Back again! Get me – got to love me a little heart surgery to get ma mind kicking off!

Because

BPOV

Sitting on the couch, my foot twitched in anticipation of Edward picking me up for our first official date.

Shuffling in my seat I felt my dads eyes look up to me from the television and give out a small chuckle. "Ain't I meant to be the one that's worried...you going out on a date an' all."

"I'm not worried." I snapped.

I closed my eyes for my short temper and sighed. "I'm...I'm...I..I don't know what I am. It just makes it all feel so official."

He looked at me and I could see concern in his eyes. "It's as official as you want it to be, Bell. You don't need to go fast on anything."

I nodded as I chewed on my bottom lip.

"Besides, I think Aro is right. I think this is something you should be doing. Getting out there and having some sensible fun. You've been living in a lot of darkness, Bella. You need to just go out and enjoy the simple things...Like a date with either your official or non-official boyfriend." His smile cracked at his last sentence and I knew he was right.

"But what abo-" I began.

"Forget about them." He told me bluntly.

"Or abo-" I started again.

"Forget about them. Forget about everyone that doesn't matter to you. Concentrate on the people who do care about you. You want to go around here holding your head high, you have every right too. And you should."

I sighed knowing that no matter what I said, Charlie was just going to keep pushing me like I needed to do to myself.

"Did you call Mrs Newton when we got back?" He checked.

It had been something that had came up today with my appointment with Aro. Work. I had to get back to my life and I knew that Mrs Newton would always keep a job for me, simply because I was the Chiefs daughter.

"Yes I did. I told her I had been...recovering, and she was happy to have me back. I start back on Tuesday." It was something I was looking forward too. I was actually beginning to miss Mikes mindless mumbles.

"Good. That's what I like to hear...And what are you up to tomorrow?" he pushed knowing the answer I was going to give.

"I'm going to see Jake at the rezzy." I informed him a little smugly. "I wonder if he got a chance to fix up my motorcycle after I came off it last time." I innocently taunted.

"Don't even think about it. I find out you're on that thing ever again, I'm taking you back to Aro and leaving you there." He told me with a little humour.

"Well I'll get on it again, sometime." I replied seriously.

"No, Bella. You can sell it and put it towards that nice little future that you and Edward will have." He was actually mocking me right now.

"No, I'm keeping the bike." I told him sharply.

"I said that you're selling it." Sitting forward in his seat he was waiting for me to push further. So I did.

"It's my bike. I love going out for a ride on it. You cant make me sell it. I promise I'll be more careful and that I'll only go out with Jake on it, but you gotta let me keep the bike."

"No." He told me firmly.

"I'm going to ask Aro." The words rolled out my mouth like a spoilt five year old and I instantly hated myself for sounding so childish.

Before he could argue thought there was a knock on the door.

Edward

My knight in a shining Volvo.

I rushed to the door to find Edward standing in a pair of black jeans and a navy blue fitted shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He looked effortlessly understated but dressed to perfection at the same time.

I mentally hated myself for not listening to Alice advice to go shopping and buy something new. Instead I stood in my skinny indigo jeans with a little thin fitting white hooded top and my converse.

"You look Beautiful." He told me as he greeted me with a kiss on the cheek then pulled back to look at me.

"Thanks." I could feel myself blush and I loved the way that he looked me deep in the eyes. It was like he was trying to read my soul. I felt dazzled.

The tone between us changed instantly as Charlie spoke. "Doesn't she just, Edward?" He asked rhetorically as he walked up to us. "You might want to remind her that she might not always look like that, next time she's thrown off of her motorcycle."

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to use Edward as his pawn to get what he wanted.

I was keeping that damn bike.

Edwards brows bunched up in confusion as he looked between Charlie and me. "Did I miss something?"

"I'll explain later..." I sighed in frustration as I lifted my jacket off of its hook, along the wall.

"Yeah, so have her home by ten tonight, Edward." Charlie demanded.

"What? You cant do that." I shouted with disbelief.

"No, what I can't do is have control over your financial assets. You, I can tell what to do." He smiled smugly at me.

I knew what he was doing. He was making me suffer because I wasn't giving up my bike.

"It's a Friday. I'm eighteen and I was home at ten thirty last night." I argued. "You cant make me come home back then."

He had this triumphant look on his face and I wanted to smack it off of him. "Yes I can."

"And if I say I'm selling my bike..?" I asked knowing he would change his answer.

"I'd say I'll see you in the morning. Don't stay out all night but its up to you when you do come back."

At that I let out some weird frustrated yell.

"Fine." I bit sharply at him. "I'll sell the bike and then you cant try to manipulate me any more than your already doing."

