Right, let's all get ready for the first of seven chapters concluding the long but important Wolf arc! The completion of this arc will not only launch the plot forward considerably with a couple of twists, but it'll help set up the...climax...?
Before we get going, know what you already should from reading this side of the story: these next few chapters will (not definitely, I hope) forsake the usual 'humor' for the serious(ish) plot.
Stereotypes and any other one dimensional attempts to be funny will temporarily be replaced with plot twists, and...well...plot...
If you're just in it for the jokes and nothing more, you might as well leave now. See you when I get to Chapter 51.
Those of you who also enjoyed the underlying plot before now, let's get right to it!
Rebuilding
Chapter 43: Super Trash Brothers
Dear "Minister", from the leader of the One Army,
Oh dear me, has my refusal to tell you absolutely every fact about everything gone and made you sad? Do you feel like you're not my favourite anymore? Of course it has, and of course you do. Very predictable.
There is always but one thing, Minister, which never ceases to annoy me about my underlings. None of them are both efficient and loyal. You are very capable. By utilizing your brainwashing techniques, you were indirectly responsible for the deaths of Mewtwo, Pichu and Roy, and more importantly, using the child who can summon them to steal the Benevolent Aura from Wolf.
However, you constantly question my motives for rebuilding the Aura, and for destroying the ROBs to make the Isle of the Ancients our base of operations, and for even targeting the Super Smash Brothers in the first place. These must all stop.
Meanwhile, Duon and Galleom may have launched our SSB friends on their adventure by posing as realtors, but this has proved to be a foolish move. They have eluded grasps both powerful and weak for months now thanks to Duon and Galleom's idiocy, and it too, must stop. However, they are always dutiful, if sloppy in their work.
My only wish is that I had an underling both capable and....loyal. And I know exactly the person I need to target to bring to the side of the Subspace Army.
Minister, I am setting my sights on but one other person to help us rebuild the Aura. I am setting my sights on the same person who split it with me last time.
Kill Wolf, and find a way to bring me my brother. Bring me Master Hand.
Wolf O'Donnell had considered himself as patient towards the various quirks of the Super Smash Brothers. Recently, three of them had sprung on attack on him, believing him to be their enemy. Before that, he had been forced to kill Fox's girlfriend Krystal, who had been brainwashed by the real enemy. And even before that, he had first been introduced to Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, who he had quickly come to regard as idiots.
And only just now, he had returned from searching for the missing Lucario to find Ganondorf exiting a conversation with...some kind of purple mess?
Wolf was speechless, as he looked from Falco's sneering face, to Mr. Game and Watch's eager grin, to Luigi's fearful wince, to Ganondorf's nervously chuckling features, to the unconscious Jigglypuff.
Did this mean what Wolf thought it meant? Was he right about what he had guessed when Master Hand sent him off on this mission? Wolf blinked, trying to focus on the rest of his team.
Falco was saying something about 'trying to stop Ganondorf'. Wolf doubted that very much, the bird was probably lying off-handedly to avoid blame, something Wolf knew Falco was adept at.
Mr. Game and Watch now said something along the lines of 'waiting for an explanation'. Wolf certainly knew he was waiting, in any case. What was Ganondorf about to tell him?
As soon as Wolf saw Ganondorf begin to open his mouth, he decided he should take charge, and finally spoke.
"What's been happening here?" asked Wolf.
"Wolf, don't worry, I can explain all of this," said Ganondorf cautiously. "No need to get mad, okay?"
Wolf flared up, refusing to be patronised by Ganondorf.
"Get explaining now then! How did you manage to get inside the Aura?" demanded Wolf.
"Okay, this is kind of a long story," Ganondorf sighed. "First off, nobody actually attacked Jigglypuff. She just tripped."
"The floor's all slippery and wet down here, that's why!" pouted Jigglypuff, face down in the water of other people's dreams.
"Oh, you're awake," noticed Ganondorf. "Shut up."
"Yeah, I can really believe that," scoffed Wolf. "She tripped, and ended up with an arrow stuck in her side. She had a little stumble, and blood gushed everywhere, allowing Toon Link to come up and steal Lucario. She overbalanced, and had us all convinced she was dead. Oh yeah, and the blood wasn't really blood, it was the Aura. Of course, it all makes sense now. Gosh, I'm sorry, how stupid of me."
