a/n: HUGE feck off apology for the time but I have a real excuse – I had HEART surgery...and now about 3 weeks of bed rest ;) oh how will I fill my time...?

Greet The Brand New Day

BPOV

"So do you want to tell me more about possibly moving in with Edward?" Aro asked as he gazed at me from his side of the room.

He shuffled a pad on his knee as he crossed his legs and took aim to take some notes at my words.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Did he want to know why I was doing it or how I felt about doing it? It really didn't matter anyway, he would want to know both answers.

"Do you feel its something that you need to do right now?" He asked simply.

I fidgeted with my saints bracelet, the one that Edward had given to me and I thought about why I was really doing it. "I suppose I do, yes." I looked across at him meeting his eyes. "I mean what's the point in waiting? All it means is you might not get what you want if you don't go after it quick enough." I shrugged and a little shocked at my own honesty.

"So you don't feel that this is perhaps a slightly reckless move? A lot like things you have done in the past?" He eyes me a little sceptically.

Was he being serious?

I had flirted with danger constantly and the moment I decided to be with something solid he was questioning it.

"No." I spat a little sharply then sighed relaxing into my answer. "I mean...I know the things I've done. But they were stupid things. Being with someone you love isn't stupid. Is it..?" I asked a little hesitantly, wondering if it were possible.

"This situation, for you, Bella; No I don't think it is. Edward seems to genuinely have your best interest at heart."

"But do you think its stupid?" I asked needing to know his opinion. "If you were me, would you do it?"

"Like I asked, Bella, why do you feel you need to do it right now?" He squiggled down a note and looked back up at me waiting on an answer.

"Because I love him, I want to be with him and like I said, why wait if it might disappear." I chewed on my lip wondering if he had heard the answer he was looking for.

"Do you think he might disappear? Do you worry that if you don't do it now, he will lose interest?"

Ouch.

That one was pretty sharp. But it wasn't my reasoning.

"No. We want to be together. I know he wont leave me. He would give me all the time in the world if I asked him, but why wait for tomorrow?" I flapped my hands out to show him the urgency of us to be together because it might not last. "There might never be a tomorrow." I urged him to see that even though I was rushing it, it was only because I had learned not to sit by the edge and watch life pass me by. No one knew when there last day was, so why worry about rushing to be with the one you loved. I saw no wrong in that.

"I'm impressed." he gave a small smile at me and I smiled back. "I was sure your answer was going to be "to get away from Charlie"." He laughed a little and so did I.

I would miss my dad but I knew that everyone had to grow up and move on at some point. If it wasn't for the whole nightmare of the storm and losing my mum, I wouldn't have even have gotten to know Charlie like I had. Besides he was going to be near by and he would still always be my dad.

"Tempting..." I muttered with a hint of sarcasm so he knew I wasn't serious.

"Do you think you and Edward will adapt okay to living with one another? The two of you already spent an awful lot of time together, do you think that maybe if you do move in together that you should perhaps make a point in spending time away from one another so not to become completely alien to others and too dependant on one another."

"Do you think that's what we should do?" I asked seriously. He was the best person to ask. I wanted to do this right and I would do whatever he thought was best. As long as he never discouraged our moving in with one another, altogether.

"I do, yes." he told me firmly. "Its easy to become wrapped in one another and become your own little unit as you think about the future the two of you want to have together. But you also need to remember that you do need others in your life as well."

I nodded agreeing to his words.

"You have friends in other places, go spend time with them as well. You are young and you have little real responsibility at present. There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of that situation, providing you do it sensibly."

I felt my smile widen at his words. He wanted to make sure that when I left here that I held on to my own life and my own identity as well as being with Edward. It made perfect sense to me. And what I had planned on doing. He was just pointing out the obvious to makes sure I never forgot my need to recover, as I still would be, a long time after leaving this place.

That was Monday.

Speaking to Edward on the phone that evening he seemed distant once again. I prodded him for information to his lyrical awkwardness and at it I had learned that Rosalie was back from honeymoon.

It never bothered me too much. Okay, there was some deep rooted panic within me somewhere knowing that she was back in Forks and that I would one day, soon, have to face her if I wanted to continue with my life like Aro and I had planned.

I tried not to let it consume me too much though. She was a small hurdle that I planned on running at head first. There would be no argument from me, only the satisfaction in looking her in the eye and knowing Edward was right. I was tougher than she could imagine. That I was worth something and that I was worthy or Edward.

