Christmassy, Vitamin C, and Double D's:
"That was totally unnecessary." Tony grumbled as he placed a bag of frozen peas to the back of his head and Ziva smirked, "It was your idea, Tony." Tony rolled his eyes at her as she sauntered past him. "I think I even lost a few IQ points!" he complained. "Like you had many left." Ziva muttered under her breath as she fixed the pillows on the bed. "Excuse Me?" Tony asked, offended. Ziva glared back at him, "You are very much excused." Tony slammed the ice pack down from counter and made his way over to her, "Look." He growled low so only she could hear. "You asked mefor myhelp. You don't like it, to the hell bad. You got yourself in this, you get yourself out." He hissed before grabbing his jacket and storming out. "Fine!" Ziva shouted. "Iwill." Even though it was a few small tears, Ziva refused to let them fall. She heard the door to her bedroom open but before the person could respond she growled back, "Not. Now. Mother." Ziva glared at the door for what seemed to be an eternity before someone placed a blanket on her shoulders. She only glanced back slightly as her mother gave her a sympathetic look, before going back into the bedroom.
"Did I tell you or what?" Aunt Nettie hissed. Rivka nodded gently, "You did say that." "I told you that boy was trouble, I told you. He was a nuisance; He pays no attention to that child on the way." Aunt Nettie sighed, "Ziva has made a horrible mistake." Rivka glanced over at the door, "I think she knows." Rivka murmured.
Tony slammed his car door shut and sped out of Ziva's driveway. About half an hour later of driving he realized he had no idea where he was going. He finally decided to go to the one place where he could talk to someone who may listen. He swung into Gibbs's driveway and quietly shut his car door. He opened Gibbs's front door which was always unlocked. He stepped inside, and walked down into the basement. "What'd you do now?" Gibbs asked as he sanded the exterior of his boat. "Starting a new one?" Tony asked as he walked down the stairs. "You didn't answer my question." Gibbs stated, "You didn't answer mine." Tony sat backwards on a chair so he was facing Gibbs. "Ziva had a little temper tantrum I guess and I kinda got mad at her when she hit me in the head with a dish and I yelled at her a little bit and left." He stated casually before taking a sip of the bourbon sitting on the counter beside him. "What do you mean temper tantrum?" "Well her freakin' mother was like Ziva why don't you ever have mood swings like me?" Tony said as he butchered his mocking tone of Rivka. "Then she went all crazy and crap, she nearly killed my little men down there and broke nearly every plate in the sink." Gibbs stifled a laugh as he set the sander down on the bench.
"She's the mother of your child DiNozzo." Tony looked up at Gibbs and gave him a look, "Metaphorically." Gibbs finished. "I know, I guess. It's just; I got no idea why I blew up at her like that." Tony said and placed his head in his hands. "I was just kinda annoyed with her family I guess. I mean she has to lie, that she's pregnant with my baby for her to feel loved by them." Gibbs nodded, "That's how mother in law's are." Tony smiled slightly, "I just don't want her to always have to lie to them. Because they already hated me, imagine when they find out I'm not her husband." Tony groaned. Gibbs took a swig of the bourbon in his own cup before bobbing his head slightly, "So you care for her?" he finally said. Tony glanced up at him, "What?" "DiNozzo, listen. If you don't want her to be that unhappy, then you obvious care for her." Tony cocked his head to the sighed and looked at him; he rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess." Gibbs set the cup on the table and lightly patted Tony's shoulder; he leaned down and whispered in Tony's ear, "Rule Twelve doesn't apply to your wife." He grinned before turning to dart up the stairs he stopped by a box of ginger and peppermint tea, he held it up, "What?" Gibbs shrugged. "You? Tea?" "It's from when Mike was here." Tony nodded, "Can I have it?" "Yeah, why?" Gibbs asked. "Thanks, Ziva's stomach was hurting earlier so." Tony began bounding up the stairs, "Maybe Ziva's pregnant for real." Gibbs shouted as he made his way to the top. Tony staggered on the top step and pondered the thought before shrugging, "Nah, we have to do certain things to make that happen, boss." "You better not!" Gibbs called after him.
He tried calling her several times before he got to her house. Tony stood on the doorstep for a second weighing his options. He decided being hit in the head with a skillet by Aunt Nettie was not as good as simply picking the lock. He pushed the door open with great ease as he finished his job, smiling proudly to himself. "Ziva." He called into the apartment. "Ziva?" He walked into the living room and picked up a few blankets making sure no one was under them. "Ziv-." The sound of his scull nearly being cracked was the last thing her heard before collapsing to the floor for the second time today.
"See! I told you. Look he's waking up." A thick Latino accented voice said as Tony began coming out of his blackout. His vision was blurred but he remembered the face, "George Lopez?" he asked as he sat up slowly.
