n/a; guys...I'm so so sorry this is so late. life got CRAZY - some good, n some bad. Please forgive me! this was written up a while ago but i never had time to fix it up.

this is for my lil christina cos i NEED to talk to her soooo bad. I'm mailing you right now (if you dont already have it)!

The Night Watchman Lets In The Thief

BPOV

The door closed with a soft click, and I though that I could breathe easy now that he was gone.

I was wrong.

My guilt still consumed me all the same and the sad look he had held in his eyes still haunted my mind.

But he had no right.

It was my decision. It was my body.

My words were true; I hated him.

But I still loved him.

My dad cleared his throat and my attention went back to him. My mind struggling to think about anything else, other than Edward.

I wasn't right sure if it was the medication I had been given or just the guilt I felt. Either way, there was music to face and my tune had only just begun.

"So..." He started. "Want to tell me what this is all about?" He motioned to the room and then to myself as he sat down in the seat next to my hospital bed.

I swallowed hard.

I shook my head, refusing to answer him. I shouldn't have had to have faced him. I shouldn't have been here.

"Bella..." He sighed and it was tired, bored and full of contempt. "Why? Why now? I thought you were feeling...better."

It seemed so easy to him. He thought it was like a cut on my knee. He thought it had scabbed over and flaked away, leaving the soft shiny new cells out to gleam in the sun.

It wasn't. It was like an infected wound that needed constant attending, washing the bad away.

I knew I had been feeling better in myself, but Rosalie's words had dug deep and they sent me tumbling all the way back down. Back to my reality.

Edward was too good for me. And he always would be.

He came here to start a new job, not to babysit me. He didn't need me and my history holding him back any more than the time we had already spent together.

I wanted him. I did. But he deserved better. Rosalie's words weren't cruel. They were true. She was right. I had lay there and asked for it and for that, I was never going to be good enough. I had no inner strength to stand up and deal with this. I fed off of the comfort of men and with it, went, the tiny last piece of the feeling in my heart. I was numb.

Edward had shaken it up and he had gave me this whole other feeling that made it feel warm. He made it feel alive. Lying with him in bed at night, I felt my heart pulse with life once again. His hands on me jolted it to the speed of lightning, where I was sure it could burst. But it never did. It made me feel indestructible.

But I wasn't and Rosalie's words still rang in my ears, telling me not to break his heart. Because she knew a girl like me, that had her soul taken, couldn't truly love him, not after I gave everything away to strangers.

I shook my head, answering Charlie. "She's right."

"Who? Did someone say something to you at the wedding?" His voice jumped and his eyebrows bunched forward at my words but I wasn't going to tell him anything.

This was my battle, and I was losing. I should have lost by now, though.

He sighed and rubbed at his face, infuriated with me and my silence.

"Well...I hope you think you're clever." He bit at me. His face was angry and I wanted him away from me. "Why did you do it? He wanted to help you..." He sighed so tiredly.

My eyes snapped to his, instantly. Was he talking about Edward?

"I hate him." I hissed my words out groggily.

"You hate him? Why? Did he hurt you?" He was mad and I wasn't sure who's side he was on any more. He should have been on my side.

But Edward never hurt me, and I wasn't going to blame him for something he hadn't done. I shook my head, telling him no.

"He manipulated you?" He questioned with a raised brow. I shook my head answering him no, once again.

"You hate him because he cares about you so much that he wouldn't let you do that to yourself? He wouldn't give you up?"

I never answered him. He was spot on.

"Are you serious. This boy takes you into his own bed. For weeks – and you hate him." I still never spoke.

"Bella, I don't care what you did or didn't get up to with that boy. I've heard enough things about you...You think I don't hear people whispering behind my back? You think I don't know what's been going on the past year?"

He shook his head at me. "I'm not letting you blame him. I'm not going to go out there and hit him because you want me too, because he saved your life...I...I don't know how many times he has put himself out on the line for you, and this is the way you treat him?" I didn't need to respond now, it didn't matter. He was through with what I thought.

"He's an idiot that should have known better than to do that, but I know you Bella. You get what you want and you're part in this was just as big a part as Edward's. I'm not going to blame him. How..how...where would I even start to blame him? For falling in love with you? For saving your life? For dragging you out of some hell hole in Port Angales?"

He stood up and walked around the room mindlessly. Rubbing at his short curls, he turned to me again. "This was your last chance, Bella. You just blew it. I tried to still let you do what you wanted..."

"No..." I tried to argue, weakly. He was telling me that whatever the doctor suggested, that would be my treatment. And that would be most likely to be committed into a ward with my rights gone.

