Okay, so like I said at the end of the last chapter, the next couple of chapters are going to be subplot-only (as strange at that sounds). For more details, check last chapter. Yeah, do it. NOW.
Rebuilding
Chapter 18: In Which Too Much Stuff Happens
Mr. Game and Watch looked on in amazement, as Jigglypuff wreaked havoc and destruction upon the Primid invaders of Mirage Island. He knew that when Jigglypuffs get threatened, they inflate themselves but he had never quite realised what exactly they do once inflated.
"Mental note, never annoy the pink one," said Mr. Game and Watch to himself, smirking slightly.
Mr. Game and Watch was quite content to sit back and watch the carnage, but something even more surprising than Jigglypuff's killing rampage occurred.
His Game Boy Horror – some useless peripheral given to him by his good friend Luigi – was vibrating profusely. Mr. Game and Watch turned on the small device, bewildered.
"H-hello?" called Mr. Game and Watch warily. "Luigi? Are you alive, is this you?"
"Game and Watch!" yelled Luigi's voice. Mr. Game and Watch supposed that Luigi must have been trying to contact him for a while. "Jigglypuff! Can either of you hear me?"
"Luigi, where are you?!" asked Mr. Game and Watch, confused.
"I'm on the roof of some skyscraper in the Pokemon world!" replied Luigi. "I messed around with my Game Boy Horror to boost the signal so I can find more Smashers! I've rigged a teleporter in the building I'm on; the place is filled with 'em!"
"Well get us out of here!" barked Mr. Game and Watch. "Jigs and I are on some island with these weird blue Pokemon, how are you going to teleport us?"
"Are they Wynauts?" asked Luigi's voice.
Mr. Game and Watch remembered something Jigglypuff told him.
"Y-yeah, I think so..." mused Mr. Game and Watch. Quickly saving face, he continued, "Why the hell does that matter?"
"Wynauts are psychic!" said Luigi. "Read about 'em on a computer here! That island is filled with psychic energy, it basically is a giant teleporter! That's why it's Mirage Island!"
"Um, okay..." replied Mr. Game and Watch. "So I'll just wait for Jigglypuff to finish her...buisness..."
"And Game and Watch?" asked Luigi uncertainly.
"What?" asked Mr. Game and Watch.
"Have you heard from any...other Smashers?" asked Luigi timidly. "Maybe, I don't know, um...P-"
"-each?" finished Mr. Game and Watch, rolling his eyes. "No, dammit. Get over her already."
"Over her?" Luigi gave a high, false laugh. "She's just a friend, honestly!"
"Yeah, a friend you're hopelessly in love with," sighed Mr. Game and Watch.
"Y-you shut up!" stammered Luigi.
Mr. Game and Watch lowered the Game Boy Horror, and turned to the still-inflated Jigglypuff.
"Come on Jigs, we're leaving this island!" beckoned Mr. Game and Watch.
"The darkness permeates your souls, and I shall be the one to vanquish it forever," Jigglypuff boomed to the Primid's dead bodies, as if to warn anything else in the area.
"Hurry up, Luigi, fix us that teleporter where ever you are!" panted Mr. Game and Watch into the Game Boy Horror.
"Few more seconds," said Luigi sadly, accompanied by a small cry.
"Give it up!" snarled Mr. Game and Watch. "Peach chose Mario, you're the sidekick, deal with it!"
"Don't ever call me that again," said Luigi roughly, and Mr. Game and Watch winced. For a moment, he wasn't sure who to be more afraid of: Luigi or Jigglypuff.
"I have defeated the Primids, and it will be known that the SSB shall not be stopped by such meagre efforts," said Jigglypuff triumphantly.
Jigglypuff ran out of air and returned to normal.
"Hi Luigi!" smiled Jigglypuff cutely, in her normal high-pitched voice.
"Shut up," said Mr. Game and Watch and Luigi simultaneously.
"Awww..." sighed Jigglypuff.
"Okay guys, ready!" called Luigi. "Three, two..."
"Now!" cried Mr. Game and Watch.
"But what about the b-" began Jigglypuff.
She was silenced, as she and Mr. Game and Watch were sent into a swirling vortex of colour and sound, teleporting using the psychic energy of the Wynauts – as the Subspace bomb's timer ran out, destroying Mirage Island and everything on it within seconds as the two Smashers escaped safely.
Mr. Game and Watch and Jigglypuff tumbled off of the teleporter panel into Silph Co's seventh floor. Luigi was waiting there with bated breath, and when he saw that the teleportation worked, he gave a sigh of relief.
"That was pretty close, guys!" said Luigi, helping Jigglypuff to her feet.
Mr. Game and Watch winced as he stood up, and glowered at Luigi.
"Dammit Luigi, you nearly had us killed!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch.
Luigi looked down sadly.
"But you didn't..." sighed Mr. Game and Watch. "Thanks..."
"That's alright," said Luigi, smiling faintly. "I just wish we knew where the others were..."
"What happened to me?" asked Jigglypuff, not listening to either of tha dum boiz. "The last thing I remember was a bunch of red goo!"
