Disclaimer: I own nothing. But I hope NCIS is under my christmas tree

Next Week:

Monday:

After a partial week and weekend of torture Tony and Ziva were able to finally able to go back to work. "Oh." Ziva said as she began to try and twist the ring off her finger, as the elevator went up to their floor. "No. You keep it on, it looks better on you." Tony said. She blushed lightly before the elevator PING! They both stepped out and walked toward their desks, "I wonder where my Mother and Aunt went. They weren't there when we left." Ziva whispered. Tony was about to answer when he stopped short as Aunt Nettie walked into the bullpen with Ducky's arm latched in hers. Rivka looked up from her place at Ziva's desk. "Hello Ziva, darling." "Run." Ziva whispered. As they turned to make a quick exit, a deep gruff voice called, "Aye! DiNozzos '" Everybody and everything in the office became quiet. Tony and Ziva slowly turned to face Gibbs who was standing in the middle of the bull pen with Abby and McGee beside him. "Please Lord; let me not go to the light please!" Tony prayed quietly.

"Ima, what are you doing here?" Ziva asked cautiously. Her mother gave her curious look and Ziva sent her an angry message in Hebrew. "Well, your Aunt and I thought it was not a good idea for you to be out somewhere with a gun. So I needed to talk to your boss. I mean Ziva really? In your condition." "What condition?" Gibbs growled. Sadly, Aunt Nettie decided to cut in, "Oh! She didn't tell you? Ziva and Mr. DiNozzo are having a child." Everybody seemed to hold their breath, Ziva bit her lip, Tony waited anxiously for his head slap, and Rivka and Aunt Nettie beamed proudly. "Well Officer DiNozzo." He looked to Tony, "Agent DiNozzo. Let's go discuss paternity and maternity information." "You know I think I'll-." The both started but Gibbs finished for them. "Now." They both threw their backpacks off, before Gibbs grabbed Ziva by the arm tightly. He drug the both up the stairs where all eyes stared before he slammed the door to the director's office. He pointed to couch, "Sit." He commanded. They both sat a cushion away from each other as he walked into the director's office. "We're so dead. I'm glad Ducky's here at least he can examine our bodies." Tony said. Ziva layed her head in her hand and muttered, "I Hate My Mother." "What are you two talking about?" the director's assistant asked. Ziva lifted her head up just a little to glare at her, which sent her back to her own work.

Gibbs swung the door open, "Get Up" he barked. Tony and Ziva immediately got up and followed him into the director's office, where Jenny sat lounging at her desk, smirking. "Agent Gibbs says you have something to tell me, Agent DiNozzo." Tony's eyes sunk to the ground, "Nah, Nah, I don't-." Gibbs slapped him the back of the head with a hard cover book. "Ziva's Pregnant." He blurted out. Now it was Ziva's turn to hit him. "Thanks." She grumbled. "Oh really?" Jenny said sitting up, suddenly very interested. "That's not all. Look at her finger." Gibbs said. Jenny glanced at the ring gleaming in the sunlight on Ziva's finger. "You too married now, too? Did we miss the announcement?" she said, smug. Ziva sighed, "It better d*** not be a boy. Last thing we need in this world is another DiNozzo." Gibbs said, and Tony was shocked, but mostly hurt, "I'm Hurt Boss." See. "I'm not pregnant." Ziva said. "That's not what your family says." "She lied." Tony said grinning. "You lied first." "Did Not!" "Did Too" "Did Not!" They argued back and forth, eventually Gibbs decided to break it up, "Aye! Knock it the both of you sound like a marry-….never the h*** mind." He grumbled. Jenny stifled a laugh. "So what happened?" Tony and Ziva both began talking at the same time; Gibbs slapped Tony again on the head, "Hey! Why don't you slap her?" "Because DiNozzo, I don't know if she's actually pregnant yet." Tony grumbled something under his breath before Gibbs threatened to hit him again. "Ziva You go first." Ziva smirked, "I was on the phone with my Aunt and Tony came and said he was my husband, and then my Aunt became- "Hold the phone." Tony blurted. "She asked me for my help." said Tony said smug. Jenny turned her attention to Tony for a second before she went back to Ziva, "Anyway, she was angry with me because I had not told her I had gotten married." She gritted angrily. "She flew into to see me and my husband, who shouted abuse at her! She brought my mother and my brother, Matthew along as a surprise." "Where's Matthew?" Jenny asked. "Stratford." Ziva answered questioningly. "I believe." Jenny sat back again, "Keep Going." "Well the goof over there them I was pregnant, and yesterday they spent over fifteen thousand dollars on nursery furniture." Gibbs whistled, "Dang DiNozzo, when you mess up. You mess up Big Time." "Don't I get to tell my side of story?" Tony whined. "No" Jenny and Gibbs snapped. "So how are you gonna fix this?"