"Do you think you will see her again? At your parents, maybe?" I tried to see if he was going to have another go at her. I really didn't want to imagine their meeting but I knew it wouldn't have been pretty.

"No. I'll just stay in the apartment this week. I'll keep out of her way. Emmett is ecstatic and he should get to be happy and let my mum and dad fuss over the pair of them..." His words trailed off and I felt a little confused.

Was Esme and Carlisle that forgiving? Would they just ignore what she had said because she had missed them?

"Did they not say anything to her...you know, about it?" I paused a little wondering if all their kindness towards me had been just for show.

"I don't know. I had spoke to Rosalie when she got back then I went to my old room. I spoke about it with them in the morning, but I don't know if they said anything to her...There probably too excited about the baby." his tone was distant and I wondered if he was even here with me.

"Baby?" I asked a little confused.

"Yeah. I was right...She's due in six months." his words sounded so vague, as if he wasn't even sure.

"That's nice...you know its good that they get what they want." my voice broke a little at things seeming so easy for Emmett and Rosalie. I knew that she had heartache of her own and I knew that if it had ever happened to me, I wouldn't know how to go on. But she had. It just seemed like she got it easy now. I knew how messed up and wrong that thought was and I hated myself a little for ever thinking it.

"I miss you..." Edwards voice was a little broken as well and I hated that I couldn't go to him. He was alone and I really wished that I could be with him. "I love you. I can't wait till you get back home."

"To our home?" I gently teased, hoping that he still wanted me.

He gave a small warm laugh down the line and I felt a warm sensation from it. "Yeah, our home, Love." I beamed at his endearment that he always so readily used.

"Just promise me Alice wont decorate it?" He teased back.

"Okay, I promise. But as long as you help me out a little." I smiled down the line and I wished I could see his face. If only to get me through the night without being so alone.

"It's a promise." I could hear the smile in his tone and I felt a little lighter at leaving him for the night in a better mood than when our conversation had first started.

"I need to go." I told him as the warning flashed on the little screen in front of me on the pay phone.

"I know. I'll speak to you later, beautiful."

"Night." The word was a hush as I heard the phone cut out.

Tuesday was a bad day.

I had carried Edwards tone with me through the night and my sleep was restless, worrying about him and the fact that he was planning on avoiding his family.

Jane looked up from her bed and I could see her attempt to make my day better. She had saw me come and go all day and I struggled to make a genuine smile like the one she kept giving me.

Reaching our room, I walked in to find her on her front, drawing but I had no energy to go and see the picture she was creating. I had saw other drawings that she had drew while in rehab and her talent was starting. I could only ever wish to have a percentage of the skill she had, when she drew.

Lying out on my back I could see her little bun bob away as she continued before she pushed herself of the mattress and practically skip to my bedside.

She looked down at me with a beaming smile as she held out the drawing towards me.

"What?" I asked a little too flatly. Couldn't I even be pleasant now?

"Take it." She shook the sheet in front of me, clearly somewhat proud of it. "It's for you."

I let out a tired sigh and sat up in bed taking it from her hand. Looking it the picture it was of a woman, her head covered. Only her face was reviled. She also held a long stemmed lilly in her hand, smaller flowers off shooting from the main stem.

Looking at it I knew it was a Saint and I even knew who she was and what her attributes were. One of her attributes was against sexual temptation.

"Really?" I asked with a smirk as I looked back up a Jane.

"Well I thought you could do with all the help you can get." She shrugged with a laugh.

I have to say I was impressed. Not only at the drawing and her talent and the fact that it was a saint, but just the general humour. I burst out laughing and I couldn't help but smile.

She had tried all day to get it out of me and she finally managed.

The Saint was Saint Catherine of Siena. Her story goes that she cut off her hair and vowed chastity for life and joined the Dominican order though lived away from the convent and stayed with her family. She gave away food and clothing that belonged to her family and despite her generosity, it cost her family.

Jane sat down on the edge of my bed and reached for my hand. Her expression was indescribable. She looked a little worried. "You know you are going to be okay, don't you?" Her tone was serious and it made nervous. I nodded at her words with a little apprehension

"I'm leaving..." She told me as her eyes began to well up.

She was leaving?

She was leaving me here, alone?

It was hard to hear but I had to accept it.

It was good news though. Really, I was happy for her.

Tears began to fall from her eyes and she wiped at her cheeks. "And your crying, why?" I asked while trying to inject a little humour into my tone but I wasn't sure it was working.

"Because I have to leave you. And I don't want too." Her breath was stuttered a little and she gave a small shrug. "You've had a bad day and I really didn't want to tell you."

