Lawli: To make up for last chapter cutting off sooner than most of you would have liked, I've made this chapter a bit longer! Yay~ And as promised, Suzaku DOES wear a dress in this one. Two dresses, actually. ;]
THANKS TO... xxxCodeTsubasa, L Lexuran, J Plash, 6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9, CrimsonUtopia, 2stupid, eMi-to-mAo 374, loki lee, Princess of Oblivian, Suffocated Entity, RangerInBlack, -w- easy enough, mikanchan94, nina-linda234, Serena the Hikari of Love, icarus923, Thoughtless7, mochiusagi, Ritsuka189... FOR REVIEWING!
CHAPTER WARNING: Men wearing dresses. And looking damn fine in them. 8D
The Charlatans of Circumstance
-Chapter Five-
"All right, listen! I only have two days to transform you into a proper lady, so pay attention."
It was the day after C.C.'s proposal, and Suzaku currently sat in the spacious kitchen of C.C.'s home, just a floor above the brothel he just recently discovered she operated. Before him, donned in a maroon kimono, stood a busty woman with a shock of red hair and an attitude that said anything but 'proper lady'.
When C.C. first introduced Kallen Kōzuki (or Stadtfeld, as she went by in public) as his instructor in Female Etiquette, Suzaku hadn't thought she was serious.
Voicing this opinion aloud earned him a painful slap in the face, quickly teaching Suzaku that it was best to keep him thoughts to himself around the woman.
Kallen stood at the opposite end of the table, a ruler poised threateningly in her hand. She hit it against the tabletop whenever she caught him not paying attention – which was, admittedly, quite often.
Suzaku jumped at the loud smack, and sent Kallen an apologetic look that went ignored.
"Try again," she ordered.
Exhaling loudly, Suzaku poured himself another cup of tea, endeavoring to have all his movements look precise and delicate, while at the same time making sure that the liquid didn't slosh and that none of it dripped onto the tablecloth.
Kallen's eyes narrowed. "Say it."
He'd known that lessons in female etiquette were bound to be anything but exciting, but still... this was so tedious. He must have poured at least ten cups of tea by this point – probably more. Resisting the urge to growl, Suzaku turned to an imaginary person to his left. "Lelouch, darling," he spoke to the air in a voice an octave higher than normal, "would you like some more tea?"
Kallen cleared her throat. "Yes, Suzako dear. I would love some," she answered in her best impression of a 'manly' voice.
"Suzako?" Suzaku broke character and blinked at the name.
Kallen nodded. "Your new identity," she explained. "We figured it would be easiest to stick with something close enough to your own name. Just so no-one forgets."
"I see..." Suzaku's eyes rested on the tea he'd just poured. "So has Suzako managed to successfully pour tea?"
Shrugging, Kallen approached his side of the table, leaving the ruler behind much to Suzaku's relief. "As good as she's going to get at it, I suppose. By the way, from now on you should only talk in Suzako's voice, so you can get used to it."
Suzaku groaned. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts to talk like that? My throat is killing me!" He wrapped a hand loosely around his neck for emphasis.
Kallen took hold of a teacup, raising it to her lips and taking a long sip. "All the more reason to get used to it."
As Suzaku was about to protest, he was interrupted by another female voice.
"Where is he?"
Kallen turned, grinning at the foreign-looking woman who leaned against the doorway, smoking a tobacco pipe. She was dark-skinned, with bleached blonde hair that touched down to the center of her back, and she carried herself with an air similar to C.C. – confidently, while seeming indifferent to the happenings in the world around her.
"Rakshata!"
The woman looked Suzaku up and down appraisingly, bringing a hand to her pipe and removing it from her lips. "Suzako?" she presumed, glossy lips smirking.
Suzaku flushed. "S-Suzaku, actually," he corrected her, not wanting to be referred to as his female identity unless he absolutely had to.
Rakshata acted as though she hadn't heard him, turning her attention on Kallen briefly. "Hope you don't mind if I borrow our little princess here?"
"No, go ahead. I can finish with him later."
"Good, good."
Rakshata motioned for Suzaku to stand and follow her. Obediently, Suzaku rose from his seat and trailed behind her. Upon entering the lounge, Rakshata wasted no time getting comfortable on the sofa.
