a/n; Oh my holy god. I am so so sorry about the long UD on this. This was kinda a hard chapter to write cos its jumping through time and also, I was just struggling a little. I'm still having some issues with my health and its just not making my brain work right. I hope to have BPOV up soon. Thank you, if you are still with me. It means so much than you realize.
'Cos You're making Me Feel Like I've Never Been Born
EPOV
Two months later.
"Bella. Move the fuck along." I rolled my eyes at the bathroom door and that once again she had beat me to the shower first.
"Come in and join me." She laughed from the other side of the door, the sound of the shower almost drowning out the sweet sound of her voice.
"Don't tempt me - again. I got hell the other day for being late." But the other day, it was her who had joined me in the shower and distracted me.
I really didn't understand her rush to get in the shower so quick in the morning. She started later than me. Her excuse was the she had to go to her dads to make him his breakfast.
She had moved in two weeks ago and every weekday, without fail, she went to her old place to feed her dad.
I couldn't complain – she fed me every morning, first.
I did object to the coddling, but she only ignored me.
"Two more minutes, Sawn. Then I'm coming in." I warned as I shouted to her through the door so she would hear me.
"I'll be waiting, Doctor. I have the soap in my hand and ready for you."
Fuck.
I was never going to make it to work on time if this was her game.
Opening the bathroom door, I rushed to the bath to find Bella standing below the hot flow of water with a wicked grin on her face.
"No." I warned. "Not this morning." We were not having sex.
She pouted comically and a reached behind her, turning the shower off.
Grabbing hold of her, I flung her over my shoulder and she let out a squeal at my actions and another one as I slapped her damp ass that hung in the air, off of my shoulder.
"Now this is a way to wake up in the morning." I tried to hold in my laugh as I grabbed hold of her towel and carried back on to our bedroom.
"Put me down, Edward." She nipped as she grabbed hold of the waist band of my boxers.
So I did. I threw her down on to the mattress in our room.
Her body lightly bounced on the bedding and she lay there splayed out in front of me, wet.
"Not a bad way to wake up at all." I joked as she sat up grabbing at the towel in my hand with a face of thunder.
"I wanted shower sex." She moaned as she rubbed at her soaking hair with the towel.
"You always want sex, you little nymph. I need to get ready for work and keep my job so I can pay my damn mortgage."
She rolled her eyes at me. "You're mum and dad bought you the apartment. "You're a spoilt brat. Don't forget I know it all."
She was right. It had been bought for me. But I still needed a job and to keep the apartment running.
"Besides, I'll be paying rent." She proudly proclaimed.
"Err... I think not." I frowned. What the hell did she need to pay rent for – I never did.
"Err – yes." She snapped.
"Bella, I don't need your money and you already do enough for me since you moved in. I think we're even."
She shuffled up onto her knees and I could see her set on an argument – a naked argument at that. I was never going to get out the damn door at this rate.
"You know what...We'll talk about this later, okay?" I promised sincerely as I turned to leave.
I felt the elastic of my boxers pull and snap against my back once again as Bella tried to keep me with her.
"I still want sex." She complained with another laugh.
Life had never been so bizarre or great since she had moved in. But I really couldn't be late for work again.
"Bella." I called as I made it back through the front door of the apartment after work.
"Through here." She called and I could smell something cook away once again. It smelled delicious.
Entering the lounge, I could see her chop away with a smile on her face as she looked up to me.
"Make it in on time?" She practically purred.
She was wicked. After getting out the shower she accosted me in the closet as I tried to get dressed for work.
"Only just." I told her pointedly but I couldn't keep the humour out my tone. I loved it really.
Moving in together was the best decision ever. We were like horny teenagers – well Bella was a horny teenager - and her sessions with Aro were going better than ever. She was now only seeing him once a week as of last week.
She only smirked at my words and reaching her, I kissed her on the cheek as I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind.
"Did you have a good day?" She was doing well at work and it wasn't really much of a secret now that she had been involved in the hurricane. It was doing good for her to speak about it, despite her struggles.
"Hmmm, so so. Some old bat was in looking for details on the storm." She shivered below me at the thought and my arms only grew tighter.
"What did you say?" I asked carefully.
"Nothing. I was busy. I brushed her off because I was working." She sighed as if it troubled her somewhat. It was the first I had seen her so hesitant for a while.
"Are you okay?" I pushed.
