Evangelion: X-Treme Measures
Chapter 3: Merc with a Mouth
"DIG IN!" Misato cheered to her table mates at the steak house they were at. The people around the newly appointed major cheered and started to enjoy their meals.
"Thanks for the dinner Misato." Shinji said shyly.
"Yeah thanks Misato!" Asuka said tearing ravenously into her steak. She was only rivaled by Fred Dukes in her enjoyment of the red meat.
"No problem you guys! Just giving you guys a reward for a job well done.
It was just after the latest Angel attack. This one had attempted to destroy NERV with some sort of kamikaze dive straight into Tokyo-3. The pilots had used their Evangelions to 'catch' the invader by using their AT-Fields. Everyone was ecstatic about the pilots success. Although Misato would have gone bankrupt with this dinner had she not had the help of three mutant bodyguards.
She turned to Zero, Wade, and John Wraith.
Thank You! Misato mouthed to the three men.
"Not a problem Miss Katsuragi. It's a pleasure to reward the kids who are gonna save out ass's (1)." Said Wade chewing an a french fry.
"Plus, just consider 'dis a substitute for not invitin' us to your promotion party." John Wraith told her picking at his salad.
"Yeah but how can you guys help me as much as you did? Weapon X pay better than NERV?" Misato asked wondering how they were paying for the whole meal, while she was pretty much covering the tip.
"Nope, Stryker pays for pretty much everything we do." Zero said after swallowing a piece of steak.
"Plus. We have his credit card number!" Wade said in a loud whisper.
Misato laughed while Zero glared before also succumbing to the laughter at the table.
"Besides we figured we should pay for the dinner since someone is eating three!" John said glancing at Fred. Fred caught the glance while chewing on a huge mouthful of steak.
"What?" He said with his mouth full.
Wraith just shook his head.
"Plus with Rei just eating salad." Bradley motioned toward the blue haired pilot.
"Yeah Wonder Girl! I thought you said you 'Don't enjoy eating meat'?" Asuka asked the girl next to her while she gnawed on a chunk of meat (2).
"Mr. North said it would be respectful to join you." Rei said without looking at the German. Misato glanced at the Korean.
"The teams the first thing. Personal stuff second. Zero said munching on a fry. He then glanced to the side of the table where a guest seemed to have joined them.
"Well look who we have here. The Earth's saviors and their bodyguards. Room for four more?" Kaji said followed by Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari.
"KAJI!!!" Both Misato and Asuka yelled at the same time. Asuka because she was trying to make sure her dreamboat hadn't seen her over zealous eating of beef, and Misato for her hope of not running into her former lover for ten minutes being dashed.
"I just thought the pilots would like their friends to be around them for a victory celebration." Kaji said with his best grin.
"Well actually Kaji, the guys are paying for this and we're already taking up enough of their paychecks." Misato said panicking, trying to come up with an excuse to get rid of the unshaven spy.
"NONSENSE! Any reason to spend Stryker's money is a reason to party!" Wade said scooting another table next to the one they were already using to accommodate the new arrivals.
"WADE!" Misato growled through gritted teeth.
"Perfect!" Kaji said excitedly as he and the other kids got seated.
"So Major Katsuragi? Who are you seeing out of these gentlemen?" Kaji said jokingly.
"WHAT!?" Misato said insulted. In truth every time Kaji, a person who she actually held in high regard, said something along those line, she felt as if he were calling her a slut.
"What? Can't an old friend come and enjoy your company Major?" The spy said, sensing her tension.
"Only when your quiet Kaji." Misato said, her voice seething with anger.
"Oh come on now, can't I compliment the most beautiful woman in Tokyo-3?" Kaji said trying to worm his way into Misato pants.(3)
"Sorry to correct you pal. But my woman's the hottest woman on the planet." Wade said sticking out his chest in pride.
"You really like Ritz don't you Wade?" Misato said smiling at the man, both for possibly getting her friend out of her depression and for changing the subject away from her.
"I would if she'd pay attention to me! WAH!" Wade said with little anime tears in his eyes(4).
"Oh just give her time. Ritsuko always like taking it slow in college." Misato said smiling at the swordsman.
"I SHALL NEVER GIVE UP!" Wade said comically.
Meanwhile at NERV
Ritsuko was sitting at her desk, going over the repairs that would have to be done to Unit-1 when suddenly her phone rang.
"Hello, Dr. Akagi speaking." Ritsuko answered.
-Akagi-
"Commander!" The blonde said in shock.