"These are for you," she said, pointing with her pipe to the rather large pile of fabric on the opposite couch.
Cautiously, Suzaku approached the pile.
Petticoats, bodices, hoop skirts, frocks... all in a variety of colors and textures. Suzaku's face paled as he pulled a pair of white knickers out from within the stack of women's clothing.
"Is this," he held up the undergarments for Rakshata to see, "really necessary?"
Rakshata inhaled from her pipe, blowing a stream of smoke out languidly in Suzaku's direction. "All part of the act, sweetheart. Now try them on."
"But," Suzaku stuttered, "but these are yours!"
Rakshata was an unusually tall woman, standing an inch or so shorter than Suzaku if they were positioned back-to-back. As well, she was not overly curvaceous; instead, her body (discounting her breasts) seemed more boyish, what with her angular hips. It had been C.C.'s idea to have Suzaku try and fit into her old clothes. The suggestion seemed fine to Suzaku at first, but... no way was he going to wear used women's undergarments!
"I'm waiting," Rakshata drawled. "Throw an outfit together already."
Sighing in defeat, Suzaku did as told, picking out a white hoop skirt and matching white bodice embroidered with swirling blue designs. "How's this?" he asked, showing his choices to Rakshata, who nodded her approval.
"Go try it on. I'll be right here if you need me."
On the opposite side of the room, C.C. had been kind enough to bring out a screen for him to change behind. It didn't offer complete privacy, but Suzaku appreciated the notion nonetheless.
Pulling his shirt over his head, Suzaku discarded it carelessly. Soon afterwards followed his jeans and – begrudgingly – his undergarments.
Women's undergarments were surprisingly comfortable. Suzaku traced the lace covering his hip; he was shocked they actually fit him – but, then again, he and Rakshata both had similar narrow builds.
This is so wrong, he decided once he realized he'd just referred to the lacy embarrassment as comfortable. How could I actually agree to this?
"Suzako!" Rakshata prompted in her lazy voice, breaking Suzaku out of his thoughts.
Suzaku hurriedly pulled on the sheer white underskirt and then the wide, silky hoop skirt that he had trouble figuring out how he would fit through a door in.
The bodice proved much more difficult, as it laced up in the back. Suzaku stared at it, uncertain if it would even fit him. It looked painfully tiny...
"R-Rakshata," he called, poking his head out from behind the screen. The woman met his gaze and languorously rose from the sofa.
With Rakshata's aid, Suzaku managed to squeeze into the top. He held his breath, afraid that if he exhaled all the ties holding the bodice together would give out. Rakshata surveyed him, the tip of her pipe pressed contemplatively against her cheek.
"There's no way you can wear heels with that. Or anything else, most likely. You're already so tall... We don't want you towering over your groom, now do we?" Rakshata didn't wait for a response. "I'll find you something flat."
"How does he look?"
Kallen appeared in the lounge, demanding to see Suzaku. Taking another deep breath, Suzaku stepped out from behind the screen. Along with Kallen stood C.C. and Kaguya (who, up until that point, had been on a tour of the brothel with another of C.C.'s girls – against her cousin's wishes, of course).
"Suzaku!" Kaguya gasped, realizing something. "I mean, Suzako!" A giggle escaped her. "You look so beautiful!"
It was not intended to be an insult... but it still felt like one to Suzaku, who blushed and crossed his arms tightly over his chest.
"Don't' stand like that," Kallen snapped. "You look like such a man."
"I am a man!" Suzaku reminded her, exasperated, hating this already when it had only just begun.
C.C. shook her head. "No, from now on you are Suzako. Remember that." She handed him a brown mop. "Here is your wig."
"Wig?" Suzaku took it from her. Indeed it was a wig, chocolate-brown in color with barely noticeable golden highlights to closely match his natural hair. It was medium-length and wavy, but smooth to the touch.
Kallen and Kaguya both helped him put the wig on properly while C.C. wheeled out a full-body mirror, and once he saw himself with the entire costume on, Suzaku had to admit... he really did look the part. Albeit flat-chested, he made quite the attractive woman.
"You know," Rakshata murmured, "if I were a man I think I'd fall for you, Suzako."
Suzaku was nervous.