She shook her head before putting down the knife and turning in my arms. "Fine. It's just a little frustrating having to deal with that at work. It's one thing talking to Mike about it, but another having a nosy customer only come in to ask for gory details of how my mom died." She rubbed at her forehead, a little frustrated. "But I'm fine. I just think its rude more than anything else." She shrugged off.
"It is." I agreed. "But don't let it get at you. Talk to me." I pushed.
"Nothing to talk about, Edward. Really. I just want a nice dinner and maybe watch a movie... and maybe a little sumthin' sumthin' after it." She actually winked at me.
"You are insatiable, you do know that?" I laughed.
"Well, I am the town's tramp and you are a hot doctor." She laughed.
"You are not a tramp. Christ, don't ever say that about yourself again." I felt anger at her words even though I knew she was only kidding, but this was just another nasty way of putting herself down. If I let her think that she could joke like that, she would keep doing it and only end up damaging her self confidence more in the long run.
"So serious, Edward." She mumbled as she reached up to kiss me.
"Seriously in love with you." I mumbled back. Now that was something she needed to keep hearing.
She pulled away from my lips and with an eye roll, got back to her chopping.
"What's cooking?" I asked as I peered over her shoulder to see her dice up some basil.
"Spaghetti bolognase. It should be ready soon enough. Go and get a quick shower if you want though." She knew what I wanted, what I always needed. To let the heat soak my muscles.
"Thank you." I gave out in a sing song before I pecked her on her shoulder and headed for a shower.
Bella's head rolled off my shoulder, surprising her sleeping state and waking her back up. I couldn't help but laugh. "Tired?"
She only silently nodded against my shoulder as she let out a yawn.
At that, I turned off the television by the remote control and dragged her up into standing, letting her exhausted body slump into mine.
I was more than tired myself. Last night and today were the most I saw her in the past few weeks. My job was pushing me and it seemed to push me to work more hours too.
It was part of it. It wasn't just a job, it was a way of life and I knew that from my dad's many hours in the hospital, it was just something I had to accept. The thing was, was trying to find the balance. And I was managing okay with that one so far.
The first year was going to be the hardest and I needed to pull my head into my books to keep on studying, because really, I was still learning. I still had assessments to pass.
We reached our bedroom and both silently, stripped to our underwear and Bella looking out a t shirt to wear.
Under the covers, we searched out one another before cuddling in close, looking for heat and comfort. With that, we slept.
Two weeks later I was sitting at the table trying to study.
Work was full of pressure and with an up coming assessment, I had to get my head down and concentrate.
"Could you turn that down, love?" I called across the Bella who was flicking through the television channels at an alarming rate, causing short bursts of noise to come out from the set at every press of the button.
She hummed in response before placing it on mute, the room turning silent as I focused on the books in front of me once again.
Looking at the book I read all about pulmonary hypertension and its symptoms. There was just so much to learn about. I had done the basics in medical school but now looking here and with working at the hospital – it seemed to take on a whole new level. And this was the easy stuff.
Bella let out a small sigh as I heard her stand up and I tried to stay focused on the books.
"Do you want anything to eat?" She asked sombrely.
"Na. I'm good, thanks." I mumbled as I highlighted the the five types of hypertension that could develop. Arterial, Venous, hypoxic, thromboembolic and miscellaneous.
Arterial, Venous, hypoxic, thromboembolic, miscellaneous.
Arterial, Venous, hypoxic, thromboembolic, miscellaneous.
Arterial, Venous, hypoxic, thromboembolic, miscellaneous.
I repeated the words taking them in an there varying symptoms.
"Do you want a drink?" She asked next.
I shook my head at her question, telling her no.
"Edward?" She called out a moment later.
"I'm fine." I gasped as I flicked through the pages on my textbook.
"Are you sure? I'm getting one." She checked again as she rattled around in the fridge and then the cupboards looking for a glass.
"I said I'm fine." I snipped a little. Unintentionally.
"Okay..." She trailed with a small huff.
"Do you need anything?" She enquired quickly.
"Bella." I snapped her name as I turned to look over my shoulder at her.
"You're working hard. You deserve a break." She argued.
Looking back at the books I closed my eyes. "I need to study."
Her soft footsteps made their way to me and before I knew it I felt her hand run through my hair. "You need a break." She argued again.
Looking up to her sweet brown eyes I tried to argue with her. "Bella." I sighed a little worked up at her not taking me seriously.
I really needed to be studying.
"Come on. I'm bored." She smirked at me as she pushed me into the back of my chair, allowing herself to straddle on my knee with her back pressed against the edge of the table. "Entertain me." She challenged with that perfect pout looking to tell me what she wanted.
