Hi everybody, and a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Sorry it's been forever... I really wanted to get this to you guys by Christmas, but the holidays were even more hectic than I was expecting. Baby's first Christmas was amazing, and I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season as well! Now, on we go...
Thanks again to shasta53 for help editing :)
Newborn - EPOV
With one final glance in my direction – a look filled with both reassurance and apology – Jasper began his story. He knew what I was afraid of, of course he knew. He could feel my fear. Not since that first day when I'd brought Bella home and told her about our history had I been so afraid of frightening her away with too much truth. She'd teased me that I was waiting for her to scream and run away, and while she'd always assured me I wasn't as much of a monster as I made myself out to be, there was no denying that, at least for a time, Jasper had been. There was more murder and bloodshed in his history than the rest of us combined. Even in my darkest days, I hadn't been a part of anything anywhere near as atrocious as the things Jasper had been surrounded by on a daily basis.
Bella had heard Rosalie's story, and while it was brutal and terrible, what she'd experienced only showed the horrors that man was capable of. Jasper's history encompassed the worst of our kind. As he spoke, I watched her expression carefully, ready to stop him the moment I thought it was too much for her. She needed to understand where he was coming from, but I could hear all that Jasper was prepared to confess. There was no need to give her more nightmares than she already had.
He spoke carefully, reading Bella's emotions as much as I was reading her expression. He painted the picture of the world as it was, as it still is for so many of our kind. A world where humans are nothing more than our food source, red dots on a map as he put it, highlighting the most populated, and therefore most desirable areas. The more humans in one area, the easier it is to feed without anyone noticing.
Like Seattle, he added silently, his eyes flickering for an instant in my direction. I wish it wasn't starting to feel so much like the old days, believe me. But I know how they think. If someone had suddenly tried to claim such a busy city as their own, then why not build an army to defend it? And with humans always finding some explanation, no matter how mysterious the deaths, even an army isn't really risking exposure.
"Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not," he said, both continuing his story aloud, and finishing his silent thoughts to me. I didn't want to admit it, but it all made too much sense. And if it was an army of newborns we were up against, I wasn't sure we would be able to stop them before the Volturi stepped in.
"It's the Volturi that keep them in check," Jasper said, having come to the same conclusion as myself. And thank goodness for that, he thought, then quickly added, sorry when he felt my anxiety. Jasper had always been grateful for the existence of the Volturi, and even knowing that they would come to destroy us, to destroy Bella, couldn't take away his respect for them.
"They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed." He was still speaking to Bella, but for a moment it felt more like he was defending his feelings toward the Volturi to me. To some extent I could understand. With all the horrors he'd seen, it must have granted him at least a certain amount of peace, knowing there was an end – that there were still rules and limits to what would be tolerated among the power-crazed, ravenous villains he lived with.
Bella listened silently, her breathing steady but shallow, as Jasper explained how different the covens in the South are, compared to those who live up North. They truly lived as vampires, the kind from humans' stories and legends. They came out at night, and had no regard for human life. I kept watching, gauging her reactions, but her expression remained undeniably relaxed, and it wasn't until Jasper spoke of war that she spoke.
"But what are they fighting for?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
"Remember the map with the red dots?" he asked her. She nodded nervously, and Jasper sensed how greatly I wanted him to stop.
She's fine, Edward. I've been keeping a steady calm flowing in her direction, but she barely needs it anymore. She's... fascinated.
Of course she was. When was I ever going to learn that Bella handled the realities of our world far better than I gave her credit for? Still, the way Jasper had been speaking – and I'd appreciated his doing so – everything had sounded distant and story-like. It wasn't until he gave a name to one of the characters, that I saw a flicker of fear in Bella's eyes. When Jasper explained the way Benito had wiped out several covens for the sole purpose of claiming the most populated cities for his personal feeding ground, I heard Bella's heart start to race.
"How did he win?" she asked, voice shaking.
"Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control."
I instinctively took at step closer to Bella, anticipating a reaction, though I still wasn't sure what it would be. Would she be scared, knowing that such a thing as a newborn army could exist, and that it was very likely what was causing so many deaths in Seattle? Would she be upset that I'd never told her about any of this? Would she be wondering what her first years would be like, and whether or not she would be as wild and unstoppable as those Jasper was describing?