I felt Edwards hand on my shoulder, he was trying to calm me. I shrugged him off because I didn't want to be calm. I wanted to be angry. I did still have that right.

Fighting with my jacket, I continued my words. "You know you are so unbelievable. You think because I fell off it, that I was reckless. I'm a good driver on that bike. Just ask Jake."

"I want you alive, sweetheart. Edward was the bad guy last time cos he made you throw up those pills but you thanked him in the end. When you live a long and happy life without any motorcycle injuries, you can thank me then too." he shrugged.

"Ahh. Freaking unbelievable." and with that I rushed out the front door, pulling Edward behind me.

I heard the door close behind me and then a tug on my wrist. "Want to tell me what that was all about?" Edwards tone, light.

Shrugging my wrist out of hit touch, "Did you not hear? I'm to get rid of the bike." I nipped as I rushed to Edwards car.

He was fast on his feet and reached my door before me, opening it. I threw myself into the passengers seat and gave a mumbled thanks in response.

Edward was instantly in his seat and looking a me. I could feel his eyes burn into the side of my head.

"What?" I snapped. I really didn't know why I was taking it out on him, it wasn't his fault.

"Are you going to be acting like a brat all night or are you going to get over this?" His words were firm and it made my eyes turn to his.

"I'm...I'm sorry." I sighed. "I know it's not your fault. I just really love my bike." I could feel myself pout like the brat Edward had called me.

"Yeh, well your dad loves you." He told me pointedly. "And so do I. I have already witnessed you come flying off that thing once before and I thought I was going to throw up when I saw you sprawled out on the side of the road. I didn't even know you then."

I cringed at the memory, that whole day.

"Next time you might not be so lucky." He added as he reached for my hand.

"But what about if someone said to get rid of your car? I know you love your car..." I stated.

"Yes I do. But Volvo's are pretty much the safest cars to drive in the world. Motorcycles aren't. Besides you have your truck. I know you love that." He told me so sure of himself. He knew I loved it. He hated it, but I loved it.

I kept quiet. It was obvious that Edward was on Charlies side over this one.

"Come on Bella, be reasonable. You-" He started.

"Be reasonable?" I shouted as I looked up at him. "Be reasonable. You be reasonable. It's only a damn bike to you, but to me it means something."

He groaned and turned away to look through the windscreen. "You have had more than your fair share of falls off of that thing already. Next time it could be serious. We just don't want to lose you. Do you really want to keep being that reckless person, Bella?"

That was it. I had had enough. I wasn't having them think that just because I had fell off it in the past that I was stupid and reckless. It was a mode of transport and it was something I shared with Jake. We had built our bikes up together. He had taught me how to do that. It was something that wasn't tainted, something that was just me, It had been a distraction to normality putting those bikes together. Admittedly I had been reckless on them before. The day I had met Edward I had been reckless but that wasn't me any more. I had changed. But no one believed that I had, not yet at least.

Reaching for the handle, I opened the door, getting out. I wasn't being treated like a kid. I knew I was acting like one, but that was their own doing.

"Bella..." I heard Edward call on me as I made my way back to my house. I could hear his footsteps on the gravel as he chased after me.

Walking in the house, I saw Charlie relaxed out in his chair. "I'm back before ten. I keep the bike." and with that I raced up stairs and into my room, slamming the door behind me.

It wasn't long before my bedroom door was opened. Not a knock or anything to alert me, but I knew it was Edward. I had heard him speaking to Charlie after I had left him standing on the front door step.

I could hear the almost silent shuffle of his feet on the carpet as he closed the door behind him.

"Are we going to talk about this?" He prodded gently.

I lay with my face in my pillows and I really didn't want to face him, but his tone alone had me turning to see him. I never spoke.

Warily, he sat down on the edge of my bed and placed a soothing hand on my thigh. "I know you think we're just being awkward and taking advantage right now, but it's not like that. Charlie – I'm worried about what will happen to you if you fall off of that bike next time. It's not that we don't trust you. We just want you to be safe, and being on the back of one of those things, in a wet place like Forks; it isn't good."

"I'll be sensible though. I'll only ride it when the weather is at its best and I'll stay off of the main roads."

"Most of those accidents happen off of the road, they happen right in the type of land that you go driving on with Jake." He ran a hand through his hair and I could see he was getting frustrated with me not wanting to budge on this one. "I don't want you to ride it because it's dangerous. I don't want you riding that damn truck either because it doesn't look like it can last a journey but I knew I had to draw a line somewhere. I'd rather drive you around myself."

