Oh, it's you. Back for more? Ungrateful swine. I hope you die. Go to hell.

Now that I'm done talking to that pesky spam email, it's time for more useless facts that are two-thirds false! And maybe a chapter!

The author took eleven hours to write the King Dedede rap. Long, boring road trips for the win.

Pit's voice actor actually lives in a closet.

Joseph Stalin named his pet hamster Fox McCloud in honor of his favourite Brawl-uh, Rebuilding character. In response, the author swore to name his first-born child King Dedede.

Rebuilding

Chapter 32: Duplicatapalooza

Dear Overlord, from none other than the Ancient Minister,

I understand that your plan is highly intricate, and if a mastermind such as yourself concocted it, it must be an effective plan indeed.

I'm attempting to restrain myself from pursuing the old SSB, but the news that Wolf O'Donnell is reassembling them is no concern to me. In layman's terms, I couldn't care less about O'Donnell.

My only hope is that you relay my next orders to me in advance. It's getting very tiresome – even for somebody like me – to do nothing but lie in hiding monitoring a group of such ...idiocy.

Meta-Knight picked up Pit, and threw him against a platform. He then followed up with some quick slices.

"Okay, right, I think we should take that...training...to the next step," said Snake, bemusedly watching Meta-Knight.

"Whatever, I told you I kick ass," scoffed Meta-Knight.

"Yeah, uh, back when Sonic and I were..." hesitated Snake.

"Misguided," offered Sonic helpfully.

"Yeah, misguided, thanks," continued Snake. "The Ancient Minister gave us a Smash Ball each so that we could unleash our Final Smashes in critical situations."

"And we never did," said Sonic. "So Snake, do you want to go first, or should I?"

"Whoa, hold up, dawg," protested King Dedede. "I think I should get to usizzle mah Final S!"

"Yeah, we didn't get ours either!" said Nana indignantly.

"Nana, I don't mind waiting," said Popo quietly. Nana punched him and took the Smash Ball.

"Hey! I was about to use that, yo!" yelled King Dedede, infuriated.

It was too late.

"Bite me, penguin," said Evil Nana coldly, as the Smash Ball's energy infected Popo along with her.

"Bwahaha! Bring destruction swiftly, my comrade!" cackled Evil Popo, standing back to back with Evil Nana.

"It's time for cold murder!" laughed Evil Nana. She span around and hi-fived Popo.

"Nothing's happening," observed Pit.

"Hahaha! Your Final Smash is pathetic!" laughed Fox.

"Silence, fool!" barked Evil Nana.

"I'm rubber and you're glue!" laughed Fox, blowing a raspberry.

"Fox, stand over here!" ordered Evil Popo.

"Alrighty!" cheered Fox, skipping over merrily to the Evil Ice Climbers.

The two Eskimo children began reciting a horribly evil sounding Latin chant.

"Glacies...advoco...glacies...advoco..."

"My first boyfriend spoke Latin," smiled Pit casually.

"Seriously, what's your problem?" asked DK, disgusted.

Without warning, a giant iceberg erupted right underneath Fox's feet, blowing him up into the air.

"I'm scared!" whimpered Fox, falling back down at a high speed.

"Now is quite literally the winter of your discontent!" cackled Evil Nana, as Evil Popo shepherded the other Smashers into the iceberg.

"You will all freeze and die!" bellowed Evil Popo.

Slowly, one by one, the Super Smash Brothers froze. In the middle of a planet consisting mainly of lava. Anyway, they froze. In ice and everything. Logical.

"Uh, I didn't freeze," pointed out Yoshi.

Evil Popo stuck his foot out, and Yoshi tripped head first into the iceberg.

"Oh, son of a bi-" began Yoshi, but he froze.

The Ice Climbers shook their heads and returned to normal.

"Wow, we froze everybody!" cheered Nana. "Now this is awesome!"

"Shouldn't we help them?" asked Popo. "If we just stand around here doing nothing, somebody's sure to reuse the old joke where somebody licks ice and their tongue gets stuck!"

...

"Or worse, they could die!" finished Popo.

Nana punched Popo and ate his family.

"Popo, you braindead deadbrain!" mocked Nana. "We're on a planet made of lava! They'll unfreeze in no time!"

Nothing happened.

"No time!" said Nana.

Nothing happened.

"No time," grunted Nana angrily.