For reasons he couldn't explain, he stood before the mirror in his temporary bedroom at C.C.'s home, weaving his fingers through the fibers of his wig fretfully. Anxious green eyes flitted around the room, coming to rest on the clock on the wall every now and again.
6:45. He'd be there any moment.
C.C. arranged for him to have dinner with Lelouch that evening, to ensure that a proper chemistry existed between the two of them. She insisted that if they didn't have chemistry – or, at the very least, couldn't pretend they had chemistry – the entire plan would fall apart. They intended to fool Lelouch's entire family – mainly his perceptive and ever-scheming mother – and in order to do so their act had to be flawless, the very picture of a young couple in love.
Catching his reflection in the mirror again, Suzaku sighed. He didn't know if he could do this. Dressing like a woman was one thing, but acting like a woman – like a woman in love, on top of that – was completely different. Suzaku was the type of person who wore his heart on his sleeve; lying did not come easily to him. How could he be expected to play the role of a complete stranger's enamored fiancé?
It wasn't even the fact that it was another man that bothered Suzaku. Sure, it embarrassed him to think about, but if it meant earning the money to pay for Kaguya's medicine Suzaku would do anything. What concerned Suzaku was the fact that he didn't know anything about this man. What type of person he was – if he was kind or cruel, even-tempered or hotheaded – Suzaku hadn't the faintest idea.
C.C., Rakshata, and Kallen each explained Lelouch in different ways.
Fascinating, C.C. believed.
Entertaining, in Rakshata's opinion.
Pompous, according to Kallen.
Out of the three separate opinions, Suzaku believed Kallen's easiest, only because of the haughty way in which Lelouch spoke to him during their first meeting. Then again, if the roles had been reversed and it was his wallet Lelouch stole, Suzaku most likely would have acted in the same way upon catching the thief.
So Suzaku had no idea what to expect from his 'fiancé'. How would a fascinating, entertaining, pompous, and whatever else man act with the woman he was allegedly in love with?
A knock jarred him from his thoughts.
Suzaku glanced at the clock again, feeling panicked. Was it Lelouch outside the door? Would he just come up to a girl's bedroom uninvited – was he that type of man? Not that it even mattered if he was. They were both men; if Lelouch happened to walk in on him in a state of undress, he wouldn't be seeing anything new. Still... it was embarrassing. Would they have to share a room at the Lamperouge estate?
"Suzako?"
To his relief, it was Kaguya outside. He opened the door for her, allowing her inside. Her movements were slow as always, and he helped her to the bed.
"Shouldn't you be resting," he said, unable to keep the worry from his voice. She shouldn't be up and about like this – practically the whole day she'd been on her feet; it wasn't good for her.
Kaguya smiled. "This is far too exciting to miss out on," she replied, grinning weakly as her bright green eyes passed over him, taking in the gold satin frock adorning his body. "My tough-guy cousin is engaged now."
A blush colored his cheeks and Suzaku coughed. "Stop saying that."
But Kaguya didn't listen to him, as she was already prattling along about what she thought Suzaku's pretend fiancé would be like. "I hope he's not ugly."
Suzaku thought about Lelouch, and while he couldn't recall a clear image of what the man looked like he couldn't remember him being unattractive – not that he'd really taken the opportunity to get a good look at him; there had been more important thoughts in his mind at the time, like figuring out how to save his own skin.
"Does it really matter?" he asked her, closing his eyes.
"Of course it matters!" Kaguya insisted. "You don't want to have to kiss an ugly old man, do you?"
Suzaku's eyes snapped open, face darkening even further. He shook his head furiously. "I'm really hoping I don't have to kiss him at all," he admitted quickly, the prospect making his stomach churn unpleasantly.
Kaguya shrugged. "You may have to."
It was a truth Suzaku didn't want to presently face. He would cross that bridge when he came to it, and until then he would pointedly ignore it. "Let's not talk about it," he said.
"Fine," Kaguya agreed easily enough, making herself comfortable beneath the covers of Suzaku's bed. "You should get downstairs though, Suzako-chan. Your fiancé will be here any minute."
