This is probably my last chapter before christmas (tomorrow!) But anyway, here you go.
Peace on Earth and More Kicking (in the Arse)
"James, James? Are you alright?" Rivka said as she lightly placed a damp cloth on Jimmy's fore head, while they other's stood back, all stifling laughs. Rivka looked up at them with a glare, almost identical to Ziva's. "What is so funny about your friend fainting?" she snapped, and their grins dropped. The timer on the oven DING! and Tony went over and took the chicken from the oven. "Tony DiNozzo? Can cook?" Abby asked, sarcastically. Tony nodded, proud fully "Yes, I can." "You are more concerned about a chicken, than your friend." "Well, I have a reason." Ziva said, self-righteously. "I must eat for two." Rivka rolled her eyes at her daughter, "Ziva-leh." "It's okay Mrs. David; he does this all day long." Abby said. Rivka looked down at Jimmy, "Oh." Rivka laid the cloth back down on his head, before getting up and checking on the chicken. "What would you like to drink, you two?" Rivka asked casually, forgetting about the half dead man in the middle of her daughter's living room. "Water's fine." Jenny answered, while Abby set her Caf-Pow on the table. Rivka nodded and handed Jenny a glass of water. Ziva turned on the TV, trying to fill the silence.
"Hey Zi, where'd we put the seasoning for the chicken?" Tony asked, not knowing where anything was. Ziva grinned and got up to the nearest cabinet, (Behind Tony.) and handed him a jar of Chicken Seasoning.
Tony mocked a laugh, "Ha. Ha." "Oh, look. Such an adorable baby." Abby exclaimed, and everybody turned to look at the TV. A commercial with many sleeping babies, at the end a rotating earth spun around as, "Peace on Earth" stayed onto the screen. Rivka lightly stroke Ziva's stomach. "Your baby will be just as beautiful, don't worry." Rivka said before turning to help Tony get his hand out of the chicken. Ziva nodded, a little awkwardly as Jimmy began coming back to his senses. He sat up, and looked around, "What the h*** happened?" he muttered. "Oh! You fainted after you found out Ziva and I were married and having twin boys." Tony called across the room, and Jimmy threatened to faint before Abby helped him stand.
"You serious?" he asked stunned. Tony grinned, "Of Course." Jimmy nodded, absent-mindedly. Tony pulled his hand out forcefully from the chicken, and jumped up triumphantly. "Finally!" "So, uh, when are Gibbs and McGee getting here?" "Already here." A gruff voice answered, Ziva spun around where Gibbs and McGee was standing in her door frame. "How the h*** do you do that?" Ziva asked, and Rivka smacked her hand, "ووتش لغتك Watch your language." Rivka snapped in Arabic, and Ziva answered something back with more anger. Rivka grabbed Ziva's chin and muttered something under her breath, and Ziva nodded solemnly. Gibbs and McGee took their seats on the couch, and Ziva snatched her chin our of Rivka's grip. "Finish the Case?" Ziva asked turning her back to her mother and focusing on her new visitors. "Finished, Checked, and Sent Away." Gibbs said smugly, "But it would have gotten done sooner if your Aunt hadn't stolen away my medical examiner." Ziva raised her arms in defeat, "I had no intention of that, which was all on Tony." Ziva blamed, and Tony's head snapped up quickly. "What!" he shouted. "I was asleep." Ziva said smugly.
"Boss, I had no idea that was happening." Tony explained, as Ducky and Aunt Nettie walked into the apartment laughing. "Ziva-leh, your friend Ducky is hilarious." Aunt Nettie said, breathless. "I smell Nucky love" Tony whispered in Ziva's ear, and Ziva smiled slightly before swatting him away. "Ziva why don't you show them the nursery." Rivka pushed, and Ziva hesitantly got up and had them follow her into the nursery with Ducky and Aunt Nettie staying behind chatting softly. "You didn't wanna see Duck?" Tony asked, and Ducky looked over at him. "What? No, dear boy. But I do have something for you." Ducky came over and handed Tony a bright red bag, and he opened it and pulled out a white teddy bear with a red and white Scottish uniform and a pair of bagpipes. "Thanks Duck." Tony said cautiously, and carried it into the nursery.
"What is that?" Ziva asked as Tony set it on one of the shelves. "From Ducky." Tony stated simply. "Okay."
So, after twenty one plates about two for each person, (three for Ziva.) everybody was starting to head home and most tried to stay away from baby topics but Rivka mostly always drove it back. "Abigail? Did you know the meaning of you name is Father in rejoicing? Ziva your child must have a name just like hers, it must mean the truth like yours it means radiance." Ziva groaned quietly before putting her head in her hands.
"Thanks for a very entertaining night." Jenny said as she hugged Ziva. "No problem." Gibbs decided to drive Jenny home which raised some eyebrows, mostly Tony's. "Hmmmm, you may not be the only one expecting." Tony whispered in Ziva's ear once Gibbs and Jenny had left, and Ziva tried hard to not to laugh but it was very difficult.
"What's so funny?" Abby asked as she shrugged on her coat. "Nothing. Nothing." Ziva said shaking her head, laughing quietly. Once Abby and McGee had left together with Palmer, Ziva warned Tony not to make a comment if he wanted to live through the night. Ducky had to nearly be force out of the house, since he and Aunt Nettie were having such a wonderful conversation on something unknown to everyone else.
"We shall chat tomorrow Donald!" Aunt Nettie called out the door as Ziva and Tony were washing some of the dishes. "Ziva-leh, I wonder why your pregnancy is so different from mine." Rivka asked curiously just as Ziva hand came to brush the handle of a knife.
"I do not know, mother." She said through gritted teeth and gripped the knife handle. "By this time, I was not that big, but my back was hurting most of the time, and from what your father told me, I was having mood swings most of the time." Rivka said as she turned around to help Aunt Nettie with the rug by the door, while their backs were turned Ziva brought the knife a few inches away from her neck. "You wanna do it or should I" she whispered to Tony, before he quickly took the knife away from her. "Tony!" she whispered fiercely. "You are not leaving me alone with them" he said angrily as he gripped her shoulders.
Ziva kicked him in the shins before he fell to the ground, pulling her down with him, laughing. "I will not be alone." She mocked him happily. Aunt Nettie and Rivka hurried over and peered over the snack bar area of her kitchen, down at them. Ziva gripped Tony's neck, forcefully. "If I could I would kill you." "They've started." Rivka whispered, before she and Aunt Nettie retreated to the bedroom. "Think they bought it?" Tony whispered. "Let's make sure." Ziva said standing up and grabbing the knife laying on the counter. Tony's eyes bulged, "Ziva! NO!" The knife flew down with precise incision in the carpet below Tony's "Little Men."
Tony sighed loudly, "Thank God." Ziva leaned down and whispered in his ear, "You think I would miss on purpose? I don't think so." Tony scrambled up, terrified. "What?" Ziva asked suspiciously. "You're crazy!" Tony muttered. "Oh this is gonna be fun" Ziva whispered, as she threw a plate from the sink. Tony jumped up, dodging the plate as it clattered it to the floor. More plates fell and crashed, and more of Tony's screams erupted louder and louder by every one. "Bite Me!" Ziva screamed, as she threw the last plate, it did not break however; it just clattered to the floor. Tony slowly picked the plate up, and set it down on the counter. "Ziva, calm down, I pretty sure they bought it." Tony said calmly. "Just for good measure." She cracked the plate against Tony's head before he passed out on his arse.
Love it? Hate it? Any reviews are welcome, but I do need them.