a/n: Ok I know I know I havent been as quick with the UD's - busy week! Baby Blues will be updated as soon as I can!

Crossing Lines

EPOV

I couldn't help but be worried for Bella. She seemed a wreck after wakening up. I had held onto her for a good ten minutes before I pulled myself away needing to get dressed, and as soon as I was, I was straight back to her, letting her move her tight grip from the arm of the couch, back to me.

She eventually settled a little and the Chinese food that she had ordered, arrived. I put on a DVD in the hope of distracting her mind and it seemed to work, she finally shook whatever haunted her, away.

She did curl up by my side though, and I let her, I let her slouch further down into my side before I felt her head resting on my leg as she watched the television. I let my fingers comb through her hair and eventually, she nodded off to sleep again.

I left her there, I didn't want to disturb her if she was in a peaceful slumber and I knew she was tired. Not only because she had actually fallen asleep on my couch so quickly, but the dark marks below her eyes was a big waving flag to her exhaustion.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to leave her on the couch and I especially didn't want to leave her there all alone.

She had already slept two nights in my bed, what was the harm in one more. She was only catching up on some much needed sleep and if her father really was worried to her where abouts, her phone was sitting out for us to hear.

So I picked her up and carried her through to my room and carefully fought off her sweater before placing her under the covers. I climbed in beside her and kept to my side of the bed, not wanting it to seem like I was taking advantage, but she followed me, in her sleep she had quickly shuffled over to my side and wrapped her arm around my waist. So I held her right back, because maybe it would let her sleep well like it had done the first time.

She was like a little china doll in my arms, her pale skin contrasting against her almost black hair with the dim light coming in from the window.

I kissed her temple and gave a small prayer of hope that I wasn't going to mess up her mind any more, that I would help her. She needed it.

Her lips puckered as I felt her cheek brush across my shirt covered chest, getting comfortable as she slept. She looked peaceful now, and that painful expression from earlier, was gone.

Looking at her lips they were so damn inviting, I still couldn't believe that she actually kissed me like she had done.

There was this nagging feeling in me though that I should have hated it, that I should have be disgusted with myself. But I wanted more.

I couldn't have her though, everything about her, everything she had done, thought not all entirely her fault, was reason to keep away from this girl. But all I wanted was to be closer to her.

It was like everything about her was inviting me in

Her eyes

Her lips

Her hair

Her smell

Even the sound of her voice pulled me to her like a giant magnet. I fought against it, but it was useless, I was going to go sliding across the ground and smack straight into her.

She shuffled in my arms again and wiped away a few stray strands of hair away from her face, wiping the tip of her nose. She looked adorable.

I knew I wanted to help her, but I did question weather the fact I found myself being drawn to her the catalyst or if I did genuinely want to help her as a person, as the doctor in me.

Something told me that if I had to break every rule in order to help her, I would.

But I couldn't think about her like that, I had to sit my feelings aside. She was my sisters friend. She was five years younger than me. It couldn't happen. I didn't care what the out side world though of her, they didn't know her, but I did worry what they would think of me, weather my new job that I was only just in, would be compromised. I couldn't piss five years of med school up the wall for some thrill, especially with someone as reckless as Bella.

She let out a little sigh of contentment and I enjoyed her warmth next to me. I had missed her not being in my bed last night. It felt cold and I felt like something was missing. I relished her, knowing, eventually, I had to give it up, for not only my sake, but Bella's too.

I woke up in the morning, groaning.

Groaning with pleasure?

I felt the moist sensation around my dick, an unusual feeling but definitely one I had felt before. I gripped onto the covers with one of my hands, needing to steady myself

I reached down, my hand going into a mass of hair.

Fuck

My eyes sprung open, looking down, finding Bella's head – down there.

I jumped back, clearly scaring he shit out of her, but she had gave me a fucking coronary with that stunt.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked completely fucking shocked as I tucked myself back in to my bottoms.

