Aaaaaand for part two of how to write like ISK, we'll cover the exact opposite of part one!
Step Two: Constantly Praise Yourself!
Quite simply, just add some selfish praise everywhere. Like this:
With one of his frequently-said "Chyeah"s, IStalkKirby went on to deliver another awesome chapter of some story he writes, all the while making everyone happy and stuff.
Or maybe even:
IStalkKirby is so awesome.
And finally:
IStalkKirby is soooo romantic! He treats me so well and he buys me flowers and kisses me every day before he leaves for work! I love him sooooo much! Oh wait, I forgot, I'm IStalkKirby! I'ma go buy myself some flowers.
Remember to splice this with part 1!
IStalkKirby might suck and definitely have no chance at true happiness in the real world, but online he's pretty cool.
That is all, onto the chapter!
Rebuilding
Chapter 16: New Alleigances
Everything was quiet in Saffron City. Recently, a flock of otherworldy beings named Primids had flooded the Pokemon world, destroying homes and killing innocent people in the search for a group of video game characters known as the 'Super Smash Brothers'. Not even the Kanto Elite Four had been able to stop the chaos.
All survivors of the Primid attack had hidden in their homes; with only the radio tower in Johto keeping them informed of the fate of the Pokemon world. The Primids had moved onto Hoenn, and thankfully were in an apparently-deserted island named Mirage Island.
The only person in Saffron City not in the safety of a bombarded house had been blasted into Silph Co, by a molecular incident. The only person in Saffron City not in the safety of a bombarded house was a Super Smash Brother.
Luigi was in Silph Co, still trying to activate the Game Boy Horror.
"This place needs to have something somewhere that'll help me find someone else!" grunted Luigi, raking through box after box. "No transmission boosters or anything!"
Luigi paused. "How do I know about all that?"
Luigi wondered about this, and then found an old aerial. Excited, Luigi gathered his Game Boy Horror and the aerial and took the elevator to the top floor of Silph Co.
"I wonder..." wondered Luigi, attaching the aerial to his Game Boy Horror and holding the device up to the sky.
A flickering image appeared on the screen, and Luigi craned his neck to see it.
Mr. Game and Watch and Jigglypuff were in some kind of island, fighting off the Primids alone.
"Jigs!" came Mr. Game and Watch's beeping voice. "Keep these things away from me!"
For the first time since the separation, Luigi was beside himself with joy.
"Mr. Game and Watch?" cried Luigi into the speakers. "Is it really you?"
"I don't want to kill people!" sobbed Jigglypuff's high-pitched voice.
"Jigglypuff, can you hear me?" Luigi shouted into the small device.
Luigi watched on the screen as Jigglypuff turned back to Mr. Game and Watch and replied, "Chyeah, I heard you already..."
Mr. Game and Watch responded by slapping Jigglypuff, and Luigi chuckled. They can hear me, Luigi told himself over and over again.
"Wait a minute, I've got an idea!" declared Mr. Game and Watch. Luigi watched as the 2-D man beckoned Jigglypuff to follow him, and they walked off-screen.
"That's it?" asked Luigi. "It's over?"
Luigi fiddled with the aerial.
"Where are the others?" wondered Luigi. "Is Peach okay? I need to know!"
'OUT OF RANGE' flashed the Game Boy Horror's screen.
Feeling as hopeless as he had before, Luigi buried his face in his hands and silently began to cry.
Mario and Wario looked around for the Smasher that had said "That's what you think,". Mario knew it wasn't Ike or Yoshi, so it must be someone else about to emerge from the warp pipe.
"Wario, looks like-a you're outnumbered now-a!" chuckled Mario. Wario snarled, and raised his fists – but he was then blown back by a fired Missile.
"What's this place?" asked Samus casually, firing all sorts of weapons at Wario.
"Oh, it's Wario's-a place, WarioWare," replied Mario offhandedly. "Is anyone else-a coming with you?"
"Everyone wants a piece of the action," smirked Samus, kicking Wario listlessly. "Just see for yourself!"
Ike and Donkey Kong walked over, supporting the recovering Yoshi. "Hey Samus, you want a piece of this action?" asked Ike, having overheard Samus.
"Do you really think this is the right time to be making stupid passes at me?!" asked Samus infuriated.
"I'm trying to make conversation!" yelled Ike, his mood changing.
"I know exactly what you're trying to do!" shouted Samus. Mario sighed, and turned back to the pipe, where Diddy Kong popped out holding a gun.
"What gives?" asked Diddy Kong. "Where's Peach and that there Kirby type person?"