"You? You drive like a maniac. If Charlie saw you he would be letting me keep the bike." I let out a little laugh that I really wanted to keep in. But it was true. Edward was a great driver but he was a speed demon behind the wheel. His driving scared me so it was a little ironic that he was asking me not to drive my bike in case something happened when I was a better driver than him.

"Fine. I'll slow down. I'll put more caution into my driving. But meet me halfway here, Love." That one word 'Love' how did he know he could break me with that. His tone and everything around it was so sweet.

I looked up to the celling and I felt him squeeze my thigh gently. "It's me and Jakes thing. I really just want to keep the bike."

Looking back at him you could see his brain trying to come up with some solution. "What if you kept it and just didn't ride it."

"Do you know how much money I put into that thing?" I shot at him.

"Not as much as your worth, Bella." he replied back.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought it through.

Sitting up, I gave in. "Fine. I wont ride it but I'll keep it for the time being."

He pulled me into him, hugging me. "Thank you..." he kissed my forehead before looking me in the eyes again. "So...about this date? Think you still want to do it."

I sighed and rolled my eyes " I suppose so." I gave out flatly.

"Great enthusiasm there, love. Makes me feel like a wanted man."

I let out a laugh. "I'm kidding. Of course I want to go out still...well I'd rather stay in..." I wiggled my brows at him, suggestively.

He smiled and laughed at my words and actions. "Now that makes me feel wanted." he told me as he quickly pecked my lips.

Before he could get away from me and I had wrapped my arms around his neck. "That's because you are wanted." With that I pulled him down on top of me onto the mattress in a searing kiss.

Eating out in Forks, choice was limited. We had drove to a small Chinese restaurant that wasn't too far from where Edward lived, and settled into our seats with out too much fuss.

He held onto my hand from the car until we reached our table, before hesitantly letting it go. It made me feel so wanted myself.

Our kisses had grew a little hot and it was Edward that had resigned our actions so that we, or should I say he, was able to walk past Charlie down the stairs and leave.

As I sat across from Edward, I suddenly felt as if I was just gazing at him. He was beautiful and he seemed so damn perfect. I knew he wasn't. But nearly. We chatted away and we laughed and had fun. We spoke more about the bike and found Edward tease me about my behaviour. He was right too. I had acted like a kid.

"Edward." I heard a voice call as a woman walked up to our table. "Hey, how are you?" She asked sweetly as she batted her eyelashes towards him. "I was asking your mum only earlier today, how you were? You're looking good." He gave a tight lipped smile before replying.

"I'm doing good thanks. Just out with my girlfriend. Do you know Bella?" He gestured towards me, instantly putting me under the spotlight.

"Bella Swan..?" Her wary voice called out as she looked at me. "Its been a while, sweetie." Her smile widened as I shifted in my seat.

"Victoria..." I acknowledged.

"I hope you're good. I heard you were out of town?" She carefully prodded as she rose an eyebrow.

"Yes. I just got back last night." I nervously mumbled. I knew Edward would have wanted me to tell her why. But I wasn't going to.

"Good time was it?" She enquired some more.

"Interesting..." Was all I gave out as I nervously scratched the back of my neck.

"Well, don't be a stranger. Come round sometime." She smiled at me then to Edward. "A proper catch up would be good. It's been ages."

"Yeah, sure..." I could feel my face burn with the lie I had just given. There was no way I was ever returning to her apartment.

"We'll I'm only here for pick up. I'll see you both around town. And good to see you back Edward." She gave a small nod in my direction and the look in her eyes alone had caused a shiver down my spine.

When she was gone, Edward looked at me, asking how I knew her. "She was in my year at high school. How do you know Victoria, Bella?" He seemed concerned about my involvement with her and he would be right to be worried. But it was in the past.

"I know her. We used to party." I shrugged. "Can we please not go into discussion about that one right now. I'm having a good time and I don't want to go back there tonight."

"Okay. But I'll ask another time. I don like that girl. She was always up to no good." he told me pointedly.

"And before I met you, I was up to no good. Just drop it okay." I snapped at him I instantly regretted it. "Sorry..."

He waved me off. "It's fine, Love. I understand."

Excusing myself, I headed for the bathroom and freshened up. It had been going so good until my past came rolling up to my table. But I suppose it wasn't all just going to dissipate. I had to part with the past to show people I had moved on and never returning to Victoria's would be a step in the right direction.

Walking back to the table I saw a few faces turn to look at me and I felt eyes on me as I sat back down across from Edward. "I'm not being crazy, am I?" I asked seriously. "People are looking at me, right?" I wondered if it was all somehow deep in my head.

