a/n: sorry the ud for his has been so long, I have now finnisehd my other story so now my time will be spent on this.

Asclepius

EPOV

Getting out of my car, I saw Jasper place his and Alice's bags into the back of her car. Alice stood on the first step of the porch with a hesitant smile on her face looking at me.

She was still feeling bad about yesterday. I didn't want her to feel like that. I didn't. It wasn't her fault Bella had wandered out to the forest. Bella was capable of a lot of things and sneaking past without anyone noticing was easy for her.

"Leaving without saying good bye?" I was a little surprised. It looked like she was heading back to Seattle without telling me she was leaving.

Walking down the last step she made her way over to me. "I would have...I just thought..." her forehead furrowed forward. "I thought I would be the last person you would want to see, right now."

I knew I had practically swept Bella away from everyone last night but I had only been worried about how she was feeling. She was freezing when I had found her and I wanted to make sure she never got sick.

"Alice, don't be crazy...I know its hard..." I teased with a wink and with that she came to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I hugged her back tight knowing I was going to miss her, again. "Are you going to see Bella before you go?" I asked her.

She pulled away, shaking her head. "No, we said our good byes last night." her face looked sad and I knew that she was missing Bella already and all she wanted to do was avoid more pain. "But I will be back soon. I'll be back to see that you are treating her right." She rose an eyebrow at me.

It sounded as if she was trying to insinuate that there was something more going on than just helping her. I hated how it sounded, I wanted to stress it to them, so they knew I wasn't taking advantage of this girl but I knew my arguments would only be seen as something else.

"I'll try to help her." I promised. It was all I could promise her. "She did speak to me thought, last night. She was in New Orleans when Katrina hit." Alice gasped at my words covering her mouth with her hands. I struggled to look her in the eye as I told her.

It had been hard hearing her talk about it, her struggle to stay alive, then suddenly wanting to give up. What was worse was how she had saw her mum and her step father and the fact she had to leave them. It must have been the hardest decision she had ever had to make.

I felt my chest constrict at the thought and tried to not get emotional thinking about it. "Her...her mum and step dad, they died in it. They got stuck in the car and a boat had flew into the windscreen, killing them."

"Edward..." Alice gasped at my words as she pulled on my hands.

I didn't know what to think about that one. It truly must have been heartbreaking to witness that, and on some level I could understand her actions now but I also hated the fact that she had been so strong at the time and now she had began to cave in on herself.

"I know it's different, but I just struggle to see her tear herself down like this over it. She should be stronger." I knew it was so wrong of me to want her to be stronger, she had been through hell but it just killed me knowing she had pushed so hard and it seemed like now she had just given in.

"Edward, don't. I don't want you to think of her like that. Don't you dare. I need you to help her, not judge her. I thought we had been through this. You have saw through her, you see who she is, don't let the way she copes, make you pull always. You can't do that. You can't do that to her." Alice's voice was full of panic as she ranted.

"Don't worry. I wont. I know it's not the same, we have no memory of it, she does. I just...I just hate it. What it's done to her." I hated the fact that this was burned in her memory. My memories were practically non existent. She could still remember the look in her mums dead eyes.

Alice nodded but I could still see the worry on her face. I felt like I couldn't breath thinking about Bella's face once more.

"I need you to look after her, please..." Of course I would look after her, I wasn't giving up on her. Alice's grip on my had grew tighter, worrying.

"I won't. It wont affect me. I'm going help her if its the last thing I do." I was certain of it. I had to help her, not only because Alice was begging me to, but she had finally put faith in me to open up to let her heal.

"Where is she just now?" Alice asked looking a little worried.

"She's at mine, she knows I'll be right back. I just needed to get some papers from dads office and I know how difficult he's being so he most likely wouldn't drop them off."

"Is she okay?" You could still see the glint of worry in her eyes. I wondered if she would always carry that for Bella.

"She was when I left, she was going to have a bath. I told her to take it easy. I should be at work but she needs me today, especially after last night." I had taken a sick day on my second week of my new job. My father was going to kill me when he got his hands on me. I knew it was a risk to do it, but it was only one day.

Alice shook her head, her little black spikes shaking with her. "Dad is going to kill you when he sees you." I only laughed at her words as I shrugged. It was too late now to worry about it.

Alice glanced up at Jasper. he had been standing by the side of the car keeping quiet the whole time.

"We should be going..." He called to her and she only nodded her head once more, agreeing.

