MIKE NEWTON THE KING OF EMBARRASSMENT

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns them all.

Name:Dares of Embarrassment

Rating: K

Summary: Exactly what happened when Mike and Tyler were caught by Chief Swan running on the road? And why were they in their birthday suits?

Timeline: Between Twilight and New Moon

BONUS CHAPTER 3: Mike Newton

"I propose we do something," announced Tyler majestically, as he tilted back on his chair. Eric groaned and put his head in his hands. I sighed. Tyler's ideas were never good, let me tell you that. They usually ended up in us getting arrested, or worse, caught in our most embarrassing moments.

"I'm not gonna do it," Eric said with an air of finality.

"You don't even know what it is going to be," smirked Tyler.

"Actually," I piped up. "I think I do have an idea of what it is."

Tyler stuck out his tongue at me in a childish manner. "Fine, spoilbaby. Go and run home to your mommy and daddy."

I glared at him.

Tyler leaned forward. "How about a game of truth and dare?"

"Truth or Dare?" Eric asked, horrorstuck. "No way. That game is for girls!"

Tyler shook his head. "Nah, not that type of Truth or Dare. There's no truth."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"What I mean is," Tyler grinned evilly. "There will be no Truth or Dare. It is Dare or Dare!"

"Oh, no, no, no..." Eric moaned, and put his head in his hands again. "I will not play that stupid game again."

"I'm in," I said bravely.

Eric looked up in panic. Tyler grinned like a maniac.

"Alright," said Tyler. "First dare is: Go to Chief Swan's house and give him a big, wet, sloppy, smoochy kiss. Right on his lips. Second dare: Run around in your nuddy pants. Outside, on the roads."

I paled. Both dares did not sound good. No...

"I choose the second," I said miserably, as I covered my face.

"Now you, Eric," Tyler said, all business-like. "First dare: Run around in your nuddy pants outside with Mike. Second dare: Dress up as a female prostitute tomorrow at school."

Eric's eyes widened to the point of them falling out. Actually, he did look kinda creepy...ugh...

"First dare," Eric said weakly. He turned green, and hugged his arms. "I'll choose the damn first dare."

Tyler laughed. "Excellent!"

Just then something occured to me.

"Hey!" I asked suddenly. "Why aren't you in this stupid game?"

Tyler's grin faltered. "Of course, I'm in this game, Newton! I plan the dares, of course." He looked at me like I was mentally-incompetent. Eric shook my head at me, silently pleading with me to shut my mouth.

"Miserable old imp," I muttered as I stripped down. Eric was red in the face beside me.

"I can't believe I was stupid enough to make friends with you," Eric said in disgust.

"Me?" I exclaimed in shock. "Me? Me? What the hell did I do?"

Eric glowered at me. "You dragged me into this mess."

"I most definitely did not!"

"Did so!"

"Never!"

"Yeah, did so!"

"I certainly didnot!"

"Jeez, stop it," complained Tyler, sticking his fingers in his ears. "You're giving me a migraine!"

I turned bright red and covered my privates. I really couldn't wait till this crazy dare was over.

"Well? Go ahead!" Tyler said impatiently. I wished I could just knock him out there.

"Go and jump into the nearest swamp," Eric snarled. "I hate you, Crowley."

Tyler merely smiled cheerily. "That's the spirit, Yorkie. Now, shoo." Tyler waved his hand impatiently.

Eric glared at him murderously. "You..."

"Dude, just get it over with," I said, irritated. I was getting cold all over and I wanted to get home as soon as I could, and forget all about this.

Just then, Eric's black looks changed completely. He smiled evilly. "Crowley..."

Tyler blinked lazily. "Ya, Yorkie? You're wasting tiiiime."

"Hey, Crowley," said Eric in the same evil voice. "Wanna know something?"

By now, even I was curious. I leaned in closer.

Eric moved closer to Tyler and whispered something in his ear. Tyler's eyes widened and he turned pale.

"How-how...how d-did you know?" whispered Tyler. "Nobody knew...no...nobody..."

Eric grinned. "I have my sources, Crowley."