Mario opened his mouth to answer, before he remembered where Kirby and Peach were, and what Wario had said.
"Crap-a!" cried Mario. "They're-a upstairs! Bowser and Meta-Knight are there-a!"
"Mac, we gotta go and saves them!" said Diddy at once. "I'll gos, I gots projectile type stuff!"
"I'll go too," agreed Samus. "I've already missed most of the first ass-kicking,"
She pointed at the feebly stirring Wario.
Diddy fired a peanut at Wario, and the latter fell unconscious again.
"What is that anyway?" asked Yoshi, rubbing his head in pain.
"Oh, that's his peanut popgun," replied DK, smiling appreciatively. "He's always building inventive jungle weapons...in fact, he picked up that accent by watching instructional videos for mechanics,"
"That's rights, big mac!" smiled Diddy. "I sure does love me some of that building!"
"What?" asked Yoshi, confused.
"He loves building," replied DK.
"Oh, right, right," said Yoshi.
"Even done gots me some Rocketbarrels," smirked Diddy, procuring a pair of barrels with rockets strapped to them.
"Well that's not so special!" scoffed Yoshi. "Anyone could make those!"
"Carefuls mac, that's triggered by insults," replied Diddy coldly, watching the left barrel attack Yoshi.
"Wow, I'm impressed," said Samus, impressed.
"Oh come on!" cried Ike incredulously. "The monkey impressed you and I didn't?!"
...
"Oh...I mean...hey baby...bench-presses..." said Ike, sweating. Eventually, everyone else came from the Warp Pipe, and the formulation of a battle plan began.
"Nice plan you got there," said a horribly familiar voice. Meta-Knight stood at the foot of the stairs, smirking at all the Smashers.
Bowser followed suit soon afterwards, carrying Peach and Kirby. Peach looked like she had merely been drugged, but Kirby looked battered, bruised, and thoroughly abused; all of the Smashers realised Kirby had fallen while fighting the two villains his hardest to protect Peach for Mario. "Meta-Knight, you take care of Kirby. I've got the princess, and she's all I need!"
Meta-Knight nodded.
"You monsters!" shrieked Pit, stepping forward. "You killed Kirby!"
...
"And Peach!" finished Pit.
"Killed?" repeated Bowser, mildly amused. "No, no, no...we want Kirby to remember a punishment like this...and –" Bowser's voice became quieter and more subdued, "- I'd never kill Peach..."
"Liar!" cried Pit, angrily flying towards Bowser. Bowser snapped his fingers, and Meta-Knight dived forwards, slicing the air before Pit warningly. Pit hastily retreated back to the other "heroic" Smashers.
"Okay, angel, fun's over. We're leaving, as soon as Meta-Knight does what he will with his enemy!" chuckled Bowser.
"Enemy?" asked Meta-Knight. "Kirby's not my enemy."
"What?" cried Bowser. "Then what is he?!"
"He's my rival," continued Meta-Knight, unwisely. "In fact, I've helped him a couple of ti-aargh!"
Bowser has thrown Meta-Knight against the wall.
"You...you traitor!" roared Bowser furiously. "You told me Dream Land's ruler wanted Kirby dead!"
"He does!" spluttered Meta-Knight. "But I'm not Dream Land's ruler!"
"Then don't mention the ruler!" screamed Bowser. "We're villains! We're egotistical! Mentioning the ruler is basically the same as mentioning ourselves! Read the manual!"
"I'm not a villain!" protested Meta-Knight. "I'm an anti-hero! Like Shadow the Hedgehog!"
"NOW YOU'RE REFERENCING SONIC?!" screamed Bowser, punching Meta-Knight again. "I SHOULD KILL YOU RIGHT HERE FOR THIS INSOLENCE!"
"No...no you shouldn't..." panted Kirby weakly, getting to his feet. "...and Meta-Knight? I don't think you've formally been invited in yet...welcome to the Super Smash Brothers..."
"Kirby..." Meta-Knight's voice softened, and he looked at the pink (well, and blood-red) puffball staggering before him and Bowser. Since he'd accepted Bowser's offer to destroy the SSB, he'd knocked this kid out twice, attacked his friends, and stalked him (shout-out!) outside a castle for a few chapters. And now he was offering him a place in the SSB's third tournament.
Bowser roared in fury, and spewed fire at Kirby and Meta-Knight – but he was cut off.
Mario had jumped between Bowser and the puffballs, with some sort of water pump on his back. Mario sprayed water at Bowser, hitting him with the one thing all fighters feared most:
"PRUNE FINGERS!1" screamed Bowser, jumping out of the window.