Nothing happened.

Nana hit the ice with her hammer.

It shattered immediately, freeing everyone.

"I don't even want to know how that worked over natural heat," sighed Popo, shaking his head.

"Good, because I'm not telling you," said Nana, punching him again.

"Wow-a, I can't believe your Final Smash-a froze us!" cried Mario, pulling ice chips out of his neck.

"Pfft, what are you talking about?" asked Ike dismissively. "They're the Ice Climbers, it was pretty obvious!"

"Hey, don't you have words at me-a!" reprimanded Mario angrily.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, what are you gonna do, fight me?" asked Ike. "Yeah right."

"Well, no-a," replied Mario. "I'm not going to attack an ally-a at a time like this-a!"

"I don't know man, we're not really allies," said Ike, gesturing around at everyone else. "We're more like a close knot of people who hate each other."

"Yeah, I guess-a that's true!" chuckled Mario.

"I hate you, Mario!" laughed Ike, clapping Mario on the shoulder.

"I hate-a you too, man!" grinned Mario.

"Okay, but nobody hate Fox," smiled Ike, still laughing.

"Why-a?" asked Mario, wiping away tears of joy from his eyes.

"He has a bomb!" chuckled Ike.

"Wait, what-a?!" asked Mario frantically. He ran over to Fox, who was showing his bomb to the kids.

"Wow mac, that's a pretty cools bomb!" whistled Diddy appreciatively.

"Just be careful with it, please," said Lucas, intimidated. "Don't do anything...Foxish..."

"Like what?" asked Fox innocently. "Like throwing it? Like this?"

Fox threw the ironically named Smart Bomb at Lucas and Diddy Kong. It exploded on impact and engulfed the two kids in a cataclysmic explosion unrivalled by any other item.

"Oh no, I made a silly!" cried Fox. "I need to run away! Run away!"

Fox burst into tears and ran away from the large explosion.

"Mac, shut it offs!" screamed Diddy. "Don't you have a defuse things or something?"

"Please, Fox!" squealed Lucas. "Being in an explosion is rather painful!"

"I know! I'll fight fire with fire!" chuckled Fox. He threw another Smart Bomb at the explosion. Nothing happened.

"Aw, it's a dud!" frowned Fox. The first explosion died down, leaving Lucas and Diddy burnt and in pain.

"Fox, you idiot!" reprimanded DK, picking up the kids. "Look what you've done to my nephew and this other kid!"

"Haha, you said done!" laughed Fox hysterically. DK rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Hey-a, what's that over there-a?" asked Mario, pointing at a small fleet of ships flying through Norfair.

"Looks like...ships?" asked Link, taken aback.

"People are coming out of them!" cried Pikachu, pointing.

Four identical men, with only a different color scheme to mark them as individuals, stepped out of the ship and marched towards the Super Smash Brothers. Upon closer inspection, it became apparent why they were identical.

All four of them were Mario clones.

"Clones of me-a?" asked Mario, shocked. "This must be the work-a of the Minister-a!"

"Eliminate target: Mario..." droned a clone wearing white with red overalls – the Fire Mario outfit.

"Destroy..." droned a Mario wearing Wario's colors.

"Decimate..." droned a black and white Mario.

"Um, kill..." droned a blue and brown Mario.

The four Marios marched towards the real Mario, all with blank, expressionless faces devoid of emotion.

"I'm-a scared, here!" panicked Mario. He looked around at the other Smashers, but more ships were surrounding them, with other clones emerging.

"Eliminate Donkey Kong..." droned a white, yeti-looking DK clone.

"Crush Link..." droned a Link clone wearing a blue tunic, with a Dark Link clone following him.

"Terminate Samus Aran..." droned a clone of Samus clad in the Fusion suit.

"I forgot my line...Fox McCloud..." droned a Fox clone wearing all black.

"Acquire target...Pikachu..." droned (getting tired of that word yet? I am) a Pikachu clone wearing blue goggles, while two others – one with a red hat and another with a green bandana – followed.

"Brain malfunction...kill Zelda! Kill Zelda!" laughed a Zelda clone wearing a black dress. A Zelda wearing faded colors with blonder hair laughed evilly with its partner, and the real Zelda joined in.

"Kill 'em all!" laughed the real Zelda.

"Slapfight...Pit..." droned a golden Pit clone, with a black one following him.