"Da Loca!" the man exclaimed. The man wasn't exactly like George for his head was smaller but his hair and his face were all the same. "What the hell happened?" Tony asked as he rubbed the back of his head again. "You broke into our home." A woman said as she came into his still blurred sight of vision. Now she, looked like an exact replica Betty White expect her skin was much darker along with her hair. "What are you talking about?" Tony asked. "You tried to break into our apartment, Chico. Which was not a good idea with Betty Mae on the loose." The man said. "Who's Betty Mae?" The man pointed to the old woman, "Mi Abuela." Tony sighed, "Where's Ziva?" he finally asked as the throbbing in head continued to grow. "Who?" Betty Mae asked. "Ziva, you know. Pretty, Pregnant, Powerful. Why are you in her apartment?" "I think you're in the wrong apartment." The man said. "No, this is Twenty-Seven D." Tony said. "No, this is Twenty-Seven Double D." Betty Mae explained.
"Oh." Tony said, now embarrassed. "The apartment you're looking for is the floor across the street." The man explained. Tony nodded, before wobbly standing; the man grabbed his arm carefully. "How about I walk you over there so you don't kill yourself." Tony smiled slightly, "Thanks." He opened the door for Tony and but Tony waved to the woman, "Thanks for the bang on the head, Betty Mae." He called. "So, uh, tell me. What's your name son?" the man asked as he helped Tony into the passenger seat of the car. "Tony. Tony DiNozzo." He said as the man climbed into the driver's seat. "So who's Ziva?" he asked as he started the car. "Ziva is my partner/wife, scratch that fake wife." The man scanned from the driver's side, "What?" "It's a long story." "Give me the short side." "Basically, she told her Aunt she got married to me after I kinda yelled at her through the phone; her Aunt and her mom came over from Israel. And practically ruined my life, then I kinda lied and said she was pregnant, so know she was acting pregnant, and god it's scary." He said quickly and ended breathless. The man squinted at him for a second before he fell out laughing. "Dang, you Niño's screw up, mucho!" he exclaimed. "Thanks." Tony muttered. The man parked Tony's car in front of Ziva's apartment. "I hope things go better for you Chico." He said as he patted Tony's shoulder. Tony nodded before stepping out of the car, "Thanks…" "Jorge. Jorge Lopez." The man said grinning. Tony opened his mouth to say something when the man said it for him, "With a J." Tony nodded, "Thanks Anyway."
This time after he checked the Apartment Number and picked the lock, he looked all around him before beginning his search. "Ziva." He whispered. "Ziva" he called again. "What?" a voice hissed and Tony turned around where Ziva was standing directly behind him. "I'm sorry, I was acting stupid. I mean for crying out loud you're the mother of my child! I can't be acting like one." He exclaimed. Ziva furrowed her eyebrows together, "Are you drunk?" she asked cautiously. Tony lightly touched her chin, "No. But I am sorry, so sorry." Ziva was taken aback for second before Tony leaned in and kissed her lightly. "I love you." He whispered. "Tony." Ziva said quietly but Tony pressed his lips to hers again, longer and with more passion. Rivka and Aunt Nettie stood in Ziva's bedroom doorway watching the scene, "Seems like they are just fine." Rivka said quietly. "But for how long."
Tony woke up on the couch, and felt the area beside him which was ice cold, and it seemed to be like that for a very long time. He sat up and looked around, and then he heard the shower running. He made his way to the kitchen and made himself some coffee when he heard the bedroom door open. He turned around as Ziva sat down on top of the couch; his eyes bulged when he saw her. "So, what's for breakfast?" she asked. "Um, um, I was making coffee." He stuttered as he stared at her chest, it was huge. "I was in the mood for grapefruits and eggs." She said seductively as she walked over to him. "Um, those are big." He said as she undid her robe. "The grapefruit?" Ziva asked as she cocked her head. "Uh, sure." Ziva stepped closely into 'Tony's space' and lightly kissed him. "Tony. Tony." She whispered. "Wake up. Wake up." "What?" Tony asked as he shook his head.
