If You Wish It, Wish It Loud

EPOV

Walking thought he damp streets of Seattle, Bella practically bounced her way over the paving.

I couldn't think if I had ever saw so much life in her before. She was alive. She was electric.

Only a few moments before my left hand had been warm as she held onto it but now she was almost swinging off of Alice's side a few steps in front.

Jacob had made no effort to talk to me but he seemed to get on pretty well with Alice, the two of them a few steps ahead, now Bella joining them up in front.

We were going to get a cab around but apparently it wasn't that far to walk and the rain had ceased making Bella want to go out an enjoy the fresh air.

We couldn't really blame her. She had been cooped up inside all week.

I wiggled my lose fingers, the cold weather getting to them without Bella to keep me warm.

"So..." Charlie huffed in a low voice, his eyes darting up to make sure his words weren't heard. "You want her to move in with you?"

Shit.

He had heard us?

I wasn't lying. There was no way I could.

I looked up at him and tried to hide my shock and gave a silent nod before looking back to the three in front of us. "We were going to talk to you about it first...ask you..." We were. We hadn't actually said it, but we both knew that that was what we would need to do.

He rubbed at his face. He was clearly frustrated with the thought of it.

"I don't like it." He told me honesty as he eyed me up.

"I'll look after her." I argued back instantly, my tone showing my desperation.

"It's not about that, Edward. I know you will." he sighed as he looked out to Bella. She was about six feet in front of us and all you could hear from her was laughter as she hung from Jacobs back.

It made me more than a little jealous but I was glad to hear her laugh like she was. The three of them were in their own little world and I wondered if this was how they were before we had pulled Alice away from her.

"She's happy. I can see that." He was right. This was something new for Bella. A new lease of life. "But I don't want her to think she can only be happy if she's with you. This relationship that the two of you have gotten into, its like some kind of dependency. She doesn't need a life like that again."

"I know." I agreed. I knew what he saw. She had swapped her life with alcohol to a life with me, but truthfully, it wasn't like that at all. She had survived this week without me. I knew it was hard and I knew it had upset her but I also knew it wasn't only me that had put the smile on her face today. "But it isn't like that at all though. She's mending but I still know there will be days of hell for her too. I'm not expecting it to be easy."

Charlies face changed and it showed panic.

"Charlie, don't think that this is her fixed. She's having a good day and maybe tomorrow she'll have a good day too and maybe the next day as well. But one of these days, this week, I know she will come crashing back down. She's going to have highs and low and there going to happen at an alarming pace..." my words trailed off into the air and I wondered if he knew what was to come.

"Look, all I mean is that some days will be hard for her." He looked at me with his concern showing. "This is what she needs." I motioned to Jake and Alice and he understood that she needed people, her friends around her.

His stepping slowed and he turned to me a little and I knew he had something to ask. He wanted my thoughts on something. "How long do you think until she's..." he frowned. "God I hate this word...normal?"

I sighed exasperated. He had been here all week with her. Didn't he know how it worked. "A day at a time, Charlie." I bit to him to take this seriously, that she just wasn't going to wake up one day and have everything back to how it was before she lost her mum and the accident.

"I know, I know. But your planing so far ahead. Why can't I?"

"I'm not. I asked her to move in with me because I love her. I want to be with her all the time. I'm sure you can understand that. You were married once."

His eyes narrowed at me. I waited for some sort of berating, but it never came. "I suppose I can understand that."

That was it?

I was waiting for something else. That Bella was too young, that I was too old. That I needed to find someone else my own age.

"I married Renee at eighteen," his words were even lower if possible. His eyes looked tired as they met mine again. "...and I still do." he shrugged. My heart clenched for his pain the loss that he had but had kept quiet on. "Sometimes that's just the way it goes. You meet someone at eighteen and then their your whole world. I don't care that your older, Edward. I don't. Not any more. I just worry for you."

"For me?" I asked surprised.

"No offence, but your a little intense. " He laughed a little awkwardly with a shake of the head. "I know that you care about her. I have already saw that you would do anything for her. I just don't want you to get so consumed by her that you feel there is no one else for you."

"There isn't." I argued. "I don't want anyone else."

