a/n; oh get me, I'm back already. If your new to my writing please check out 'House of the Rising Sun' after this. It was fairly popular and had a lot of good feedback – and the sequel(written by demand) is being posted too.

Remember To Let Her Into Your Heart

EPOV

By the time I had finished my first day, I was spent. All I wanted was to get back home and away from the watchful eye of my father. I knew he was only concerned but I couldn't help think how he had let her down so much. It was his job to fix people, body or mind. Even if he wasn't able to do it himself he should have searched for a professional in the field, with or without the chiefs permission.

Pulling up outside my apartment I saw Bella's huge ridiculous truck parked. It didn't look like she drove it, she was so small and dainty, this was huge and a complete eyesore.

Getting out I saw her sat on the front step with a large box and a bag over her shoulder.

Looking down at her on her spot she looked up wearily and a little afraid. I stepped past her in silence as I opened the door as she watched before I nodded for her to go in.

Standing up she struggled to lift the box so I took it from her hands, letting her walk-in in front of me.

I placed the box down on the kitchen unit as I walked in before I looked back at Bella as she stood with her head down and playing with her hands.

"Bella..?" I let her name call into the room and her head snapped up looking at me.

She still looked scared, in fact she looked terrified, but I couldn't think why she would have came if she was still so scared of me.

She chewed on her lip for a moment as she thought her words.

"I got you dishes." she shrugged as she nodded to the box that I had taken off of her at the front door.

Glancing at it I nodded . "You know you didn't have too. I would have got some, but thank you."

"There really nice. If I had my own home I would pick them." she shrugged shyly with a small smile.

"Thank you." It was a nice token but it wasn't needed.

There was another awkward moment and I could see her mind thinking, ticking away.

"Oh, I washed all your clothes too." she said as she reached for the bag that was on her shoulder as she walked up to the unit.

"I don't know if you, you know, want your spiderman boxers back after I had wore them but you said Alice had bought you them." she stuttered out, her nerves peaking.

She pulled out the clothes and placed them on the unit, the boxers on top of the pile.

"I have your clothes to give back too, but I haven't had time to wash them." I felt a tad shit for shoving them in some corner after she had gone to the bother of washing mine and returning them.

I walked over and collected them from there spot, her t-shirt and skirt that she had left.

"Thanks." she mumbled out in response. "I also got you another bottle of Vodka." she pulled out the bottle from the bag, handing it over to me. It was the same one as she had drank. I didn't want it though. I didn't want a reminder of seeing her like that and what the liquid inside of this bottle was capable of doing to a human being.

I wanted to know who had sold it to her and if they really thought she was over twenty-one or if they were just trying to make money.

But I took it and thanked her for it, shoving it the same cupboard the last bottle had been stolen from.

She stood there again, hesitance and apprehension written all over her face.

She sighed a little before she began to speak "I know what you told me yesterday, but I have been in touch with Alice." She rushed out.

I looked at her in shock, not because she had been in-touch with my sister but the fear that seemed to lace her voice. Though I was still mad she had been in contact with her. Especially after I had told her never to speak to her again.

"Before you go crazy on me just let me explain. I was only trying to warn her that you might come asking her about that night and what happened." I knew what night she was talking about, the night she put my sister in hospital.

I felt anger boil inside me but I wouldn't let it take control. I couldn't. I had already told her I wasn't that person, I couldn't prove myself wrong. I had to be a better person.

I stood there and pretended that her words didn't affect me.

"And..?" was all I asked, because I knew Alice would have something to say about it.

"And...and she told me I was to tell you what happened, she said I needed to tell you why it happened. She said she's moved on from then, and that you need too as well."

I scoffed at her words but I knew they had came from my sister. Only Alice was brave enough to come at me with that kind of crap. But it was me that still had the issue, it was me who freaked out about it yesterday and the fact that Bella knew something I didn't, that had sent me to the edge.

I rubbed at my face, knowing I was going to hear something I wasn't going to like. "Okay, go." I ordered her gently.

"So...Umm." she shook her head and began again., "There was this girl... Lauren, she was quite a bitch. She didn't like me, like really didn't like me and she didn't like Alice either." she sighed, no doubt that she had managed to start to get her words out, but she still looked up at me worried, as if she was waiting on some kind of reaction. "She would say stuff that we were like together, together." she motioned for me to understand that this girl had suggested they were intimate with one another.