-As you know I'm returning to Japan tomorrow afternoon. I was wondering if you would be at my home for dinner tomorrow evening.-
Ritsuko wanted to say no, she wanted to refuse. But something in her mind always said that she would never have anything better than this.
"Of course commander."
Two days later
Wade, our resident maniac, was walking around the NERV underground base. It was his day off of baby sitting duty for the pilots so he was getting himself acquainted with the extensive base, just incase.
Suddenly he heard a strange noise.
Is that crying? He thought looking around for the source of the sound.
He followed his ear to a nearby door. He recognized the door as leading to Ritsuko's lab.
Someone crying in Dr. Hottie's lab? Wade thought putting his ear to the door.
He tried to open the door but found it locked.
"HA! No lock can stop the force of a well placed katana!" Wade exclaimed, while jabbing his sword into the counsel next to the door. He quietly slide the door open. He snuck into the lab and close the door stealthily. He snuck towards the sound of sobbing. What he found was a mop of blonde hair, face down on her crossed arms, sobbing heavily. Wade approached cautiously.
"Ritsuko?" He asked worried.
The blonde doctor sat up at her desk quickly.
"Wade!?" She asked, giving Wade a good look at her tear stained cheeks, her red, stuffy eyes, and the bruise underneath her eye.
"Who hit you?" Wade asked kneeling down to her level to get a look at her bruise. She panicked and pulled away from him.
"I-it's nothing Wade! Just an accident." She said trying to make him leave.
"Oh your crying about an accident? That's a few hours old." Wade said seeing that the wound was new but not fresh. Wade was trying to get a hold of her hands so he could examine the wound.
"Stop struggling, damn it!" Wade said having a hold of one wrist.
"Wade go away! You can't help me!"Ritsuko said trying to push his hand away from her wrist allowing Wade to grab her other one.
"Thank you! Now let me see that bruise." Wade said getting closer to her face to get a better look.
Ritsuko deciding that she couldn't avoid this, looked over her recent suitor.
He was very toned and muscular.
Probably from all that fighting. Ritsuko inferred.
He always wore a tank top allowing everyone to see his powerful arms.
Ritsuko moved her observations up to his face. He had luscious brown hair that was usually spiked. His tanned skin was flawless, no scars or defects. Not even a scratch from shaving it seemed. His chocolate brown eyes were unwavering in his observations of her bruise.
"Alright. Who's the dead man who slugged you?" Wade said standing up and looking down at the scientist.
"You can't help me Wade drop it." Ritsuko said wiping away her remaining tears.
Wade looked at the scientist for the hundredth time since he had seen her. Pale, smooth skin. Blonde, soft, shoulder length hair. Beautiful, sharp, green eyes that put fear into her subordinates. Her wonderful bust that Wade stared at when she used big words.
"Let me be the judge of that. Tell me." He said crossing his hand over his chest.
"No." Ritsuko said crossing her hands over her chest. To Wade she was looking like a small child.
"Now." Wade said getting in her face. Ritsuko decided to just say it and hope he wasn't crazy enough to do anything.
"It was the commander." Ritsuko said plainly.
Wade stared at her incredulously.
"You are the dumbest smartest chick ever." Wade said almost seriously.
"What?" Ritsuko said with a raised eyebrow.
"You could get anybody in this base with that body and you go after the Grim Reaper?" Wade said making a face at the mention of Gendo.
"I know I'm stupid for going with him, but I think your over exaggerating about my body. No body has asked me out in a while." Ritsuko said somberly.
"Well maybe if you smiled once in a while people wouldn't be so intimidated." Wade said smiling at the bottle blonde.
"Not easy to smile at people now a days." Ritsuko said remembering what she was doing to the world in secret.
"I smile all the time. And I kill people!" Wade said with a gleam of insanity in his eye.
"Well your you and I'm me." Ritsuko said trying to hide a smile from the mercenary.
"If I was you I'd wear skimpy outfit's everywhere!" Wade told her.
Ritsuko tried to stifle a laugh. Anybody else had said that, she would be royally pissed but something about Wade made everybody like him somehow, no matter how much shit he talked.
"And look at myself naked!" Wade added.
"WADE!" Ritsuko laughed out loud.
"Hey you started it!" Wade said, pointing a finger at her.
"Now if you excuse me." Wade said heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" Ritsuko said calming down from the laughing fit she had.
"To go tell the whole team about the commander and then spread horrible rumors about him." Wade said looking over his shoulder at her before leaving.