She looked like she was on the verge of tears, her big chocolate eyes looking like she was getting a telling off for sneaking sweets before diner, not for having her mouth wrapped around my god damn dick.

"I was just trying to thank you." she practically sobbed out.

"Who the hell do you think I am? Is that how you thank all the other guys?" I growled in disgust that she would ever think of me as anyone like that sleaze who had taken her to that bar.

"I...You...They..." She stuttered, completely unsure of what to say.

"Spit it the fuck out Bella. Is that what you think I want from you?" Okay so the hormonal teenager in me definitely wanted that, but he wasn't bloody getting it. I was a man, a man in control of his actions. A man in control of his god damn hormones.

"I thought all guys liked it." she shrugged as she looked down to the covers and the tears began to fall, she looked so ashamed.

"Not like that." I spat. "I helped you because you need it and I'm a doctor. It's how it works."

"But you seemed confused last night, you said I was more than a friend." she still never met my eyes.

I sighed pulling at my hair. Was this all my fault, had I lead her up the fucking garden path?

"Bella..?" I sighed, I was at a total loss what to say on this one. I never in my life expected that.

"I'm sorry, I should go." she whispered out as she slipped out the bed, picking up her jumper I had removed the night before, before I had put her into my bed.

I jumped up instantly, rushing to her and pulling on her wrist. She looked up at me, shocked and ashamed.

I pulled her into me because she didn't know what she was doing. She had went with men for Christ knows how long, to help her sleep and this is how she repaid them.

I hated whoever had taken advantage of her, of her state. I hated every single guy that had ever laid a finger on her.

I heard the soft sobs of her crying, not knowing what she had done was crossing a line, and I pulled her down onto the bed with me.

She clung to my side like she had done yesterday, when we had watched the DVD's and it stung to think I could have put her in the same pain that she had been in yesterday when she had clung to me then.

"You shouldn't just let any guy do that to you, you shouldn't do that to just any guy. It's meant to mean more than that." I was bullshiting her, I knew I was, but I wanted her to see the way it should be.

I knew over the years I had screwed more than a couple of girls up against a wall, girls I didn't even know the names of, but it shouldn't be that way. She deserved to be loved and cherished, she was still that little china doll that slept in my arms the night before. She was still that girl that was shook up with haunting nightmares, she didn't need someone letting her think that this was how it should be, that if she got a peaceful sleep with someone, that she had to do that to them.

"You're not just any guy though. You helped me."

I sighed because I knew I had done nothing to help her, "I haven't helped you, not yet anyway. But I will." I promised. "And when I do, you can buy me a thank you card or some shit, just...just not that, okay?"

"I thought you would like it, I thought you liked me." the look on her face was so young. I was amazed this girl got her hand on alcohol so easily. Any guy that had been with her was a pervert, she looked nothing like her age. They were just going for something in a fucking school uniform, the sick bastards.

"Bella I do like you, and trust me, every guy likes that, but you just don't give them it, not like that, not to sell yourself, okay." She wasn't taking money but she was taking there presence, there being around her as her own cash.

"I'm not some kind of hooker." she spat, as she jumped out from my arms and looked down at me.

"I never said you were." I rubbed at my eyes, still trying to let my brain wake up. "Do you do that with all the guys?" it was a shit question to ask but I needed to know how desperate for sleep she was.

She shrugged a little as she looked down at the floor.

"Bella?" I wanted to push her on this, I had to know. I needed to know just how messed up she was and how many jackoffs had put there hands on her.

She ignored me again. I could feel my frustration take over, I was going to blow up if she didn't answer me. But I couldn't. I promised.

"How many guys, Bella?" I asked her slowly but firmly, trying all the time to keep my voice steady.

"How many girls have you been with?" she snapped back at me.

"Eight." I told her right back. They all pretty much meant nothing to me, most of them wild one night stands in college. Too many drinks, too many parties...