I waited, yet she said nothing. On the surface, she remained the picture of composure. If it weren't for her pounding heart and uneven breathing, I might have believed she was completely unfazed. Jasper told her about the subsequent armies created to battle the army that had already done so much damage. He told her of one of the darkest times in vampires' long history. He told her everything, and she listened with what appeared to be a sort of morbid curiosity.
It didn't escape my notice that Bella visibly flinched every time Jasper mentioned the Volturi, and with good reason. Thinking about them was surely the most difficult part of the story, because while perhaps she could picture, to some extent, the things Jasper had described, the Volturi were already very real to Bella. And while I could assure her we would know long before they came for her, she still feared them above all else.
Still, the Volturi had done their part, and even I had to agree with Jasper when he explained to Bella that we owed them for our present way of life. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened if they hadn't stepped in when those first wars broke out. No city would have been safe, and vampires wouldn't have remained merely legends. All mankind would have known what we were and what we sought. Every human would have feared for their life, yet because of the Volturi, we remain hidden – those like my family and I even able to interact with them in something resembling a normal life.
I think she already knows what I'm about to say, Jasper suddenly thought, bringing my attention momentarily away from Bella. He looked me in the eyes for one split second before continuing.
"The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue..."
Then, just as Jasper had predicted, recognition set in.
"That's how you were changed," Bella whispered.
"Yes."
I wanted to tell him to stop, to leave it at that, but what had been started needed to be finished. Bella's curiosity was piqued. How could someone who was created for the purpose Jasper was end up with a family like ours – protecting human life rather than taking it without thought?
As Jasper continued, I found myself in dire need of a distraction, so I went back to counting Bella's heartbeats. He spoke only briefly about his time with the Confederate Army. He, like myself, had been caught up in the idea of it, romanticized as it had been. Because of his gifts, he'd done particularly well. It was also likely that the main reason the vampires who changed him had singled him out was because they sensed what he was capable of. Over time, he'd learned to embrace his gift, but in the beginning, he'd had plenty of reason to resent it. Jasper had gone over that night thousands of times in his mind, yet I could still hear the bitterness in his voice as he described it to Bella.
"He looks right – young, strong, an officer..." they'd said. "And there's something more... do you sense it? He's... compelling."
They chose me because they knew what a powerful addition to their group I would prove to be. They could feel that I was special, even when I was just a weak human. Why couldn't I have been like the rest?
Jasper had long ago come to terms with the hand he'd been dealt. Most of the time he was actually very happy. He had Alice, and he knew that if his life had followed a normal path, he never would have found her. Still, even the most content of us couldn't help but wonder, what if? What if he'd been just another soldier – would they still have chosen him if they hadn't felt what he was capable of? What if he'd never joined the army to begin with – where would his human life have taken him?
As Jasper spoke of the moments just before his life was ended, I felt him send out a wave of calm energy, and for the first time since he'd started his story, I wondered if it was more for his own sake than for Bella's. Whenever any of us thought about our transformations, it was hard not to remember the pain in violent detail, and it almost seemed as if he were trying to numb himself before speaking the words out loud. No amount of calm emanating from him, however, could fully keep the panic I was feeling at bay. I'd always been very vague about the process with Bella, and even though it was only fair for her to know exactly what was going to happen to her if she followed through with her plans, somehow, I wasn't quite ready for her to hear it.
I was about to interrupt, but of course Jasper was one step ahead. He felt my hesitation, or my nerves, and let out a quiet sigh. Fine. But the more prepared she is, the easier it will be for her.
"A few days later," he continued, "...I was introduced to my new life."
I knew the next part of Jasper's story was the most difficult for him to talk about, and it didn't surprise me when he glazed over certain details. During his early years, he was an integral part of Maria's army, learning to fight and training the other newborns as well. He was rewarded often, and of course there was only one type of reward a newborn vampire was interested in – blood. Jasper refrained from saying the word out loud, not only for Bella's sake but for his own as well. Even after all his years with our family, a part of him would always miss the freedom that came from feeding according to our nature rather than our conscience. The degree to which it pained him to abstain was his darkest secret, and only I truly knew what a daily struggle it was. Alice understood to a point, but when Jasper was tempted, all she saw was the final outcome. She could see when things were difficult for him but she always saw him stopping himself before he went too far. She didn't hear the battle raging inside the way I did.