Ritsuko shook her head and smiled at the antics of the man. She had no idea in two days time everybody would look at the commander and giggle, imagining Gendo wearing long silk gowns when at home. As stated by one- Wade Wilson.
Author's Notes: Yeah I finally updated my story!!! Alright First some thanks.
Cylon One: Thanks for your reviews and your list of mistakes I had made. You pointed some out I had seen before and ones I hadn't noticed. I want my stories to have the least amount of mistakes I can have.
Next some Chapter Notes
1: I have no idea if that's how you spell the plural form of ass. But I tried.
2: I have never written the word 'meat' this much before.
3: I. Do. Not. Like. Kaji. Deal with it.
4: I don't actually watch a lot of anime when you add in all the shows I watch. But when ever the little anime tears come in I have no idea why but I laugh.
Alright I made some progress with the Wade/Ritsuko story in this chapter and some more casual interaction between the pilots and Team X.
I also mentioned my first Angel battle. I didn't put it in this chapter because I want to make Team X help out in the battles and I had no idea how I could make them help out in that one. Wait till next one!
For those wondering where's Wolverine?
Wait till next chapter!
I know the next chapter will be big!
I promise.
I hope some people like this chapter and my story.
And now OMAKE!!!!
Omake 1:
"Now if you excuse me." Wade said heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" Ritsuko said calming down from the laughing fit she had.
"To go tell the whole team about the commander and then spread horrible rumors about him." Wade said looking over his shoulder at her before leaving.
"Like what?" The bottle blonde asked.
"I don't know." Wade said turning on his heel to face her again.
"Maybe something about him taking it in the ass." He said.
"How did you know we did t-" Ritsuko put her hand over mouth when she realized the situation.
Wade stared at her wide eyed. Before running over and kneeling.
"MARRY ME!" He said holding her hand.
Omake 2:
"Now if you excuse me." Wade said heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" Ritsuko said calming down from the laughing fit she had.
"To go tell the whole team about the commander and then make him pay for hitting you." Wade said looking over his shoulder at her before leaving.
"Like how?" Ritsuko asked.
"You'll see." He answered slowly.
A Week Later
Gendo Ikari was sitting in his office doing what little paperwork he actually had to do, when he suddenly heard a commotion coming from outside his office. Including gunfire.
Gendo waited for the sound to stop, knowing that his Section-2 unit were well trained. When the noise of the fight stopped he approached the door slowly.
When he was a few feet away the door swung open! There stood a man with a think, square jaw. Slicked back, black hair. Dressed in black battle armor, with a skull painted on his chest.
"Gendo Ikari." The man's thick gravely voice said with danger.
The once intimidating commander was trembling like a little boy.
"T-the P-p-punisher!" The man squeaked like a bitch.
"Right in one." Frank Castle said before unloading a whole clip on the deserving, evil man.
After the deed was done The Punisher turned and stepped over the dead bodies of Section-2 agents, walking out of the hidden base.
Several miles away a certain sword swinging mad man was laughing maniacally to himself.
Omake 3:
"Now if you excuse me." Wade said heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" Ritsuko said calming down from the laughing fit she had.
"To go tell the whole team about the commander and then make him pay for hitting you." Wade said looking over his shoulder at her before leaving.
"Like how?" Ritsuko asked.
"You'll see." He answered slowly.
A Week Later
Gendo Ikari was sitting in his office doing what little paperwork he actually had to do, when suddenly a soul-searing maniacal laugh surged through the halls of NERV.
The evil man shook in his seat, reaching for his gun under his desk.
Just as he had it placed on his desk the door literally flew off the hinges and fell to the floor with a boom. In walked in what looked like vengeance itself. A creature with a flaming skull for a head, clad in black biker gear walked in to the office and stopped about six feet from the desk of the scared little man.
"W-w-who are you?" Gendo asked trembling.
The creatures response was to put his right foot forward and point a bony, flaming, demon finger at him.
"Guilty" It said. The creature closed the distance between them, ignoring the bullets bouncing off him, and grabbed the cowering man by the collar before slamming him against the wall with such force the man nearly blacked out.
"Your soul is stained with the blood of the innocent. FEEL THEIR PAIN!!!!!!!" The creature said staring Gendo in the eyes.
The halls of NERV were filled with the commander's screams of anguish.
Several miles away a spiky haired swordsmen commented to no one in particular.
"You'd be surprised how many ads you can find on Craigslist."