"It's too late. I gave you you're chance. I can't help you."

"Edward, can." I fought back in a hush.

"Edward? You just told me you hate him. What's it to be?" He snapped at me as he stood closer to my bed.

Edward could help me. He had been helping me. He had done so much to help me get through it all. I wanted him with me right now. Just to lie in his arms for a while longer.

I knew what I had done. I had destroyed our relationship single handedly with telling Charlie we had been intimate. Despite him trying to remain neutral on that situation, I knew he would struggle to trust Edward, now. Edward had crossed the line.

But it wasn't how Charlie thought. Edward had treated me with nothing but respect. Even when I tried to push myself on to him, he would do his best to reject me, without hurting my feelings. Edward had understood I just wasn't ready and despite my protests, he refused to let it happen.

Last night I was ready. I was ready to love him and have him, just the once, and let him get on with his life without me in it.

Rosalie was right. I was going to break his heart. I struggled to hold on to that ledge and there would come a day when I would slip.

Leaving Edward was the only option.

But he was still the only one I trusted to try and help me.

"I love him, too." The words were quiet but firm.

He looked down at me, rising his eyebrows at me with a groan. "He can't help you like that, Bella. Not any more."

I nodded because I knew he was right. Edward wasn't mine. I had to let him go but he had still had a plan for getting me help. Despite my trying today, he had still helped me.

I knew I wasn't worthy of Edward and that life without him would be as painful as my life without my mother. But I was still here. Maybe there was a way to live without them in my life and not want to die, to not have the nightmares, to not want pain to consume my mind so much so that it was the only thing I could feel. Alcohol seemed to be the only thing to numb the hurt, but maybe Edward was right. Maybe with the right help, I could learn to cope.

Right now I didn't hold much faith. But without Edward's help, I knew that the outcome would be incarceration on a hospital ward.

Edward was the only person I could trust.

Charlie sighed and sat down in the chair behind him, running his hands through his hair. "Bella, what do you want? You are saying two very different things here. I tired, I really did try to let you have control of your life. I shouldn't have to tell you what you should do everyday, but at the same time...if it was me instead of Edward, today, I would have done the exact same thing. I cant let you go like that..." his eyes were glazed and I could see I was breaking him. I never meant to hurt him in all of this, it was just inevitable.

"Edward." I nodded so sure of myself, so positive. It was the only thing I knew I wanted. I had to let him go but if I was to get help, I needed him to get me through it first. "I want, Edward." I wanted him to hold me and let me rest.

I wanted Edward and I needed rest.

EPOV

I jumped out of my seat on the bench out side the emergency department. "Charlie...Look, I'm sorry. I never meant for it to turn out this way." I tired to hold my hand up in defence, praying to god not for this to turn into a fight or getting myself arrested.

"Sit down, Edward." His tone was low and tired but he was still angry. I did what I was told.

I felt afraid of whatever was going to come out of his mouth and I realized that Charlie had only ever been the one person to provoke such fear in me. I didn't know if it was because Bella's life was in his hands and I knew he could keep her away from me.

He sat down on the bench beside me and I was surprised. He never looked at me and it took him time before he began to speak.

"I know whatever happened between you and Bella, it's between you and Bella. I don't like it. In fact I'm pretty pissed at you because you said it wouldn't happen. But it did..." he shrugged his shoulders before he rubbed at his face. He seemed so tired. I felt sorry for him.

He was quiet again and he looked out to the trees in the distance in thought.

"I'm surprised you're still out here. I was looking to speak to your father but some jumped up intern that though he knew better, he wouldn't call him for me. I don't have his phone number."

He never wanted to speak to me, he wanted my father.

He laughed without humour. "He reminded me of another jumped up intern that thought he knew better..." I felt his eyes land on me and I knew it was me who he was talking about. He was right. I was just some jumped up intern that thought they knew better. But I wasn't. I was naive and I was wrong.

Reaching for my phone I search my fathers mobile number and handed it to him. "You can call him on that. Just press the call button on the screen."

He looked at it as if it was a foreign object and shook his head. "No. I wanted to call your father, but Bella wanted me to call you." I felt my eyes go wide. Bella wanted to talk to me? "She wants you to help her. She said that you had spoke about some sort of plan..."

I had spoke to her briefly on it just so she knew it was coming. I didn't want to make it something and have her worry.

I nodded my head. "There is a place I know in Seattle. It's a rehab centre. But it's not all that popular." I didn't know if he would want me to take her there. Bella thought it was a doctor she was going to see. She was, but she would be staying in there just like she would have, if she was committed to a ward. Only treatment was a bit different.