"I...I need to go, Edward. But call me if you need too." If I was honest, I needed her hear with me, because I was sure there were going to be more walls between Bella and I, and Alice was my best way through them.

"I will. I'll tell Bella you said good bye." She reached up, hugging me once more.

"Tell her she can call me whenever she wants, to talk about anything, or just to even listen." I knew she would need that, Bella was going to have to face reality and see that calling her mum was doing nothing for her. It wasn't healthy.

With that, Alice and Jasper got into the car before driving off, down the long winding drive.

Walking back into my apartment I called on her. "Bella." I was sure I had given her enough time to get ready without her feeling like I was intruding.

"Through here." her voice called from the lounge. I could smell something in the air and I knew she was cooking.

Walking through I saw her stir at a pot and I was dying to know what was smelling so good. It was making me hungry.

She smiled up at me as I made my way over to her, to the stove to see. "What are you cooking, that smells delicious."

She shrugged shyly, "Its just some risotto, I thought you might be hungry"

"Just, some risotto." I smiled at her words. I burned water so the fact she was managing this, I was more than little impressed.

She laughed at my tone, "Do you want it or not?" she teased.

"I definitely want some." I nodded. "Do you need a hand with anything?"

"Nope, doc. I have it all under control. You can have a seat." she ordered with the point of her finger to the lounge but I opted for the kitchen table so I could see her better.

I sniggered at her term that she called me. "Doc?" I looked up at her amused. I really didn't like that. That was what the nurses went around shouting, for my father, not me.

"What?" she looked over at me, questioning my surprised tone no doubt, as she began to slice through a big red sweet pepper. "You are the doc..." she looked over at me as if I was mad but she was still smiling.

"My father is, doc." I shook my head. "I'm not, doc."

"Your dad is a good man, nothing wrong with being given the same knick name." she shrugged nonchalantly.

I laughed at her words. I knew he was a good man, he was a good doctor but I still couldn't forgive him yet for the weekend, for me trying to help her. He was still bitter about it and I was bitter at him for not wanting me involved. "Maybe you should try being his son." I told her. Mumbling off, "He wasn't quite the good man at the weekend..."

Placing down the knife on the kitchen counter, she looked over at me, placing her hand on her hip. "He was only looking out for you. Its what they do. It's there jobs as fathers. They might not like what you do but they are there for you."

"You mean like how your father was there for you?" I knew it was a low blow, to have a dig at her father when he wasn't even here to defend himself. Instead I put Bella on the spot and I regretted it instantly.

"I'm sorry, that never came out the way I meant." I apologized but I would understand if she wanted away from me.

Her eyes dropped and she went back to her chopping and I wish I was able to see her face. "I knew what you meant. I get it. He leaves me alone as some kind of penance because...just because..." She sighed and I wondered if I was too much for her, after everything that was said last night, maybe she just needed something else to think about.

"He tries, he just doesn't know what to do." she shrugged again before letting out a yelp.

Jumping to my feet I rushed to her side, taking her hand in mine. She had cut herself with the knife because I had distracted her.

"Oh, god." she cried out as she began to sway. "I..I don't like blood." she seemed to distance herself as far as possible from her hand as she looked away, turning whiter by the second.

Taking her finger, I placed it in my mouth, sucking the blood dry from the wound. I could taste metal faintly on my tongue, the iron in her blood.

Bella stood there in shock, her eyes wide as she looked where her finger was. "Doesn't that make you want to be sick?" she asked, clearly disgusted.

Pulling her to the sink, I quickly turned on the tap and released her finger from my mouth, placing it under the cold flow of water.

"I'm a doctor so it would be a bit of a worry if blood made me squeamish." I laughed at the idea.

She looked up at me shyly, "Yeah but that...It was my blood..." she bit down on her lip nervously. "I could have anything."

"I'm pretty sure I never saw anything to worry about, that time I saw your chart." It was clean, her blood was fine. There had been so many tested done to her after overdoses and stomach pumps, that they showed her blood was fine.

She still never met my eye as she seemed to slope off into her own little world, not saying a word.

I reached for some kitchen roll, holding the cut tight so not to let it bleed out again and to help dry it off of the water. "Can you hold that a second while I look out a band aid?"

She looked up at me, giving a tight smile as she gripped on to her finger.

I was back with her second later after looking out a band aid for her. "I think your right, doc isn't your name. I think you're, Asclepius."

I looked at her, completely confused. "Who?"

"Asclepius, he was a Greek god." She said completely serious.

I laughed at her words, "You think I'm a Greek god?" I tried to hid my snigger at even saying that out loud.

