Been forgetting to mention this for two chapters now, but you can now check out the first two of the deviantART drawings for The Best of Rebuilding! I should be easy to find there, same username. Kind of like a glorified clip show. Now phor some phun phacts!

Rebuilding is actually even better than you think if you're drunk or stoned or ISK himself.

Paris Hilton believes every single one of these facts. Reason #263 why she's hated by the author.

The author sings the Rebuilding theme song every time you read a chapter. Please, don't make him do it again.

Rebuilding

Chapter 34: Best Final Smash Ever

Dear Overlord, from none other than the Ancient Minister,

You granted me the use of all our Army's equipment, including the clone army. As such, I have already used the clone army. They failed however.

I trust the temporal distortion ray I designed for your personal gunship's use proved effective. All our new equipment should make our conquest even easier, and barring any more of these minor conflicts over clones, we should become unstoppable.

I will indeed put my renewed brainwashing powers to good use, Overlord. I thank you.

The Ancient Minister stayed in his hiding spot near Peach's Castle, watching Wolf, Jigglypuff and Ganondorf take off in the Wolfen.

"Telepathy interference system, online," said the Ancient Minister in a monotone. He began hearing Master Hand's message inside his head.

"Time to alter..." smirked the Minister. He began changing Master Hand's speech, twisting and distorting each word to create entirely different orders.

"This is Master Hand, Wolf...Wolf...Excellent, Wolf...Now that you have some veterans, you should head back here to New Pork City...This is Master Hand, Wolf-olf-based on what they saw earlier-based on what they-"

The Ancient Minister then threw in some of his sound files, to create words that weren't even in Master Hand's message. All the while a metallic smirk crept onto his face.

"This is Master Hand, Mr. Game and Watch. Excellent, Wolf-olf-Wolf...stop the Ancient Minister at all costs-stop...Wolf...at all costs...the Subspace Army...Army...good luck, Wolf...good luck, Mr. Game and Watch..."

"That should do it," grinned the Ancient Minister softly. He then concentrated on Port Town, trying to tap into the powers his Overlord had granted him...

"This is Master Hand, Mr. Game and Watch."

"Hey, this is Game and Watch alright, I have ya!" came Mr. Game and Watch's voice. Again, the Minister grinned. He's so gullible, thought the Minister.

"Wolf – has some – Subspace Army."

"I knew it!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch, sounding both triumphant and angry. "I knew he was with the Subspace!"

"Trace – the Super Smash Brothers – stop – Wolf – at all costs. Good luck – Mr. Game and Watch."

"I'm right on it, sir! I'll get together with the veterans, and we'll crush Wolf! You can count on us!" said Mr. Game and Watch quickly.

The Ancient Minister closed the connection, and laughed evilly to himself. "Another successful brainwashing! I'm getting very good at this whole mind-altering thing! Isn't that right, Krystal?"

The Minister walked over to a camouflaged Arwing, where Krystal stood emotionlessly. A wriggling sack lay next to her.

"Affirmative, glorious Subspace leader..." droned Krystal.

Seven years earlier, the Super Smash Brothers were nervously trying to come up with a plan.

"I've got it!" realised Link. "Why don't we just pull the Master Sword out of the Pedestal of Time? That speeds time up by seven years or something!"

"No, see Link-a, your past self will have-a the sword at the Mansion-a," pointed out Mario.

"Yeah, dumbass," added Kirby.

"So why don't we just go to the past Smash Mansion and get Mewtwo to transport us through time?" suggested Pikachu. "He can probably do it!"

"But Pikachu, getting there could take a long time!" said Pokemon Trainer. "A for effort, though!"

"No, he's right," realised Samus. "If the Bridge of Eldin is next to Smashville in this story, that means Hyrule Temple must be on the other side of the Bridge. It's actually about a twenty-minute walk. In fact, with my visor, I can see the Mansion from here..."

"That place over there?" asked Snake, squinting his eyes. "It's swarming with purple things..."

"Wireframes..." groaned DK under his breath.

Just then, the Hylian postman reappeared from Castle Town, struggling with a heavy package.

"Excuse me, kind sir?" asked Link politely. "What's in the package?"

"Master Hand down at the old Smash Brother place," replied the postman, shaking his head. "He wants a whole new shipment of Pokeballs. Something about new Pokemon in Johto or something..."

Everyone looked at each other, nodding in an understanding manner.

"Sir, may we have some of those Pokeballs?" asked Link.

"No way!" snapped the postman. "These have to go to Master Hand, it's urgent!"