Her mouth dropped and I hoped to god it was at my honesty and not because the number frightened her, in either direction of being too small or too big.

"I don't have to tell you anything." she tried to defend.

"I'm guessing your number is bigger." I smiled smugly at her, just an attempt to piss her off, to get a snap of honesty out of her.

She rolled her eyes at me before she ran through to the lounge, searching for her trainers.

"Side of the coffee table." I instructed her to their location.

As much as I wanted to carry on this conversation, I had day two of my new job to get to. I needed to concentrate on he things I had control over first. As selfish as it sounded, I just couldn't screw this up, I couldn't lose my job, I couldn't risk losing my place at the hospital.

"When will I see you again?" I had no idea why I asked it. It just came out, as if I assumed she would want to see me again.

But it was me who needed to see her.

She ignored my questions and I dropped to my knees in front of her, where she sat on the couch, lacing up her shoes.

"Bella..?" I couldn't help the tone that came out, it wasn't pleading, it was begging. I needed to know she was going to be alright and I needed to know that she was coming back to me.

Her head snapped up, her eyes narrowing in on me. "What do you want form me?"

"I need to know that you will be okay." I told her with all the honesty I had in me, it stretched from my gut, skipping off of my heart and falling into the words I spoke.

I needed to know she wouldn't do anything to herself.

Especially if I had provoked her, got her mad or upset and put her in that mind set.

"Forget it Edward. We never met, we never spoke and I never..." her words trailed into the air and I was desperate to hear the end of that sentence.

"You never what?" I asked, the desperation ringing through my voice. "You never what, Bella?" I almost shouted at her.

How the hell had it turned to this, how had it gone from cuddling her in her sleep, holding on to her, to this, arguing, arguing over something ridiculous and something that was no business of mine.

But I still needed to know.

Her eyes seemed to turn cold and stony as she looked back up at me. "Why did you ask? Why do you need to know that?"

"I told you mine..." I whispered out, but I know I had only told her because she asked me after I had asked first.

"Yeh, cos you asked me first. Why did you have to ask? What does it matter?"

She really thought it didn't matter, that god knows how many men had put their hands on her.

"Because they don't deserve you Bella, they don't deserve to get to touch you and they certainly don't deserve any love you give them. They are using you."

"What if I'm the one that's using them?" She asked as if she really thought she was taking advantage of them instead.

"Bella, you're not. They are taking advantage." I told her firmly. She needed to stop with this disastrous game first if she ever wanted to get past whatever was messing with her mind.

"What if I want them to take advantage, what if I want to give them love-"

"It's not real love, keep that for you're friends and family."

"What friends, the only friend I have now is Jake and he knows I love him."

"You love him?" I couldn't help but let the jealousy out as I spoke. She loved him.

"He's my friend..." she shrugged as if it meant nothing, as if it was a given. What did she really feel for this guy? Who was he?

I tried to forget her words and move on. "Your family." I told her.

She laughed at that one, obviously the fact she seemed so detached from the chief and that her mother lived in Florida. Who else did she have?

"Bella, you have me." I told her as I grabbed onto her hand, bringing it to my chest.

"No, I don't. I only get you if its behind closed doors. That isn't love."

Fuck, she had me there. It wasn't love at all. It wasn't even caring. I was as selfish and as cold hearted as the rest of the guys that came into her life.

"Is that what you want? Love?" I asked gently.

She shook her head as she ducked her face down as tears once again made there way to the surface.

I reached out for her, cupping her cheek. All I wanted to do was kiss her.

"Why not?"

"Because it hurts too much when it disappears?" She sobbed out as she kept her head down.

She pulled on my hand, pulling it across her mouth, it looked as if she was kissing my palm but I was positive she was trying to muffle the sounds of her cries.

I looked at her, all red eyes and watery cheeks. "You know, maybe it's worth the risk?" I shrugged. "Maybe you need to know true pain so you know when you have true love."

