Ok people, this chapter contains more sex, rape, and now also torture. Again, I warned you at the beginning, but now I am delivering. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Also, let me just give a big FUCK YOU to for getting rid of my time-skip markers and making me have to scroll all the way back through to find them and put this stupid line in instead. NOT COOL.

Days passed. Days of stolen kisses and secret glances, and then nights of love-making that were every bit as sweet as the last.

Until Saturday.

We spent most of that day tucked away in the most secret part of the garden where we knew there was no chance of being found or heard, and to my surprise but also pleasure, N nearly threw himself at me with unbridled passion. Although it stunned me at first, this especially needy side of him was nothing if not welcome.

Now as we lay naked in the grass, catching our breaths for the umpteenth time, I caught his hand in my own to still him when he once more began trailing kisses down my stomach.

"What's gotten into you today?" I asked playfully. "You're insatiable."

N glanced up at me, then settled back against my chest. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize; I certainly have no complaint. I'm just curious."

"There's.. something I have to do tonight, so we will have to be apart." He mumbled softly. "I want to carve every moment with you into my mind for that time."

"That thing you always do on Saturday nights?"

"..You've noticed.."

"Of course. Whatever it is, I can be there with you, you know."

N smiled at me, but I could have sworn I saw his eyes turn to the sad, dull colour that frightened me for a moment. "Thank you, Black. But this is something I must do alone. Will you come to me in the morning, though? Earlier than usual?"

"As you wish, my N." I tilted his face up to kiss him. "Whatever you wish."

He moaned softly and ground his hips against my side, letting me feel his renewed hardness. "Take me again, Black.."

Groaning at the seductive whisper, I rolled us over and eagerly complied, draping his legs over my shoulders as I entered him. "N.. You're so wonderful.. I love you..."

Sighing happily, N arched his back. "Yes.. I.. ah! I love.. you.. t-too.. Mm..."

"You're starting.. to understand what.. love is, then..?"

N nodded, then gasped and clutched my arms when I reached between us to firmly stroke his cock. "Oh, Black..!"

"Already so close.." But honestly so was I. Just watching him, hearing his voice like this, it was too much to even think about pacing myself. Speeding up my thrusts, it took no time at all before we came together, and once more collapsed in a panting heap.

Holding onto me tightly, N buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Tell me again." He pleaded. "Black, tell me you love me."

"I love you."

"Why?"

"'Why'?" I echoed.

"Why did you fall in love with me?"

I thought about it. Was it even possible to pin it down in a reasonable answer? "You're just.. perfect. I love everything about you."

N pulled back to look at me in wonder. "You think I'm perfect?"

I grinned and nudged the tip of his nose with mine. "I know you're perfect. But on that note.. Why did you fall in love with me?"

"Well.." He hesitated, apparently having the same problem I had. "You're kind and gentle, and you treat me like a person. You make me happy no matter what." Suddenly he blinked, as if realizing something. "It's like you're perfect, too!"

I laughed. "I can think of a few people who would disagree with that, but if you think so, that's all that matters."

In this way, we enjoyed ourselves until late in the afternoon. I left N at the door to his bedroom, stealing one last kiss before returning to my own.

That was the last day of our happiness.

The next morning I awoke to find I had received another letter from Cheren. He told me that most of the kingdom's knights, –those who still valued their honor, he surreptitiously jabbed– exiled themselves to avoid prosecution when they refused to abide by Ghetsis's laws. He was now hearing rumors that they were considering planning a revolution.

Sighing, I sat back in my chair. That might be for the best. If I kept in touch with Cheren, I might be able to know when to get N to safety, and then we would wait for Ghetsis to either be killed or imprisoned. It might not be easy to convince the public that N had nothing to do with the what Ghetsis has done, but I trusted his ability to unknowingly charm people in an instant.

I continued thinking over the possible scenarios as I dressed and headed for N's chambers early like he had requested. There was no answer when I knocked on the door, but it was unlocked so I entered.