His eyes drifted across the restaurant and I could tell from the stony change on his face that I was in fact, right. "So what, ignore them." he told me as he glared with some one in the distance.

I hated that he was having to defend me like this.

His eyes were quickly back to me and a soft smile played his lips, but I knew it was fake.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. "You shouldn't have to be part of this." He shouldn't. His family were well respected. His dad was Chief of staff at the hospital and his mother worked hard with her own business as well as helping out local charities.

In reality, they were a little upper class, and well, I didn't even belong in a class. I had none. Not even Charlies, Chief of police, blue collar class could save me. Anything I got through my connection to him was out of pity, not because I was known as a hard worker, or even intelligent. I had barely passed high school.

I knew I wasn't stupid. But no one else knew that.

"I'm your boyfriend." he snapped a little impatiently, though his words were a little hushed so not to draw any more attention to us. "I'll put up with it all. I don't care what they think Bella, because they still don't know you."

"Are you though?" I asked. Charlie was right. It was as official as I wanted it to be. And I really wasn't right sure if I was ready for everything that Edward was offering me.

I loved him. I honestly did. But were we rushing everything. Was my fear of not taking it all while I could, becoming to irrational.

His brows bunched up in confusion and I could see hurt in his eyes too.

I couldn't stay here. My past was always right behind me. Victoria showing up was a reminder of that. Never mind the watchful eyes of the town.

"I need to go." I told him quickly and without hesitation as I got to my feet and raced out the front door and out of the restaurant.

Outside I caught my breath as I reached for the fence at the edge of the car park.

How was I to get home, now?

Looking down the road on the other side of the fence I realized, walking would be my only option.

It was only then I noticed I was crying. Tears streamed down my face once again and I was so fed up of this. This feeling...

I had marked myself and now I was never going to be good enough for anyone. Even if Edward was accepting of my past, it was still going to haunt me, and he didn't deserve it to haunt him, too.

Cars drove in and out and gravel crunched constantly.

I never heard Edward come up behind me and I only realized he was there when he tugged on my arm.

"What was that?" he asked. He sounded angry and I was glad. Maybe he would be more sensible of me if he was mad.

His grip on my arm was tight and he fought with me to try and get me to face him. But I didn't want him to see me.

"Just go home, Edward." I told him sharply.

"What? Fuck no." He growled at me. "What is going on with you?"

"It's not me, it's you." I told him pointedly with a sigh. "You want everything now. We weren't even finished with our first date and you were calling yourself, my boyfriend."

He laughed without humour and dropped my arm. "Yeah, Bella, cos we only just met, didn't we?" He asked rhetorically and his voice full of sarcasm. "I mean, its not like we've slept together, or shared a bed, or even met one another's families..." He trailed off.

Catching me off guard, he grabbed me harshly so I was forced to look at him. Anyone else and I would have panicked. That would have been normal, but I knew that Edward was only searching for the truth, the truth that he would be able to read from my face.

Looking at me, his expression instantly softened. The pad of his thumb gently wiped at the corner of my eyes, relieving me of the tear that was about to roll down my face. "Stop it." he bit so sharply that your wouldn't have expected it with the look in his eyes. "Stop it, now. Stop running. Stop replacing old fears with new ones. Stop thinking that the whole world is out for you. Stop it." His words were like jabs to the heart, but somehow they only made me feel calmer.

I dropped my eyes from his and I felt so exhausted.

"I'm your boyfriend. I love you and I'll never care about the mistakes you made before you met me and I'll never care about the arseholes that think they can judge you, because of it. I love you and I'm not letting you go because of that."

Looking up to him it made me want to cry all the more. I hated being weak, I hated how he was so strong.

Reaching for him, I kissed his lips in desperation. This strength before me was just too overwhelming but I also knew I couldn't go without it, without him.

My fingers ran up through his hair as I pulled him in closer to me. I would have gone without air if it meant that I didn't have to separate myself from him.

I felt myself stumble back as Edward pushed me. My bottom hit off the fence I had leaned against and at it I felt Edward push further into me.

I knew it was beyond indecent but I really couldn't care.

I felt my leg slide up the side of Edward and I mentally stopped myself from my need and froze on the spot.

Edward quickly broke away from my lips, gasping for air, but he still spoke. "Back to mine?" He croaked out.

I gave a small nod and before I knew it, I was pulled back away from the fence and shakily walking to Edward car.

In the car I had kept my hand steady on his thigh in anticipation of what was next.

I really didn't know what was going to happen.

Kissing in the car park had put something into me. This desperate energy for Edward. I needed him.