Mr. Game and Watch put his hand to his chin, and then interrupted.
"Hey, I just thought of something," thought Mr. Game and Watch. "If I'm made of these Shadow Bug things, and they're little purple goopy guys, and the Aura's all purple like this, does that mean I'm the second half of the Aura?"
"Don't be stupid!" argued Ganondorf. "You're not Aura, you're a person!"
"Yeah, I guess so," shrugged Mr. Game and Watch. "Wait, Primids have Shadow Bugs dangling from them, don't they? If Shadow Bugs are actually Aura, what does that make the Primids?"
"But how can Shadow Bugs be part of the Aura if you're not Aura?" asked Luigi, puzzled.
"Maybe it's all some sort of pyramid scheme!" gasped Mr. Game and Watch suddenly, with a maniacal glint in his non-existent eyes. "Shadow Bugs and Aura are really the same thing, and I'm really Aura, but there's a conspiracy going around to-"
"Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?" retorted Ganondorf.
"I'd just like to state that for the record, I don't care about any of this," added Falco. "Bo-ring."
"Well, start caring!" snapped Ganondorf. "Wolf's trying to save us all from the Subspace Army, and they'll come and kill Mr. Game and Watch if he goes around saying he's part of the Aura!"
Wolf was getting fed up with the ridiculous Aura argument very quickly. He decided to take action.
"All of you, shut up. Mr. Game and Watch, Shadow Bugs and Aura are not the same thing, understand?" asked Wolf, exasperated.
Mr. Game and Watch briefly looked down at his feet dejectedly, but he quickly perked up. With a smirk of smug excitement, he looked Wolf in the eye.
"Yeah, well if the Subspace Army wants the Aura, why did they try to have me killed when Jigglypuff and I were in Mirage Island?" asked Mr. Game and Watch proudly. "Answer that, smart guy!"
"They also tried to kill you when I saved you two in Kanto!" remembered Luigi. "They sent that Sonic guy!"
"Yeah, and then in New Pork City, they tried to kill us all," scoffed Falco. "That part was awesome."
"They tried to kill me, they tried to kill Toon Link, and they tied up Falco and Ganondorf!" rattled off Mr. Game and Watch. "What's up with that, huh Wolf?"
Wolf blinked, almost as if he was about to launch into an explanation. He thought better of it, and resumed a look of calm indifference.
"That's probably nothing odd," shrugged Wolf. "They're just trying to off all of the Super Smash Brothers, that's it. It really is as simple as that."
Nobody spoke. Eventually, Luigi timidly posed another question. "D-do the Primids run on Aura? Is that why they stole that Pokemon you guys were with?"
"No," replied Wolf. "Look, the Primids have nothing to do with the Aura. It's the more important enemies we have to worry about. Like the Ancient Minister. Like the Overlord of the Subspace Army. They're the ones that want the Aura."
"Oh, I just thought of another thing!" cackled Mr. Game and Watch. "We all saw that Snake fella come to our side, but what about his buddy, Sonic? How do we know he won't show up and attack us? Answer that, Wolf!"
"That blue streak could be speeding by any moment now!" agreed Ganondorf. "What's more, he's too fast for the naked eye, so we wouldn't even know if he was here!"
"Sonic?" asked Falco. "Can he really move?"
"He's got an attitude," nodded Luigi, panicking.
"He's the fastest thing alive!" finished Mr. Game and Watch, hiding fear with smugness. "And if he speeds up and find us, we're all finished! He's got to be steamed with us after we beat him in New Pork City!"
"Yeah!" panicked Luigi. "After we beat him, he's going to want us all dead!"
"You beat him?" asked Ganondorf incredulously. "It was Toon Link and his ghosts that beat them! We were all cowering on the sidelines!"
"At least I wasn't chained to a capsule!" argued Mr. Game and Watch.
The argument soon escaladed, and Wolf watched as the four Super Smash Brothers before him traded insults. Nobody seemed remotely interested in the groggy, thoroughly disoriented pink balloon moaning below them.