Lelouch drummed his fingers idly against the tabletop, violet eyes glancing impatiently in the direction of the kitchen's entrance every so often. His fiancé was late, and Lelouch wasn't pleased about it. Dinner had been arranged for the two of them by C.C. and a few other women, and while Lelouch agreed with the reasoning behind the dinner – for him and Suzaku to get to know each other, and make sure they could actually pull off acting like a recently engaged couple – he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
As he waited, he went over his schedule for the upcoming days. The next day was devoted to assisting his mother in preparing the welcoming party for his fiancé. His mother had insisted that such a party was an absolute must, and since his plan seemed to be moving flawlessly already Lelouch saw no reason to object. It gave all the more purpose to this dinner with Suzaku, though – if the Eleven even showed up, that is. From the looks of things...
The door to the kitchen opened, C.C. entering and facing him with the same infuriatingly disinterested look upon her face.
"Don't look so moody," she instructed him. "You're about to meet your fiancé. One would think you'd be happy."
"Does my fiancé even care to see me?" Lelouch replied, rolling his eyes skyward in clear agitation.
C.C.'s expression morphed into one of self-satisfaction, and she made a motion with her hand.
Lelouch straightened himself as the door opened, a brown-haired girl – or, what looked like a brown-haired girl – stepping inside. Violet eyes widened a fraction.
Suzaku was a far cry from the rumpled and petty thief he had been when they last met, the rugged clothes replaced with a fine golden dress, a silky wig in place of that coarse mop of brown hair, and expensive jewelry adorning his ears, hands, and wrists.
If he was to be honest, Lelouch would have to say... Suzaku looked rather stunning.
"I'll leave you two alone," C.C. spoke again, her words unheard by Lelouch, who continued staring at Suzaku in disbelief.
She left the room, and after her departure a silence settled over the two young men.
Suzaku tried to look poised, but couldn't help fidgeting with his hands. Lelouch watched the nervous movements, noticing Suzaku's hands had been powdered.
Suzaku cleared his throat.
Lelouch blinked, meeting Suzaku's emerald gaze and holding it briefly before shaking his head. "A dutiful wife would never be late for dinner," he pointed out as Suzaku padded over to the table, perturbed by the thoughts that were sneaking across his mind. This Eleven was nothing more than a pawn, not even a real woman; there was no reason for Lelouch to be so captivated by him, just because he wore such clothing.
Suzaku stood there for a moment, as though expecting something. Then, his emerald eyes narrowed a fraction and he seated himself opposite of Lelouch. "A gentleman would have waited to seat me," he countered in a voice much higher than Lelouch remembered the man speaking the other day. Of course, he should have expected it; Suzaku would have to disguise his voice while masquerading as a female.
Lelouch disregarded the statement to ask, "What do I call you?"
"Suzako," Suzaku answered. "Nagase Suzako."
"Very well, Suzako. Our food is getting cold."
Emerald eyes fell to the plates before them. "Sorry," Suzaku apologized quietly, reaching for the innermost fork on his place setting. Lelouch coughed to get his attention and he stopped, looking at the other man inquisitively. "What?"
"You start with the outer utensils," Lelouch corrected.
"O-oh. Right." Suzaku frowned in a way that clearly showed he still had no grasp on proper dining protocol and moved his hand to the smallest fork.
Dinner continued without further incident, Lelouch filling Suzaku in on aspects of their 'relationship' the other should be aware of: where they'd met and spent time together, how they became an official couple, etcetera. All the while Suzaku listened silently, intently, not raising any questions until the subject of Lelouch's proposal was brought up.
"I proposed to you the night before returning to Britannia, on the beach just before dusk. You accepted, and we made plans for you to follow me to Britannia several days after my arrival."
Suzaku didn't seem the least bit impressed by what Lelouch thought to be a perfectly amorous engagement story.
"Is there a problem?" Lelouch asked, frowning.
Suzaku took a sip from the glass of wine in front of him. "No, I guess not. It sounds very romantic. But..." He held up his bare left hand for Lelouch to see. "Where is my ring?"
Lelouch blinked. The ring... Of course, the engagement ring! How would anyone believe he'd proposed to the woman of his dreams if Suzako didn't even have a ring to show off? Shouldn't C.C. have taken care of this – she was in charge of Suzaku's transformation into his fiancé.