We both entered his apartment, and before I knew it, I was throwing myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him as if the world was just about to end.

The force at which I propelled myself towards him, caused him to crash back into the apartment door. I could feel the small snigger from Edwards lips as he continued kissing me.

His hands slid down the sides of my thighs firmly and pulled on them, wrapping my legs around his waist.

Our kissing never ceased.

He walked and cradled me to his bedroom before kicking the door open.

I still didn't know what was going to happen.

I knew what I had told him. That I was going to wait until we had sex again.

But that wasn't the thought in my head.

This felt so right, so natural. Just like last time. It felt like we had waited too long and that we had became desperate for one another after starving ourselves of each other.

Aro had never said, don't. That option was mine to make. He only asked that it was with a person I cared for, and I cared for Edward. I loved him, I wanted him. I wanted this.

This wasn't reckless. This wasn't stupid. It felt like the only thing I had done right since I had got back home. To show my love.

My back connected with the mattress of the bed and axiomatically felt my self raise my bottom, searching the need of Edward.

"Oh, no,no, no.." He laughed into my mouth as he tried to break away reluctantly. He rested his forehead on mine and caught his breath. "We're not back for that...I mean...I want to kiss you, I want to hold you..." He clarified.

"Don't you want me? Properly?" I asked with desperation seeping out of my words.

"Like you have no idea, Love. But we do this right."

I shook my head defiantly "This is right. Its what we want. It's what we deserve." I promised.

He looked at me a little hesitantly but with those words, he reached down, kissing me again.

The heat grew steady and with it I shed my jacket to the floor. Edwards hands reached below the surface of my top and he gripped at my waist as he continued to pull me in closer to him, our lips never parting.

Rolling me onto his front, I sat up and straddled his waist. I couldn't take being like this any more. I needed to feel his skin against mine.

My fingers trembled as I reached for the buttons of his shirt.

His hands caught mine and my eyes snapped up to him and his attempts to stop me. "We don't have to, Bella. I love you. I'll wait for you."

My eyes dropped but he still held my hands.

"You seem scared. Let me just hold you." He offered and it tugged at all of my heart strings. It hurt quite a bit. Not every guy would sit and go through this. Not every guy would allow themselves to be teased until the brink, until she finally decided, no.

"I'm not scared. Nervous...but not scared. I want you to hold me but most of all I want to show you how much I love and want you." My eyes still never met his but his strong hand lifted my chin up to meet his green.

I started again. "Doesn't this just feel so right to you?" This moment was perfect.

"It does feel right, but just half an hour ago you were telling me, I wasn't your boyfriend. Your a little mixed up an-"

"No, no, no. I know what I said. I was right and I was wrong. You are not my boyfriend, you're my partner, my other half and you're my lover. Just I feel my past is constantly right behind me and its not fair, its not fair on you. You shouldn't have to see the mess I made. You deserve better.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his lulling scent that I loved so much.

"You know that isn't true. You told Rosalie that, only last night. We deserve each other."

"But my past..." I argued. Last night Victoria wasn't standing in front of me, reminding me off all my mess.

"Your past is in the past. So is mine. I've done things I'm not proud of too, Bella, but it doesn't mean I don't get to be happy. If that were the case, the world would be full of miserable bastards."

I shifted on his lap and his grip only grew tighter. He rested his forehead against my chest as I emotionally poured cold water down him.

"Do you still want me?" I asked a little warily. It sounded almost comic.

He looked up to me with a smirk on his lips. "I'll always want you, Bella. There is no one else."

"We'll make love to me then..." I demanded with a hint of humour.

With that, he kissed my lips and pulled me back down onto the bed with him.

We made love – twice.

EPOV

I jumped up with fright as I reached out for her in my bed, but only to find it empty.

It was still dark outside and looking at the clock, it showed it was five o'clock in the morning. "Bella."I called out toward my bedroom door to see if she was still in my apartment.

Reaching for the lamp I flicked on the light and saw that her clothes were gone.

My heart rate increased at the similarity to the situation, last time we had been intimate.

Reaching for my jeans at the other side of the bed, I felt something crumple against my skin. "It was a note."

Thought I'd better leave before I ended up staying forever.

It was a perfect night. Thank you.

I'm sorry I had to leave you, but you know the rules...

And I didn't want to wake you

I love you and I'll call you later.

xx

Lying back down in my bed, I let out a sigh of relief. She was fine. We were going to be okay.

a/n: Happy ending? Or is ther yet more shit to hit the fan?

Leave a little review please and let me know what you though of it!

I'm away for a couple of days but I'll be back to the writing as soon as I get back.