Her eyes close shut and she turned the deepest shade of read. "I...I never..." She could barely get her words out after that one.

"I just meant you are like Asciepius, he was the god of healing. You know, the rod of Asciepius." she shrugged again, trying to avoid my eyes.

I looked at her, completely unsure of what she was talking about. "What?" I asked.

She laughed at my expression and she seemed like she began to relax a little.

"The little symbol on paramedic badges and things like that. The rod of Asciepius."

I knew what she was talking about, but only just. I saw those badges daily. They had them on ambulances, paramedic uniforms, they even had the little logo dotted around the hospital. It was a universal sign really, of some form of medic. The little white circle with the staff and the serpent wrapped around it.

"Is that what that is?" I asked surprised that she knew that.

She nodded a little. "You're, Asciepius." She shrugged.

"So its because I help people and not because I look like a god?" I felt a little gutted at that revelation. I would much rather her think I looked like a god than acted like one.

"Well...I suppose you look like one a bit, pale skin, sharp features..." she shrugged a little and by the expression on her face I knew she was teasing.

"So I look like a god and I have a rod?" I asked, so well amused at the things and innuendos this girl was unintentional saying. "So, tell me, is the rod big?"

She burst into a fit of laughter, smacking my shoulder with her hand. "You are bad. Here I was just trying to give you a knick name and you turn it into something dirty."

"Least give me a knick name I can pronounce. I thought the idea of a knick name was to make it easier, not harder."

"See, no genuine sentimentality with you, its all just about some quick fun." She laughed.

Before I knew it words were flying out of my mouth, to retaliate. "You, Bella, would never be some quick fun."

Her face faltered at my tone. I knew she had caught the true nature behind my words. She would never be some quick fun to me, not like how all those other guys had treated her, if she was mine it would be slow and passionate.

I felt myself panic as her eyes stayed locked onto mine, the astonished look across her face.

Quickly, I tried to change the atmosphere. It could never be something quick and fun, but at the same time it could never be anything slow and passionate either.

"Give me your finger?" I asked quickly and her face became confused. "Your cut." I reminded her with a nod to her hand and the bit kitchen towel around the little wound.

Shaking her head, she brought herself back to reality, back to where we were before I messed it all up with my inappropriate words.

I place the plaster on the cut as Bella looked off to the side. I didn't know if it was me she was trying to avoid or her cut. I prayed it was at the cut and the fear of blood.

"Anyway, I thought Saints were more your thing?" I asked, trying to keep some general conversation going. Not to cripple the atmosphere completely.

"Yeah...I suppose." she shrugged and I could feel the weight of my words pull down our afternoon.

"What's better? Gods or Saints?" I asked smiling at her, trying to encourage that life in her to flare up again. She had been relaxed right until I had put my foot in it with my words sounding like I was trying to get her into bed. No wonder she had closed up, here I was telling her she could trust me and then I was saying things like that. I was so annoyed at myself, for not being more careful of my words, careful of my damn mouth.

"Saints...They were people." She nodded slightly.

"Is Alice the only one that is a Saint?" I knew I had over heard the two of them talk, Alice telling her I was one, but Bella had got pretty upset at that entire conversation and I had no idea why. I knew I was no saint but the way Bella acted as Alice argued with her on it, it was so weird.

She tucked her hair behind her ear, her eyes going to the floor. "Who told you that?" she rushed out, panic lacing her voice.

I was taken aback, it was as if it was some kind of secret. "Alice said that she was Jude and I heard you talking about saints. I assumed that's why you called her that."

She nodded a little hesitantly. "Jude, hope for the hopeless." she sounded so serious, as if she truly believed it.

I laughed a little at her words, playfully elbowing her. "You must be bad if Alice is your hope." I told her playfully with a wink."

She laughed a little too and I could see the tension leave her shoulders and I knew that she was coming back to me, that she was relaxing once more.

"So...think that finger is up to some more chopping? I really want to try that risotto?" She nodded with a shy smile and made her way to the pepper and began chopping again.

I wanted to do something, I wanted to help her our. I didn't like her doing this for me but she seemed happy doing it. She seemed to relax again and the conversation turned back to general chit chat.

Watching Bella, she sat watching the television intently. She had gotten quiet and I began to wonder if she was worried about returning to work tomorrow. I knew that she had to go, not just for money, but she also needed routine. She needed something to occupy her and as dull it would be for her, I knew it was all she had to do. She didn't attend college, in fact I didn't even know if she had graduated high enough for that to be an option for her.