"Oh, it's on like one of the Kongs!" said the real Pit indignantly, gesturing with his hands flamboyantly.

"Eradicate Ike..." droned a tan Ike, as a golden Ike unsheathed a fake looking Ragnell.

A final ship crashlanded in a gap in the circular formation formed by the others, and three Snake clones stepped out.

"All traitors to the glorious Subspace Army will be destroyed!" bellowed one of the fake Snakes. "Sympathisers to the traitors too!"

"Mario, there's an Assist Trophy over there!" cried Link. The real Link. He pointed at an out-of-reach ledge with an Assist Trophy sitting on it.

"Can anyone get-a to it?" asked Mario urgently. Everyone was too busy fighting their clones.

"The Dededes are closest!" pointed out Snake, who dodged a punch from his leopard-print clone.

Mario looked over at the Dededes. The real Dedede got up onto a higher platform, and turned on his boombox.

"Oh god," sighed real and clone Kirbies alike, all squeezing their eyes shut in frustration.

"I'm Dedede, the real King Dedede,

All you otha' Dededes are jus' imitatin',

Won't the real Dedede please stand up?

Please stand up?

Please stand up?" rapped the real Dedede.

"You are the real Dedede, you idiot!" shouted the real Kirby. "Just grab that Assist Trophy, kill Pit somehow, and shut your goddamn mouth for once in your freakin' life!"

"Whoa, Kirby, that was a little over the top," said the real Pokemon Trainer, as two sets of his three Pokemon battled behind him. "Try calming down a tad!"

"Die," replied Kirby angrily.

Dedede smacked one of his clones in the side with his hammer, and cracked the Assist Trophy over another Dedede's head.

A young looking blond boy appeared, with an unusual weapon.

"Pikachu, care to explain this guy?" asked Sonic, trying to outrun his clones.

"He's Saki Amamiya, and that thing he has is his Cannon Sword," replied Pikachu quickly. "He was a warrior the Excitebikers had to face when they were delivering the doctrines for the Holy Instruction Manual!"

"Who am I attacking here?" asked Saki, looking confused amongst the midst of clones.

"Anyone who looks discoloured!" cried Samus, ducking Missile fire from her clones.

Saki nodded slowly, and jumped around the battle, slashing the sword part of his cannon and firing the cannon part of his sword.

"Take this!" cried Saki, firing a shot at an Ike clone, killing him immediately.

"Thanks, kid!" called Ike, now ducking under two cloned Ragnells instead of three.

Saki fired and slashed as fast as he could, killing extra clones, but eventually, he slowed down.

"Damn! I'm starting to fade!" called Saki. "Take this, somebody real! You'll need it..."

Saki threw a Smash Ball into the confusion, and quickly disappeared.

"Everyone-a, charge attacks!" cried Mario. "Try to make-a your way to the Smash Ball!"

"How come you get to lead us all the time and I don't?" asked Fox innocently, who was playing board games with his clones while everyone else fought.

"Because you're an idiot!" everyone else, real and clone, snapped back.

Link took out his Bow, and stepped back a considerable distance from his clones.

"Who hasn't used their Final Smash yet?" asked Link cautiously, charging an arrow.

"No idea!" called Pikachu, charging his Skull Bash.

Link and Pikachu let their moves go, and killed another Link and Pikachu.

"Anyone know who hasn't had a Final Smash yet?" asked Link.

"Link, why does it matter?" asked Pikachu, irritated.

"Well, it's a show of good faith to the others," hissed Link quietly.

Link and Pikachu looked up at Ike, DK and Samus, who were overhead battling clones.

"We've all had ours, Link," grunted Samus, firing a Missile at a clone. "But I've got a plan!"

"It's time for a donkey punch!" roared DK, swinging his arm.

"Bow chicka-" quipped Ike. Samus elbowed him in the gut, and charged her Power Beam.

"Clear a path for someone up there to get it!" called Samus, jerking her head at Snake, Sonic and Dedede, who were closest to the Smash Ball.

"Got it!" nodded DK. He let his punch go, knocking a DK clone through the crowd, while Samus fired her fully charged shot, decimating several different clones to create a brief straight line.

"Now!" cried DK. "Someone get it! Save us!"

Snake, Sonic and Dedede evaded their clones and ran at the Smash Ball. Sonic, being much faster, reached it first, but a body smashed through the ball ahead of him.