"Why isn't it popular?" He asked but I was sure he didn't want the answer.

"Methods. The place was set up to help self harmer. Typically, self-harmer's don't really have suicidal thoughts or even attempt it. The harm they do to themselves is there coping mechanism, doing that to themselves, releases the stress somewhat. They hurt themselves for release, they don't usually want to die, because they are already coping with the situation." I tired to let Charlie understand everything. Bella was more complex than only a self harmer.

"That's pretty messed up." He stated so simply.

"Well for them, it doesn't seem it. Its just like other people crying or shouting...or binged drinking..." Just like Bella.

"Like, Bella?" He asked already ahead of me.

I nodded. "Yes. She has nightmares and cant sleep. What she wants is to drown the thoughts out of her head. She seems okay if someone is sleeping next to her...but not so good if she knows she has to be alone."

I sighed. "I don't know if Bella tried to end her life or if she was only becoming more dependant on harm, for her to cope."

We were silent as we thought.

"The wedding? Who had a go at her?" Charlie asked a little sharply.

But it was news too me. I didn't know of any altercation between Bella and anyone else.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Bella said, "She was right.". Who was right and about what?" He looked at me as if I knew the answer, but I didn't.

I had no idea what he was talking about. "At the wedding?" I clarified.

"No...she never said that. I just assumed..." He shrugged and I tried to think of anything. A look or something. Anything that would have made her leave. She had been heading for the bathroom, the last time I had saw her. Who had she spoken too?

We fell silent again. My mind racing to think who could have said something to her.

"She says she loves you too, you know?" Charlie's words floored me as I looked up at him in surprise. "That's what she told me. She said you are the only one she trusts to help her."

"She loves me?" I asked, totally blown away.

"Do you really love her?" He asked a little more firmly.

"Yes." I said it without an ounce of hesitation. I was completely in love with this girl and I knew I would have done anything to help her.

"Do you want to help her?" He was being serious.

"Yes. Of course I do." Did he not think I was willing enough.

"Do you really want to help her? I'm not being a bastard here, but you were...The two of you... Christ, Edward. I don't know the words I'm looking for here. You need to think that if she does get the right help, that maybe she...maybe she won't want to be with you. I'm sorry I have to say it but you have to think about it, take it on-board."

It was as if he punched me in the stomach. It would have actually have hurt less. But he was right. Maybe she wouldn't want me after all of this. But I loved her and if that's what it took, then so be it.

"I know, Charlie. But I still want to help her. I could live in a world with her and be without her by my side, but I couldn't live in a world without her at all."

He nodded and gave a small tight lipped smile.

If she had told her father she loved me, I would have to say it was some kind of ploy.

She lay out on her bed, ignoring me. Her father spoke, explaining to her of our plans of her rehabilitation and to say she was less than thrilled would be an understatement.

"You can't do that. I cant cope on my own." She argued as she sobbed.

The look on her face was still heartbreaking and despite a hopeful look ghost her face as I had entered, it was long gone and all she did was scowl at me through watery eyes.

"I thought you were going to help me." She sobbed out in my direction, the first time she had really acknowledged my presence.

"I am, Bella. This will help you." Reaching forward I tried to place a comforting hand over hers but she shifted away before I had the chance, so I pulled back from her. She obviously didn't want me to touch her.

"But I can't sleep without you." She wiped her face, trying to calm her tears. "Please, don't leave me like that."

Charlie sighed. He was clearly a little annoyed that I had got myself so entangled with Bella, that she truly believed that she couldn't go a night without me. But she really couldn't.

I was worried to say what I truly wanted too say with Charlie sitting right next to me. I wanted to be truthful and let her see my view but I didn't know if Charlie would like to hear it. He had been pretty understanding so far but I understood that there would come a breaking point.

"Bella, your tough. You will get through it. Me and your dad will both be near bye." I was only saying a few of the things I wanted too. I wanted to tell her I loved her and that we would both get through it together.

She shook hear head, a heart rendering sob coming from her chest. "No. Dad, please don't make me. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Bella argued and I knew she was only trying to install doubt in his mind to get her own way. She had manipulated him for so long and she was still trying.

"No, Bella." He told her firmly. "We do it Edward's way. This was what you wanted. It's what you're getting."

"I wanted him to hold me. Not for him to send me away." She argued with a growl.

I had had enough. "Bella, if you don't do this, what will you do?" I snapped at her.

She looked at me, unsure of what to say or how to respond at all. "You could help me yourself." She pleaded with tears.