"Please...please!" Tyler whimpered. "I'll do anything. Just don't tell anyone! Please! It's blackmail!"

"You'll do anything?" Eric said, smiling widely. "Anything? Anything?"

Tyler nodded meekly. "Anything. I'll do your homework. I'll be your personal servant."

Eric shook his head. "Nah, not that." He winked at me. Suddenly, I realized what he meant. Yeah! This was awesome.

"Alright then, Crowley," Eric said coolly. "How about we swap places in this dare? You'll do the running, I'll be the guy making the dares, okay?"

Tyler turned even paler. "Um..."

"Excellent!" Eric said briskly. "Now, remove your clothes. Now."

Tyler mumbled something and started unbuttoning his shirt.

Eric started walking towards the house, and I turned to follow him but he held out a hand and stopped me.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Where do you think you're going, Newton?"

"Coming with you, of course," I said impatiently. I was freezing, dammit! I had to get in the house or else I was gonna turn into a skinny snowman!

Eric grinned widely. "I think you misunderstood me, Mike."

And it was then, that did I realize what that dumb fool meant. No...this wasn't right..no effing way..

"What the hell, Yorkie?" I bellowed. "What the hell?"

Eric nodded mock-sympathetically. "Yup, yuppie-yup. I'm so sorry to tell you this, Mr. Newton, but our schedule is already fixed. You're scheduled to go birthday-suit-hopping with Mr. Crowley in the countryside now. It's unchangeable."

"Hey, I can hear you here," protested Tyler sullenly.

"How dare you!" I trailed off lamely. "How could you?"

Eric smiled politely. "I think it's time the race started. Three, two, one, go. Boo. Now, go." He shoved at me, almost sending me flying into the icy snow. Crazy old idiot.

I heard someone running and I turned around. I saw Tyler racing up the road like a horse who's drunk way too much. I got up quickly and followed suit. I had to finish this insane dare quickly. I needed my warm bed at home.

"Crowley!" I hollered as I struggled to keep up. "Crowley, wait up, you loon!"

"Who's there?" someone shouted. "I repeat, who's there? I warn you, I'm armed! Hands up where I can see them!"

Uh oh.

I knew that voice.

Chief Swan. It belonged to Charlie Swan, Bella Swan's father and the ultimate police chief. Oh, this was a total "O-M-G" moment for me. Give me a moment to scream out 'sodding hell' in my head.

Sodding hell!

There. It's done.

The police chief approached us cautiously as if we were one of those rabid moose that had abducted Jessica in her bedroom [or so as she claimed] and caused her to land in a vat of trouble with her mom.

Charlie flashed his flashlight at me, momentarily blinding me. I lifted my hands to shield my eyes from the glare of the light. Just then, the light fell on my body.

Oh...

No!

I practically fainted there on the spot. I heard Tyler giggling like a girl beside me, and I moved my hands back to my bottom region so that my ...privates were well-covered.

"What is the meaning of this, Crowley, Newton?" roared Chief Swan. "Running around in the middle of the night and without clothes too! You'll have to be extremely lucky if I don't haul you idiots up to the police station and offer you a permanent cell!"

"I..." Tyler trailed off. "We...we were just carrying out a dare."

Great. That's so great, Crowley. Tattle about everything to the Chief, will ya? Well, go ahead. I'm freezing here in case you didn't notice.

"A dare?" Chief Swan swelled up like a frog. "This-this...is all for a dare?"

Tyled nodded meekly.

Chief Swan looked like he was gonna spontaneously combust at any moment. "Go home. Now. Now, before I decide to take you to the police station!"

We didn't hesitate.

Tyler and I ran like the wind, and we only stopped when Tyler's home came into view.

"Jesus!" Tyler wheezed as he tried to catch his breath. "That was close!"

"It was," I agreed. Just then Tyler turned pale. He stared at behind me.

"He isn't doing this!" whimpered Tyler. "He isn't! I swear, I'll murder that fool!"

Who?

I turned around. And there, grinning like a Hallowe'en pumpkin, was Eric Yorkie, waving at us. He was fully dressed, but I wasn't interested in that fact.