Link whispered something to Zelda.

"WE! NEED! THOSE!" screamed Zelda, taking out a tyre iron and beating the postman with it. The latter's skull shattered and partially flew out of his ear.

"I think he's dead..." said Meta-Knight, alarmed.

"Okay, we've got the Pokemon," said Bowser impatiently. "So how are we going to train them to do what we want?"

Everyone looked at Pokemon Trainer.

"Ohhhh...because he trains Pokemon...so he's a Pokemon Trainer-yes! I get it!" realised Fox, minutes behind everyone else.

"Me?!" asked Pokemon Trainer. "I can't kill! It's bad for the psyche! My mental house of cards would come crashing down if I killed somebody!"

"Wireframes aren't people," said all the Melee veterans at the same time.

"Well..." hesitated Pokemon Trainer.

"They're legendaaaaary..." teased Pikachu.

Pokemon Trainer immediately picked up a Pokeball. Suicune burst out.

"What?" snapped Suicune.

"Suicune, use Ice Beam!" commanded Pokemon Trainer. Suicune rolled its eyes, dashed forward, and shot a beam of ice (I get it!) at one of the Wireframes, killing it.

"Now just kill them all without alerting any of our past versions, Mr. Trainer!" said Peach.

"Lugia, use Aeroblast! Entei, use Fire Blast!" cried Pokemon Trainer, throwing two balls as the Smashers moved further along the bridge.

A pillar of fire burst around a knot of Wireframes, with Lugia's aerial blast decimating all trapped inside.

"Dude, I think you've gone blind with fake power," said Sonic.

"No, I'm blind with teamwork!" grinned Pokemon Trainer. "Staryu, use Swift!"

A star-shaped Pokemon shot stars at Wireframes, knocking them all out of the way.

Suddenly, as the Smashers re-entered Smashville, the past version of Master Hand stormed out of the Mansion angrily.

"What's going on here?" demanded Past Master Hand.

"B-Bellossom, use Sleep Powder!" stuttered the Trainer nervously, sending out a small flower dancer Pokemon. Master Hand fell asleep at once.

"Nice thinkin', G," whistled Dedede appreciatively.

Unfortunately, a swarm of Wireframes had now surrounded the Super Smash Brothers, due to Master Hand's still form.

"Great-a, they think he's dead-a," sighed Mario, rolling his eyes.

"Go, Ho-oh!" yelled Pokemon Trainer, without thinking. "Use Sacred Fire!"

The phoenix Pokemon obliged, and at once an intensely hot beam of fire erupted from its mouth. All the Wireframes were burned to a crisp, as well as Pit's tiara.

"Aww man!" lamented Pit. "That was the one Fernando gave me in last year's Pride march!"

"Nobody cares," snapped Ike.

"Right-a, now we just need a scapegoat-a, to take the blame for-a all the damage," said Mario.

"I know just the thing!" smiled Pokemon Trainer. "Go, Wobbuffet!"

Wobbuffet popped out of the Pokeball, and saluted.

"Stay here!" ordered Pokemon Trainer. "Go, Togepi! Use Metronome!"

An eggshell-like Pokemon appeared, and waggled its finger. Everything plunged into total darkness, but Togepi guided the way for the Super Smash Brothers.

"Nice stealth work," mused Snake. "I could use a Togepi...what do they taste like, anyway?"

Suddenly, one of the Pokeballs broke open and Snorlax appeared. His sheer weight tipped over the box, sending the last two balls crashing to the floor. Soundlessly, the two Pokemon popped out.

"What ones were they?" asked Pokemon Trainer. "I didn't see them!"

"Shut up," whispered Kirby. "We've stormed the Mansion, it's fine, we're in! Who cares?"

But Pokemon Trainer was sure he saw a glimmer of green, and a mewing cry...

"One of them dropped something!" whispered Lucas, who was nearest the group's left side. "Feels like some kind of disc!"

Lucas picked up the disc, looked around at the others, and cautiously slipped it into his pocket.

Meanwhile, in the present day Port Town, Mr. Game and Watch angrily punched the wall with his flat little hand.

"I knew it!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch, angry and triumphant. "I knew he was with the Subspace!"

"Trace – the Super Smash Brothers – stop – Wolf – at all costs. Good luck – Mr. Game and Watch."

"I'm right on it, sir! I'll get together with the veterans, and we'll crush Wolf! You can count on us!" said Mr. Game and Watch quickly. "Master Hand! You still there?"