He laughed a little again. "And I should be on top of the world that that's how you feel. But I know what it's like when they just walk away."

"She wont though." Was it really me on Bella's side here? That I had more faith in her than her own father?

"Edward, I love her. She's my daughter but I know what she's like."

"No." I shouted at him. I never meant too and I never meant to gather interest from the others either.

Bella quickly jumped down from Jakes back and was by my side instantly.

"What's going on?" She demanded as she looked up at her father.

We all kept walking but Bella kept looking up at Charlie for some sort of response.

"We were just talking..." he muttered.

Her jaw tightened. "And you had a go at him?" She accused.

"Bella, no..." I tried to tell her it was a miss understanding but she silenced me by raising her hand.

"We were just talking..." he muttered again, trying to keep it quiet.

"About what?" She pushed.

"Bella. It's fine. Nothings wrong. Just let us talk." I pleaded.

She looked up at me and I could see the rage sweep across her face.

"I'm not some kid, Edward. You can't tell me what to do."

"This is exactly what I mean." Charlie added and I could see the confusion and the rage combine.

She looked furious.

"Tell me. I want to know. What were you saying about me."

"Nothing..." I tried to play it down as I let out an awkward groan. Alice eyed me up suspiciously. But there was nothing to say.

"I was trying to warn him how much of a pain on the ass you would be if you moved in with him." Bella's face fell as she looked up at me.

"You asked him?" She shouted at me. "You asked him without me? Don't you think I deserve to at least be part of that conversation."

"I overheard you three talking. So did Jake." Charlie snapped at her. Bella quickly turned to face Jacob and he nodded, agreeing. "I was having a conversation with Edward. It didn't involve you. I was asking him to reconsider."

"Why? Why can't I move in with him?" She was getting this all wrong.

Charlie was concerned for me, not for Bella. I had understood his words and he was sure she would leave me, and maybe she would. But it was something I was willing to risk. I would take that heartbreak if it was what she really wanted – to leave me.

"I was worried about Edward. He loves you and would do anything for you. I know you would be safe but I just want you to wait until you are on your feet a little more." His tone was soft and soothing.

"I want to live with Edward." She shouted like a demanding kid. She wasn't helping her self any.

"I know you do and right now that's my choice but Aro thinks that you could be given your rights back soon enough and then that will be your decision." He sighed again and rubbed his head in frustration. "I'm not going to stop you in the mean time. You do your time here and once they say you can go home, it's up to you where you decide to go. I'm just worried you're doing it for the wrong reasons."

"We're not." She told him. "I want this. I want to be with him and only him." her eyes fell to the ground and I could see the hurt in Jacobs eyes. He turned to face the other way and Bella looked over her shoulder to see his back to her.

"I need all my friends and I need you too dad, but I'm not doing this for the wrong reasons. I'm doing it because I know it will make me happy." She smiled up at him before nervously twitching. "Did you mean what you said? That it's up to me?"

"It's your life Bells. Just make sure you do what's right for you. I'm not stopping you but if I see any reason for intervention and I still have your rights. I'll use it. I trust Edward." He looked up at me. "He's been with you through a lot in such a short space of time. That's my only worry. Maybe you should see how you both feel when your back out of rehab and if moving in is what you want, then fine, fair enough. But you can still live at home and be with him too. You stay at his enough before hand." He laughed a little.

She nodded at him then turned to me. "We'll come back to this once I can go home."

I nodded agreeing. I wanted Charlie to see that we were serious, but that Bella's recovery was truly my main priority.

Coffee had been great. I had sat and watched Bella, amazed as she still stayed to close to Alice. Her contact with Jake was also pretty close but could read from their body language that I had nothing to worry about. And I trusted her.

Charlie had kept quite about the whole moving in thing and I suppose it was best to make that decision when it was needed.

But I had understood Charlie. He was concerned that Bella would change her mind on us and that it was me who was going to be left standing alone.

In one way it angered me. That just because Renee had done it to him, that he thought Bella would do it to me. But I was also touched that he held faith in me to look after Bella that he trusted me.

The day had been good and the smile Bella wore, was infectious.

She seemed to have rounded some corner, but I knew she wasn't through with her therapy. It was still going to be a long road.