I shook my head. "No. Don't be crazy. This is good. This is great." I reached for her pulling her into a tight hug to show her that I was genuinely pleased for her.

We hugged for a few moments in silence before we broke away.

"When do you go home?" I asked as I wiped away my own tears. I was sad to see her go but it would be better to see her on the outside. This wasn't the end for us.

"Tomorrow." She smiled at me with her streaky cheeks.

"That's amazing. You will get to see your boyfriend again." I cheered.

"Do you think I'll be okay back out there?" She motioned her head to the window.

"You are going to be just fine. If Aro thinks its time, its time." I nodded sure of myself. She had always seemed so strong in comparison to me, how could she be doubting herself?

She nodded and let out a little nervous laugh. "I'm going home." She cheered a little.

–

That nights sleep wasn't good either.

I had no Edward and now Jane was leaving me.

I hadn't really grew attached to anyone else and I wondered if that was a good thing. It was a little reminder to myself that it hurt when people left me. But she wasn't gone for good. She was still alive and kicking and we would be able to meet up in the future.

I was determined not to have any set backs due to this.

On Wednesday I cried to Aro for a good hour. We talked about loss once again. We delved deep into discussion about my mum and about Jane leaving.

Talking about my mum was hard, but it wasn't impossible and I found the words coming out my mouth pretty easy. It was as if Jane's imminent departure had opened up a whole new can of worms.

Good worms, though.

I think.

My afternoon session with Aro and Charlie went even better than my one alone and once again I found the words slipping out of my mouth.

I had explained that losing Jane was going to be hard, but also it was a good thing.

Aro pointed out it was a positive from a negative.

He liked to point that one out as much as he could, it seemed.

It wasn't necessarily a positive for me, not right now at least, but it was for Jane, and he told me to remember that there was still a whole world and an abundance of time once I got out of rehab.

We talked more about my fears of people leaving.

My dad ever dying.

Edward ever walking away.

Jake wanting nothing to do with me.

Alice deciding to put more distance between us.

During the session I admitted that I knew I had no control of what would happen with any of them. I just had to learn to have a little faith. Faith that no one would leave me and faith, that if they did, I would get through it.

As soon as my session with Aro and Charlie was over, I rushed to say my goodbyes.

Reaching our room, I found her sitting there packed and ready to go.

"You took your sweet time." She jokingly bit at me.

"You know Aro..." I sighed as I reached her and wrapped my arm around her, Jane doing the same thing.

"So do you promise me that you'll get through this and behave when you get out?" She asked seriously.

I pulled away from her too look at her face. "Of course. I'll be good."

"No deviant acts? No seducing strangers? No seducing friends? No drinking? No crazy motorcycle driving? No crazy cliff diving? Anything else I forgot..?" She asked with a grin.

"God, I do have a lot of bad habits." I laughed. "But I promise, I'll be good...with the exception to the cliff diving. It's fun. I'll take you one time." I told her a little excitedly, half planning a future meeting.

"No, no, no. You will never get moi jumping off the side of a cliff – Ever!" She told me with a hand on the hip and a point of the finger. "But we'll meet up soon. We're not that far from one another." She shrugged.

I nodded at her words and I could feel my eyes well up again. "I'm gonna miss you." I quickly pulled her into me so for her not to see my tears. I knew I looked like hell already with all my crying but I didn't want this to be her last image of me.

"Remember I'm only a phone call away. Call me. Whenever you want too. Even in the middle of the night." I nodded into the crook of her neck as I felt her sooth me with her fingers through the ends of my hair.

I pulled away once again. "And no hair pulling. You want to do that, you call me. Even in the middle of the night." I copied her words.

She nodded and I could see her eyes well up a little too. "I better go. My parents are out in the hall. They thought it was best we said our goodbyes alone."

I nodded at her words as she picked up her holdall and slung it over her shoulder.

She patted my shoulder and gave a small wink along with her parting words "I'll see you soon...".

With that she walked out and walked out of our little bubble.

Now I didn't know who I was going to lean on.

That night, I slept alone. Not another soul in the room with me.

I cried.

Not because I felt alone, but because for the first time in a long time I was alone and I was okay with that. I was content.

They weren't happy tears, but they weren't sad ones either.

–

Wakening up in the morning I had a nurse shake me. "Bella. Time to get up, sweetie." She called so caring.

I opened my eyes and let out a small yawn. I felt refreshed. I had cried but they only lulled me into a peaceful slumber that lasted the entire night.