"I have. I've done all I can. You have begun to talk. You have let it out. Now work through it, because you really need to if you want any shot at a normal life. You can't go on letting theses nightmares haunt you."

"I don't want to go. I thought you loved me. If you did, you wouldn't make me do this."

I stood up and let my chair squeak behind me. "Don't think you can try to twist my mind. I'm a step ahead of you. How the hell do you think I searched your room in the first place?" My words were low and aggressive and I was inches from her face. She looked scared of me, but I didn't care. She was going to learn she couldn't walk over me like she had managed to do to Charlie.

"Edward..." Charlie warned.

Turning to him, I was shocked that he was letting her get to him so easily. "No, Charlie. You came to me asking to help. I'm not letting her do this to me and she's not doing it to you any more."

Turning back to Bella, I gently wiped a few strands of hair out of her face. "I love you but this is my game now. You have to stick to the rules. Either that, or I'm gone." I was careful with my words but I still wanted her to take them on board. The look I was giving her was telling her everything that I had struggled to do with my tone of voice. I was here for her, but only if she tried to help herself.

Turning back to Charlie once more, "I'm going to call the centre. Let them know to expect us tomorrow. I know someone there. He's good." Aro, though he had the tendency to seem a little psychopathic himself, was an expert. He had helped dozens of people in similar situations to Bella and I had every faith in him that he could help. Providing Bella was to concede to the treatment. She would never get better if she didn't want too, if she was to fight against us.

Charlie nodded, and I headed to the door, trying my best to ignore the silent heartbreaking plea written all over Bella's face.

I was seriously beginning to wonder about my own sanity, in relation to trying to help her. If she was to seriously sabotage all we were going to be doing, then I was quite certain I was going to end up a mess of my own.

I made the call to Aro himself and he was only to happy to help. He knew of some of Bella's past already as I had spoken to him several times previously on how to try and help her.

He was a big on talking and had only ever encouraged me to try and get her to open up.

It was his number one rule; Talking and hold no secrets.

I knew it was quite possible that tomorrow night Bella would be in a bigger mess than I had found her in. Aro's approach was autopic. He would want to know every detail, every nightmare, every drink and quite possibly every liaison she ever had.

He would want to know the who's, the whys and the when of every event since the moment she knew Katrina was going to hit.

He was going to tear her apart – and quite possibly me included.

But I loved her and if I got to be with her to help her though it, then I would. I wasn't just going to walk away, despite my warnings I had gave to Bella. She needed to be scared into submission. She needed to see that she really didn't have control of the situation and that all we were trying to do was to help her, not fight her.

She was strong willed in self protection, but she had to see that it was okay to be vulnerable and admit her loss and struggles to others.

I had been sitting outside her room for almost thirty minutes, trying to give the two of them space to talk.

Bella had to go. She had no free will, that had been taken from her because of her actions, but she still held her self determination tight and it was all a matter of time until we would see if she was determined to fight us or work with us.

Charlie stepped out of the room and his eyes landed on me instantly. Sitting down with me, he looked down at the floor.

He coughed and shifted a little uncomfortably before he began to speak. "Bells...She's worried about sleep."

"She should have though of that sooner." I quipped back, not actually too sure on why I was taking it out on Charlie.

He sighed. "I know. But she didn't. And now she's really scared."

I nodded, understanding both her and Charlie's concerns. "I...I'll stay here in case..." I shrugged. "Well – if you'll let me." I looked up at him.

I tried to clarify for him. "I'll stay out here if she...if she..." I rubbed at my eyes, exhausted. My mind struggled to work and I couldn't focus on anything it felt.

"She wont know I'm here. She has to learn to do it on her own." I nodded at my own words, as did Charlie.

"I'll stay, too." he added.

That wasn't a good idea. I didn't want Bella to have a melt down in the middle of the night and for Charlie to give in to her and keep her home, never getting better. Besides Someone needed to drive.

"You can, I'm not going to argue with you, but one of us needs to drive tomorrow. You need a clear head for all what you will be getting told. You are in charge of her life just now and you really need to take on what's happening to her."

"I can do that." he bit at me. He sounded angry, almost.

"Really? Cause, I don't think I'll be my best tomorrow, as much as I'll be trying. You need to be."

He let out a little defeated sigh. "I'll tell her goodnight, that I'll see her tomorrow."

I nodded at his words as he got up and left me alone.

He was out not long after, his eyes glazed. I actually wanted to hug him. He looked so shattered.

Eventually, I went in to tell her good night. I wasn't prepared for the look in her eyes and the panic in her voice though.