"Thanks for the prunifying-a water, Squirtle," thanked Mario, looking over his shoulder at Squirtle.
Squirtle gave the closest thing he could to a thumbs-up.
"In fact, I think I'll use this-a as a special move-a!" declared Mario.
"Don't push it," replied Squirtle.
Zelda ran over to Kirby.
"So if Bowser didn't kill you, can I?" asked Zelda eagerly.
"Well Kirby, this woman's certainly interesting..." laughed Meta-Knight mysteriously.
Zelda smiled at him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," interrupted Fox. "MarioXPeach I can understand, the BowserXPeach one-sided stuff's pretty fun at times, but SamusXIke love/hate?! ZELDAXMETA-KNIGHT?! AUTHORXANYONE?! This is just so damn stupid! Graah! I can't work like this!"
"What was that last one?" asked Pikachu curiously.
Suddenly, the fourth wall began to crumble.
"Everyone into the Warp Pipe!" screamed Link, as everyone scurried into the pipe.
"Well, that joke certainly got run into the ground..." sighed Fox.
"No, don't say that!" was the general response.
The Warp Pipe was run into the ground, until it crossed paths with another Warp Pipe, eventually sending the Smashers to –
"-Indigo Plateau's Pokemon Stadium!" cried Pikachu upon landing.
"How do you know it's Indigo Plateau, might I ask?" asked Pokemon Trainer.
"Just a feeling," shrugged Pikachu. "See, last tournament we visited a similar stadium, and it changed into Rock, Fire, Water, or Grass type terrains,"
"I see," replied Pokemon Trainer, fascinated. "So you say this place could transform too?"
Pikachu nodded.
Link's ears suddenly twitched.
"What is it, Link?" asked Kirby eagerly. "Trouble over at the sugar cane mill?"
Link shook his head. "No. I mean, what? No, I mean NO, we're being followed."
A tired-looking Wario limped out of the pipe, wheezing after every few steps.
"Get ready for your doom, Sma'ers..." said Wario, coughing on the last words.
Pikachu felt a rumble. "The stage, it's changing!"
The entire stadium was covered in snow and ice, with a little shack opening up in the background. A Snover stood in the shack, beckoning the Smashers inside.
They obliged, and they all watched Wario slip on the ice.
"That's the Ice type transformation!" gasped Pokemon Trainer. Ivysaur shut his eyes and groaned, while Charizard looked confident and eager to battle.
"Hey, it looks like the type of stage affects the mood of the Pokemon," noticed Samus.
"Yeah, like how Pikachu and Squirtle don't really care, but Ivysaur's upset!" agreed Pokemon Trainer. "And why Charizard's so eager to get out there!"
"STAGE CHANGING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION," said the Snover loudly. The stage changed from covered in snow to covered in earth.
The Snover and the shack disappeared, and were replaced with a huge mound of dirt.
"Okay, I'm out of here, seriously," stammered Pikachu, edging away from the battlefield. "Ground types just...they just rub me the wrong way, alright?"
On the contrary, Squirtle and Ivysaur suddenly looked overjoyed, and even Charizard cracked a smile: the Flying sub-type meant he was immune to Ground attacks.
"Welcome to the Ground portion of our stage!" welcomed a Dugtrio.
"How many portions are there?" asked Pit, confused.
"Oh, there's four," replied a Cubone. "Five if you want to count the Normal setting,"
"So-a, where's Wario?" asked Mario warily.
Wario had been buried several miles below the surface of the Earth.
"Mr. Pikachu, I appreciate that you're scared!" called Peach. "But some day you'll just have to face your fears!"
"You're right," sighed Pikachu, stepping forward again. The stage transformed again, this time it was clean, with several fans in the background.
"Welcome to the Flying area!" greeted a Hoppip.
"Awesome!" cheered Pikachu. "Flying types get frickin' owned by me!"
Chairizard heard this, and punched Pikachu in the face.
"Who the hell is Chairizard?" asked Charizard sceptically.
"Good job, Chairizard..." whispered Pokemon Trainer quietly.
Ivysaur groaned again at the sight of Flying types.
"Flying type stage, huh?" repeated Meta-Knight, smirking confidently. "Looks like me and that stupid little angel kid are in our element!"
Ike walked up to a Skarmory.
"Excuse me, bird robot!" yelled Ike. "Is there some sort of Manly Awesome type in the Pokemon games? Because I need somewhere to just be myself, you know?"
"You're a pig," scoffed Samus scornfully.
Ike gritted his teeth, and glared at Samus angrily.