"We weren't. Were not gay, we like guys, both of us." I nodded letting her knew I understood but to me, it didn't really matter.

"We were just close. You know what Alice is like, she would take my hand and we could hug and things like that, closer than normal but it was just how me and Alice were."

"What does this have to do with this girl Lauren and cocaine?" I pushed.

"She said we were a couple, she gave us shit for it and a few times, things got nasty. I didn't care though and neither did Alice and we ignored it. Honestly, I didn't even notice the words she said but I knew Alice struggled a few times with them, she struggled to think that she was assumed bad because she showed me affection." Her brown eyes began to well up but you could see her fighting against it.

"But one day, I was off. I did what I did the other day and I didn't go to school the next day. My dad let me have it off because he knew it was a bad day for me. But I had left her alone that day and Lauren and her friends cornered her. They had scissors and they cut at her hair telling her she needed to get a "dyke spike"." The tears began to stream from her face as she struggled with her words.

She licked her lips, catching her breath. "She came straight to mine knowing my dad would be at work and she came in and woke me up, shaking me, in tears. She had been crucified for being a good friend and they hacked into her hair." Bella's tears fell even heavier as she struggled with her memories.

Alice had long dark hair, so healthy and shiny, until one day she came home with it all cropped short and drunk.

"She begged me to help her fix it, so I tried, I evened it up a little but the damage was done. I couldn't bring it back. She was scared to go home and tell them how it happened, that she was bullied and that they did it to her. I told her I would cover for her, that to tell them I cut it, that we got drunk and that she decided she wanted a change and I got carried away with the alcohol. It wasn't a hard lie to believe, they knew what I could be like, your dad especially."

I rubbed at my face, struggling to take in what I was hearing but I slowly saw that I had moved over to Bella and that I was wrapping my arms around her, trying to ease her struggle. She was trembling in my arms and I hated the fact that the two of them went through this an never told anyone, that Alice had kept this from me.

We had blamed her, we had called her reckless and a horrible friend to Alice and Alice had defended her, she had defended her because we were so far from the truth.

I wasn't home in Forks but my mum had called me that night, telling me what happened and that she was afraid that she was going to lose Alice to some crazy stunt Bella had talked her into doing. She had already had her out on a motorbike and jumping off of fucking cliffs.

"So she wanted an escape, she wanted away from the bullies and the fact that they had hacked her hair off so I went to a friend and got something stronger, something that would make her buzz again, cocaine. It was wrong, I know that, but at the time it seemed innocent and harmless. We got some tequila too." She wiped at her cheek with the back of her hand and I pulled her into the couch as she continued.

"I sorted it out like had been instructed, it was little lines but I was drunk and before I could explain that it was meant for both me and her, she has sniffed all the lines. She seemed fine at first and we buzzed back out into the streets, she danced about like she does and for a little while, Alice was back, she was alive and she didn't care about her hair and she didn't care about Lauren and the rest of the bitches all she cared was she was there with me and we were having fun."

She pulled herself into me as her tears began to wrack her body. "Then...then she just fell. She just hit the ground and she was out of it. I tried to slap her face, to get her to come round, but I didn't know what to do. I just screamed for help, sitting there on the street beside her."

She broke down and I could only pull her in close to me. I held her tight as I felt her tears passing through the material of my shirt.

She pulled her face out from my chest and looked me in the eye as her tears still fell."I'm sorry. I didn't mean for her to get hurt. I only wanted to make her happy again. I know I can't be forgiven for it but I just want you to know that I really am sorry."

She pulled away from my arms, trying to hold her composure again. "Someone called an ambulance and we got her to the hospital. You're dad said he would keep his mouth shut about my input if my dad kept me away from her. I would see her at school and she was like a new person but she was still Alice, she told me she had to keep away or she would get me into trouble. That was all she was worried about, me, not herself not what others would think. Me."

She gasped in the air, her tears tiring her out. "I understood what your mum and dad wanted, I knew that they couldn't trust me after that so I didn't want to make things difficult for them. They were always nice to me, even when I never gave them reason to be. I was a mess and I was pulling Alice down with me, so I stepped back and accepted that these were the consequences to my stupid actions.

"Alice just flourished, something came over her, she wasn't invincible but it did something to her. I suppose when you almost die, it does something to you. She did good, a lot better without me by her side and though the looks she gave me told me she wished she could come to me, it was best for her that she didn't."