Until, of course, she got considerably less groggy and joined right into the argument.
"That's not very nice!" protested Jigglypuff, glaring at Mr. Game and Watch. "We were the ones who were running from little baby Pokemon on that island!"
"Exactly, Jigglypuff!" Ganondorf grinned, patting Jigglypuff on the back. "Now shut up and play dead again!"
Wolf sighed and clapped a hand to his face. Was this the rest of the mission? To just sit back and watch these four – no, five, Jigglypuff had recovered from her idiotic injury – bicker over the most trivial and stupid little things they'd done? Master Hand surely hadn't picked me for this mission, Wolf thought, because he thought I'd be able to control these people?
It occurred to Wolf that he was probably right; his conclusion was an annoying truth. What if the Minister showed up? He would be the only one able to do anything about him; after all, had he not been the one to drive him away from the Fountain in his Landmaster? Had he not been the one directing Jigglypuff and Ganondorf when they attacked the Minister the first time?
He'd hoped bigger numbers would have made his job easier. Six was a better number to attack with than three, after all. But, in the end, he seemed to be the only one with any capability to do this.
Master Hand must have picked me because he needed somebody competent, thought Wolf savagely. He looked back at the squabbling Smashers. Unbelievable, they were still all going at it. Wolf had had enough. Time to be a leader.
"Alright, every one of you!" bellowed Wolf. "Shut up and listen to me!"
Luigi was the first to quieten down. Jigglypuff then followed, then Falco (albeit with an indifferent shrug), and finally Ganondorf and Mr. Game and Watch, both glaring at each other.
"I want no more of that," snapped Wolf. "We are supposed to be destroying the Subspace Army. How are we supposed to do that if you all whine and bitch at each other like that? You Super Smash Brother types are simply the most immature excuses for 'accomplished fighters' I've ever met!"
There was a pause. The Smashers looked at each other, collectively trying to form a response. No responses were thought of.
"Your face is immature," Falco sneered.
"Shut up!" shouted Wolf angrily.
"That's not what your mom said last night," Falco chuckled.
Wolf rolled his eyes, and a strange urge to tell this cocky bird that Fox and the SSB were legally pronounced missing, and that Slippy, Peppy and Krystal were all dead, took over. Instead, he decided to stay calm.
"From now on, I don't want to hear anything out of any of you until I tell you to do something," warned Wolf. "Consider that an indirect order from Master Hand."
Mr. Game and Watch let out a beep of protest. Luigi gave a panicked glare, and Jigglypuff gasped, both trying to dissuade Mr. Game and Watch's iron will.
"Who do you think you are, ordering us around like that!" demanded Mr. Game and Watch.
"I think I'm in charge of you people," replied Wolf coldly.
"Oh, really? Is that what you think?" laughed Mr. Game and Watch derisively. "Destroying the Subspace Army is the Super Smash Brothers' job! We're an elite fighting group, boy! And you're not one of us! So you have no right telling us what to do!"
"I don't, do I?" smirked Wolf. "Master Hand gave this job to me. If you were, ah, an 'elite fighting group', he'd have given the job to one of you, right? If you were the greatest fighters ever, he wouldn't have left you to go on a fake journey to your next Mansion, would he? Face it. The Super Smash Brothers are garbage, the lowest trash imaginable isolated in a tiny mansion. Being a Super Smash Brother doesn't mean anything. All it means is that the bullseye the Subspace Army has on your forehead is slightly bigger."
"Whatever," scoffed Falco. "Your face is...slightly bigger."
Wolf smiled sardonically to himself. He was on a roll.
"Your little fighting tournaments?" Wolf chuckled tauntingly. "Practice for global epidemics such as this. Really, before Master Hand suddenly realised the Subspace's forces were a threat, did you really have anything to do at your pathetic Mansion? Until now, your biggest worry was over some little kid playing a video game."
"You're wrong," replied Mr. Game and Watch simply. "Ain't no two ways about it, bub. You're wrong."
"Am I, though?" challenged Wolf. "Think about it for a little second."