Looking out the window I could see the wet and windy day form and it still caused a knot in my stomach. But I knew what I wanted to do.

I quickly got ready and dressed for the day before hunting down Aro before he began his day of sessions. I knew I would see him later but right now I wanted out. I wanted out to face the wind and rain and I wanted to do it now.

"Aro..." I called out to him as I rand down the hallway towards him.

His head turned in my direction and he smiled at me. "Bella, how are we today?" he asked polity.

"Good actually." I smiled. "That's what I was wanting to ask." I smiled and waited for him to indicate for me to continue.

He nodded, so I did. "Its raining..." He nodded "And its windy... Like really windy." It was. It was looking like almost gale force winds outside but it only made me more determined.

"And your question is..?" He asked a little confused.

"I want out." I told him pointedly as his brows furrowed in confusion. "I want to go out myself and I want to walk around."

He only nodded again as he seemed to grow more confused. "Why?"

"Because I just need to...I just need out and to face a fear on my own and I need to do it now. You know I don't like the wind and rain but I want to do this."

"I see...do you think you are ready for that?" He asked a little worriedly.

"Really, I don't know. I think I am. I need to try. Please. Jane left and I thought it would devastate me. As sad as it was having her leave though, I got through it. I want to keep pushing myself. I want this. I want to get home sooner rather than later and I don't want to dance around my fears. I just want to go a walk and see if I can feel calm."

"And if you don't? If you panic and your alone..?" He was right to ask the question.

"Then I get scared and I rush back and hide away and try again another day." I said so sure of myself.

He sighed. "Very well then. If your father agrees, you can go."

"Really?" I asked shocked. That was pretty easy.

"Yes, really. It will be good to talk about later. See how you managed..." He shrugged. "I'm glad to see you push yourself, Bella. I know that you want home. Maybe you might get there a little sooner than I expected." He gave a wink before walking away.

Was he serious? Did he honestly think that?

With that, I headed back to my room.

–

Once again I sat in tears. To say today's outing had been eventful would be an understatement.

Pushing through the gnawing feeling in my gut, I pushed on in towards the city. Walking past a renovation site, the wind caught up, blowing stacks of roof tiles right at my feet.

Understandably after witnessing that I had some mental flashback to myself inside the Superdome, collapsing down on me once again.

I screamed, burst into tears and in a fit of panic I raced into the nearest cab and ordered them back to my rehab centre.

Now I was sniffling into a used tissue as I told them all about the Superdome.

Aro sighed, part frustration and part feeling sorry for me that my day had started so well and fate literally blowing it to pieces. "So this panic you have of the wind, its more of what the wind can do, rather than just the actual wind itself?" he nodded frowning a little no doubt wondering if he got his words out right.

I nodded anyway, sure he was asking me that I was scared of low flying debris than the wind more than anything else.

He let out a little humourless chuckle. "Unfortunate..." He let out a little sarcastically.

"Are you laughing at me?" I asked completely gob smacked.

"No. It's just the way today's events went for you. I really am sorry to hear how your day went. You were filled with such enthusiasm this morning." He sighed again. "How do you feel about it though Bella? Do you want to drink? Do you want to do something wreck-less that you do have control over?" he eyed me silently as I shuffled in my seat.

I wiped at my face with the dissolving tissue as I shook my head. "No..." I let out a little tiredly. "All I want is to crawl into Edwards side...you know? Just for a hug." I shrugged feeling stupid and Aro no doubt picking up my need for Edward.

It wasn't that I needed him, it was more the fact that I just wanted a hug from someone I loved and trusted. I had already hugged Charlie, and though it helped, I still just wanted Edward to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright, that I was safe and today was just an ironic coincidence.

He only nodded at my words as Charlie rested his hand on my knee, trying to comfort me. I only smiled up at his attempt and offered my hand over his, happy to accept what I could get.

"So...you came back here?" he asked a little confused.

I nodded, yes. Where else was I supposed to go?

"You got in a cab...had your bank card on you, and instead of going to what you wanted, you came here?" He asked still more than a little amused.

"Are you taking the piss? Are you saying I should have went to Edward when I had the chance?" I was feeling more than a little short with him. My week had been a constant see-saw of highs and lows and it had just got to the end of rope called my patience.

"No, Bella, I'm pointing out that you could have?" he told me firmly.

Wait, what?

"I'm allowed to go to Edward?" I thought Charlie held my rights?