"Are you alright?" I asked in a hushed voice, looking for conversation but not wanting to intrude in her viewing.

Her head snapped to mine, our eyes meeting and I could see the dazed look on face. She looked like she had been deep in though and not watching the television after all.

"Fine." she smile tightly before her eyes drifted back to the television.

I left her for a few minutes and had got nothing else out of her so I switch off the television trying to regain her attention so I could talk to her. She was anything but "fine".

Her head turned around and she gave another tight smile. "That was good." she said it as if it had finished, not cut it off half way through. Now I knew she was distracted.

"Bella, it wasn't finished." I told her flatly.

Her brows creased as she looked back to the screen before looking back at me. "Really?" She asked confused.

"What is it? Is it work? Are you worried about going back?" I knew the Newtons were a nice family, well there son was questionable but that was just general talk amongst the younger population of the town. He had been in Alice's year but she never spoke of him. Alice never spoke of any one, to be honest. Well no one except, Bella.

"No, Mrs Newton is pretty nice to me. Well to my face at least." she shrugged. "I'm sure that's only cos my dad is the chief, but I can't complain."

"Well what is it? Something is on your mind." I knew there was. The fact she thought the movie had finished when I switched it off was indication of that.

She sighed and looked away. "I suppose its just waiting for the gossip to start again. Its a small town, everyone knows my business..." She sighed again and it was hard to hear. She was struggling here.

"No one knows your business, Bella. You were right, this town knows nothing and until they do they cant understand so don't think about it. All those people who talk about you, they know nothing. They don't know shit. Ignore them. All they are is arrogant assholes." I ranted out.

She looked back at me a little startled. "Easy." she put her hand up as if to surrender. "I know that, I do. It just doesn't stop the whispering behind my back as they watch me."

"Well tell the truth then, let them understand." I almost shouted my words at her. I needed her to be stronger than this.

"It isn't easy. It was painful enough to tell you. I just don't want to have to think about it again." She told me finally.

"Well your gonna have to, and you are going to have to work through it all. We will sit down and go through it bit by bit, injury by injury, nightmare by nightmare, and I will make this stop haunting you, make you stop living in the past." I was firm with my words and I could see the fear in her eyes at the realization of what was to come. But if we never go through it, she would never heal. She deserved to heal. She was completely broken and constantly risking her life, and trying to end it because of it. I couldn't have that. I couldn't have her die on me.

She didn't get to leave me.

Not after she sent my world spinning in the matter of days of knowing her. Not after I had made the worst possible actions, trying to punish her. Not after I had saved her life and especially not after she had began to trust me.

She didn't get to leave me.

Not ever.

Bella had asked if she could stay the night once more, and once more, I couldn't refuse her. It was almost impossible. Looking into those big brown innocent eyes, you just lay down to her demand. I knew it was weakening me, weakening my chance to help her. I should have been firmer and stood my ground, sending her home. But at the same time I couldn't do that to her, I couldn't send her home to nightmares. She would only distance herself from me and go back to strange guys and I couldn't have that either. I couldn't do that after I promised her father I would help her.

She walked in to my bedroom wearing one of my t-shirts once more and it made my heart leap as I looked at her. All it made me want to do, was to hold her tight, chase away her bad dreams and make her happy.

I took in everything of this girl, the small wave to her hair, the tiny red tone to it that you could only really see with the light bouncing off if it. Her chewed down nails. The freckles on her nose and her cheeks, in contrast to her porcelain white skin. Her tiny frame that looked like it could snap so easily.

She smiled at me, as she climbed in, some apprehension that flickered in her gaze. Was it at facing reality come morning or was it getting in beside me?

She rested the covers over the top of her and I made a move to bring them up closer to her chin.

She laughed at me and shook her head. "I'm fine Edward, you don't have to baby me." she sighed mockingly.

"I know. I just want to make sure you are warm enough." She radiated the cold when she climbed under the bed covers.

"I can look after myself." she laughed lightly and I wonders if it was true. Could she really look after herself. I didn't trust her words too much.

I never replied to her words, instead I reached for the lamp, turning it off, plunging the room into darkness with only a little glare coming in through the curtains.

We both shuffled below the covers in silence, trying to make ourselves comfortable. In one quick brush, I felt Bella's hand graze across the skin of my forearm. She was stone cold. I had no idea how she could constantly cool down like she did. It was a little worrying.