She let out a long, tired sigh and I knew she was finished. I reached forward and wiped at the tears that marred her beautiful face and tried to show her that I understood it all now.

"I'm not saying what you did was right. It was so completely wrong for you to do something like that, but I can understand why you did it, as crazy as it is."

I felt like I was battling with myself, it was so fucking wrong but she was desperate and her messed up mind thought that this was the solution. For it to go completely wrong on her and lose her friend like that, she had suffered enough, me battering her with verbal abuse wouldn't change anything now and Alice wanted me to hear this, she wanted me to try and understand, and now, I did.

She nodded at my words, her voice barely a whisper "I just needed you to know how sorry I really am."

I sighed myself. I hated that Alice hadn't come to me and told me, she should have. I really didn't know who she was trying to protect in all of this, Bella, that bitch Lauren or her own damn pride. Either way, I was going to be having words with her.

But honestly, hearing it all now, I think it was Bella who was trying to protect Alice's pride. She could have made things easier on herself a little if she explained, but she never, she kept Alice's secret and the fact she had been bullied and tormented by some girls at school, because Alice didn't want people to find out the truth.

She could have aimed for some sympathy, for trying to help a friend but she never, she took the flack because Alice had asked her to keep quiet. After all this time apart, Bella was still looking out for Alice.

Perhaps keeping them apart was the wrong thing to do, or maybe it was the right thing with the way Alice had moved on, either way it was too late to know, but what I knew now, was Bella would always be loyal to those she loved.

I pulled her onto me, onto my chest, and with a small flicker of doubt crossing her features, she relaxed and moved into me, letting her breathing return to normal.

"You know I'm still going to call Alice on this, she should have told someone." I told her gently, so she knew I wasn't blaming her.

She nodded against me, no doubt knowing, on this one, they were wrong to keep it quiet.

"I...I. Alice just told me I had to tell you, that I needed to explain the truth."

"She was right on that one. I'm glad it was you who told me. I suppose Alice would have been worried at my reaction and the family's. But the other girls should have been pulled up for this, they shouldn't have gotten away with it." I told her firmly.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled out.

"It wasn't just you, Bella. Alice was part of this too, it was her hair they cut and they should have paid for what they done. I would have made them pay." I felt my hand grip at the couch. Anger beginning to boil over. I would have went mad at them but I would have made sure that they were punished in the right way.

"Don't do that." Bella gently ordered as she pulled at my tight grip on the arm of the couch. "It worries me."

I relaxed my hand, apologising. "I didn't mean to scare you."

She pulled her face off of my chest and looked up at me. "You don't scare me, but that," she gestured to my hand "it worries me, I don't want you to do anything that will get you into trouble. You seem so hell bent on helping the weaker ones, you might cross lines you can't go back on."

"Like you, you mean?"

"I suppose, I don't want you in any trouble for helping me they way you did. I only wish you never got your self involved. I wish I hadn't been driving that bike so recklessly."

"But then we would have never have met." I didn't want to ever think about not meeting her, about not knowing what I do now, not just about Alice, but Bella's own pain, her own struggle. I wanted to help her.

"And you wouldn't risk losing your job." she stated.

"I won't lose it, I haven't had you as a patient. Technically you would be seen as a friend." I shrugged. My job was safe and I wasn't having Bella worry about it.

"So...were...friends?" she asked a little hesitantly.

"Technically..." I shrugged. "But that's just how the hospital sees us." I added before she frowned at my words.

"How do you see us?" she asked a little shyly.

I sighed, I didn't know how to answer that question at all. "I helped you." I tried to gather my thoughts on it.

"So you're just being nice." she looked between the small space between us, our closeness, my arm around her. I wasn't 'just being nice', she had slept in my bed.

"Bella, I helped you. You were Alice's friend..."

She nodded silently, her eyes dropping to her lap. I pulled on her chin, wanting her eyes to meet mine.

"If you ever need to talk, or need just someone...like the other night. I am here." I didn't know what I was opening myself up to here but I didn't care, I didn't want her to be alone and I prayed I could help her if she came to me of her own accord.

"So if I'm having a melt down I can see you?" she asked a little warily.

"You can see me when you want, we are... Christ, I don't know Bella." I struggled with my words. I didn't wan it to be said that we were friends after we forbid her being with friends with Alice, it seemed so hypocritical, and besides, she seemed so much more than that. I liked how she sat next to me right now, I liked that it was me she cried on and that I was me that got to hold her tight.