It didn't escape my notice that whenever Jasper spoke of the rewards he'd been given, he found himself more aware than usual of how appealing Bella's blood was. I instinctively moved closer to her, ready to defend her against him as I'd once had to do, but he shook his head almost invisibly and let another wave of calm wash over the room.
I'm in control, Edward. I promise you, no amount of thirst will disarm me like that ever again, at least not where Bella is concerned. I'll never forgive myself for all the pain that one moment of weakness cost the two of you, and I won't ever allow it to happen again.
I relaxed when I heard the sincerity of his words, mirrored by the absolute determination in his mind. As the minutes passed, I stopped waiting for Jasper to lose control or for Bella to hear something that was too much for her, and when I was finally able to do that, I found myself captivated by Jasper's words. I'd heard the story countless times through the medium of his thoughts, but it was so rare to hear him speak any part of it out loud that I became entranced.
It always amazed me that Jasper had developed a conscience, as we called it, considering the way he lived. Even after so many years with us, he thought since it was so much more difficult for him to abstain than the rest of the family, that meant we were somehow better than him, yet nothing could be farther from the truth. The fact that he'd lived through so much violence, war, and bloodshed, that he had come away with anything left of his humanity was astonishing.
Jasper spoke very briefly of the bond he'd developed with Maria, but for Alice's sake, he left out certain details. He spoke of their years on conquest, claiming city after city for their own, and of all the newborns lost in the various fights. I wondered if he realized that with each memory of a fallen comrade, he traced his fingers along the scars on his arms.
Maria and Jasper had lived as each other's mates for many years, though Jasper always believed she only stayed with him because of his ability and his skills as a fighter. It was probably the only reason he was able to leave so easily when the opportunity for a new way of life presented itself. When Jasper explained that it had eventually been his responsibility to dispose of the newborns when they were no longer needed, I heard Bella gasp. I took a step closer to her, eyes wide, silently pleading with Jasper not to go on.
She's troubled, but it's coming from concern and empathy for me, not fear, Jasper assured me. I forced myself to relax again, but was thankful when he moved on quickly, focusing on his time with one of the surviving, more civilized newborns. When Peter couldn't take their way of life anymore, Jasper had allowed him to make his escape. It was the first time he'd defied Maria. As soon as he began talking about the day Peter had come back for him, his expression softened and I knew the worst was over.
"Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem. In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion of as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance."
It was the first time I saw a glimpse of our future together, Alice thought to herself as a smile lit up her face. I still had a long wait ahead of me, but that was the decision that would eventually lead him to me. Everything was so much better once I knew he was coming.
Jasper couldn't hear her words but he could certainly feel her love, making it easier to talk about those final years of his old life – before he found Alice, before everything changed. He could still remember in agonizing detail every life he'd taken. He told Bella how it was so much worse for him because he could feel everything his victims felt. She gazed at him with empathy and understanding in her eyes, and I loved her all the more for it. Jasper was telling her in brutal honesty about the lives he'd taken, yet the emotion on her face was nothing but pity for the way he'd suffered.
"I tried to kill less often," he explained, almost an apology, though Bella was anything but accusatory, "but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline... challenging. I still haven't perfected that."
I was expecting the usual onslaught of guilty thoughts and self-loathing, but it never came. Maybe he was finally starting to realize none of us ever expected an apology for the life he left behind. Instead, Jasper's mind went straight to the diner where he'd first met Alice. He remembered the look on her face that day in perfect clarity. In his mind, she was perfection – an angel sitting alone, waiting for him. His memory of that first moment was so personal, so intimate, I felt as if I were intruding by listening to it.
"I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day – something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little. She was there – expecting me, naturally."
Then, for the first time since he'd started his tragic story, Jasper's face lit up and he laughed quietly. "She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me. It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before."
I was already in love with you, silly, she thought. I smiled, wishing for just one moment that Jasper could be the mind reader, though I was sure Alice had told him many times. For her, their love story had begun long before they met.
"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said." Jasper grinned as he quoted Alice's first words to him, and I wondered if he noticed the way she mouthed them right along with him. Alice had been inching closer to Jasper, needing to be close to him but not wanting to interrupt until it was time for her part of the story. She stopped a few steps away from Bella and gazed at Jasper with a mixture of playful affection and the deep, undeniable passion they shared.