Jigglypuff coughed up her larynx.
"Ow, my voice!" whined Jigglypuff.
"So what was there a bomb doing in Mirage Island anyway?" asked Luigi with mild interest. "I thought those things were attacking Kanto first..."
"The hell is Kanto?" asked Mr. Game and Watch bluntly.
Young Link panted, and stopped running for a second. He'd been running for ages, to escape from Shadow Moses Island. Luckily he had managed to find a small boat to get him to the mainland, however the bloodstains on the boat had led Young Link to work out that it was the boat that agent man must have used to transport the bodies of his fallen comrades...
Shaking his blonde hair out of his now-overlarge eyes, Young Link winced and headed into the small city he had now reached. The buildings, signs, everything was covered in pictures of a fat man with captions, "Welcome to New Pork City".
Young Link wondered where New Pork City was, before he heard a cold voice laugh at the sign from behind him.
"Well, how amusing. I may just keep one of these posters after I destroy this place," chuckled the voice. Young Link turned, a trembling hand flying to his sword.
"Well, came from Shadow Moses Island, huh?" asked the voice. "If Snake didn't kill you, but you're injured, you must be a Super Smash Brother! Looks like he damaged you pretty damn good! Excellent, you're alone, he must have killed all the others he took. That went according to plan,"
"W-what plan?" stammered Young Link, terrified.
"Well I'm what's known as The Ancient Minister," revealed the Ancient Minister. "And I'm going to be the one to put a stop to the elitists who call themselves – "
The Ancient Minister spat a black fluid on the ground.
"- the Super Smash Brothers..."
"But our tournament's not a religious thing!" cried Young Link without thinking. "Please, don't baptise me! Don't report me to Jack Thompson, I beg you!"
The Ancient Minister stared at Young Link.
Young Link hastily shut his mouth.
"Anyway, if my good friend Snake can handle three fighters, I wonder how that compares to my other friend..." wondered the Ancient Minister, placing a call.
Nugget Bridge, just north of Cerulean City, used to be a popular location for Pokemon trainers. However, once the Primids attacked, everyone who hadn't been killed had taken cover either in the city, or in the Unknown Dungeon. Those who had taken refuge in the Unknown Dungeon had hoped that the legendary Pokemon Mewtwo would return from his mysterious disappearance to save them from the Primid attack, but no-one had heard anything about Mewtwo.
The only person around Nugget Bridge was a cocky blue hedgehog, who was patrolling the bridge to make sure that nobody tried to escape.
Sonic the Hedgehog's walkie-talkie, which he had "borrowed" from Team Chaotix, was vibrating for the first time in a while.
"Hey dude!" greeted Sonic. "It's me, your favourite hombre!"
"This is the Ancient Minister!" cackled um...well, the Ancient Minister. "I have a Super Smash Brother! And Snake has killed three!"
"I know man, he told me," replied Sonic, checking a small list. "He says he killed Roy, Mewtwo and Pichu. Who've you got?"
"Some kid, who cares?" replied the Ancient Minister.
"I thought you'd care!" chuckled Sonic. "You're the one who gave me and Snake these lists of the SSB, dude!"
"Shut up!" snapped the Ancient Minister. "At least Snake and I actually found Smash Brothers! All you've done is run on a bridge!"
"Incorrect-a-mundo," sneered Sonic. "I got Eggman to invent something to molecularly separate the old Smash Mansion, didn't I?"
"Oh, of course..." remembered the Ancient Minister. "Listen, I found out from a reliable source-"
"What source?" asked Sonic at once. "Who else is helping you? The kid?"
"No, no..." said the Ancient Minister absentmindedly. "Anyway, there are three more Smashers in Saffron City, at the Silph place. Kill them. It'll put you and Snake at three kills each, so why not?"
"Okay, dude!" grinned Sonic. He clicked his walkie-talkie off and chuckled to himself before running off at high speeds.
"Lookin' forward to it..."
Meanwhile, at Silph Co, Luigi finished explaining everything to Mr. Game and Watch and Jigglypuff.
"And that's how I got it working!" smiled Luigi proudly. "So I've rigged a bunch of teleporters to take us anywhere where there could be Smashers! Mushroom Kingdom, Hyrule, Pop Star, you name it! We can go there and find more Super Smash Brothers! Understand?"
Mr. Game and Watch solemnly nodded, but Jigglypuff looked uncertain.
"What are teleporters?" asked Jigglypuff.
Luigi slapped himself in the forehead.
"Okay, listen very carefully Jigs," said Luigi slowly. "I brought you back here because...because I have magical powers..."
"Yay!" cheered Jigglypuff. "I knew you were special!"
Mr. Game and Watch rolled his eyes, before turning to Luigi. "Any ideas where anyone is?"
"Well, yes actually!" beamed Luigi, proud of himself for the first time. "BeforeI found you, I heard one of those Primid things say there are three more Smash Brothers in Mute City!"
"Who are Smash Brothers?" asked Jigglypuff.
