"Previously on The Bootleg Smashy Amazing Ra-"
Oops. Wrong one. Anyway. The time to get Brawl is fast approachin' for me, and this is likely to be the last Brawless chapter for me.
Or maybe I'll take more than three days to write it and it'll be the first Brawlful chapter?! OH THE WONDER!
Rebuilding
Chapter 25: Overdue Appearances
The Halberd plummeted through the skies, splitting clouds and also a few birds. The inhabitants were less than amused.
"We're all gonna die!" wailed Kirby, Yoshi and Pikachu together.
"I don't want to die a virgin!" screamed Ike.
"This is where I come in!" screamed Pit back.
Ike pushed Pit out of the window.
"Not faiiiir!" squealed Pit, plummeting to the ground.
The Smashers screamed as they got closer and closer to the ground.
"Most of us are too young to die!" yelled Link.
The Halberd stopped falling immediately, and the gravity reduced inside the ship.
"What the..." muttered Samus.
"This has never happened..." revealed Meta-Knight.
A blond boy stepped into the ship timidly.
"I-I did it," said the boy quietly. "I'm a psychic, and after I saw you guys fall from the sky, I tried to hold the ship up."
"Thanks, kid," everyone muttered collectively.
"Hey, w-wait, aren't you mad that I couldn't save the angel?" asked the boy.
"No," was the general reply.
"I'm fine, thanks for asking," said Pit, storming back into the fallen ship. "Luckily an old man broke my fall."
"Old man?!" squealed the boy. He ran back out of the ship, with the Smashers following him. "Dad!"
An old man dressed as a cowboy was lying on the ground, twitching. One of his arms was dislocated and his breathing was weak.
"Lucas..." coughed the man. "...I'm running out of time...listen, you're all alone now...stay with these people...they're the group the Eagleland hero was with a few years back..."
"Ness?" asked Lucas. "These people know Ness?"
"We're kind of superstars-a," said Mario.
"Yeah, the Super Smash Brothers," added Link.
"Where's Ness?" asked Lucas nervously. "I can't wait to meet him!"
"We don't know," replied Link solemnly. "We lost half the previous fighters, the Super Smash Brothers are under attack,"
"Lucas..." wheezed the old man. "Join the fight...help them...your mother would have wanted it...your brother would have wanted it...I would do it...but now..."
With a final cough, the old man passed away.
"I'm gonna do it, Dad..." whispered Lucas, kneeling down and resting his head on his dead father's chest. "I'll join them..."
"Controls are still operational, structural damage if anything," said Meta-Knight airily, walking out of the Halberd. "We can leave now if you want,"
"Take me with you!" said Lucas, standing firm. "My city was destroyed! Me and my dad got evacuated just in time, and we ended up here!"
"You're from New Pork City?" asked Samus kindly. "That's where our friends were when the bomb went off."
"But they're alive?" asked Lucas sceptically.
The Smashers turned to look at Snake for another explanation; Lucas followed suit soon after.
"I..uh...yes, they are," replied Snake simply. "But we have no idea where they are."
"We have no idea where we are," said Kirby.
"I do," said Snake. "I've...I've been here before,"
"You have?" asked Kirby.
"Yeah," replied Snake. "We're in Shadow Moses Island. Take a look around...it's a bad place..."
"I kinda feel like I'm in a cage!" remarked Pikachu. "These walls go so high!"
"Those are guard towers, actually," said Snake. "They used those searchlights to warn people I was here, but the Subspace army used them to scour surrounding areas for Smash Brothers. They've gotten samples of your DNA, and now the lights will only detect SSB veterans."
"Like me?" asked Yoshi proudly.
...
"Uh, yeah," replied Snake. "You are a vetera-Yoshi, get back!"
A searchlight went off, and a piercing siren noise filled the area.
"What-a happened?" asked Mario, hands cupped around his ears.
"The Subspace army know we're here now!" replied Snake. "They rigged some security devices, but I never got to see them..."
"The b-bad guys?" quivered Lucas.
"We'll protect you," assured Link kindly. "Don't worry. We're all capable fighters here."
Lucas looked over at Pit, who was applying soothing ointments to his bruises.
"Most of us are," said Link.
Lucas raised an eyebrow.
"Well, a few of us are anyway," sighed Link.
Suddenly, a large mech crashed through the wall and started firing rockets everywhere.
"Metal Gear Rex!" gasped Snake. "They tampered with these?"
The other wall caved in, and another mech appeared.
"And Metal Gear Ray?" asked Snake.
"Hey, what are those over there?" asked Bowser. "They look like somethin' bad got to 'em! And not the good kind of bad!"
Pikachu looked more closely, and then gasped in anguish.