"We're not like you and Alice." I stated.

"We're not?" she asked confused.

"No, I'm older, people will think I'm taking advantage if they see us like that."

"How do you mean?" her brows furrowed forward in confusion.

"We're not friends, we can't hang out like you did with Alice, but I am here if you need someone."

"So what? I can talk to you as long as we're hidden away?" her voice getting louder.

"I never meant it like that. Fuck, Bella, you're tying me in knots here. I have a new job of responsibility in this place. My own family stopped you from seeing my sister, what do you think the rest of the town would say?"

"I don't care what the rest of the town say because they don't know shit. It's gossip and its all half baked lies." she growled as she stood up away from me. I felt cold without her warmth next to me.

"I don't mean it to sound like that Bella, I just have to think about my reputation. I want you as a friend." I emphasised my last sentence to let her know that I did want her.

"And my reputation is just too bad to be seen with." I didn't know if it was a question or a statement so I kept my mouth closed.

"I thought you were different. I thought you actually cared." she shouted at me.

I jumped to my feet to defend myself. I did care. I really did. If I was truthful, I would say I cared too much for this girl and that was what scared me, that's why I couldn't let her get so close publicly, because it would become something to them, to the outside world and I didn't want there input on it, I didn't want there concerns because Bella was right, they didn't know shit.

"I do care, I wouldn't have risked your father arresting my arse if I didn't care. I wouldn't have watched over you all night if I didn't care. Don't tell me that I don't care when I'm trying to help you and you wont even help yourself." I ranted right at her, the look on her face was stunned.

I sat back down on my spot on the couch and bowed my head forward into my hands before I looked back up at her once again.

"I care Bella, I care too much." I had to be honest, it was the only way she would trust me, and if she trusted me, perhaps I could help her.

I had to look away form her, her brown eyes were so intense and it was hard to speak the truth to them when I found it so difficult to deal with myself. "I have known you less than a week and already I can't get you out of my head, I'm thinking of ways to help you, I'm thinking of ways to get you to trust me and I praying that you do because I need you too, because I like you around me."

I kept my eyes away from hers but I felt the couch shift as she sat back down beside me. "I don't like what you do to yourself, in fact I hate it. I hate that no one has helped you, I hate the look of pain in your eyes and I hate the screams you let out, the ones that I still hear in my head, the ones you won't let me help you with because you are so determined to keep it quiet, keep it a secret."

I eventually looked back up at her and saw her glazed eyes. She was hurting and I had caused it.

I hated myself.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. I felt like apologizing to this girl was all I had done since I got back to Forks.

I put my face in my hands and leaned forward not wanting to see the hurt I had caused any more. I was pathetic, turning away from her so easily when all I wanted to do was to fight her, make her better.

I felt her small hand on my back as she began to make small circles, rubbing at me gently.

I didn't deserve her to be so nice to me, not when I was trying to keep everything so hidden, my thoughts, my feelings...

I wanted this to be normal, for me not to feel so confused and conflicted.

I hadn't been able to get her out of my mind and I couldn't ignore the fact any longer. But I still felt so perverse, she was still so young and those brown eyes still seemed to hold an innocence, despite what I had heard. I couldn't have her like how I wanted, she was so young and damaged.

I felt her fingers trail from my back to my shoulder and down to my face, she rubbed her knuckles against the small part of my face that was still exposed and it made me, turn up and look at her.

She seemed like a totally different person from the Bella that I had dragged out of the bar and I couldn't see how she managed to change so easily but one thing was for sure, this girl with concerned eyes that sat on my couch, this was Bella, this was the girl who she was before anything had happened to her. It made me happy to see it, because I knew she was still there somewhat, that there was hope for me to pull her out and let the rest of the world see her, the good friend to Alice, and the girl that had made a mistake, because I knew now, what she did, it was a mistake and one that she lived with by living without Alice.

Leaning back into the couch, Bella followed and rested her head on my shoulder and placed a comforting hand on my leg. She was quiet but I think after all I had let out, she didn't know what to say. I didn't even know what to say.

After a few moment of silence she spoke. "Do you want some food. I can make you something to eat." she shrugged.

I laughed a little because there simply wasn't any food in the house yet. "I don't have any food to cook. I need to go to the store."