Tony and Ziva sighed, "We got no friggen' idea." Tony said. "We were gonna say that after they left that I lost the baby, but now they're staying until the baby comes." This time neither adult could hold in the laughter, Jenny & Gibbs erupted in laughter. "It's not funny." Ziva shouted over their hysterics. Jenny whipped a tear from her eye and became, "Serious Jen" again. "Well you got two options. Either a pretend to be pregnant for a little while and then lose the baby." Gibbs out air quotes around lose. "Or." Jenny started. "You could knock her up." The room was silent for about a minute while they weighed their options. "We'll take Number One." They said in unison. "Well" Jenny said grabbing her coat. "If you're pretend to be pregnant, you have to look the part." Ziva looked at her curiously, "What do you mean?" "You'll see" Jenny grabbed her hand began heading toward the door when Gibbs called, "Ziva. If you're pretend to be pregnant, we're gonna treat you like you're pregnant." Ziva was only able to ponder the thought for a second before Jenny pulled her out. Gibbs glared at Tony, "Hey! We're not really married." He piped up. "You buy her a ring, you're married."

"Where are we going Jenny?" Ziva said as she finally came to a stop in front of store marked, Mother Hood.

Ziva sighed, "Not you too Jen, this imaginary child already-." Jen hushed her, and looked over Ziva's body. "Baggy Clothes. Good." Jen said as she walked into the store, where Maternity clothing was hanging everywhere. "What are you talking about?" Ziva said. "Ziva think. If you you're supposed to be pregnant you have to look pregnant." A bald man walked up to them with a name tag that said, "Hi. My Name is Larry."

Jenny flashed her badge at him, "I'm NCIS Director. Jennifer Shepard." She gestured to Ziva, "This is Liaison Officer Ziva David from Mossad." Larry's eyes bulged, "W-what can I help you with?" He stuttered. "We currently have an investigation going about daycares. So Agent David must go undercover as a mother." "What does that have to do with us?" Larry asked terrified. "We need items, that will make her look more believe able." Larry nodded understandingly. "Alright. I can do that. Just wait over there by the dressing room." With that Larry quickly went around the store gathering items while Jen and Ziva headed over to the dressing rooms. "I'm the director of NCIS" Ziva mocked. Jenny shot her a look," Look. I'm helping you." Jen said sternly. "Sorry." Ziva admitted. Larry came over and handed then bundles of items before scurrying. The dressing room they were in was quite large, for a well…. Dressing room. Jenny tossed Ziva a small white cushion that had a strap going along the back. "What is this?" Ziva asked handling the object carefully. "It's a…you, know, stomach" Jenny said as she took a seat on the couch. "Oh h*** no" Ziva said as she threw it to Jen. Jen tossed it back to her, "You wanna have World War Three?" Jenny said. Ziva rolled her eyes before she held the stomach to her own. She lifted her shirt and strapped it on and pressed her shirt down to fit it. "I got a bad feeling about this." Ziva muttered. Jenny tossed her a jet shirt which she threw on casually. She smoothed the area around her stomach, Jenny came up behind her, "You know, give or take you'd make a pretty good pregnant woman." Ziva smiled, gently. "Let's just hope I can fake it." She said. Eventually, they bought a total of ten black and blue, nine whites, and five yellow shirts. And a few pairs of pants, and 2 stomachs before handing Larry two one hundred dollar bills. "NCIS. Appreciates You." Jenny said sweetly. "Guys are such suckers, they'll fall for anything." Ziva said as they put the stuff in the trunk. "Isn't that how you got in this mess in the first place?"

Tuesday:

"GEAR UP!" Gibbs shouted into the bull pen. Ziva looked up at Gibbs from her paperwork. "Tony and McGee are already downstairs waiting for you." She sighed. Desk Work. Desk Work is what Pregnant Agents get, when not on Maternity Leave, and she hated it. "You can come" Gibbs shrugged. Ziva grabbed

Her bag, "After you have that baby." He chuckled. Ziva threw one of Tony's paper balls at him. "If this thing wasn't here I would do kick you in the face" she growled. Gibbs lightly patted her stomach, "This thing is your baby." Ziva rolled her eyes as he left the bull pen. She sat back in her chair obviously bored, she gently ran her hands over her stomach, "I hate Tony." She grumbled before starting to attempt to finish the paperwork. After a while, seeing as Jen was talking to the leader of Asia. That only left one person, Abby. Who was still mad after for leaving her out. "It's gonna be a long day."