I didn't know what I was talking about or what she was talking about, where she was coming from. It seemed as if she had lost someone, a boyfriend perhaps, did he walk away from her? How could he have been able too?

She jerked away from me, standing up. "I need to go..." she told me but her voice seemed uncertain.

I didn't want her to go, I wanted her to stay here and I wanted to stay with her, talk through it.

"Please, don't go." I begged her though I knew I had to get to work. My father would be here and drag me out to the hospital himself if I didn't show.

She wiped at her face before grabbing hold of her jacker that was slung over a chair.

I stood up, walking to her. Silently pleading to stay, so I could talk this through with her.

"Goodbye Edward." she whispered out before she turned and headed for the front door.

My feet were rooted to the spot. I knew I had to let her go.

I heard the door slam shut and she was gone and I was alone.

It was Friday.

Friday

And I hadn't seen Bella since. I had drove past her house a couple of times on a long drive back from work. Her truck had been in the drive but her dads cruiser was parked outside too so I couldn't risk going to the door, even though I was itching too.

I could understand why she did what she did. She thought that was the way it was. But I thought I had told her I was different, that I wasn't going to hurt her, that she could trust me.

I was never going to take advantage like that.

It felt like forever since I had saw her, the way she would chew in her bottom lip with nerves. I missed that and I missed the blush she would give. It was never usually smooth sailing when we were together, but in those moments when it was, it seemed so natural to be around her. For me to place my hands, my arms around her.

I was infatuated with this girl and there was nothing I could do about it. She had made it clear that she didn't want to see me. And all I wanted to do was to see her.

"Here you are, bro." Emmett called to me, dunting the cold bottle of beer off the back of my head and almost spilling it over me in the process.

I ignored the dunt and took it from him with a small thanks.

I had been over for diner at my parents along with my brother Emmett and soon to be wife Rosalie. She was nice, a little bit snippy though when it came to those who she loved. I suppose it wasn't a bad trait to have though. She was loyal to Emmett and there was no one else for the other. They were set.

Her and Emmett had been together for years. I struggled to remember a time without Rosalie in it and she was family and she would be by law, soon.

"So, is she like a total crack whore now?" Rosalie asked with some amusement. I had yet to speak to her since I had my little run in with Bella, and of course, my father the perfect doctor wouldn't ever speak of her outside of work.

But my little run in wasn't work, and Rosalie wanted all the details.

"No." I groaned at her. Like I said, she was snippy over the ones she loved, and Bella and the incident with cocaine and Tequila – I really don't think she would get over.

"Was she a little high, I mean, to be driving up the middle of the road...Who does that?!"

She was perched on the edge of the couch, desperate for any detail that would suggest Bella's life was a living hell, which it was, but I would never give Rose the satisfaction.

"It was early," I shrugged "I thought the roads were empty too, she was just riding her bike."

Rosalie wasn't to convinced, she would have saw it as some stunt of Bella's, some need for adrenalin. I had to say, after what I saw in her notes, I wasn't to convince myself, I saw it as a way out for her. A way out of the life she was living.

"Figures." she sighed and pouted to herself, not getting much on Bella. "That girl is trash." she practically spat.

"Enough." I shot back at her, pulling her into line. "Keep it shut, Rosalie."

She rolled her eyes at me with a flick of the hair. "Why, its nothing that she doesn't deserve." she let out flatly.

"Rose..." my mum called on her gently, trying to pull her into line carefully.

Screw over Rosalie or any of her family, and it would take you the rest of your days trying for her forgiveness.

"She made a mistake, okay. It's over, forget about it." I told her firmly.

"A mistake?" she laughed. "Are you kidding me, this is coming from you, Edward?"

"Yes." I let out flatly.

I had yet to tell my family about my little talk with Bella and about that night with Alice and those girls bullying them. I didn't know where to begin, where the hell do you start on that one, especially when they had just let it rest with Alice moving to Seattle for college.