"Wake up!" Ziva shouted as she shook Tony's shoulder. Tony snapped his eyes open and looked around, and up at Ziva. He reached up and mindlessly grabbed her breasts before she slapped him hard, "What the hell is wrong with you!" she shouted as she stood up. "Are those real?" he asked. Ziva furrowed her two eyebrows at him, "What?" He sat up and looked around, "Sorry. A dream I had." Ziva backed away from him slowly as he got up out of the bed, "Where's your mom and Aunt?" "They went out shopping." Ziva finished as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Can I have a cup? Or are you still mad at me?" Tony asked he sat down at the table; Ziva looked at him curiously before pouring another cup and sat down across from him. "So tell my why you were dreaming about my breasts?" she asked as she took a sip. "Um, well. I woke up and I looked around and I heard the shower running so I got up and poured myself a cup of coffee, then you came out and were like all sexy." This made Ziva raises her eyebrows and take another sip, "And then you took of your robe and, man they were huge. I mean like double d's" Ziva spit her coffee back into the cup and nearly choked, "What?" "I dunno it was a weird." Tony said as he took a sip of his own coffee. "Very…about last night." Ziva started. "I talked to Gibbs, and you know we're partners. You needed my help, and I was acting like a brat." Tony said and Ziva nodded, "That you were." Tony glared at her slightly, "Look. I'm apologizing, screw Gibbs. Can you forgive me? "
Ziva ran her tongue on the inside of her mouth and then shook her head, "I can't." "Why?" Tony questioned. "Because, right now I'm craving a twenty." She said, smirking. Tony grinned, "You know, you're a trip right?" he reached into his wallet and handed her a fifty dollar bill. "Keep the change." Ziva leaned across the table and pecked his lips lightly, "I'm not a trip, I'm pregnant." She ruled. Ziva got up and washed her mug out before washing the rest, "So when's your mom supposed to be back?" "Now." Aunt Nettie said as she and Rivka made her way into the apartment. "You look like you just woke up Mr. DiNozzo; it's almost 11: 30." Aunt Nettie said as she tried to make up their bed. "I just did." Tony Muttered, she glanced up at him before reaching into a bag and tossing something to him. He flipped it over; it was a small box with a picture of a very attractive pregnant woman on it the title was, "BabyPlus Prenatal Education System." "What the hell is this?" he muttered to himself. "It is a learning system." Rivka explained when she saw Tony's confused expression. "Well, how-?" She took it from him and tore the box open; it was a tiny white machine with a strap similar to the one on Ziva's 'stomach' hanging on the back. "See you just." Rivka commanded as she started the strap around Ziva's waist area and hit a small switch. "So what's it do exactly?" Ziva asked as she looked down at it. "It's sounds that scientifically enhance the baby's brain." Aunt Nettie said excitedly. "More like scientifically proven as a piece of crap." Tony whispered in Ziva's ear as he set his cup in the sink. "What was that Mr. DiNozzo?" Aunt Nettie smirked, "I said, do you think your Aunt would like to go to the new mall?" Aunt Nettie looked up at him, "Sure, but you might want to go get dressed." She suggested, Tony looked at Ziva who smirked at him. He sighed quietly before going into the bedroom.
He grabbed a pair of blue jeans and a blue short sleeve shirt before reaching for the keys but they weren't on the dresser. He looked out in the living room where only Ziva was sitting on the couch with a pregnancy book in hand, "Mother is in the nursery and Aunt Nettie is already in the car." She smirked; Tony mocked a laugh before running out of the front door and into Aunt Nettie's rental car.
The ride to mall was mostly silent; the only sound was her Israeli music playing in the background. She parked the car and they both stepped out. They strolled into the Christmas-themed mall and walked around for quite a bit before Aunt Nettie said, "You did not really want to go to the mall did you not?" she asked. "Um, no." Tony admitted. "I am very disappointed in you." "I know. I would be too. I mean I guess I'm kinda just adjusting to the whole father thing." Tony said as he played with a mobile, not realizing they had walked into a baby store. "But are you going to be like this when the child is born?" Rivka questioned. "Are you going to love that little baby growing inside of my niece?" she asked urgently. Tony glanced at her for the longest time before looking back down at the mobile, "Yeah, and if I don't you can personally kick my ass back to Israel." He said smirking a little. Aunt Nettie nodded, "I'll take you up on that offer." She agreed, and Tony nodded. "Do you like this one?" She asked as she traced the giraffe's as it dangled in the air. "Yeah, kinda reminds me of the time when my mom took me took to the zoo. It was around this time, chrismassy-ish" He said quietly. "All right," she handed him a hundred doll bill, "Nettie, I couldn't." She pushed the money back into his hand. "I command you or you will never see my niece again." She said seriously. Tony took the money and paid for the mobile, they walked around the rest around the mall talking and occasionally laughing. "You know, I saw how Ziva had a Mini Cooper, and you have a mustang. That is not a family car." She suggested and Tony grinned, "You know, I'm really starting to like you." He said grinning.
Ziva shut the book shut, they had been gone for over two hours, she thought to herself. She got up and moved a curtain to get a better view of the street, and she gasped, "TONY!"
What's you think? I need reviews people! I posted this at exactly 12 AM! Happy New Year 2011 Baby!