"You can wear one of mine," he answered at length, not about to run out and buy a diamond ring for a pretend lover.
"Thoughtful." Suzaku couldn't help the hint of sarcasm that dripped into his voice. Lelouch glared at him and Suzaku twirled a strand of the auburn wig around his finger in a manner that reminded Lelouch of C.C. "There's something else I want to ask," Suzaku said, his thin (recently plucked?) eyebrows knitting together.
"What is it?" Lelouch was no longer looking at Suzaku, but at his scarcely touched plate of food. Whatever answer he had been expecting, it was not the one Suzaku gave him.
"Payment."
A crease appeared in Lelouch's forehead in response to the word. "Excuse me?"
"Payment," Suzaku repeated. "C.C. promised me three hundred pounds per week should I partake in this little charade."
C.C. did what? Lelouch's hands clenched into fists. Impudent woman... saying something like that, and without my permission.
Realizing Suzaku was gazing anxiously at him, expression still one of determination, Lelouch shifted in his chair, crossing his legs to buy himself time. He'd been suspicious about why Suzaku was quick to agree to his plan, but he never would have thought C.C. would go as far as to bribe the Eleven with money.
...But it was C.C. whom he left in charge of reeling Suzaku in, and when it came to C.C. there was no such thing as rules or boundaries. He should have known she would resort to something like this.
It was too late to go back now, not with Suzaku firmly believing he would be rewarded for his help. Lelouch remembered the story of the young man's sick cousin; Suzaku was depending on that money.
Exhaling loudly, Lelouch picked up his fork daintily and stabbed a piece of meat with more aggression that he would have liked to show. "We'll discuss this matter at a later date."
"What are they doing?" Kallen groaned, removing her ear from the kitchen door and crossing her arms over her chest. "All they're talking about is the plan!"
"The plan is important," C.C. reminded her. "They need to make sure they're both on the same page."
She was right, Kallen knew. But still. "They should be trying to flirt with each other or something. How is this supposed to let us know if they have chemistry or not?"
"I think it's told us quite a bit," Rakshata said, rolling her pipe between her fingers.
Kallen snorted. "Yeah, like how they're a boring, unconvincing couple at best."
"Did you really expect Lelouch to be involved in an exciting relationship?"
Catching C.C.'s blank gaze, Kallen couldn't help but smirk. "Good point."
Rakshata inhaled from her pipe. "I don't think it's a lost cause," she started, tone thoughtful. "We have to remember, Lelouch and Suzaku are men. Stubborn, inexperienced men. Of course they're reluctant to act affectionately toward each other; whoever does so first will be viewed as weaker in the eyes of the other."
"It's their own fault then, if this plan fails. Not that it matters to me if it does."
Lawli: Before I go, I want to address something that a reviewer pointed out to me from Chapter 2.
On 1-11-09, anonymous reviewer 'Wow' left the following comment:
" "Not to say that he didn't find women attractive, because he did – he was very much a man in that aspect"
I was starting to read this story then you put in this sentence.
What the hell is up with this sentence? Are you saying that men that don't find woman attractive aren't real men, just because they are gay?"
I don't know if 'Wow' is going to come back and check out this story again, but I've already left a response to them in a review (they left no email, so I really had no other way to reply to them, unfortunately).
What I want to do is make sure that none of you think I meant gay men aren't real men. Because I definitely didn't. If I did, I wouldn't be writing a yaoi fanfic, right?
I'll try to explain why I wrote the sentence the way I did.
I'll agree that the sentence can be taken as kind of insulting towards gay people, if you're looking for it, but that is not MY thinking, it is the character (Lelouch's) thinking, as that section of the chapter is mainly from his point of view. Speaking in generalities, men are typically attracted to women. In the sentence prior to this, C.C. indirectly calls Lelouch gay, and Lelouch (who has never before been attracted to a man, yet has found women attractive) - as I think most men who are assured of their heterosexuality - gets defensive. And obviously, it will become ironic that he thinks this way since, later on, he will fall in love with a man.
I just wnted to make this clear to you all, in case anyone had feelings similar to 'Wow' after reading that sentence. If you did, I apologize! It wasn't my intention.
Anyways, that's about it. Thank you for putting up with this ridiculously long author's note. ^^
See you next chapter!