"Don't tell me you screwed her too, is that why your keeping quiet. God Edward, she had been with half the town. I hope you were careful, that's all I'm saying." She put her hand up, as if to surrender.

I narrowed my eyes at her. What the hell did she know about it, who had told her that?

"And who told you that? What do you know?" it was still a sensitive subject for me to think about. Any guy touching her. I could feel my blood curdle from Rosalie's words.

"Everyone knows that, Edward." She sighed as if I was stupid.

"This isn't something we should be talking about." my dad tried to change the subject.

"Are you kidding me, we all know she has had more than her fair share of trips to the ER, I want to know the gossip that Edward's pivy too after there little run in. He seems a little touchy, don't you think, Monkey?"

Emmett's head rolled back as she patted his knee and called him his pet name, that he hated, but secretly loved. The two of them together were revolting, they were so loved up and...mushy. She had him whipped and he loved it. She would ask him to jump and he would ask, how high?

"Leave him alone, and stop hating on Bella. You know as well as everyone else that Bella has issues. Let it be." he told her off. I was a little shocked at my brothers words but I swallowed them because he could see it too. They all knew she had difficulties. They felt sorry for her.

"She doesn't deserve anyone's sympathy, she could have killed Alice-"

"And maybe you don't know the half of it." I jumped in on Rosalie before she ranted again.

"And you do?" she eyed me suspiciously.

I kept quiet. I didn't even know where to begin on this one. I knew I had to tell them. I just didn't want to have to do it tonight. So I kept quiet and I kept Alice and Bella's secret, just like they had.

"Drop it, Rose." Emmett told her off again. She quietened, her gaze falling from me and she shuffled back into her seat and into Emmett.

I relaxed further into the couch, swallowing down my beer, letting it settle me.

It had been a long hard first week and I was ready for dropping off. I needed sleep so bad. I was exhausted and drained, if my mind hadn't been fixated on something with work, it was on Bella.

I needed to let my mind close down and switch off.

"I think I'm just going to head. It's been a long week and I could do with a lie in." I told them as I sat up from my spot.

"So soon?" my mother practically sprang out her seat at my words.

I only nodded as I let out a yawn and rubbing my face.

"Will we be seeing any more of you this weekend?" My dad asked, finally talking after keeping relatively quiet for most of the night, with only a watchful eye looking over me like he had done all week at the hospital, ever since I had spoke of Bella.

"I don't know. I have to sort the apartment out a little more. Maybe give it a lick of paint." I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to stifle another yawn.

"Someone been keeping you up late?" Rosalie sniggered at her words but I only glared at her, Emmett warping a protective arm around her and pulling her further into him.

Standing up I headed for the door. "I'll see you soon." I promised as I kissed my mums cheek and gave my dad and Emmett a brief pat on the shoulder. I just ignored Rosalie, it would only be another attempt to whisper more poison in my ear.

She saw I had defended Bella and she knew that wasn't me. She had saw that wasn't me. She had seen the anger I had carried towards Bella over the whole incident and now I was defending her. Rosalie's mind would definitely be working over time.

With a small nod I was out the door and straight into the Volvo, a small nip in the air chasing me quicker into the car.

I drove straight home and kept my focus on the road as best as I could, but I was shattered. I was surprised I never actually fell asleep while driving.

Reaching the apartment I saw her. She was sitting on the front step just like last time, but tonight there was no truck.

Looking up at me her eyes were red and glazed, she had been crying and it was clear she was trying to fight off another round of tears.

She sat with her phone in her hand, perched open in her palm.

"Someone looking for you?" I asked as I hunched down beside her.

I was surprised to see her here. I didn't think I would see her again, that she would come to me after what happened.

"No. No one wants to call me. I tried to call someone, but no answer." she shrugged and the way she slumped backwards I could tell she had been drinking again.

