The Reason-Fire
Disclaimer: Totally poor, own nothing. Glee belongs to Fox and Ryan Murphy.
A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews and alerts. Thanks for reading :) The song is, I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen and will be in Bold and Italics.
"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable." Bruce Lee
DK Late Sunday Evening
The sun was setting. The last of it's rays sending warmth, fractured like a prism across the cab of the truck. The deep blue green of the sky, the color of Fancy's eyes, was now changing to purple. My favorite part of the day, a mixture of shadow and light. There were thunder clouds in the distance. A storm to match the one in his heart. Why did I have to see him . It was getting easier. The dreams never went away, but the waking moments were better. Damn, I'm only thirty minutes into my drive. Maybe he wont contact me. Knowing Fancy, He'll have second thoughts. It would be for the best. Rolling down his windows, he smells the distant rain on the breeze. it's a cleansing smell. Taking a deep breath, he turns on the radio.
Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I'm on fire
He's probably with him right this minute. Kissing him, holding him whispering all the things you'll never be able to tell him. Hitting the steering wheel, " Damn." It can't hurt forever.
Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I don't do
I can take you higher
I'm on fire
Does he ever think of it? Does he dream of it like I do? Or does he have nightmares? Ha that's more like it. Some giant monster lumbering toward him in a Letterman jacket. The pain is so intense his nostrils burn, and his eyes water. Tears don't fall, he wont let them. Instead he keeps them, stores them in that well of emotions deep inside. A real man doesn't cry, they suck it up and move on. Your a man now, not a stupid insecure jock, so stop wishing for what can't be and get your ass in the game big boy. This is real life not some damn romance novel, your ma reads. Okay be honest it's just you here. YES, I have read them too, only the more manly ones with thriller plots. Ha, it's a bad day when you feel the need to justify something silly to yourself. If my mom realized she never said anything, thank god. She looked so tired. I hate knowing that I'm hurting her. Sometimes I think it would be better if know one cared. Freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose. Didn't I hear that in a song once?
It's true. no possessions, no family, no friends. Nothing to hold onto, means nothing to lose, nothing to hurt you when it's gone. No one to hurt, no one to care what you do. Total freedom. and total loneliness.
Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and Dull and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my soul
The rain starts to pound the truck , as the low fuel light comes on. Pulling into the almost empty filling station, he runs through the down pour to pay for his tank of gas. Five minutes later he's soaked to the bone, shirt plastered to his body, and rain running down his face from his hair. The warmth of the day gone, a chill sweeps him. The windshield wipers a metronome for the thoughts in his mind. Slowly he makes his way back on the road, his outer body still chilled, but inside, He's on fire.
KH
Monday 3 am
Kurt lays in the darkness staring at the ceiling. He's been tossing and turning for most of the night, cold one minute, burning up the next. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Now he's stripped only to his boxer briefs, a sheet covering his waist. Blaine's coming home tomorrow. More than a week apart, and I still don't know what to do. Everythings going to come crashing down, this house of cards their building. I don't know if I can handle it. Maybe we can work it out. We have all the pieces but we can't put the damn puzzle together. Dave. No he's not allowed in your thoughts tonight. It's him, you saw something in him that you don't see in Blaine. No, no no. Remember all those cheesy after school specials, reforming the bad boy never works. The grass is never greener on the other side. In this case there's just mud and weeds. I can't hurt Blaine, what kind of person does that make me. I'm the one who started the ball rolling, and now I just want to poke the damn thing letting all the air out. Taking a deep breath he rolls over flipping his pillow to the cool side. He drifts off thinking of haunted eyes. His body covered in goose bumps, but inside he's on fire.
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through
The middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
I'm on fire.