With that, I tossed the yellow highlighter over her shoulder, letting it land on the book that I should have been studying.
She had won.
"And how can I entertain you tonight?"
Two weeks later
The shrill tone of my alarm blared in my ear indicating it was in fact time for me to get up and head to work. I reached out my arm, silencing the clock as I tried like hell to open my eyes. I was shattered.
Bella shifted towards me in her sleep, silently and unconsciously pulling herself into me. She let out a little content sigh and continued to sleep soundly on my shoulder.
Her warmth and the comfort of the bed was shattering my ability to get up. I wanted to lie here for that little bit longer but I couldn't. I had work to get too.
Slowly but surely I pulled myself away from her and my warm bed and headed in the direction of the shower.
I must have stood there for twenty minutes as I let the warm water fall down on me and tried like hell to keep my eyes open and not to fall asleep on my feet.
Why had I stayed up so late?
Bella.
She was off work today and with her appointment with Aro later this afternoon, she had all the time in the world for sleep today.
She had stayed up watching some Jane Austin movie marathon and I had stayed up with her.
It wasn't that she had asked me to stay up late with her to watch it, it was more the fact that I struggled to pull myself away from her and after being worked so hard and seeing very little of her, I was desperate to be in her company.
Bella stayed in bed and I went without my breakfast that she usually made me. She deserved a lie in, especially since she was due to meet with Aro, but I did miss it. Instead I grabbed an apple on my way out the door as I headed for work.
The day went in slow and the look that my dad gave to me at my constant yawning had me on edge. I just wasn't functioning properly today at all.
"Edward?" My father called on me from behind, startling me.
Turning to face him, I played around with the chart that I held in my hands.
"Late one, was it?" I couldn't even pretend not to know what he was talking about. It was clear that I had spent half the night, staying up.
"Yeh... I got a little carried away with studying." I shrugged as I lied. This wasn't good. Any other intern and he would have a curt word with, but me, this would follow me around for the rest of the week.
All he did was give out some questioning hum, as if he really didn't believe me.
He let it go but I knew he would be back at it later. "So, Mister Dagistino, is he ready to leave?"
I nodded and handed him the chart to sign off on. He glanced through the notes I had made and his brows furrowed forward. "What about his history?" He asked as his eyes met mine.
History?
Shit.
I bluffed. "I didn't think it was needed. Everything was all straight forward."
"Straight forward?" He gritted. "You could have given him something that he was allergic to. You have none of that down here."
Fuck.
"All it is is some antibiotics and there were no side effects to the anaesthetic we gave him to numb the spot on his arm." I pulled on the collar of my shirt feeling that it was choking me.
"Those are the two most important things, Edward. A patients reaction to any of these could be life threatening. You should have asked him." He was really pissed. "Its basic. You should know this. Hell, anyone passing an ER would know this."
"He's fine." I argued knowing it was totally beside the point.
"But he could have died." He argued some more, stressing his point slowly. And a little bit painfully.
"That's a bit dramatic." I argued back, " You're only giving me shit because it's me. Anyone else you would have told them and dropped it." Even I knew that was a huge lie there. But I couldn't help it, I just snapped, tiredness getting to me.
His eyes narrowed on me, his intense blue eyes burning into my green ones. "My office. Now."
Of course, he let me sweat in his office for thirty minutes before he finally came to speak to me.
Walking in, I heard him close the door behind him gently, and before I knew it he was sitting in front of me with the look of frustration written across his face.
"Do you want to tell me what's been going on lately?" His voice an eerie calm.
Lately?
What did he mean, lately?
"Edward this is not the first time you have screwed up in the past few weeks and your results on your last assessment were anything but great. What's going on?" His brow rose and he looked at me as my dad. He was concerned.
I sat there is silence not knowing what to say.
"Is something going on between you and Bella?" He asked carefully.
We were great. We struggled for time and all that, but we were great.
I shook my head answering him. " We struggle of time... but that's life. Isn't it?"
He nodded shyly "I know it's hard going, but it will settle down at the end of the year. You wont have to work so... so hard. I remember what it can be like."
I sighed. "And how did you and mom manage?" They had been together since he had started college and by the time he had started his his intern-ship, they were married.
"Not too great either. But it's one year and we concentrated on that and the fact that it was going to be a struggle. It's still a lot of work for me now, but that first year was the hardest."
"Bella just doesn't see it." I let the words fall out of my mouth without even realizing that they were in my head. But they were, and truthfully, I suspected that they had been in there for the past few weeks.