"The bodies!" blurted out Pikachu. "Pichu's dead body! Mewtwo and Roy too!"
Damn, thought Snake. I'll need to think of a way to get out of-wait...that kid...
"The kid version of Link," said Snake abruptly. "The triangle on his hand brought back those three as ghosts. They were the ones that drove the Subspace army away, I saw it."
"Pichu can come back?" asked Pikachu, crying silently.
"Only if the kid focuses," replied Snake. "The army's on their way here though, so we better arm ourselves with stuff from the ship..."
"Got it," nodded Meta-Knight, heading back in.
"I actually have some supplies too!" said Lucas, eager to be useful. "I found this glass tube here!"
Lucas reached into hammerspace, and showed everyone his item.
"Wow! It's huge!" grinned Fox in admiration.
"Can I hold it?" asked Link, eyes widening.
"How did a kid like you get something like that?" wondered Donkey Kong, amazed.
"I know! I've never known little kids to be so well endowed!" marvelled Pit.
"Dude!" said Ike reproachfully. "We're talking about his Assist Trophy!"
"...So was I!" said Pit defensively. "Incidentally, I have never gone to jail, and I am not banned in 31 states!"
"Why did I try to save you?" asked Lucas, disgusted.
"Never mind him," advised Kirby. "Can I see the Assist Trophy?"
Lucas handed Kirby the Assist Trophy.
Kirby has no fingers and he dropped it immediately.
"Good job, you ass!" reprimanded Zelda, slapping Kirby with her cattle prod.
A group of pixels burst forth from the Assist Trophy's remains.
"What are theses guys?" asked Diddy curiously.
Everyone turned to look at Pikachu, who was scribing the doctrines for his Dr. Wrightism Bible.
"Oh, well in the NES Testament, the Excitebikers were the holy messengers for the Lord Wright," explained Pikachu.
"That's cool, I guess," shrugged Bowser.
"They also took pride in all those with evil intentions," added Pikachu.
"Aw raspberries," said Bowser, kicking at the ground.
The Excitebikers ran into Bowser, beating him up.
"How wondifferous-a!" smiled Mario merrily.
"Hey, I've got another one too," said Lucas, pulling out a second Assist Trophy.
"Can I see the Assist Trophy?" asked Kirby.
Lucas handed Kirby the Assist Trophy.
Kirby has no fingers and he dropped it immediately.
"Good job, you ass!" reprimanded Zelda, slapping Kirby with her cattle prod.
"Well, that won't get old..." sighed Kirby, rubbing his wounds.
Lakitu appeared, looking annoyed.
"Who summoned me?" asked Lakitu through his braces. "I was just sitting here trying to watch Science Fiction Megathon when you jerks summoned me here!"
"Dork alert!" cried Ike, pointing at Lakitu.
"Ha ha, very funny," said Lakitu dryly. "Now if you don't mind, I have a chess tourney! Gorgen slak prexipice!"
...
"That's Klangoff for Goodbye, losers!" laughed Lakitu, snorting.
Ike poured holy water on Lakitu.
"I didn't even get to do my attack!" screamed Lakitu, disappearing.
"Got any more cool stuff, kid?" asked Ike, throwing his goblet of holy water aside.
"Yeah, I've got this weird glass ball..." said Lucas. "I don't know what it is, though..."
"That's a Smash Ball!" said Kirby exuberantly. "It gives people their super moves! Gimme, I haven't seen mine! I've waited so long!"
"Okay, sure!" smiled Lucas, handing Kirby the Smash Ball.
"You have to break it to get the power!" grinned Kirby, not caring that he'd drop it.
Kirby has no fingers and he dropped it immediately.
It landed on a cushion.
"Good thing I didn't waste another item!" said Fox, putting his cushion away.
"You idiot!" shouted Kirby. "Give me that thing! I need my super move!"
"Use your indoor voice!" reprimanded Fox stupidly.
"WE'RE OUTSIDE, YOU FU-" cried Kirby, but the rest of his sentence was drowned out by Fox's screams.
"He's making swears!" cried Fox, bursting into tears.
Fox ran away, but then tripped on the ground.
"Owie, I fell down!" moaned Fox, picking shards of glass out of his skin.
"Where's the Ball thingy?" asked Lucas.
"Oh no, I broke it!" worried Fox, looking at the remains of the Smash Ball.
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" cried Kirby angrily. "He gets it before me?!"
"Oh no," realised Link, burying his face in his hands. "Any super move of Fox's is bound to involve something as annoying and stupid as he is."
"He's probably going to mess his up like an idiot," said Samus. "He'll have some stupid little move we'll all hate, and he's gonna start it off stupidly."
"LANDMASTER!" yelled Fox, jumping into the air.