Mr. Game and Watch stormed out of his room in Port Town's broadcasting tower, angrily thinking about what he thought was Master Hand's telepathic message. "Toon Link!"

"What?" asked Toon Link irritably, looking up from counting his arrows.

"That was Master Hand," fumed Mr. Game and Watch forcefully.

"Yeah, I know," replied Toon Link simply.

"Were you eavesdropping?" asked Mr. Game and Watch testily.

"I was using Mewtwo," replied Toon Link, indicating his Triforce mark. It glowed with the presence of the three ghost Smashers.

"Well, that Wolf O'Donnell lied to me! He's a member of the Subspace Army, and I led him straight to Jigglypuff!" spat Mr. Game and Watch, repulsed with himself.

"Master Hand's message sounded strange, if you ask me," said Toon Link idly.

"I agree! I have to stop Wolf!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch, not listening.

"I think you're being tricked," said Toon Link.

"You're right, I should get going!" continued Mr. Game and Watch, still not listening.

"Sure, whatever, just go," sighed Toon Link, rolling his eyes. "Without me."

"But I gotta get back the veterans!" protested Mr. Game and Watch. "And I know I can't get Mario or Link or anyone, so that just leaves...well, Jigglypuff's probably dead by now if Wolf got to 'er..."

"Whoever's tricking you will end up killing you," said Toon Link.

"I know!" realised Mr. Game and Watch. "That Wolf bastard thinks he can go around killing my friends, I'm going to Star Fox's headquarters, and I'm gettin' some answers about where he went with Jigglypuff!"

"Whatever, just leave me alone," said Toon Link, annoyed.

"I'll miss you too!" waved Mr. Game and Watch, running out the door to an abandoned F-Zero car. "I'll be right back, after I kill Wolf!"

Toon Link idly watched Mr. Game and Watch furiously drive off.

"He's finally gone..." smiled Toon Link. "I don't have to put up with-ow!"

Toon Link pulled a dart out of his neck. "What the he-" The Hylian fell to the ground, and Duon and Galleom shape-shifted from two potted plants back into their robot forms.

"Boss said to meet him at some Fountain of Dreams place," said Galleom, picking up Toon Link's body.

"Gotcha," nodded Duon, withdrawing his dart gun.

Seven years ago in the past version of the Smash Mansion, the present (or future) Super Smash Brothers looked around for the past (or present) Super Smash Brothers while simultaneously trying to work out this sentence.

"Mr. Mewtwo must be inside here," assumed Peach. "I can smell your cooking, Miss Zelda! Smells delicious!"

Zelda glanced up at the calendar in the hallway. "Ah, yeah, this was the day I cooked the Hylian royal family."

The Smashers heard gagging noises from inside the room they were outside.

"Oh, yeah..." sighed Samus. "Cannibalism for about half of us..."

"Let's-a draw Mewtwo out-a and just pull him aside-a for a few seconds," whispered Mario.

"Good idea, go for it," replied Link nervously.

"Me-a? No way-a!" hissed Mario.

"It has to be someone who wasn't here seven years ago," reasoned DK quietly. "Otherwise Mewtwo'll just recognise the future version!"

Everyone nodded.

"DK's right," said Meta-Knight. "One of us newcomers has to do it. I can't create a good enough distraction though...any of you guys up for it?"

"Nos," said Diddy sadly.

"I already got us in here," pointed out Pokemon Trainer.

"Wahahaha!" laughed Wario. "This is perfect for me!"

"I don't want to, what if Mewtwo attacks?" asked Lucas fearfully.

"Dude, I can't, I'm not Nintendo!" protested Sonic.

"Me neither," added Snake.

"I can do a distraction," grinned Ike. "If by distraction, you mean the Samus Aran seven years younger..."

"Wahahaha!" laughed Wario. "This is perfect for me!"

"I could do a musical number!" gasped Pit. "I just know I'm Broadway-quality! Let me do it!"

"Dedede, you want to do this?" asked Meta-Knight.

"Oh, okay dawg," shrugged King Dedede. Wario and Pit groaned. "What should I do, yo?"

"You could do another one of your rapamajigs!" cheered Fox.

As Kirby punched Fox, Dedede pulled his boombox out. "Check it, I got a great idea!" grinned Dedede. "Snakizzle, you and Sonique still gots another Smash Ballizzle?"

Snake opened his mouth to object, but Dedede took it and crushed it under his hammer.

"Oh great!" yelled Kirby sarcastically. "See what you did, Fox? Now we've got super-powered evil raps on our hands, jackass!"