He nodded at my words. "Bella, well she's had it hard. The past year has been difficult for her but with your help, you made her able to cope with what happened. But you still need to let her see that you need time for yourself." He didn't sound like he even liked what he was saying.
"You know how fond of Bella we are. I would always be there for her if she needed me for anything just like I would be there for you. But you are at different times in your life just now. Bella is feeling lighter after overcoming a tremendous struggle... and well... you're only halfway through yours."
What was he saying? "You think we shouldn't be together?" I gasped utterly dumbfounded.
"No." He told me quickly and firmly " All I'm saying is, that perhaps you need to sit down with Bella and explain that you are struggling too."
"But she's still recovering. I can't tell her that." I bit. It would devastate Bella. I had to concentrate on her. I couldn't have her think that because she wanted to spend time with me that I couldn't do my job.
"Edward, it's about balance." He sighed.
"I have balance." I fought. I was having none of this.
"You just said that she doesn't see it. Well tell her. She is doing great, Edward. She will understand and I'm sure that she will support you-"
"Support me?" I spat. "I'm supporting her."
"That's not how it works. You work together and you talk about it. You'll crumble if you don't offload to her too."
"I-I cant." I stuttered on my words as I thought about any pressure that it would put on her. It just wasn't fair to ask that of her.
He sighed at my determination. "You can't keep this going. You both will fall apart if you do. Listen to me. It took hard work for me and your mother-"
"Exactly. That is a different story." I interrupted. "Bella and I, we're something else and Bella needs me to be there for her."
"Edward." He snapped.
"No dad. No. I do this my way. I need to know that she will be okay. I'll survive my intership and it will be hard, but my main focus is on Bella." It always would be and I just couldn't lie to him.
"Please-" he tried
"No." I argued back. "No. I know what I need to do and I'll do it. I'll still complete my intership but I can't lose my focus on Bella." I promised.
He sat there shaking his head. If he wasn't my father he most likely be ready for firing me – but today he was my father. He was worried and I understood him, but I would cope. I was going to get through this just fine.
Opening the front door I made it inside the apartment and called on Bella.
"I'm in here." She let out a little excitedly from the bedroom. I dropped my folders that I needed to work though for my next assignment and sluggishly, made my way to her. I was shattered and wanted nothing than some food and an early night.
My dad had been a little tougher on me than I imagined after we had left his office. I knew he was only out to prove a point – that I needed to get my head in my books and let Bella tug along on her own for a little, just until I got the bulk of my assessments were out of the way.
Peering around the edge of the door, Bella sorted her hair and looked... breathtaking. "Where are you off too?" I asked, amused with the grin on her face.
"You and I... we are going out to celebrate." She shrugged so nonchalantly.
"What?" I asked more than a little surprised.
Her hair whipped around as she faced me. "Me and you... out on the town, so get dressed, boy." I couldn't go out. One – I was tired, and two – I had to study. I had one hell of an assessment coming up in two days time.
I let out a little sigh at disappointing her. "I can't. I need to study." I told her as gently as I could.
Her face dropped at my words but I knew I had to stay strong on this one, just this one time. I was holding on to my job with the tips for my fingers.
"You don't need to. You need a break." She chimed in as if it really were that easy.
Shaking my head, I knew I had to put my foot down. "No, I have this test in two days and I need to study. You understand, right?" I asked, hopeful.
She stood up and she looked a picture in her obviously newly bought pants and top. Her bottom lip pouted and her eyes filled with unshed tears. "But-but, I thought we could get some food," She shrugged. "Come home and, you know? Be together." her face turned crimson and my gut clenched at being her disappointment.
"I really need to study. Can't we just get take-out and celebrate properly at the weekend?" I was hopeful – but I knew I had just killed our evening.
She rolled her lips and her eyes fell to her hands. I tried again.
"It's only a couple more days, what does it matter if we wait till the weekend?" She gave me a brief look and wiped at a stray tear from the corner of here eye.
What the hell were we celebrating anyway?
I didn't want to ask.
She nodded and turned back into the closet and stripped off her clothes. Her face was heartbreaking, but she would get through it. Right? That's what my dad said.
So the Dreamer is back in town and back in business. I hope you are all still with me and Don't even begin to think that this story is over yet ;)
Thank you for all the ppl that sent me little mails, telling me to get a move on with this, some were frequent, some at the beginning of my little "vacation" and one only last week .Thank you loads. Its nice to know that you care for the story.