"Christ, Bella, your freeing, come here." I reached out in the dark, below the covers hunting out her hands. My eyes had yet to adjust to the blackness of the room but I found them, Bella reaching out for me.

I took both her hands and pulled her forward, closer to me. I placed them on my chest, my hands over the top of hers and hoped she would get a heat in her soon. I could feel the chill from her hands seep through the material of my t-shirt and it cooled me down too.

"How come you're always so warm?" She asked with an almost amused tone to her voice.

"How come you're always so cold?" I laughed back.

I felt her shrug in bed, "You know what they say, cold hands, cold heart."

I laughed at her words, she was wrong, wrong with the phrase and wrong with herself. "I think you mean, could hands, warm heart. I think that's a little more fitting for you too."

She sighed, "I don't know about that."

I shuffled close to her, moving one of my hands away from hers and sweeping it up her arm and up to her shoulder. I could feel the warmth of the material at her her shoulder on the t-shirt and I knew she was at least warm somewhere.

I was beginning to see in the dark by now and I could see the small beam of light hit off of Bella's eyes. Little white dots in the dark. I could see her features a little now, I could make out her noes and I could make out her lips, I could see the plumpness of her bottom one, waiting there, begging to be kissed.

She shuffled a little and it brought her ever closer to me. I could now feel her breath float across my cheek and it was incredible.

I shuffled a little again and I didn't know if it was because I was trying to make myself comfortable or if it was my body trying to will its self closer to Bella.

Fuck, this was wrong.

So fucking wrong.

But I couldn't seem to pull away.

I never seemed able to pull myself away from her.

I felt my heart rate increase, I felt nervous. I could feel my breaths become shallower. I begged that Bella would never notice. That she couldn't tell the effect she had over me.

I hadn't even thought about it, but realizing now where I her other hand rested, it was across my heart. I didn't know if that was there I had placed it or if she had shifted it as we moved around earlier.

I could see her face a little clearer now. I could see the questioning in her stare as she looked right into me.

I felt like I was an open diary and she was running through all my secrets.

I closed my eyes, trying to forget what was happening, to will sleep to come to me. I needed to sleep, I needed to get away from Bella.

I had no idea what had happened for the air to change, it had been fairly relaxed. We had spoke a little more about her returning to work. Her telling me that she would have to put up with Mike.

Now all I could think about was her eyes and lips.

Her breathes still swept across the planes of my face and I opened my eyes to be met with hers once again.

I felt my heart jump a few beats in pace and I knew it was noticeable. She would feel it with her hand over my chest.

She licked her lips and my eyes were pulled to them. She wasn't trying to be seductive. It was a quick lick, meant to moisten her lips, it wasn't meant to tease me.

The incredible questioning look in her eyes made me think she was feeling what I was feeling and had no idea how to act. To pull away or to push forth.

We couldn't push forth. We couldn't

I felt myself grow warmer, the static electricity between us was menacing but so desirable at the same time. I liked this feeling. I wanted this feeling. I wanted it to stay and to never leave. I wanted to know if it was from curiosity or if there was something more behind it.

What the hell was I doing.

I couldn't act upon it. I couldn't.

She swallowed down and her breath stuttered. I knew she felt it too.

I wanted to kiss her.

I wanted her.

This was so dangerous. Her father would kill me if he ever found out anything had happened. Hell, he would kill me if he knew the thoughts I was having.

She shuffled closer again and I knew she was testing the water. She was testing me and she was going to watch me drown if anything were to happen.

I was to help her.

I was offering her a haven for the night, the chance to sleep without someone pushing themselves on to her.

I would not kiss her.

Her breaths grew shallower and I could feel the quickening of her breaths on my face.

Christ, this was so painful.

I wanted to reach out and touch her. Smooth down her hair, stroke her cheek and tilt up her chin towards me. I wanted to press my lips up against hers and feel the pillows of her pout. I wanted to taste her kiss.

I closed my eyes, trying to shut down my senses, or keep them, however you would look at it.

I tried to regain some control of myself. I had too.

I would not kiss her.

I would not do it.

I refused to.

I refused to let her down and I refused to giver her father an excuse to murder me.

But then it was too late.

I felt the soft of her lip brush mine, I felt the pillows of her pout as she pushed forward and felt the stroke of her cheek as my hand betrayed me, cupping her face so tenderly.

It was almost as if it wasn't happening.

It was slow and it was passionate.

And I felt my resolve for this girl, slip away.

a/n: I know I have been away for a while on this one but please review and let me know what you think so far.