MIKE NEWTON, THE KING OF EMBARRASSMENT

Name of chapter: Party Animals I

Rating: K

Timeline: Eclipse [*spoiler* Graduation party scene]

Summary: Mike Newton has, many a time, wondered how the Cullen mansion would look like. One particular day, his curious wish is granted. Unfortunately, certain things come with huge consequences. Consequences are there especially if it's to a Mike Newton, who has been known to the population of Forks High, as the King of Embarrassment or the 'Harbinger of Humiliation'.

Author's Note: I'm sorry for not updating. This chapter is a random idea, whipped up in an attempt to defeat my writer's block. Hopefully, it works.

Character Point of View: Mike Newton

Settings: Cullen driveway

I parked the crappy SUV in the Cullens driveway, and took out the keys. I realized nobody had gotten out at all. I turned around in my seat, and gave them my best Mike Newton Evil Glare. Everyone gulped slightly when they saw it.

"Well, what are you waiting for!" I roared at them. "Get out!"

Lee unlocked the door, and hopped out without any hesitation. Austin followed, and so did Eric and Tyler. Samantha flipped the bird at me (in other words, she showed me the finger), and got out. I glowered at her.

"This ride sucked big time," commented Lauren nastily as she exited. Her almost-hairless head scraped against the frame of the door, and I smirked. Connor, her lapdog, followed her wordlessly. What a loser.

I got out in a totally macho way. You should have seen it. Unfortunately, my head banged against the doorframe, and I groaned in pain. Ow, ow, ow, and ow. I'd have a whopper of a bruise tomorrow, I was sure. I hopped no one had seen my embarrassing display.

"Hey, man!" said Tyler when I reached him at the door. "What took you so long, dude? Did Lauren stick her bubblegum on your seat again?"

I gave him my best Evil look. "No."

Instead of getting scared and pissing his pants, Tyler merely looked at me with concern. "Dude, you okay? You're looking kinda weird there, ya know, like you got hit with a pan in the face and had a dog poop in your face after that."

"Thanks for the detailed description of my face, Crowley," I snarled out. "I never realized you could be so creative."

Tyler wrinkled his nose. "O-kay. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"I don't wear panties, you little-"

I was interrupted as the door opened, and Alice's face peeked out. A face-splitting grin was on her face as she greeted us cheerily and invited us in.

Jessica was the first to go in. I was sure her eyes were bugging out from curiosity now.

"Nice to know that you don't wear panties," sneered Lauren as she strutted past me. Connor shrugged sympathetically at me as he walked behind her. I shook my head and followed him.