A/N: This one has Romano in it! This one is still AU, and a bit inspired by the story of the Country Mouse and the City Mouse. I hope you guys enjoy! Please review after reading, because reviews brighten my day and inspire me to write more! Also, a warning for Romano's nosebleed-inducing use of coarse language.
Disclaimer: Do we really have to keep doing this? I obviously don't own Hetalia and all of its characters. (Because I wasn't responsible for making Spain look so hot and act so clueless at the same time!)
"Damn! That tomato bastard probably got lost!" exclaimed an irate Lovino Vargas as he paced the lobby of the expensive hotel. He glared at his watch for the hundredth time that day. The fucking tomato bastard was running late for three hours! Three fucking hours! Seriously, Lovino had taken the necessary precautions and armed that idiot Spaniard with a wristwatch, enough money to pay for cab fares, a map of the city, and hell he even bought him a compass just in case he still didn't get it. And still the jerk hadn't arrived. Maybe Lovino should have bought him a phone instead. But then again, that clueless Spanish country bumpkin wouldn't know how to use one anyway.
Okay, so now he was at his limit. It was already six in the evening! There would be a buffet later at seven and he wanted to be first in line! Lovino definitely wasn't worried about the bastard. He leaned against the wall to rest from his frenzied pacing hours ago. In a dark corner of his mind though, he knew it would be entirely his fault if his friend got lost in the huge, bustling city. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo came from the simple, picturesque countryside. This might be his very first time traveling to the city. It would be a whole new world out here for him.
Lovino met Antonio years ago when he was merely a boy. He and his family went on a summer vacation and he ended up lost and left behind in the countryside. There he crossed paths with a kind Spanish farmer, his wife and his two sons. Staying under their care for a few months (since nobody probably missed him anyway), he formed an unlikely friendship with the farmer's younger son, Antonio. Lovino sure complained about the lesser conditions he was subjected to, but what irritated and yet fascinated him at the same time was Antonio himself.
It was the cheerful Spaniard who showed him around the countryside. The vast meadows under the full bloom of spring, the clear brooks and streams with its cool waters, the wide fields, the little town full of happy and contented people who could care less about their simplistic lives, and lastly; the garden where Antonio grew tomatoes. And Lovino grew obsessed with tomatoes ever since. He had no idea it was hard to grow all those tomatoes! He had it easy since he lived in the city, and they served all kinds of mouth-watering food with tomatoes. He only had to spend some money to buy tomatoes, but Antonio worked extra hard just to grow them!
Okay, so he had decided to show Antonio his world as payment for what the Spaniard did all those years ago. (And it was a good thing his grandpa and his little brother managed to find him or else he would have been stuck living in the countryside!) Now Lovino huffed irritably as he sneaked a glance at his watch. He had invited Antonio to the city for another reason. He wanted to wipe off that contented smile off the tomato bastard's face and prove to him that city life was way better than life in the countryside. But how could he rub that fact in the idiot's face if he wasn't even here yet?
Lovino sighed in resignation as he paced the lobby once again. Antonio would surely miss the buffet. Too bad he had yet to taste all the sumptuous meals, the mouth-watering desserts, the intoxicating wine. His simple meals of bread, tomatoes and the occasional paella (if he had enough money to buy the rest of the ingredients, that is) would be no match for all famous cuisine served in the city. Lovino nearly had a heart attack when an annoyingly familiar scream of pure joy broke his train of thought and pierced his ears. No man was allowed to carry a pitch as high and as intense as that, right?
He whirled around to face the person and send them to hell with his darkest glare, but failed when he was tackled to the floor in a bone-crushing hug by a plainly dressed Spanish bastard cooing endearments to him in Spanish. "Oh Lovi! I finally found you! I missed you so much. I brought some of my best tomatoes for you!" At that, Lovino decided to put off strangling the jerk for making him wait for five freaking hours. At least the idiot was smart enough to bring some of those delicious tomatoes!
"Do you know how late you are, bastard? You totally missed the buffet! You missed all the best cuisine, and I'm not buying you dinner!" "Oh don't be so mean, Lovi. I'm here now, okay. I actually made it!" Antonio laughed as they awkwardly got up from the polished hotel floor. "Which reminds me, why the fucking hell did it take you five hours to get here?" demanded an annoyed Lovino as he snatched one of the Spaniard's bags. Antonio quieted down for a few minutes, lost in thought as he stared blankly at the hotel's revolving doors.