Mr. Game and Watch staunchly glared at Wolf, but behind him, Luigi, Falco, Ganondorf and Jigglypuff were all exchanging looks of shock and realisation.
"Go on then, Mr. Game and Watch," egged on Wolf. "I want to hear all about an adventure you've had with the Super Smash Brothers before now. Remember, nothing involving Master Hand or the Subspace Army. Can you remember anything like that? One tiny little quest?"
The 2-D figure was still holding his ground, but barely. For a few moments Wolf coolly looked over his flat face. His mouth would open in retort every now and then, but no reply would come out.
After a couple of minutes of racking his memory, Mr. Game and Watch let out a heavy sigh and looked down at his feet.
"Okay, you're right..." Mr. Game and Watch muttered under his breath, fuming at Wolf.
"I'm what now?" smiled Wolf, cupping a hand to his ear.
"I said you're right!" shouted Mr. Game and Watch indignantly. "Are you happy, Wolf? Are you?"
"Calm down, please!" cried Luigi, reaching a hand out to his fellow Smash Brother.
"No, I won't calm down!" bellowed Mr. Game and Watch. "Before Super Smash Brothers, I was a tiny little figure living in the Flat Zone! I was constantly alone, and bored out of my mind while everyone else was out saving the world! Being put into Super Smash Brothers was the best thing that ever happened to me!"
Luigi meekly silenced himself, acknowledging that Super Smash Brothers was the best thing to happen to him as well. He covertly felt around in his pocket for a photograph of himself, Mario, and Peach in front of the latter's castle. One of the three people had been violently torn out of the photo.
"But now this smug little asshole has just waltzed right up to me and told me that my friends, my organisation, sorry, our organisation, is meaningless!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch, pointing at Wolf. A tiny black pixel that just might have been considered a tear landed on the ground next to the stick figure. "Well, guess what, Wolf? It may be meaningless to you, but Super Smash Brothers means the goddamn world to me!"
Mr. Game and Watch lowered his hand, shaking. Wolf blinked for a couple of seconds. Oops.
"Look, maybe I jumped the gun a little bit," said Wolf apologetically. "But this is your-uh, our," he added, looking around at the other Smashers. "This is our big chance to save the Super Smash Brothers. To save the world, even."
Mr. Game and Watch nodded, slightly bitterly.
"Right," said Wolf evenly, getting back to business. He looked at Mr. Game and Watch, Luigi and Falco. "You three came in on Wolfens, right? Go check that the Minister's damage isn't permanent. If they're okay, we could use them to get around more easily than squeezing six people into one plane."
"Are you sure?" scoffed Falco. "Who knows, we might find the Ancient Minister faster using the carpool lane."
"Shut up," said Mr. Game and Watch before Wolf could even open his mouth.
"Thank you," smiled Wolf. Mr. Game and Watch's mouth gave a tiny quiver, and he, Falco and Luigi began climbing down the dream clouds to check the Wolfens.
"Okay, now, Ganondorf," said Wolf. "Don't bring up what you did here with the Aura too much."
"Why not?" asked Ganondorf, puzzled.
Wolf hesitated. "....Long story. Just don't mention it."
"Alright, but when I was in the Aura-"
"-what did I just tell you?"
"Lucario told me something important." Ganondorf finished impatiently.
"Lucario?" repeated Wolf. "Really? Are you sure it was him in the Aura?"
"No, it was the other guy we know who's the living manifestation of benevolence," scoffed Ganondorf.
"How did you manage to hold a civil conversation with him?" Wolf sneered. "You two were at odds all the time when he was with us."
"When I touched the fake blood that was really Aura, it turned into some kind of imprint of him," shrugged Ganondorf. "But the important thing he had to say was for you. Why couldn't you have gotten it yourself? I had to do everything for you."
"I stepped in the blood when I was up here checking on Jigglypuff," remembered Wolf. "That's when I found that Smash Ball...so why didn't Lucario appear to me? Does Lucario know something about you?"
"I don't know!" retorted Ganondorf defensively. "Why would there be some reason he'd want to talk to me specifically? We hated each other!"
"He liked me!" Jigglypuff grinned, oblivious to what was going on.