When she finally made it down to Abby's lab. (it was a long way from the bathroom.) Her music was blared up extremely loud. "Abby!" Ziva shouted over the music, she glanced back at her for a second before turning the music up louder. "Abby." She said again louder. Ziva knew in order to get Abby's attention she needed something to make her angry, something that would Abby wanna hit her, when it came to her. "Abby, this loud music is not well for the baby." She said leaning against the edge of the evidence table, rubbing her "stomach" smugly. Abby turned around, and glared at her, she hit the silent button on the remote. "WHAT THE H*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?" she yelled. "I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND? I GUESS NOT! I MEAN HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU AND TONY GOT MARRIED? AND YOU WERE PREGNANT? NO I HAD TO LEARN THAT FROM MCGEE-." "What do you mean McGee" Ziva cut in. "HE SAW YOU AND TONY AT SOME BABY STORE! I MEAN, COME ON" Abby breathed. "Are you done Abby?" Ziva asked, and she nodded. "First of all, Tony and I are not married. This is only a show for my family, because Tony said he was my husband and well it's a long story." Abby looked at her dumbfounded. "Yes." Ziva said. "So nothing is true?" Abby said. Ziva shook her head, and Abby hugged her tightly. "I'm Sorry; I mean I should have asked you first." "It's fine Abby. Really just could you, you know let me go. This stomach is not all that comfortable." Abby quickly let go, and pointed to her stomach. The shirt she had on today was a chocolate brown, and a scoop neck, the stomach made her look as if she gained a few pounds, but not pregnant at least. "This is not real." "I'll let you decided on that one." Ziva grinned. Abby hopped up and down, "Oh Please! Can I try it on?" Ziva shook her head, "Until I confess to my family I must wear this. Jen and Gibbs are watching me." Ziva said as she leaned against the evidence table. "H*** yeah." Gibbs said as he walked into Abby's lab carrying a coffee. "You finish with your paperwork DiNozzo?" Ziva rolled her eyes. "Paperwork is not good for Pregnant Women Gibbs."

Wednesday:

"I'm telling you the wife did it" Tony argued as He, Ziva, and McGee were in the bullpen the next day trying to compile a list of suspects. "Just because he was married does not mean the wife automatically did it." "Uh, yeah, sweet cheeks it does." Tony said. "So if I were to kill you, I would be a prime suspect?" Tony nodded, "Pretty Much." Ziva set her hand in the pouch of her Navy Blue and white hoodie. "Noted." She added. McGee being the only one besides Palmer had not been told Ziva was not really pregnant, so he was very afraid of Ziva, he would do whatever she said, whenever. And everybody made sure to not tell him for pregnant or not, Ziva would kill them for ruining her fun. "McGoo. What do you have to say?". McGee snapped up from his daydreaming, he stuttered, "I-uh think that uh-." "Spit it out." Tony said angrily.

McGee's eyes drifted down to Ziva's stomach where she almost cradling it, slightly. Tony snapped his finger's in front of his face, "McGoo! Come on! Stop being distracted, get over it Zi and I are married." He pulled up Ziva's hand to show him the diamond, "And we're having a baby." He pulled her face to his, cheek-to cheek grinning. "And in 8 months we'll have a new DiNozzo running around." McGee looked as if he was about to faint, Ziva smiled slightly, "I think we should tell him Tony." Tony threw his hands down, "Okay! Twins!" McGee's face lost all color, and he soon ran from the bull pen in the direction of the men's room. Tony draped his arm around Ziva's shoulder, and lightly kissed her cheek. "I love my Job." A hard SMACK across the back of his head sent his smile flying. He received two more before he asked, "What was that for?" "Knocking Up one of my best agents, breaking rule twelve, and sending McGee to the restroom terrified." Gibbs said. "Well McGee needs a stronger set of-." "Tony" Ziva warned. "I was gonna say stomach."

Thursday:

Tony handed her a long silver box. She looked up at him, suspiciously. "What is this?" she asked. "Well, I heard it was your birthday yesterday. So I uh got you something." He said quietly. She slowly opened the case a long silver chain with two hearts spilt in half, both horizontal to each other. The first heart had, "Love" written in by the flow of the metal then "and" sign tied the hearts together. And "War" was on the other half.

Ziva looked up at him, with tears threating to fall down her cheeks. He blew in her eyes, causing a few tears to fall. "What was that for?" she asked, grinning and wiping away the tears. "I wanted to see you cry. Happy Tears, I've never seen those on you before." He said. She leaned over and hugged him, "Thank You, my little furry bear." Tony gently patted her stomach, "That will be our little furry bear." Ziva rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She said. "Come on before your mom gets on me about having a pregnant woman up at midnight." Tony said. He helped her in before climbing in himself, next to her. The rain poured down on her windows, the droplets falling soothingly. Ziva climbed over and layed her head on his chest, and stared at the streaks. Tony wrapped his arms around her. The stomach the only thing separating their lips from touching.