Evil Dedede grinned, and replaced his grill with an even brighter gold set.

"Y'all ready for this?" smirked Evil Dedede, bracing himself.

"That's it, I'm committing suicide," sighed Kirby.

King Dedede, in his Evil state, blew a whistle. Thousands of Waddle Dees came falling out of nowhere.

"Awwwwwwww...

A, B, C, D,

Take that D,

Multiply by 3,

You get Dedede!

And he is me!

Take it, Waddle Dee!" rapped King Dedede extremely quickly. He tossed the mike over to the nearest Waddle Dee and started doing a questionable dance.

"Super Smaaaaaayaaaaaash Brotherrrrrs..." crooned the Waddle Dee in a bluesy voice. A Waddle Doo tackled him and stole the mic.

"Why must we be apaaaaart...by seven yeaaars..." moaned the Waddle Doo, singing a love-song. The blues Waddle Dee joined in, while Dedede reprised his evil rap with them.

The falling Waddle Dees and Doos kept dancing, and Dedede turned up his boombox.

"So y'all better come out,

So we can meet you,

Or better yet,

Just give us Mewtwo!" rapped Dedede.

"So we can travel forward in time and raise some hell!" screamed a death metal Gordo.

"We're lost in the paaaast," sang the blues Waddle Dee and the love Waddle Doo at the same time.

"This is too much for you, isn't it?" Yoshi tentatively asked Kirby.

"It's rainin' men!" screamed Pit, joining in. "Hallelujah!"

"Now it is," sighed Kirby, squeezing his eyes shut.

"So Mew,

Two,

We' lookin' fo' you,

Need to go up seven years,

Me and all the SSB queers,

Especially Piiiiiiit!" finished Evil Dedede, bringing his rap home, yo. The Smash Ball power left him and he slumped to the ground in front of the door dramatically as all the Waddle Dees disappeared.

Kirby ran up and broke a chair over Dedede's head. Zelda ran up and broke Pit's leg over Pit's head.

"WORST FINAL SMASH EVER! I HATE YOU!" screamed Kirby at the top of his voice.

Suddenly, the large dining room door swung open. "What's all the noise?"

Mewtwo, seven years younger and perfectly alive, stood before the present-day Super Smash Brothers...

Star Fox HQ had been ransacked by the Subspace Army, Krystal had been brainwashed, and Wolf had saved Jigglypuff, but what the Army didn't realise that two more Super Smash Brothers had been sent to Corneria by Master Hand as well.

And both of them were sent to Star Wolf HQ, as a compromise for Master Hand taking Wolf for his mission.

Unfortunately, the remaining members of Star Wolf: Leon Powalski and Panther Caruso; hadn't taken kindly to the arrival of Luigi.

And they'd been even more outraged when the second Super Smash Brother sent to them was none other than Falco Lombardi of Star Fox.

Leon and Panther had tried to accept Luigi and Falco, they'd even heard that Jigglypuff was supposed to come to them while Falco was supposed to have returned to Star Fox.

But now they'd had enough, especially after a technicality Falco pointed out, a technicality Leon and Panther avoided discussing at all costs. Luigi and Falco stood against a wall, both blindfolded. Leon and Panther aimed their Blasters carefully at them.

"Any last words, scum?" spat Leon.

Falco fumbled with his hand, eventually managing to flip Leon off. "Yeah, Star Wolf sucks."

"Take aim, Panther," hissed Leon. "Aim for the guy in green. I'm killing Falco."

"I always knew I'd die before the sweet, sweet reunion," sighed Luigi, fumbling around in his pocket for a picture of Peach.

"If you whine about Peach one more time, I'm using you as a shield," threatened Falco.

Leon walked up to Falco, and placed his Blaster against his neck.

"It's over, Falco..." droned Leon evilly. "Nobody's going to save you now..."

Mr. Game and Watch drove up to Star Fox HQ in the F-Zero car, tired but determined.

"Damn, I'm too late!" cursed Mr. Game and Watch, looking at the dead bodies of Slippy, Peppy and General Pepper. "Wolf must have killed these guys and kidnapped Jigglypuff! I bet he's back at the Star Wolf place!"

Mr. Game and Watch got back in the F-Zero car. "Watch out, Wolf...I'm coming..."

Will the Ancient Minister's trick against Mr. Game and Watch work for much longer? Will past Mewtwo help the present Super Smash Brothers? Will Kirby commit suicide next time Dedede raps? Will anybody save Falco and Luigi? Will Smith?

Please read and review while you wait for the answers to these "exciting" questions!