"Okay, shut up now," reprimanded Luigi.
"So now we need to get to Mute City?" asked Mr. Game and Watch.
Luigi nodded, but suddenly the door of the small room they were in burst open, and a blue figure stood there.
"Hey dudes!" laughed Sonic the Hedgehog evilly. "Ready to die?"
"Who the hell are you?" asked Mr. Game and Watch, as Luigi cowered and Jigglypuff tried to work out who had just spoken.
"Well, I'm just a friend," replied Sonic tauntingly. "And you're-" He checked his list. "-Mr. Game and Watch! And these are Luigi and Jigglypuff, correct?"
"W-what do you want with us?" asked Luigi nervously.
"I'm just going to ki-wait...the same Mr. Game and Watch and Jigglypuff who took out our Hoenn Primid squad and blew up Mirage Island?" asked Sonic.
"How did you know about that?" asked Mr. Game and Watch warily. "We just did that half an hour ago!"
"Oh, I forgot," chuckled Sonic. "I can move at the speed of sound,"
Luigi burst into tears.
"But listen," rationed Sonic. "That kind of fighting skill can come in handy...join us, you won't regret it!"
Mr. Game and Watch looked back at Luigi, who was shaking his head frantically, and Jigglypuff, who had really destroyed Mirage Island more than he had.
"Fine," replied Mr. Game and Watch, grinning.
Since Ness and Marth had been attacked by Snake, Captain Falcon had taken it upon himself to guard them. He had taken them to a rundown hotel in Mute City, since Port Town was where Snake found them.
Marth had just woken up from a strange dream, involving several grey things and a lot of destruction, possibly even death. He looked around: Ness was already awake and Captain Falcon was sitting in on the edge of Ness' vacated bed, looking grim.
"Marth, you're awake," noticed Falcon, looking up. "Good, because I have something to tell you both."
Ness looked around at Falcon, and Marth's eyes widened.
"I know who's after you," sighed Captain Falcon. "He's a cloned spy of some kind, name's Solid Snake."
Ness chuckled at the name, but fell silent at Captain Falcon's glare.
"Ironically, he used to be my biggest fan," remembered Captain Falcon. "But one day..."
Captain Falcon trailed off, remembering something.
Captain Falcon, at the sprightly age of 21, stepped out of the Blue Falcon and dusted off his platform shoes.
"Another successful race!" smirked Falcon, claiming his trophy.
Falcon looked around and smiled at his fans, running a hand through his brown afro. One fan, a man who looked as if he was around Falcon's age, stepped forward.
"Hey, a fan?" asked Falcon. "Cool flock-of-seagulls haircut, my brother!"
"Thanks!" chuckled the man. "My name's David, but I'm in this spy program, and they want to call me Snake!"
"That's pretty cool!"grinned Falcon appreciatively. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, can I get a signed Falcon Punch?" asked Snake hopefully.
"Oh...uh...sorry man, but I don't do that any more..." said Falcon sheepishly.
"Why not?" asked Snake.
Captain Falcon trailed off, remembering something.
Captain Falcon, at the sprightly age of six years old, stepped out of his go-kart, The Blue Duckhawk. He dusted off his small sandals.
"Wow, Dougie!" cheered a small girl. "You're really cool!"
"Thanks!" smiled Captain Falcon, twirling his handlebar mustache.
"Can I have a signed Falcon Punch?" asked the small girl.
Captain Falcon nodded, and with a cry of "Falcon PUNCH!", he punched the small girl in the stomach.
"OW!" shrieked the small girl. "Not in the stomach! I'm pregnant! I meant in the arm lightly or something! Baby-killer!"
"W-what?!" asked Captain Falcon, his mustache flourishing. "I thought we were six years old!"
"That's a stupid story," said Snake. "That happened fifteen years ago, and you won't even Falcon Punch me? I'm a guy!"
"Sorry, but that's my word," said Captain Falcon.
"Oh yeah, well I'll get you one day!" yelled Snake, running off. "Even if it's as long as fifteen years from now!"
"And that's why I suspect that it's Snake," finished Falcon.
"So he's after us?" asked Marth. "And it's all because of you? And that horribly retarded story?"
"Well no, there's probably some bigger plan," replied Falcon. "If Snake only wanted me, he could have just walked into the Mansion and killed me instead of all this,"
"Yeah, sure..." grunted Marth, rolling his eyes.
"Well if you can do so much damage with a Falcon Punch, why don't you just kill him?" asked Ness.
"Good point," realised Captain Falcon. "Ness, Marth, let's make a deal. I kill Snake, and I'll get us back our secret character status!"
"I'm already a secret character," remembered Marth. "In fact, you unlocked me last tournament!"
Captain Falcon brushed Marth aside impatiently.
"Deal!" grinned Ness.
Well, that chapter was a whole lot of stuff to handle. What will happen next? What won't happen next? Who'll die? Who'll live? Can Falcon Punches really emasculate/effeminate(?!) people? What's the female equivalent word for emasculate? Who cares? Who doesn't care?
...Do you miss the main plot already?