Friday:

Everybody was thankful for Friday, that meant that they could Saturday off, they hoped. Today Ziva felt as she as if she was in an amusement park. She felt as dizzy like she spinning in a never ending circle. The highest and fastest rollercoaster on the team could not compete with her nausea, and she was simply just tired. Her head rested on her desk her hands folded on top. The sound of a cup being lightly set on her desk caused her to look; Jenny was standing in front of her, smirking. "I hate you." She muttered. Jenny bent down next to her, "You look like h***." "I feel like it." Ziva said as she massaged the back of her head.

"Then why don't you go home let your family take care of you." Jenny said, Ziva looked up again and gave a slight laugh, "H*** No." Jenny gently rubbed her back, "Can I take this thing off now?" Ziva groaned.

Jenny shook her head, "You tell your family yet?" Ziva swatted Jenny's hand away, "You annoy me." She grumbled. Ziva sat up and rubbed her temples, "I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom." She stood up, too fast and landed back on the edge of her desk.

"Are you okay?" Jenny asked as she gripped Ziva's shoulder. "Yeah, but a little Dizzy and light headed." Ziva said trying to stand again but Jenny pushed her down. "And you look a little green." Ziva looked down at her hand, "My skin tone is perfectly normal." She said. "Looking green doesn't actual mean you're green, you look like you're gonna throw up." Jenny explained, and Ziva nodded. "Oh. Can I go now?" she asked.

Jenny looked at her with imploring eyes, "What?" Ziva inquired. "I think you're pregnant." Jenny finally said.

Ziva rolled her eyes, "Oh Please." She said, and with great effort walked toward the bathroom. Tony bounded into the bull pen just as the door to the women's restroom closed. He stopped by Ziva's desk where Jenny was sitting on the edge.

"Hey Jen, you seen Ziva. She said she was craving a twenty." Tony said holding up a single, crisp, twenty dollar bill. "She went the head. Agent DiNozzo. But I'll give it to her." Jen said as swiftly took the bill from him, "Make sure she gets all of it." Tony said. Jenny smirked before shooing Tony out of the bull pen.

Abby soon bounced into the bull pen, "D*** you guess get a lot of visitors." Jenny said under her breath.

"Hey Jen!" she called. "Hello Abby." "Where's Ziva?" Abby asked as she set a stack of papers on Gibbs's desk. "In denial." "In denial for what?" "I think she's really pregnant." Jenny said going through the papers scattered on Ziva's desk. Abby looked at her curiously, "You serious?" Jenny nodded. Abby shrugged, "Let's find out."

Ziva set the "stomach" on the counter, before she went into the stall. "This is ridiculous." She said when she was finished. As she flushed the toilet she heard the door to women's restroom open and lock. She slowly opened the stall door where Abby and Jenny were leaning against the sink. "Tisk. Tisk." Jenny said as held the thing by the strap. Ziva rolled her eyes, "You try wearing that thing all the time" she said as she turned the sink on and started washing her hands. "I would but I'm not pregnant, either way." Ziva looked back at them through the mirror. "I'm not pregnant, Jen. You have to you, known, to do something in order to, become pregnant." Abby grinned, "So you and Tony haven't you know?" Abby asked. Ziva thought for a minute, "No." "You're lying." Abby said, grinning. Ziva looked at her dazed, "What are you talking about?"

"When McGee told me that you were pregnant, I called you and you're mom said you were busy." Abby said putting air quotes around busy. Ziva looked at her blankly, and Jenny waved her hand in front of Ziva's face. "Ziva. Ziva, are you there?" Jenny said. Ziva blinked a few times, "Yeah. One Time." Ziva said quietly. Jenny handed her a pregnancy test from her bag, "You're evil." Ziva muttered. Jenny bowed, "Thank You." As Ziva went into the stall, Abby picked up the stomach and strapped it onto herself. "Ziva this doesn't feel that bad." She said. "Not when you have to wear that thing all day and all night, because you're afraid your mother will see you." Ziva called. Abby tore the stomach off and set it on the counter, "Maybe you should just tell them." Abby said. Ziva came out of the stall and set the test on the counter, and washed her hands again. "If I told them, I would never hear the end of it. D*** Tony." "Speaking of Tony." Jen said as she handed Ziva the bill. "How do you crave money?" Abby asked, smiling.

"The only good thing about this thing is that, I get whatever I want. When I want." This brought a huge grin to Ziva's face. "So you could ask for a shiny new corvette and he'd have to get it for you?" Abby asked. "Unless he wants my aunt to use her dentures and bite him." As Ziva was struggling to strap the stomach back on, the pregnancy test beep three times. Abby picked it up for her. "Congratulations."