"What about take away? I could order a pizza or some Chinese?" she suggested.

I was starving and they both sounded good to me. "Tell you what, you order what you want and you let me sneak off for a shower." I reached for her hand that still rested on my leg and combed my fingers through hers. It seemed so innocent and friendly but at the same time it seemed so intimate. I broke the contact and stood up from my seat.

I took my wallet from my pocked and left some cash on the coffee table for her, for the food she would order before I silently headed to the door.

I paused for a moment and looked down at Bella sat on the couch, she looked lost as she sat with her thoughts. She didn't even seem to notice me still standing there, in her presence.

I headed for the bathroom and stripped down to nothing before stepping below the pressure of the water.

It was good and I could feel it loosening off my tense mussels after the hard day I had.

I washed my body, freshening up, before I got out and dried myself off. Wrapping the towel around my waist I headed out the bathroom.

BPOV

The trees blew, I could hear them smacking off of the glass of my window but it was so dark I could hardly see them.

The air in my lungs made me feel like I was drowning and I could hear a rush of water in the distance and worried if that would drown me instead.

The rain hit hard off of the windows, not that I could really see it any more , it had came down in sheets for hours. My mum, all the time not listening to me, telling me we would be fine.

She was wrong and the fact that she thought she could sleep through it was stupid and nieve

Bella, we've been through worse, we live in Florida. Her words echoed in my head.

The rush of water picked up and I saw it reaching up at the doors leading to the patio. It battered against it and it was like looking out to a filling fish tank.

It was only a few inches but before I knew it it was up by two foot. The pressure of it constantly battering against the door.

"Help." I screamed. My mum needed to wake up, her and Phil. I needed for her to see this was serious.

"Mum, come help me." I called again, louder.

I couldn't take my eyes off of the rising water line. The wind and rain battered along with it and before I knew it the doors were being forced open with the pressure.

"Somebody help me." I screamed as loud as I could before I felt my mothers arms reach from behind me and pull me back, away from the water at my feet.

EPOV

"Somebody Help me." Her words rang through my ears as I shook her awake. My arms wrapped around her.

"Bella, I'm here. I'm right here." I promised her. I ran my hand across her cheek, waiting with baited breath for her to open her eyes and come back to reality.

I had heard her as I stepped out side the bathroom and had paused when I heard her call on her mother. I thought she was on the phone to her and I was concerned about the raised voice, but I had found her sleeping on the couch and clearly in some kind of distress.

Her eyes opened quickly before she pulled herself into me, hugging me and holding on for dear life as she broke down into tears again in my arms.

I hated to see the distress on her face like that. The pain gripping on to her and ruining even a small nap she was having. It wasn't surprising she had fallen asleep if that's what happened every time she closed her eyes.

It was a constant battle for rest and I could understand her need for the vodka a little more clearly. She didn't need an escape, she needed medicated.

She pulled away from me, taking in me in. I was only wearing the towel that I had left the bathroom in.

She looked down my chest and back up at my eyes, her gaze piercing into me once again before I suddenly felt her lips crashing against mine.

I was in shock and some how I couldn't pull away. I wanted more and the thought of deepening the kiss was the thought that made me pull away. I wasn't going to help anything by kissing her, all I was going to do was leave her confused, and even more hurt than she already was.

I pulled away and looked back down at her in surprise.

"I'm sorry." she breathed out in shame.

"Don't be, it's okay, I understand, you were scared."

She nodded shyly as she looked back down, trying not to look at me, my naked chest.

I was over her and only a towel saved me from complete nudity. She must have been horrified at my stance, but she had cuddled into me.

"You know, I'm going to do it." I told her firmly.

She looked up at me, meeting my eyes. "What?" she asked, confused.

"What you asked. I'm going to help you."

Her eyes widened, obviously surprised at the fact she had been calling out for help in her sleep. She reddened below me before I reached up and kissed her forehead.

"I promise you. I will." I was firm again and the look I gave her as I looked back into the brown, it made her squirm below me and I couldn't tell what emotion radiated from her this time.

a/n; ok people – please please please review!! it would mean a lot – any ideas yet to Bella?!

I know some of the readers here are finding this a little slow but as usual – I don't plan, I just write whatever feels like coming out of me and its always in one go – no rewrites, no change in paragraphs or such. It's the way I work. Sorry!! xx