"And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am,'" Alice said, laughing.
My own personal savior, Jasper thought, staring at Alice. Waiting, ready to help me make this miserable existence worthwhile. "You held out your hand," he continued, reaching out to her as he spoke, "and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."
"I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up," she said with a smile.
They stared at each other for a long moment, and although Bella couldn't hear their silent declarations of love as I could, I knew she could see it in their eyes. There was something so pure and beautiful in the way they watched each other, and I had to admit that for many decades I'd been jealous of what they shared. Whether I hadn't considered myself worthy or simply doubted that a match as perfect as Alice was for Jasper existed for me, I never imagined someone would look at me that way. Yet somehow I'd found Bella, who – impossibly, wonderfully – stared at me with much the same look in her eyes.
"Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family," Jasper continued. "I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."
"Scared the hell out of them, too," I teased, seeing that day again through Carlisle's memory. I still wish I'd been there to see it myself. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak," I laughed, reaching over to Alice, "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."
Jasper and Alice laughed, both reliving the day that changed everything for them.
I'd already seen Carlisle invite us to stay, asking just seemed redundant.
I smiled at her. She'd never been one for formalities. "When I got home, all my things were in the garage."
"Your room had the best view," she said with a shrug, and I joined in their laughter.
"That's a nice story," Bella said, stopping us all in our tracks.
And you were worried she'd run screaming, Alice thought sarcastically.
Your girlfriend, the eternal optimist, Jasper added, shaking his head in wonderment.
"I mean the last part," she explained sheepishly. "The happy ending with Alice."
"Alice has made all the difference. This is a climate I enjoy." Without her, where would I be?
It was something we thankfully would never have to consider, though I think Jasper and I both knew the answer. While his conscience had been troubled over the way he was living, without Alice leading him to Carlisle, he never would have known he had another option besides killing and living with the guilt.
I still don't understand why I didn't see anything, Alice thought dejectedly, bringing me abruptly back to the present and reminding me what this was all about. "An army. Why didn't you tell me?"
We all turned our attention back to Jasper, who was still trying to make sense of it in his mind.
"I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either, no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there's no one to fight for it. No one to defend it from. But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long."
I moved closer to Bella, her breath catching at the mention of the Volturi, as I listened to the thoughts around me. His story at an end, Jasper once again had the entire family's attention. What we were discussing now involved us all, and everyone was struggling to find a solution.
"What can we do?" Carlisle asked. I don't want this to end in a fight, but surely it needs to end somehow.
"If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement," Jasper said, glancing quickly and determinedly in my direction, "we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon." Edward, I know Carlisle won't like it, and if we can do this without him, we will. Maybe we can get help from Tanya. "I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out."
Emmett was already getting excited, thoughts racing through all the ways we could corner them. But my mind had already started to form a very different picture.
"Maybe we won't have to," I said dismally. "Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is... us?"
You honestly think any vampire out there sees us as a threat when we aren't even in competition with them for human blood? Jasper asked.
I nodded almost invisibly. The fact that we didn't partake of the same food source wouldn't matter to whoever started this. If they'd heard rumors about our chosen diet, which seemed unlikely, chances are they wouldn't believe it. Even James' coven had been skeptical until they had seen it for themselves.
"Tanya's family is also near," Esme whispered, trying to deny what suddenly seemed so obvious to me. Of course she wouldn't want to believe that we were inadvertently the cause of what had turned into an abhorrent amount of bloodshed, but it seemed the most likely explanation.
"The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme," I said as kindly as I could. "I think we have to consider the idea that we are the targets."
"They're not coming after us," Alice said with more confidence than her thoughts betrayed. "Or... they don't know that they are. Not yet." Then again, what do I know? I didn't even see that it was an army. Alice had never been very forgiving of herself when things slipped through the cracks, and admittedly, I hadn't helped matters any by making her feel personally responsible where Bella's future was concerned.
I was about to apologize and tell her than anything she sees, no matter how insignificant, is helpful, when I was bombarded by a sea of images. They were unclear, blurry almost, as if they were changing so fast she couldn't make sense of them.
"What is that?" I asked. "What are you remembering?"
"Flickers," she said, trying to concentrate but coming up short. "I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can't get a good view..."