Kissing her goodbye was a little gut wrenching to say the least knowing that I was going to have yet again another long week, alone, ahead of me.

The sad look in her eyes began to fill again and I didn't want to leave her.

We both knew how long the week would feel without the other.

I reminded her that we had forever and that a week was a small price to pay and she agreed. She promised she would take on everything Aro would say to her and that she was determined to get better as soon as she could.

I knew it wasn't going to work like that but to see her so determined and to have a goal to reach for, it made me ecstatic.

I was sitting in my car ready to go as Jake filled my trunk with his bag. He got in silently and buckled up without a word.

He looked kinda glum.

I didn't know why he looked so down but it wasn't my place to ask so I started the engine and began the long drive home.

Driving for an hour and a half, not one word had been spoken between the two of us. Only the music played through and even that was pretty quiet.

Trying to break the tension a little, I tried to make conversation.

"Are you glad you want?" I asked carefully. The two had made up but maybe there were still doubts in his mind.

"Yeah." was all he gave and even then it was barley audible.

I nodded.

The car fell into silence again.

"So you think you two can be friends again?" I prodded a little needing to know that he would be there for her like she needed him to be.

He scoffed at my words. "Yeah. Great friends." he let out sarcastically.

Something was up with him. "What's your problem? Are you not happy to have her back?" I asked a little annoyed.

I had put myself out there for him and he didn't even seem to care.

"I'm happy for her. I'm happy she's getting her life back on track and I'm happy that she realizes she doesn't need all those guys. No, now all she needs is you." He practically roared at me.

"Seriously?" I asked incredulously. "This is about me? You have a problem with me and her?"

"My problem..." he snapped. He sighed and shook his head. "I see it okay. You have her. Its you two against the world." He sighed again and rubbed at his head. "I just hope you now how lucky you are to have her?"

"I do." I croaked out. My voice felt frail and weak.

"Good. Just don't mess her about." he looked out to the window "I just can't believe you are moving in together. You have been here five minutes and your moving in together..." He sighed but still never looked back to me.

"I wont mess her about." I promised. "And I know it seems quick, but our situation...it's different." Bella and I had never been like other couples. We had went out and about around town a few times, but that was only ever to the shops or what not. We had never actually been on a date.

We had never been on a date.

Well with the exception of Emmett's wedding.

That hit me like a ton of bricks. Not that I felt it was needed, just that we never had really been normal. We hadn't even tried.

We hadn't actually become a couple until she had been admitted to the rehab center and even then that was at my doing.

When she was feeling a little more up to it and of course, back home, I was going to do it all. It's what she deserved.

After dropping Jacob off in LaPush, I headed back to my parent's house knowing that I still didn't want to return to my empty apartment.

I would when Bella was back with me. But for the moment I was just happy to know I could go to my parents and have them for company.

Parking my car in the drive, I headed inside as I called on them.

My mothers voice called back in reply and a few moments later I saw her head corner the door to the living room.

She greeted me warmly and hugged me tight as she asked how Bella was doing.

"Do you know when she'll get back home?" She asked hopeful as she curled her legs below her on the couch next to my father. He gave a small nod and smile as a greeting.

Throwing myself back into the couch I shrugged. "No. Charlie never said. I don't think Aro will say until later this week. She said she felt like she had some progress thought."

My mum gave a nod in understanding. "What about Jacob? You didn't hit him did you?" She asked me but I knew she was teasing.

"No, he made it out alive, sadly." I joked back.

My mother knew all that had gone on between Jacob and I and knew that a fight was possible if we both wound up each other enough. But luckily that had never happened.

"The boy survives another day? I am impressed." My dad joked back with a small grin.

He looked over at me and I could see the the seriousness shadow his features. "Alice called us and said that you asked Bella to move in with you? Are the two of you ready for that?"

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back as I let out a long sigh. "Yes. I think we are. We're not they same as every one else. We haven't even had a date." I admitted.

"Exactly." he jumped in. "Maybe try that first. You don't need to push on so fast. You have all the time in the world." He argued gently.

I sat up and looked him deep in the eye. "Do we?" I asked seriously.