"He set up an elaborate hoax to make you look dead to us," pointed out Ganondorf.
"As all friends do from time to time," replied Jigglypuff, blowing a raspberry.
Wolf shook his head exasperatedly, and regained focus.
"What did Lucario want me to know?" asked Wolf.
"Oh, that," remembered Ganondorf airily. "Something about remorse being our greatest weapon."
"Remorse..." repeated Wolf. "Was there anything else? Who's feeling the remorse, for instance?"
Ganondorf merely shrugged again.
"Uh, how can a feeling be a weapon?" asked Jigglypuff, confused. "That is what remorse means, right?"
"Sure, yeah, go away," replied Ganondorf coldly. "Lucario said Wolf would know. So go on, Wolf, what's the latest mystery that only you know?"
"Remorse is our greatest weapon..." Wolf mused, mulling over a few ideas.
"Sounds like bullshit, doesn't it?" scoffed Ganondorf. "I bet Lucario was just messing around with me. That guy's a jerk."
Jigglypuff nodded enthusiastically, but Wolf took no notice to either of them. Inspiration had struck, and he had gotten an idea.
"We're leaving," said Wolf simply. "As soon as possible. I'll go and tell the others."
Wolf wordlessly walked over to the dream clouds, and began climbing down to Green Greens to tell Luigi, Falco and Mr. Game and Watch.
Ganondorf and Jigglypuff stood together on the fountain, confused. Neither spoke for a moment. Eventually, Jigglypuff looked up at her unlikely friend.
"Did you make Walter angry?" asked Jigglypuff timidly.
"I sure hope so," Ganondorf smirked, watching Wolf's retreating figure.
Wolf hastily barrelled down the dream clouds, preoccupied with thoughts. Remorse...what had he done to feel remorseful about? Was it Master Hand's remorse? One of the Super Smash Brothers? Lucario's own remorse? What did any of it mean?
He was so wrapped up in his musings that he didn't notice he had already arrived at the pile of Wolfens.
"Quick, fix them, now," said Wolf, aimlessly pointing at the wreckage heap.
"What's the magic word?" sneered Falco tauntingly.
"Shut up, there's your magic word," snarled Wolf. "Can't any of you fix these?"
"Nope, Wolf, I can't," replied Mr. Game and Watch, who had been taking a close look. "All of these got messed up something fierce. Can you call Star Wolf and have your buddies send you more?"
"Or better yet, have Falco order them to do it!" piped up Luigi.
Wolf was only paying them half his attention. Ideas were flurrying through his mind, gradually getting less and less improbable until he zeroed in on what Lucario's message meant...
"That'll take too long," dismissed Wolf. "We'll just all have to cram in to one Wolfen for now. I guess we can just make a quick stop in New Pork City, those Alloys back there had quite a few ways of transporting themselves."
Ganondorf and Jigglypuff arrived, both looking highly confused.
"Wolf, what's the rush?" asked Ganondorf. "Where are we going now?"
"I figured out what Lucario was talking about," replied Wolf. "He's right, remorse is our greatest weapon."
"Well, what was he talking about?" demanded Ganondorf. "How do you know? What's going on?"
"There's only one way to really defeat the Subspace Army," answered Wolf energetically, trying not to let any of his thoughts slip his mind. "And that's from the inside. We just have to remove one piece and their army will come crashing down."
The Super Smash Brothers once again looked at each other, completely confused.
"And I know the perfect way to do that!" continued Wolf calmly. "I was wrong earlier on! We need to get Lucario back! We need to rebuild the Aura ourselves!"
Five jaws all dropped.
"Do you know what that means?" asked Wolf.
Five heads shook.
"We're going straight to the heart of the Subspace Army!" answered Wolf.
Eight eyes and whatever Mr. Game and Watch has widened.
"We're going to the Isle of the Ancients!" finished Wolf dramatically.
Oh my, progress! Please read, review, etc.
Six more chapters of the action-y serious-y arc left now. Bored yet? Too bad, it's my story, kid.
If you want humor, re-read the previous forty two chapters! (Also do this if you want to become a few IQ groups lower in society.)