"Indecision?" Jasper asked. That can't be right. Newborns act on pure instinct. Decision or indecision shouldn't come into play at all.
"I don't know..." she said, closing her eyes as she tried even harder to focus. Can you see what I'm missing? she asked me silently, desperately. Can you please make sense of it all before it drives me mad?
"Not indecision," I snapped, realization setting in. "Knowledge. Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision."
"Who would know that?"
It was all starting to feel like a sadistic game, and there was one person I could think of who absolutely loved games. "Aro knows you as well as you know yourself," I said coldly.
"But I would see if they'd decided to come..."
But that was exactly the point. They hadn't decided to come. "Unless they didn't want to get their hands dirty," I said dryly. I was surprised when it was Rosalie who understood first.
Of course. "A favor," she said, almost to herself. "Someone in the South... someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance – if they take care of this one small problem... That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response."
"Why?" Carlisle gasped. Even though he knew perfectly well what they were capable of, Carlisle still liked to believe that the Volturi were inherently just, and that while their methods were extreme, in their minds they were merely protecting vampire laws. He didn't want to think that they could be capable of wiping out an entire family without cause. Of course, he hadn't heard Aro's thoughts. He didn't understand how consumed with power he was, and how fearful he'd become of the growing strength of Carlisle's family.
"There's no reason for the Volturi – " he started to argue.
"It was there," I said softly, wishing I didn't have to say the words out loud, wishing he could just hear what I'd heard and understand that the Volturi are only ever looking out for themselves. "I'm surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him."
He wants to destroy us to get to you and Alice? he thought. That makes no sense. He must know you'd never follow him if he took your family away from you.
I shook my head minutely, looking into his eyes as I continued. "I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan – he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having... not more than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they've ever found..."
No. This can't be right, the Volturi wouldn't pick a fight out of jealousy... He was trying to find a way around it, but beneath Carlisle's attempt to deny what I was telling him, even he was starting to see that it made sense.
"They're too committed to their mission," he tried to argue. "They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for."
"They'll clean up afterward." It would all be too easy. Whatever story they told, there would be no choice but to believe. Without us or whoever they end up sending to take us down, to question them, things will return to normal. "A double betrayal," I added, almost hearing Aro say the words himself. "No harm done."
"No," Jasper said, his thoughts as definitive as Carlisle's. He'd seen first hand the complete obliteration the Volturi were capable of, but he also didn't believe they would attack unprovoked. "Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This... person, this threat – they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it." I've seen the way the Volturi work, Edward. They're efficient. Seattle is a disaster. They'd never leave the kind of mess behind. "I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be."
He's right, Carlisle thought, staring intently at me, willing me to believe as they did. I know you're afraid of them for Bella's sake, and I know you've seen things I haven't seen... but this isn't their doing. However, I'm positive they won't like what's happening right now and it won't be allowed to go on much longer.
The rest of my family seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, but it was only Emmett who spoke it out loud. They were all trying not to say anything that would frighten Bella, but he was far too excited by the idea of finally getting to take action.
"Then let's go," he shouted. "What are we waiting for?"
I watched only Carlisle in that moment, hearing, knowing the kind of pain this was causing him. No matter how necessary in a situation like this, violence was always difficult for him to fathom when he'd spent centuries trying to protect life in all forms. Yet what was bothering him even more now was the idea of us launching at attack on an unknown source.
We don't know who it is, or where they came from. If they were created and then simply set loose, of course their instincts would have taken over. Perhaps with time, they could be reasoned with. If they knew there was another way...
But even as he tried to rationalize it, he knew it was impossible. There was only one way this was going to end, and when he finally accepted that, he thought the three words that made all the difference.
For our family.
I nodded as I listened to his entire mindset change. "We'll need you to teach us, Jasper," he said, determined. "How to destroy them." He spoke with confidence, but I could hear how difficult it still was for him.
I glanced over at Bella, part of me afraid of what I would see in her eyes, but needing to know she was okay. Her brows were pulled together as if she was concentrating hard on something, though I couldn't imagine what in all this she needed to think about. Her only job was to stay safe, and we were going to make certain that happened.
"We're going to need help," Jasper said. "Do you think Tanya's family would be willing...? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid."
"We'll ask," Carlisle said, though the thought of involving anyone who didn't need to be was bothering his conscience.