Do we?

It was a reasonable question.

Nothing was concrete.

Everything could change in a flash.

"Pardon?" He asked a little confused. My mum shuffled on her seat and looked at me, interested.

"Do we have all the time? Her mum is dead. She almost never made it out of that place herself. Does she really need to wait for something that would make her happy?"

He was a little speechless for a moment. "Edward...You can be with her and enjoy it all..." I didn't know if he was finished. He shrugged and he looked a little lost.

"All he was trying to say is, give it a little time. It doesn't need to be months...just a few weeks."

"We are...well we might. We are going to sort it out when it needs to be sorted out, when Bella comes back home."

My dad still looked a little worried "That's not the worse idea."

"I know." I agreed, because maybe it wasn't. It was what needed to be done. I knew I wanted to rush and give her everything she wanted but at the same time, I needed to think about what she really needed as well.

As we spoke, we heard a faint noise coming from down the hall. And voices.

"Hello. Anybody in?" Emmett's loud voice called to us.

My mum shot up in her seat, surprised. They weren't mean to be back from honeymoon for another week.

"Emmett?" My mother called back as she rushed to her feet and to the door.

Rosalie.

I heard her voice in the background. It was quiet but she was laughing away.

I rushed to my feet, desperate to get her for the damage she had caused.

My dad was quick on my heels though and grabbed hold of my shoulder, stopping me.

"Edward, take it easy. Its done with now." I knew he was only trying to calm me, make me try and forget it ever happened, but I couldn't.

Bella could have killed herself if I hadn't have stopped her and it was all Rosalie's fault.

I pulled away from him sharply and rushed out into the hall.

"You evil fucking bitch." I spat at her, I was at a complete loss at what to actually say to her, other that what I truly though of her.

Her face fell and she stumbled back a step in surprise at my tone. "Wh...Wh..." She looked completely shocked and at a total loss for words.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Emmett stepped in front of Rosalie, to try and shield her away from me. But it wasn't going to work.

"She knows what I'm talking about." I shouted over his shoulder as I tried to get at her, him stopping me.

I felt my mother tug on my wrist and try to pull me back but she couldn't stop me either. I had waited almost a week to get this out of me and to face Rosalie.

"Edward, not now. Please." my father begged but his words were falling on deaf ears.

"She almost died because of you. She took pill after pill to try and die. Because of what you said to her." I snapped at her and I could see her flinch from behind her husband.

"Tell him what you said to her. Tell them all."

She still stood there in shock. She looked like a deer in damn headlights or something.

"Tell them." I roared.

"Edward, stop." My mum reached for my cheek and pulled my face to meet hers. She had a hard job of it as I kept my neck stiff so my eyes cold pierce into Rosalie's.

"No. She could have died. All so Rosalie could get in a cheap shot." I looked to my mum briefly and I could see panic flood her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Emmett asked, infuriated.

"Tell him." I gritted.

Rosalie still stayed quiet as if she was looking for the world to swallow her up whole. Emmett was never going to like it.

She still never made a move to speak. So I did. "She went after Bella at the wedding." I looked Emmett in the eye to know just how serious this was and that I wasn't lying. "She told her to stay away from me and that she didn't like her because of the gossip." I looked into the air trying to remember her words. "What was it you said to her, that you were raped but she lay down and asked for it?" I glanced back at Emmett to see his eyes bulge in pure shock.

He sharply turned to face Rosalie just as her tears began. The might work on him, but they would never work on me.

"You said that?" He asked in disbelief.

Rosalie wiped at the tears on her face but his glare never faltered. "Did you say that?" He shouted at her.

She jumped with fright at his sharp tone and looked to the floor as she gave a weak nod, admitting to it.

The deep breaths that he took showed that he was trying to gain his own control. After seeing him with Bella in the past, I knew he cared for her and what had happened was not expectable, even if it was Rosalie's doing.

"Why? Why did you need to do that?" He snapped at her but his voice was weirdly low.

She swallowed hard as she looked up to him. "I was trying to protect Edward." her words were a whisper. She was scared. I knew Rosalie never feared Emmett, but now I was beginning to see a new side to her. She would be worried in case this was too much for him and he left her.