No, I was interested in the fact that he was holding a video camera in his hands. And guess what? It was recording. The blinking red light proved that fact to be true.

Oh...no...no...no...Mom'll strangle me...

"Hey, guys!" said Eric cheerfully. "This is so going on YouTube! What do you guys think?"

More than 299 views = 1 more chapter

Note to those who all reviewed for the last few chapters: I would like to say "thank you" to you all! You've been amazing, and one of the reasons why I've been writing these difficult chapters. Hopefully I haven't offended you in any of these chapters...and I do know that there are heaps of blackmail [hint: Tyler and Eric] in this chapter...Also, I have no idea of what Eric told Tyler to make him swap places, so it's up to your imagination.

F.A.Q:

Q1) Did somebody set up Lauren in the previous chapter? Or was it an actual model agency? [Question by Megan () ]

A: I'm afraid you'll have to wait for the next chapter. You'll find out the answer soon!

Q2) Doesn't it seem like the Cullens are bullying Mike and Jessica too much?

A: I do know that the Cullens and Bella seem OOC in most of the chapters, and I'm still trying to improve on my writing. I'll try to stop making the Cullens seem like bullies, but I can't promise anything. And besides, Jessica's a mean girl and she deserves being bullied a bit. I don't know about Mike though.

Q3) Do you have something against moose?

A: No, I don't. I couldn't think of some phobia suitable for Jessica, so I chose randomly and hence, moose came first. And I don't have some fear of moose, by the way.

Q4) How many chapters are going to be there in this fanfiction?

A: I plan to have about forty or more. I'm considering writing a sequel.

Q5) What will the future chapters be about?

A: Well, we've finished the Pre-Twilight chapters, Twilight chapters, New Moon chapters, some Eclipse chapters, haven't we? A few more Eclipse chapters are coming up, and I'll probably add some Post-Eclipse chapters. And after them, the Breaking Dawn chapters will come. And after those, Post-Breaking Dawn chapters. Cheers.

In the upcoming Eclipse chapters, they will mostly center around Mike and Jessica [and maybe Lauren, Angela and Ben too] during the last days before graduation. Heck, maybe I'll add their point of views of the graduation!

In the Post-Eclipse chapters, I'll be writing about Lauren, Jessica, Mike and maybe a few other characters' point of views when they get Edward and Bella's wedding invitations. I'm sure they'll be very interesting to write.

In the Breaking Dawn chapters, they will most center around Mike, Jessica, Angela, Ben, Charlie and maybe a few other characters when they get snippets of news about what is going on at the Cullen house. Feel free to ask me if you have any questions about this.

In the Post-Breaking Dawn chapters, it'll be about Mike, Jessica, Angela and Ben. Maybe Lauren too. Oh, and there will be loads of pranks! Yeah!

There will also be the bonus chapters, like this one.

Q6) We've sent you, like, millions of ideas for pranking Mike, Jess and Lauren! Why haven't you even used them?

A: Oh, please don't think like that! I've been saving them up for the Post-Breaking Dawn chapters actually. I'm really grateful to you guys for sharing your ideas! And I can guarantee, there will be a lot of pranks in the Post-Breaking Dawn chapters!

Q7) Why aren't you replying to our reviews?

A: I never have enough time. But before going to school, I check the mail and see your reviews. And let me tell you this: they are amazing! Your encouraging is wonderful, and it's helped me write this fanfic! Thank you, again!

Q8) Why aren't you updating regularly?

A: Like I said, I never have enough time. Also, I have to write other stories too. But I'll try to update quickly.

Q9) We've noticed in the early chapters that Mike sounds kind of like a little girl. Why is this so?

A: That's because I was still new to the amazing Twilight Saga, and to this cool website too. I was young at that time too [only twelve years old! Shocking!]. I apologize if you were offended by Mike's girlish dialogue.

Q10) Why are you writing this 'interview'?

A: I wanted to answer some of your doubts, so therefore I set this up. I hope it answers some of your questions/doubts

Feel free to ask me questions or send me funny pranking ideas! :D

My fingers hurt from typing all day, so I'm gonna stop for now.

xoxo, Pistis Sophia [formerly BookFanatic1997]