"No, listen, Bella. Your gut was to go for what you wanted – Edward..." I nodded. "But you never went to him, because you knew this is what you needed. You want Edward, but your brain never let itself get carried away by your own freedom to jump away from our care and to go to him when you so easily could have. You came here because it was what you needed."

I quirked an eyebrow up at him, still confused.

He sighed again at my dumbness. "Your gut reaction was to do what was best for you at present rather than act out with what you think you need. You don't need Edward, and your mind knows that. You want him...but you don't need him. He wasn't your first port of call when chaos striked."

"But I could have? But I knew Charlie would come after me." I smiled sheepishly at my dad, silently apologising.

"Bells, I think what he's trying to say is that you never gave a damn about what anyone else thought before. You were concerned about our thoughts and came to us because that was your responsibility for today. You were responsible for yourself and instead of abusing that trust, you showed us that you could be trusted."

Ah. Now I got it.

"So, do I get a gold star?" I asked with a little watery laugh, the two of them laughing too. "I know I need to get better, that's my concern. I know what I've done and what I need to fix. I'm trying here..." I let out a little exasperated.

"Well I have something better than a gold star..." Aro smirked, "How about going home?"

"Really?" I asked genuinely shocked.

"Yes, but you are still going to be an out patient. I want to see you on Mondays and Fridays. We're not finished yet, but you are doing good. You're not addicted to your self abuse, you just slip into a bad pattern. We'll establish ways to keep you from slipping back to them and I think the best way forward is living your life and dealing with an issue at a time. I still want you to take your medication until I say so. But I think this is what you need right now. If you struggle, you can always come back to stay and we will work thought why it never worked." he smiled across at me, some pride in his features.

"Wh...what about the things I want to do?" I asked a little warily knowing that I wanted to move in with Edward at some point soon.

He smiled t me knowing. "Edward..." he stated so simply. "See how you both are when you get home. But try sleeping in your own bed, if just for the first night. You wanted to push yourself, I think that would be a great opportunity..."

"When can I go?" I asked a little excited to finally get back to my own room with all my own belongings. It was unbelievable how much I had never considered the simple things in life. Being here had been eye opening in more ways than one.

He looked at his watch. "Its been a good and bad day for you, Bella. I think you deserve to leave tonight if you wish."

"Really?" I jumped up out of my seat excited.

"Really. But I do want to see you here tomorrow afternoon. I know its a long ride, but I think it could be in interesting move to see how you cope with two session per week."

"Is she ready for that?" Charlie added in, clearly concerned that maybe I wasn't ready. I was a little mad at him for perhaps putting doubt in Aro's head but I could understand it. All I saw was home right now and right now that was all I wanted but Charlie was right, if I left too soon, maybe it would unravel all the work I had put in.

Looking up nervously at Aro, I waited for his answer as he looked towards Charlie. "Like I said, it will be an interesting move. If I have any concerns at forthcoming sessions I will be quick to point them out and ask for her admittance here to be reinstated." Turning to face me, he spoke again. "I need you to try, Bella. Try to let the outside world see. You need to talk openly about it like we have. Obviously in people you trust, though. But as for letting people know what happened in general, try to work on that too." He took a breath before speaking again. "Let them know the truth about you. I know it will be hard, but you have to at least try."

I only nodded at his words. He was calm and he was precise and I knew that I couldn't let him down. He had helped me too much to undo all his work.

"Any other questions?" He asked as he peered between myself and Charlie.

Charlie shook his head, telling him no but I couldn't help but ask something. "What about my rights? When do I get them back?" The words were rushed and I was nervous at the possibility of being shot down by him and being told never.

"That's all up to you, Bella. As I'm your doctor it will be me who decides when. Right now, I don't know that answer. After today though, its gotten a little closer to that day. Keep doing what your doing. Talk. Discuss your feeling and try not to revert back to old habits. Especially when times get hard." Clasping his hands together he sat forward on his desk a little. "Be rational. Ask for help if you need it because there will be a days when its hard and you need to sort through them without reverting back to your old instincts."

I suppose I understood him. If I just let myself fall back into my old ways, I was never going to be declared of sound mind. I was of sound mind. I knew I was. I just had to prove that to the rest of them.

"So what's next?" I asked eager.

Aro only smiled at me. "Right now, home for you and back here on tomorrow afternoon."

–

a/n: So sorry that I haven't got back to all your great reviews. Please keep them up they keep me going and I really need a good kick back into this after the time I've had so pleas let me know what your thoughts are. I can only get better if you tell me where I'm going wrong.

I should be Uding soon my lovelies!