"We'll need to hurry," Jasper said, handing him the phone. Carlisle took it hesitantly and made the call just out of hearing range for Bella. I took her hand in mine, needing her warmth, her presence more than I'd realized. We sat on the loveseat together while I listened intently to Carlisle's conversation.
Tanya answered and I tried to ignore her not at all subtle inquiry as to how I was doing. Carlisle lumped me in with rest of the family, simply stating that we had all found ourselves in a difficult situation. They'd heard what was going on in Seattle so he only had to briefly explain what he was asking them. He hadn't really wanted or expected them to agree to help, but what Tanya told him shocked us both.
"You know I'd love to offer our assistance in anything, Carlisle, but I'm afraid in this instance I do have to include one condition. It's something that's caused a bit of a problem for my family, and I would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to try to fix it."
"I'm listening. You know I'll help in any way I can."
"Well, against my better judgment, Irina and Laurent became... involved during his time with us. She was quite upset to say the least when the wolves took him down defending that human you all are so fond of." Her voice had turned bitter, and my jaw clenched as I understood what she was about to ask.
"Oh," Carlisle said, stunned. "We didn't realize... that Irina felt that way."
"Damn it," I snapped. "Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs."
Bella was gaping at me. "Laurent?" she whispered, terrified. I wanted to explain but while I could already see where the conversation was going, I needed to hear the words. It was all so ridiculous that it should come to a vendetta against the wolves, one that, because of both Bella and the treaty, we couldn't allow them to settle.
"Filthy, disgusting creatures or not," Tanya explained, "it's not our place to take our revenge on the pack since they were in fact defending a member of your family." I could almost see her rolling her eyes as she said the word, baffled at how we'd welcomed a human so completely into our world.
"Surely you're not asking our permission?" Carlisle said, forcing his tone to remain calm. Like myself, he didn't want to believe it had come to this – our closest allies unwilling to help us unless they first destroyed our closest, yet untouchable, enemies.
"That's exactly what I'm asking," she snapped. "And if you ask me, I think we're making you a pretty good deal. You're not allowed to take care of your wolf problem, but we are. Just say the word. Those we leave alive will never know it had anything to do with you."
"There's no question of that," Carlisle said firmly. "We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and neither will we. I'm sorry to hear that..."
"That they killed Irina's mate? That she's been inconsolable ever since it happened? You must understand how she feels, Carlisle."
"Of course. We'll just have to do our best alone."
He hung up quickly, mixed feelings about knowing we would be on our own. He hadn't wanted to involve anyone else, but he was afraid for his family, and would have gladly accepted the help if they were willing.
"What's the problem?" Emmett asked me, staring at Carlisle and trying to read his expression.
"Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She's holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants – " I paused, looking into Bella's eyes. Even though we'd refused, I hated to say the words, knowing how much it would upset her.
"Go on," she urged me nervously.
I took a deep breath. "She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission."
"No!" she yelled.
"Don't worry," I promised her. "Carlisle would never agreed to it." I paused, knowing that no matter what I felt toward the pack, I would always be in their debt for saving Bella when I wasn't there to. "Nor would I," I sighed. "Laurent had it coming, and I still owe the wolves for that." She relaxed slightly, though I could still see the terror in her eyes.
I don't like this at all, Jasper thought, his mind racing through all the possibilities. He knew better than any of us what we were up against, and he had been hoping we would have the assistance of Tanya's family. "This isn't good," he said, almost to himself. "It's too even a fight. We'd have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?" He glanced for the briefest of seconds at Alice. Without her, I'm nothing.
With that, it all started to sink in. My family was about to take on something bigger than we'd ever faced together, and the hardest part was that it wasn't even our fight. Yet to keep the Volturi away, what choice did we have? I tried not to see the fear in Bella's eyes, but it was unmistakable. She'd heard Jasper, and seen the way he looked at Alice. She knew there was a chance someone would be lost.
For the first time, I had a flash of fear for my own life. Not because I was afraid of what it would mean, that I might finally find out the true fate of our souls. I was afraid because I'd made a promise to Bella. I told her I'd never leave her again, that I would always be there to protect her. As I stared at her, the one who had made all the difference, I knew I would fight with every ounce of strength in my being, and nothing would stop me from coming home to her.
I'd be damned before any army, no matter how strong, made me break my promise.