"Edward doesn't need protecting." He told her sharply as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Do you want Edward to be associated with someone like her?" She asked seriously as she looked around in the hope of one of us agreeing. But no one was.

"Some one like her?" I jumped forward a step, desperate to do something to her. To make her feel the pain I had felt when I had to force the salt water down Bella's throat. The pain I felt when I knew Bella believed Rosalie's words more than mine. "You don't know the first thing about her. You don't know anything because you never care about anyone but yourself." I was seething and still pressing forward but Emmett held me back and my mums hand still cuffed around my wrist.

"Its not true. I care about you. I care about you all. But look what she did with Alice. Not just the drugs, but everything else. The people around here talk..." She tried to shrug it off, to show she was right, but she was still so very wrong. Wrong about it all.

"She tried to kill herself because of what you said to her. She thinks you are right, that that is what she is. But she's wrong and so are you." I shouted at her, I thought a vein was going to pop in my neck with the rage that coursed me.

"I had to force her to be sick. She has bruises up around her neck from me." I spat furiously. "I did that to keep her alive."

"How is she?" Emmett asked tiredly but also concerned.

"She's alive." I directed my words at Rosalie. "She's getting help. She's doing good and she's a lot fucking stronger than her." I told Emmett.

He nodded as he put his hand on my chest, pushing me back slightly again as I tried to move forward into Rosalie's space.

Rosalie only looked at the floor.

"Are you even listening?" I really don't think she cared that much. Still.

She looked up at me and she wiped the tears away but it was only because she was being called out on her actions, not that she actually cared what the end result of them was.

"Son, maybe give the two of them a moment." My dad tugged on my shoulder once again but she didn't deserve a moment to try and paint the picture to how she wanted it to look, but Emmett deserved a moment to let it sink in and just know what his wife was capable of doing to others he cared about.

I didn't want to face anyone. I didn't want to hear any comforting words or any phoney apologies. All I wanted was Bella and right now I couldn't have her.

I nodded agreeing with my father and raced up the stairs to my old room and slammed the door behind me.

I knew I could have handled the situation better, but I didn't want to. I wanted her to feel all the guilt she could and for her to realize that her words had impact. She was so self centred it was unbelievable.

I reached for my old bed and threw myself back onto the duvet letting it all sink in.

I didn't know how I was going to handle having Rosalie around when Bella was so clearly my future.

All I knew was Rosalie had been wrong and for that, I would never forgive and I would never forget.

Waking up the next day I was met with my mother and a sympathetic face. She smiled at me and fussed over me, cooking my breakfast.

She never mentioned Rosalie and I was thankful. My father was silent on the conversation, knowing it would be something we could talk about after work.

I knew that they wouldn't have liked how I lashed out at Rosalie but at the same time I knew they understood why I had.

Getting into work, it went in quick. My day consisted of patient then paperwork, patient then paperwork. It was constant but it kept me busy and had made a conscious effort not to try and think about Bella all day even thought my gut was already telling me I needed her.

Getting home that night I spoke briefly about my thoughts on Rosalie. Emmett came by to apologize and to tell us that they had came back early from honeymoon because Rosalie was missing home and that also they were going to have a baby.

Of course the previous night events had put a dampener on there haplessness, but I was still pleased for them, knowing it was what they had always wanted.

I went home that night back to my own apartment, leaving Emmett to revel in his happiness the way he deserved and also for my mum and dad to enjoy it too. I knew they would be thrilled.

Crawling into the empty bed, I felt a strange sensation pulse through me. It wasn't happiness but it wasn't sadness either. I felt as if I was stuck in the in-between.

My life felt like it was on pause until I got to see Bella again. Until she got to come back home.

I had came here for a fresh new start, coming because some feeling refused to leave me, telling me to come back here. And with it, I came across Bella and she had been the only real person, with the exception of my family, that I had spent any time with.

At work, Tanya had been great. She had been someone I could lean on.

It never bothered me though. Not really.

It was only fair that I sat out my time alone when I knew Bella felt the same.

We would be together soon, but until then, I had the weekend to look forward too.

a/n: Please review - i only had three from last week! let me know what you are thinking!