesitantly, he shifted off the bed, his body instantly aching from the lost contact. Bella's hand began to move as if reaching for him, but she stopped as she saw him draw shopping bags out from under the bed. Her beautiful eyes got big as he spilled the contents across her lap - soft new clothes, soap, shampoo, toothbrush, hairbrush - everything. Her hands hovered over the items as if she didn't quite dare to touch them.
"It's okay, Bella," Edward said quietly. "It's all for you. Well, okay, some of the clothes are mine. And a toothbrush. But the rest of it is yours."
A tear dropped, making a wet spot on a navy blue hooded sweatshirt.
"Oh, god, why are you crying?" Anxiety laced through Edward. Had he somehow misjudged, miscalculated something? Did she not like something he'd provided? Was it all wrong? Should he have waited until Alice could -
She wiped a hand across her eyes and sniffed. "New clothes?" she asked hesitantly, sounding amazed. "New clothes - for me?"
Edward let out a huge breath. "Of course, sweetheart. Your old rags are already in the trash. This is just for the trip home, of course. Once we get there, my sister Alice will provide you with much more, and better quality. But for now..."
"I haven't had more than one extra change of clothes since I came to live with James," Bella whispered. "And it's always been the cast-offs even Goodwill wouldn't want." Her dark eyes flicked up to his, still brimming with tears, but her face was shining. "Thank you, Edward."
"Anything for you." He meant it. Whatever she wanted. Anything she wanted, so long as he got to see that beautiful look on her face again.
"But...why?"
"Because I love you, Bella." Edward knelt next to the bed and touched her cheek softly. He supposed he should feel nervous about admitting this, but he didn't. Saying the words felt...right. Natural. "I know it's too soon, and I don't expect you to say it back. Not now, and maybe not ever. I'm not pressuring you into anything, and I want you to understand that. But you're the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met, and I love you. I'd give you the world if you asked me to."
Another tear dropped from Bella's brimming eyes, and she caught her breath. Blinking hard, she launched herself out of the bed and into his cold arms.
Edward found his grip suddenly full of a warm, shuddering body as she cried on his shoulder, holding him tightly.
"Hush, sweet girl, why the tears?" He moved them back to the bed, cradling her in his arms, and tucked her head firmly under his chin. "There's no need to cry. I don't expect anything from you, Bella, there's no reason to be sad or afraid..."
She shook her head and clutched him even tighter. "How can you love me?" she whispered, warm tears falling against his throat. "You're so b-beautiful and strong, and I'm n-nothing...human...nothing..."
"Everything," Edward said firmly, pulling back against the feeble strength of her arms and tipping her chin up so he could see her eyes. "Bella, you're everything to me. And this isn't some whim, sweet girl. When vampires fall in love, it's for good. Permanent."
There was a spark of something in the sweet brown depths of her eyes, and Bella touched his cheek wonderingly. "I still don't understand," she murmured, tracing her fingertips across the firm line of his jaw and then the softer curve of his lips. "I don't deserve you." Another tear dropped.
Edward leaned forward and kissed the shining drop. The taste of warm salt met his tongue. "I said those exact words to Alice on the phone a little while ago. Exact, but opposite - I told her that I didn't deserve you. Do you know what she said?"
Bella shook her head minutely.
"She told me that people don't deserve each other, that love doesn't work that way. I may be old, Bella, but I'm new at this."
"Me, too," she whispered. The expression on her face made a delicious, peaceful kind of warmth bleed through Edward's frame. He'd never felt anything like it before. Love, certainly. He'd known he loved her - had been able to admit it to himself - since he saw her hunched, limping figure move toward him after three agonizing days of not knowing whether she was alive. Now, though...now it was different. She hadn't told him she loved him back, and he didn't expect her to. Not so soon, not while she was still sick and so many things were still up in the air. But there was an expression in her brown eyes that gave him peace. She cared about him. Not as a poor creature she took pity on and tried to help, and not as a benefactor suddenly heaping new clothes in her lap. She cared about him, about Edward Cullen. He didn't think anything could top the feeling of seeing all that in her eyes.
"I usually make it a habit to trust Alice," Edward murmured, holding Bella's still-feverish body firmly in his arms. "What do you say we try to do that together? Trust her, and see what happens?"
"I'd like that." Bella's hand returned to his mouth, ghosting over his lips with a hesitant brush. "Edward?"