She shifted up in her bed as I walked in he room, her face streaked with tears.

Without thinking, I rushed to her side and kissed her firmly on the lips. "You're going to be okay." I promised against her mouth.

I held her face in my hands and I could feel her shake her face in disagreement to me. "I'm not. I don't want to be alone. Can't it be like last night?" She sobbed out her breath, the air catching in her lungs.

"Bella, it can't be like last night. This is what last night did to you." I let my eyes trace the bed below her. I had put her here.

"No it didn't..." She tried to argue with more sobs. I shushed her and calmed her a little, just as I told her I was needing to leave.

Of course she acted out on that one. Her vice grew louder and she begged me not to leave.

I was so tied, but I knew I had to try. Aro had allowed for our bed sharing, providing she was giving information, and she had. But what Aro didn't know, that our relationship was growing into something else.

I had did wrong, and keeping myself back was all I could do to try and put it right.

I left her in her room in a flood of salty tears, her face red and heated. I heard her cries from out in the hall, the pain passing through me and thoughts to give up and just go back to her.

I honestly didn't know if I was helping or hindering the situation.

Eventually, her cries stopped and I felt the long day take it's toll out on me as I fell asleep, across the plastic hospital chairs.

I jumped up from my sleep a few hours later. Bella screaming in pain. Nurses rushed into her room and I held my breath waiting outside, wondering of they could sate her for the moment.

Pleads came pouring out of her. To call me. To call her father. To call Alice.

She sobbed and I could hear one of the nurses try to sooth her but it was no use. She was determined to stay awake.

Finally, after a few minutes, I couldn't take any more. I had to go to her.

I rushed to her side and cradled her into me. Gripping onto my t shirt, her hands balled it up, but I couldn't have cared less if she tore the thing off of me.

The nurse left us and I pulled up onto the bed, holding her tight. "Bella, you're fine." I promised to her, just like I had earlier. But I was wrong.

She nodded into my chest. "I hate this life..." Her words were an almost inaudible hiss, full of pain and shattered hope.

It was something she was admitting to at least. She had never spoke of hating life, but the reality of not being able to sleep on her own had hit her hard after her long day.

"It will get better." I knew it would. It had too. It simply wasn't fair that she had to exist like she had.

–

I felt a firm hand on my shoulder in the morning. I was still in bed with Bella and possibly in trouble, depending who had found us.

Looking up, my father stood. He didn't seem mad, he seemed seriously concerned.

I pulled myself from Bella, gently shaking her and telling her I would only be a moment. She replied back with a small mumble and I hoped no more nightmares.

Following him out the room, I saw the shift swap over take place. It was getting busy and it was getting lively. Patients wakening up.

"Edward, I wished you would have called me. Let me know what was happening. I only just found out." He looked a little guilty.

I shook his concern, away. "I'm taking her to Aro, later. Were going to get her help."

"Aro?" he asked a little surprised. "Is she ready for that?" He asked a little concerned.

"She has to be. She can't go on living like this and I can't leave her on her own any more. She hadn't had a nightmare in two weeks, but she still took those damn pills."

He nodded and put a shoulder on my hand. "I'll sort you some time off. But, Edward, you need to be here for your job. Too much time off and you could be put back a year."

I knew being kept back a year would be the best thing that could go wrong. At worst; I could be kicked out my inter-ship altogether.

"I can't just leave her." I sighed. I couldn't.

He knew our relationship wasn't so simple any more. He knew that I cared for her implicitly. He knew that I just couldn't walk away from her.

So he never asked. He never tried to put doubt in my mind, because although he was concerned that this would be the outcome, he never gloated that he was right and I was now, in too deep."

"I love her." I whispered out the words too him, not wanting the rest of my colleagues to know my business.

He gave a tight smile and a nod, quietly telling me, he knew.

"I expected it. You have since that night Bella fell out with you at ours." I couldn't even begin to think when I had fallen in love with her, only that I felt like I always had done.

I sat down in one of the seats I had slept in and he sat down beside me. "I'm sorry. I should have listened. I..I just. Shit, dad. I couldn't just walk away form her."

He comforted me with an arm across my shoulder and told me to only focus on the present now. "You can't live in the past. You need to be there for her and take her to get help. If you think she's ready, then that is you and Charlie's decision. But be ready for this getting worse before it gets better."

"Does it get any worse?" I asked, not quite believing it could.

"Bella will be alone and she will be scared and you won't get to sleep outside her room and go to her when she needs you. She is going to have to face everything."

It was going to get worse. A lot worse.

Please review and let me know what you tink and. I will ud a lot sooner this time!