"Dude, what the-" asked Sonic, before seeing who it was.

Lucas stood up, with sinisterly purple eyes.

"Oh, Luke, dude, it's just you," shrugged Sonic. "No big deal, I guess even your clones are tougher than you. That must suck, huh-hey, what are you doing?"

Evil Lucas picked Sonic up by the neck.

"Dispensible fool," scoffed Evil Lucas, tossing Sonic aside. "Stay here and watch how a real fighter handles their powers!"

Sonic opened his mouth to respond, but Snake and Dedede grabbed him and pulled him away from Evil Lucas.

"Just do it, Lucas!" shouted Kirby, who was pinned against a rock by his three clones, all of whom were brandishing their hammers.

"Save us!" cried Pokemon Trainer, all three of his Pokemon tired and bruised.

"Use the force," said Obi-Wan.

"Angry letter!" declared George Lucas.

"Hurry, dammit!" cried Bowser, wrestling his clones.

"...sued for plagiarism...by George Lucas..." read the author, checking his mail.

Evil Lucas bowed down before Obi-Wa-no, officer, everything's fine here-and focused his mind.

"P...K..."

A small yellow meteor of psychic energy rained down, killing a Lucas clone.

"STAAAAAAARSTORM!" screamed Evil Lucas. Massive pillars of energy rained down from the sky, killing clones left and right, getting faster and faster with time.

"There's a friendly fire prevention thing going on, right?" asked Link, nervously running away from a meteor.

"If there wasn't you'd be dead by now," replied Zelda casually, avoiding flying corpses.

"How much control does the Final Smash energy have over the poor kid, anyway?" gasped Samus. "He's like a completely different person!"

"All will perish!" yelled Lucas, directing meteors.

"Uh, I'd say about one hundred..." began Kirby.

"Death to the clones!" bellowed Lucas.

"...and one percent," finished Kirby, changing his answer mid-sentence.

"I wonder if I'm the only one who realises that Lucas is probably going to destroy this web of interconnected platforms that separates us from a fiery death," thought DK aloud.

...

DK cleared his throat. "I said, I wonder-"

"We heard you, we just don't care," replied Kirby quickly.

The starstorm ended, and all the clones were dead.

"Oh god!" cried Fox at once, pointing at a body. "I'm dead!"

"Uh, Fox-a, that's not you," said Mario. "That's a clone of you, remember-a?"

"Oh," said Fox.

He pointed at another body.

"Oh god!" cried Fox. "I'm dead!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "That's another-a clone of you."

"Oh," said Fox.

He pointed at another body.

"Oh god!" cried Fox. "I'm dead!"

"That's a clone of me-a," said Mario angrily. "Seriously Fox-a, you might be the dumbest person-a your enemies, like that Star Wolf-a guy, ever encountered-a!"

"It'd only be worse if the guy met, I don't know, Jigglypuff or something!" laughed Bowser.

"Yeah, I think he'd flip and bomb Corneria!" chuckled Wario. "That's what I'd do!"

Lucas walked over to the group, shaking his head wearily.

"Mr. Lucas, you did it!" grinned Peach. She kneeled down and hugged Lucas, and the nicer Smashers began praising him.

"I did it?" asked Lucas modestly. "I killed the clones?"

"Yeah!" cheered Pit, hugging Lucas like Peach had. "You're my hero!"

Pit looked up from the hug, and looked deeply into Lucas' eyes.

Everyone punched Pit.

"So what are we going to do about all these corpses?" asked Lucas.

Slowly, one-by-one, every Smasher turned to look at Zelda.

"Zelda, are you thinking what we're thinking?" asked Link slyly.

"Even better," grinned Zelda evilly.

And that's another chapter out of the way! For what feels like about the thirty-second time I've said this, review me! Try to pronounce the name of this chapter, then say it ten times fast! Tell me how you can't look at Pit, Zelda, Dedede, etc, the same way any more! Share your favourite characters, moments, or whatever like you normally do! I will most likely send a reply from my Big Book of Review Reply Mad-Libs!

Also, I'm back at school, so this may slow down new chapter progress. I'm deeply sorry about that, but hey, gives you more time to think up cool adventures to be had next chapter only for me to prove them wrong with something stupid happening!

Or whatever.