"Mm?" He nipped gently at her fingertips with his lips, opening just a little and closing them against her soft flesh. He loved the way her eyes glazed over slightly, her entire attention focused on the movements of his mouth.
"Can I ask you...?"
"Anything." He moved his slow, careful kisses to the next fingertip.
"W-would you...kiss me?"
God, yes. Edward moved his mouth, placing a firmer kiss against her hot palm, then the tempting fragile inside of her wrist. He caught her hand loosely with his, holding it against his cheek, and bent toward her.
She was trembling in his arms, her eyes big and wide, the pupils dilated as he drew closer. Her mouth opened and a gentle breath tickled his chin before he settled his lips against hers.
Bliss. She was everything he could have dreamed - warm, deliciously soft, her lips a little wet. He kissed her as gently as he could, brushing his mouth softly against hers, barely touching. He held her hand on his cheek still, and couldn't resist letting his tongue slip out to softly lick her lower lip.
She made a small noise and reached for him with her free hand, sliding her warm palm across his shoulder and up the back of his neck, winding into his hair. Her body moved toward him almost of its own volition, and her mouth settled more firmly against his.
Bella was breathing a little harder when she finally pulled away, her eyes still big but now unafraid. The hint of a blush tinted her cheeks as she whispered, "Thank you."
"For what?" Edward asked, smiling. He pressed his forehead against hers.
"My first kiss."
"You're joking."
She shook her head, her blush deepening, and nestled closer against him. "I was only thirteen when I came to stay with James, and he never wanted to kiss me."
"Good," Edward growled, holding her tighter. "At least you can have one untainted experience." He took a deep breath, fighting back his anger at the dead man. It was useless now. "He missed out. Your kiss was amazing. Delicious."
Bella pulled back and raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
"I'm not taking it back," Edward said decisively, smiling widely at her. "You are delicious. But I won't harm you, Bella. I couldn't."
"I trust you, Edward." Bella opened her mouth to say something more, but before she could form the words her stomach rumbled loudly.
Edward chuckled. "That sounds like a command if I ever heard one."
Bella blushed deeper and hid her face in his chest.
"Don't hide, little one. There's no reason to ever hide from me." He rubbed the back of her neck, then ran his hand down her back. "Why don't you shower? It'll probably feel good after sweating so much. I'll order you up some food, and you can watch TV if you're not sleepy. How does that sound?"
"Good." Bella rubbed her eyes. "My body's all lethargic, but I don't think my head wants to sleep."
"Then you don't have to, as long as you promise to rest. Is there anything in particular you want to eat?"
"More popsicles?" she asked, sounding pleadingly hopeful.
Edward had to laugh. She was too adorable for words. "You can have as many popsicles as you want, silly Bella, but that's not a meal. What can I order you from room service?" But he could deny her nothing when she looked so wistful, and so he crossed to the mini fridge and pulled a popsicle from the tiny icebox. "Here, take it with you. Now, food?"
She unwrapped the frozen treat and gave it an eager lick before putting the tip in her mouth and sucking. "Feels so good on my throat," she mumbled, smiling.
Edward thought he could watch her lips and tongue devouring the popsicle all day, but suddenly a sick feeling twisted in his gut. Though James was dead, the memory of what he had forced this girl to do lingered. It would take a while, Edward knew, before he could think of Bella doing anything more sensual than sweetly kissing, without the memory of James twisting and perverting his thoughts. The way she was licking her treat was terribly arousing, but the thought of James absolutely killed any positive emotion.
Time, he told himself. They had plenty of time.
"Grilled cheese," Bella said, drawing him out of his daze. "I'd love some grilled cheese and soup, if it's possible. I can't remember the last time I had anything like that."
It was a good choice. He'd order whole-grain bread and a vegetable-rich soup - no French onion or anything creamy. Tomato would be good if they had it. The fat in the cheese would help with much-needed calories, too. Add plenty of liquid to drink - more Gatorade for the electrolytes - and it really was an excellent meal option. "Okay," he readily agreed. "Grilled cheese and soup it is. Let's get the drug store stuff into the bathroom, and then you take as long as you want in the shower."
Once again, thoughtful reviews means the next part gets posted faster. Have a great weekend! Oh, one warning: next chapter is NSFJL (not safe for Jacob lovers).