"Well, after the crappy castle and weird WarioWare place, I guess we've finally found somewhere good to stay!" smiled Yoshi, playing with a local Drifloon.
"You've really quite saids it, mac!" agreed Diddy Kong.
Shadow Moses Island. The Primids had agreed to leave this place untouched, under only one condition: Solid Snake joined them.
Snake had angered the Primids recently, however. Recently in his attempts to capture two Super Smash Brothers named Ness and Marth, he had been overpowered by a third Brother, Captain Falcon.
Luckily, on his return, Snake had been able to capture double what the Primids asked of him. Solid Snake had defeated and imprisioned four Super Smash Brothers in Shadow Moses Island.
One of these Super Smash Brothers, a young boy clad in a green tunic, woke up blearily.
"Oh...my head..." groaned Young Link. "This sucks...I wonder when the others are gonna wake up..."
Young Link looked at his three fallen comrades; a electric baby mouse Pokemon named Pichu, the psychic legendary Mewtwo, and the Pharoe savior Roy. None of them were awake.
"Great," sighed Young Link. "Now I'm going to have to wait until someone else wakes up...if only Mario was here, he could fix us all up. I think he even might have left his old doctor clothes at the old Mansion though..."
Young Link paused. He wasn't the only one awake after all. Someone was standing behind him, a gun pointed straight at his face.
"Hello there, sonny," smirked Solid Snake cockily. Young Link gasped, and Snake immediately pistolwhipped him. A puffy, swollen bruise began forming on Young Link's face. Young Link felt around himself; this was not his first bruise. He looked at his vague reflection in the side of Snake's gun, and gasped.
Snake had horribly disfigured him. His face now looked too big for his body, and his eyes now looked like cat's eyes. His arms and legs now seemed shorter and plumper, and he overall looked more like a cartoon character than a real person.
"What's going on?" asked Young Link, dazed.
"I'm going to ask you something, kid," growled Snake. "And you better answer honestly, or I'm gonna get angry. And you won't like me when I'm angry, believe me."
"Oh of course," smiled Young Link, before muttering, "because I'm head-over-heels in love with you now, you freak..."
"Strike two!" roared Snake, who had heard Young Link's comment. Snake hit Young Link again. "Now tell me, where are the rest of the Super Smash Brothers?"
A ringing noise came from Snake's earpiece.
"Auxiliary call coming in," said a computerised voice.
"Make it quick!" Snake shouted to no-one in particular, and he began to talk to someone else.
Young Link listened intently, but couldn't hear the second voice. Fortunately, he could hear Snake reasonably well, his ears hadn't been affected too badly.
"Oh, you've found more? Excellent...I've only got one over here, I killed the other three. Two Pokemon and a swordsman. Can't be Link, he wasn't there when we searched the old place and caused that molecular separation. Smart guy, that doctor of yours. And it's not Marth, someone was protecting him. Captain Falcon or somebody. Must be Roy, according to the list he gave us," Snake said quietly. "I'll meet you there."
"You killed-" began Young Link, silent tears streaming down his face. Pichu was so young...and Roy had been getting along great with everyone...but Mewtwo's death shocked Young Link the most. He was supposed to be the second-most powerful Pokemon after the god of Pokemon itself, and he was unceremoniously killed while knocked out after an ambush attack on the Mansion. Picturing Mewtwo dead was something Young Link had never been able to do; it was like picturing Kirby refuse a meal.
To Young Link's surprise, Snake threw the gun aside.
"Go, get out of here," said Snake. "I've got bigger things to worry about now."
Young Link silently stood up, and sadly walked away. As he passed Mewtwo, Young Link gasped and clutched his brain; Mewtwo wasn't quite dead yet. Young Link heard Mewtwo's last thoughts in his mind.
"Marth knows...Marth knows about our deaths...he saw Pichu's body...he saw Roy and I fight him...I told him as he left to inform Ness about me...I can only hope Ness believes him...or has even let him tell him the truth...in case Marth has failed...please, tell Ness...tell him I've taught him everything...he needs to know about ESP..."
"I will," Young Link thought back, trying to make himself seem determined rather than scared.
"And remember...death may be a curse...but it can also be a blessing..."
Young Link looked at Pichu, then at Roy, and finally at Kanto's finest, Pokemon #150, Mewtwo, as the eerie purple glow left his eyes.
Okay, this chapter was more serious than funny (especially in the sub-plots), but it's always good to try new things, right?
ZOMFG WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT?! IS THE MAIN PLOT EVEN THE MAIN PLOT ANYMORE?!
Read and review!1 Or I'll kill off your favorite!