"Bella, how much have you had to drink?" I wasn't beating round the bush on this. I knew she had been drinking and I wasn't going to pretend she hadn't.

"Enough to sleep...hopefully." she shrugged again and before her head scuffed off of the door behind her.

"Where is your dad?" Did he leave her again?

"Fishing. He took Jake again. No one trusts me." she sobbed a little out of pity in her drunken state.

"That's not true. I trust you. We'll I trust you on some things. When you drink, I don't know if I can."

She only nodded, as her eyes looked out over my shoulder. I looked behind me but there was nothing there, she was just drunk.

Grasping on to her waist, I pulled her up with me as I stood up before I opened the door and pulled her in with me.

She was staying with me.

I wasn't letting her be alone like this. She would either wonder off to some stranger or possibly just drink a whole lot more.

With me she was safe.

And I was pretty certain she wouldn't pull the stunt she did on Tuesday.

Getting her into the apartment I did my best to get her sober again. I gave her water and coffee and I made her eat something. It also warmed her up, she had been freezing after sitting out on that step. God knows how long she had been there for.

She began to look a little better after an hour or so, the whole time I kept my eyes on her. I was shattered but I would never let myself fall asleep when she needed me.

She sat back in the couch looking right back at me. Not one word had come from her mouth since we had got in. She only gave nods or did what I instructed her too do.

"Do you want something to sleep in?" Because there was no doubt about it, she had came to sleep, I was certain of it.

I left her on the couch as I headed to my room, picking up the spiderman boxers. I had kept hold of just in case she came back, and I searched out the same t-shirt she had worn from the first time she had stayed. The t-shirt she had worn in the shower.

I had came across her underwear from that day too. They had been left in the damp pile and I never returned them to her. It was only last night I had came across them as I sorted a load of washing but it didn't make it feel any more right having them here.

I only lifted my boxers up for her knowing they would be more comfortable to sleep in.

Walking back she was almost sleeping. I could see her trying to keep herself awake, trying to prove she was sober and that her mind was sound, though both were still pretty questionable.

"Here," I told her as I hand her the boxers and t-shirt, walking back into the lounge. "go wash up and get changed. Then you can get some sleep okay?" before I knew it I had leaned down and kissed the top of her head as I smoothed my hand down the back of it.

It just happened, like it was second nature.

Pretending it didn't happen, I walked over to the kitchen area, pulling out a couple more bottles of water for us as she left the room, still in silence.

I didn't know to be happy or not, that she never said anything to my action. Least she would know I wasn't afraid to touch her, despite the nature of our conversation last time.

Walking back to the bedroom I stripped down to my boxers and t-shirt before I climbed underneath the covers and waited on Bella before switching the light out.

She walked in, looking a little more refreshed and pretty cute in my clothes. I knocked the thought out of my head s fast as it entered it. I couldn't keep thinking like that, especially if she was in my bed. That was taking advantage.

She climbed under the covers, never speaking and never looking at me, she lay away from me and I accepted that was all I was getting out of her tonight so I turned off the lamp and slid further below the covers.

I lay there for a few moments before I felt her shuffle around the bed again.

I was about to ask her if she needed anything, if she was warm enough, something, anything. I hoped the darkness would make her speak because I knew I wouldn't be able to see her nod in the dark. I wanted to take advantage of that and hear her voice just one last time before I fell asleep.

She pulled into my side and gripped her arm around my waist. Without a word or a hesitation I wrapped my arm around her waist too, pulling her right into me, where she felt so right.

"I'm sorry." was all she mumbled against me, her hot breath blowing through my t-shirt.

I wanted to argue and tell her she had nothing to be sorry for, that it was my fault. But I didn't.

Instead I searched out her lips and kissed her chastely, easing my need I had felt since Monday night.

a/n: so what you think – any more thoughts on Bella yet – Who thinks Edward is getting in a little too deep a little too quick? xx