"A what?" asked Pokemon Trainer, confused.
Fox crashed back to the ground in a tank.
"What is this supposed to be?" asked Lucas nervously.
"Mac, what's the mileage on this things?" asked Diddy in awe, climbing up in front of the cockpit to face Fox.
"Yaaay! It's a free ride!" cheered Zelda. "On a killing machine! McCloud, I finally respect you! Let's go burn stuff! Burn it all down!"
"Yeahs!" agreed Diddy. "Let's all rides on it!"
Suddenly, Fox's eyes glowed reddish-purple.
"He's being possessed by the Smash Ball!" cried everyone from AU and other possessed Final Smash uses.
"DON'T!" screamed Fox, hovering in the air and pinning Diddy to the ceiling.
"RIDE!" screamed Fox, rolling in mid-air and knocking Zelda to the floor.
"THE!" screamed Fox, firing the cannon at Lucas, because he could.
"LANDMASTERRRR!!" bellowed Fox, landing on everyone else down below.
"This hurts!" whined Yoshi.
"A lot!" added Pikachu.
"It's so big, it might be hard to turn around!" observed Pit.
"You mean Fox's Landmaster?" asked Pikachu.
"No, I mean Fox," winked Pit. "His rule-breaking power and authority are unstoppable!"
Fox made the Landmaster hover and land on Pit again.
"Ow, my face!" screamed Pit.
The Landmaster abruptly disappeared in a mess of blue lines and Fox resurfaced with normal eyes. He stepped on Pit's face.
"Aww, look at Mr. Fox!" cooed Peach. "How could a harmless little guy like him have a move as strong as that?"
"I like colouring," said Fox, using his kni-red pencil to colour in Pit's face.
"See, now when am I gonna get to do that?" Kirby furiously addressed the Smashers.
"We have more important things to worry about!" hissed Snake irritably. "Yoshi just let the Subspace army know where we are!"
"Leave Kirby alone," defended Samus. "All he wants is to see his Final Smash!"
"Don't snap at me," retorted Snake.
"I'm snapping?" asked Samus incredulously.
"I'd say you are," snarled Snake.
"You trying to start something?" asked Samus. "You're as bad as that Ike."
"Hey!" protested Ike.
Link nodded at Ike.
"Yeah, okay..." said Ike resignedly.
"Maybe I am trying to start something," said Snake coldly. "Maybe I think we all need to realise the danger of the situation!"
"You still don't need to stop us from being who we are," replied Samus harshly. "The SSB has always been a collection of quirky characters. If you can't handle Kirby's desire to prove himself, or Fox's immaturity, or Mario's...accent, or Link's kindness, or Pikachu's religious beliefs, or any of us, you don't have to join us."
Snake looked puzzled, then replied in an apologetic tone. "Maybe being serious...is my thing..."
"Maybe so," replied Samus, indifferently.
"What's my thing?" asked Pit.
"I think you know," said Samus and Snake at the same time, glaring at Pit.
"Guys-a, they're coming back-a!" cried Mario, pointing at the sky.
Sure enough, a fleet of ships were closing in on Shadow Moses Island.
"We need-a to hold them off-a!" called Mario.
"How?" asked Pit frantically.
"Take down-a their ships!" replied Mario, firing FLUDD into the sky wildly.
"They're going to kill us all!" screamed Pit girlishly, firing arrow after arrow at the attackers.
"They've got ground forces coming in too!" alerted Kirby, next to one of the guard towers.
A swarm of Primids entered the helipad area.
"Get lost, dream freaks!" shouted Kirby, kicking a Primid away. "You're not blowing up this place!"
"Genociiiiiiiiide!" screamed Zelda, diving into the fray, setting Primids on fire all around her.
"Why aren't you all helping-a?" asked Mario, turning to the other Smashers.
"Because...he's here..." replied Link, pointing over Mario's shoulder.
"Aloha," smirked Sonic the Hedgehog, smirking at the Smashers.
"If my sources are correct – and they always are - , you four, attacking my men, you are Mario, Pit, Kirby and Zelda, yes?" asked the Ancient Minister.
"Y-yes sir," said Pit, weakly saluting.
"Up yours," scoffed Zelda, boldly flipping the bird.
"Yeah..." trailed off Kirby, petrified.
"What do you want-a?" asked Mario, standing his ground.
"The four of you are fools," laughed the Ancient Minister smoothly. "I think I'll kill you first..."
I finally have Brawl! I got it when this chapter was in progress, and it's everything I ever dreamed it to be!
href-heartfeltspeech.exe/errorcode404: Heartfelt speech not found.
Read and review, with speculations, favourite moments, whatever.
(was playing as Pikachu the first time I got Dr. Wright from an Assist Trophy, XDDDD)