"Well? Don't fucking tell me you forgot how you even got here! Did you use the map I gave you? And have you never checked your watch for the time?" "But you know time isn't all that significant, Lovi! What's the hurry, we-" Lovino cut Antonio off before he could finish a pointless ramble. "Look, here in the city, time is gold! And-hey, you didn't answer my first question!" "You asked too many questions, Lovi! I've lost count!" Chigi. Of course the idiot would lose count. He had the attention span of a toddler! "Hmm, I did use the map. The cab driver just didn't understand." And now he's blaming a cab driver for his obvious stupidity. Lovino sighed once more before beginning to walk away, his friend's bag in tow. "Follow me, you useless tomato bastard or you might get lost in this fucking hotel." Lovino had Antonio check-in at the counter, and he took the room key handed to them.
The Spaniard was happily narrating his adventures traveling in the city just to reach the hotel. Tomorrow he would give the jerk a breath-taking, mind-blowing tour of the entire city and teach him a thing or two about the luxuries of living in it. Antonio was such an oblivious simpleton that from the moment he charged in through those doors, people had stared at his rather shameless display of affection. He tuned out the tomato bastard's senseless rambling and contemplated on all the things he could do and show to his friend.
He fought back the blush creeping on his face as he imagined the two of them riding on a gondola (with Antonio making an absolute fool of himself of course!) Unfortunately, his blush had not receded fast enough and a warm hand pinched his cheek. "You're blushing so much Lovi! You look like a tomato, the cutest tomato I've ever seen!" Antonio crooned, amusement coating his words as he continued to squeal in delight while the irritated Italian attempted to push him away.
"You can put the bag down, jerk." silence greeted him as Antonio flashed him a confused look. "Set the bag down so you can rest, fucking tomato bastard!" he growled out when Antonio refused to comply. Did the Spaniard suddenly have a fear of small, enclosed spaces?
The Italian leaned against the wall as he glared vehemently at the other man as he felt the dull jolt of movement. And then… "Why the fucking hell are you looking at me like that?" he snapped, his temper getting the best of him as Antonio looked a little put off as well.
"Lovi, I know I'm just this silly and plain country boy who knows nothing but growing tomatoes in your eyes, but-" "But fucking what? Wanna go home right now because you can't handle a bit of luxury and extravagance in the city?" Antonio shook his head slowly, his sparkling emerald eyes staring intently at him. "I know I'm just some poor country boy, but you don't have to trick me like this!" he all but wailed, those eyes very nearly watering. Lovino shrank back a bit at the sudden change in his companion's mood. Why was the jerk being so melodramatic, and what the hell was he going on about now?
"What the fucking hell are you talking about? I haven't tricked you in any way, I swear! That would defeat the purpose of me proving to you that the city is better than the countryside! If you feel everything is so fucking complicated, then widen your horizons, damn it!" Another moment of silence between them. Lovino refusing to look directly at the Spaniard shuffling awkwardly by his side.
"T-then why is my room like this? It's small and too cramped! There's no bed, and no windows too! I paid so much for something expensive and all, and this is all I get?" Antonio bawled half-disappointed, half-annoyed. His despairing look in Lovino's direction was what drove the Italian to the edge. He didn't hold back and burst out laughing. The look on the tomato bastard's face was absolutely priceless! So far, this had to be the best expression he'd managed to elicit from the clueless Spaniard.
"Fucking tomato bastard, damn it! I can't stop laughing!" he exclaimed as he twisted around, holding his shaking sides in pain from all his laughter. "Then stop laughing, it's not funny!" came Antonio's low whine of resignation.
"Hey, you absolutely clueless jerk! How clueless and stupid can you get?" Lovino mumbled as his laughter subsided. "Huh?" was the only intelligent response Antonio could come up with.
"Sir," he uttered in mock seriousness before reverting to his usual biting sarcasm, "We're still in the fucking elevator! You're way too excited, damn it!" he exclaimed. And right now, Lovino wished he had brought a camera along with him. This new expression on Antonio's face was nothing like he'd ever seen before! "Now who resembles a tomato now, tomato bastard?"
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm sorry to those who didn't. (I did warn you guys that I have really fail!sense of humor.) Please review and tell me what you think. Was it okay or not? I'm sorry if there wasn't any blatant romantic SpaMano in this one, but it had to be so for the fic to work out.