"N?" I called, seeing that the bedroom was empty. It was in the bathroom that I found him, curled up in the tub. "..N?"

He looked up, and I saw with a jolt that he had been crying. Wordlessly he reached out to me with both arms, looking more than ever like a hapless child.

"N? What's the matter?" I quickly went over to kneel beside the tub, letting him pull me into a tight embrace. "Why are you crying?"

"Nightmares." He mumbled into my shoulder.

I sighed and petted his head gently. I had been afraid of that happening. "Oh, N... This water is cold.. How long have you been in here? Come on, let's get you out." He continued to cling to me as I dried him off and then carried him back to the other room.

For reasons he had not yet told me, N seemed to dislike his bed to the point where I had never actually seen him in it. But there was no way I would let him lay on the floor when he was feeling this terrible, so whatever he had against it would have to be put aside.

Setting him down on the edge, I pulled back the blankets, but then stopped.

There was blood on the sheets. A small, fresh stain. But it was not just blood, there was something else mixed in. Something white.

At that point N noticed where we were and what I had seen. I looked at him, and my mind went further into shock at the terror in his eyes.

"N.." I said quietly. "What is this..?"

In the next instant he had lurched out of my arms, quickly grabbing the covers and pushing them back over the stain. "Don't." He whispered. "Please just don't."

The numbness I had felt was beginning to leave as the reality of the situation and my grasp of it set in. "Tell me, N. What is that?"

N shook his head wildly. "No. No. No. No, no, no, no."

I reached out and spun him around to face me, but he refused to look up. "N, you have to tell me! What happened last night? Is that your blood?"

He shoved me away and laid down on the bed, curling up in a tight ball and hiding his face against the blanket. "I'm sorry." He sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I was shaking, and my head was spinning. It was all coming together. His actions up until now, the way he craved gentleness, and hated the bed, and then every Saturday.. The "nightmares" he had told me about were not nightmares at all.

Feeling my stomach roll, I crawled up onto the bed and covered his quaking body with my own.

"N." I murmured softly. "N, please. Just tell me. Tell me who has been doing this to you." Tears were burning my eyes, and there was a large, painful lump in my throat. "Why did you hide this from me, N? I could have been protecting you. I could have..." I shook my head. There would be time for regret later. Right now I needed to know who to kill. "Who is it, N?"

"I can't." He whimpered. "Please, just forget about this. Forget it ever happened."

"What are you saying? You really think I'll look the other way? Tell me, N!"

"NO! You'll be killed! There's nothing you can do, so please just forget!"

I'll be killed, he says? That's when it hit me. N's fears, the promise he begged me to make, and the pattern between Saturday and Sunday that was broken only during the month that that man was gone...

"It's Ghetsis."

N froze beneath me.

"It's him, isn't it. He's the one."

"Black, don't..."

Everything made sense, now. I got up and began to head for the door, but before I could even take a step, N had wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Stop!" He cried. "You promised! You promised you would stay away from him!"

"This is different! Let go!"

"No, I won't! I won't let you die!"

"Do you have such little faith in me?"

"You don't know him like I do! You don't know what he's capable of! Black, he killed my mother!"

"He– What?"

"She tried.. She tried to run away with me, to escape.. But we didn't even get off the castle grounds before he stopped us. Then she tried to kill him, but he... You can't win against him, Black. He's more powerful than you can imagine."

I turned in his grasp and placed my hand on top of his head as he cried into my stomach. "N.. I have sworn to protect you from anything and everything. And even if I had not, I would still risk my life for you. I would die for you, especially if it meant I took that monster down with me."

"No, you can't say that!"

"Listen to me." I insisted. "I don't plan on dying any time soon, but I am going to kill him."

N remained silent for a long moment, then he looked up, and I started at the iron will I saw in his eyes.

"I order you not to." He said softly.

I blinked. "..What..?"

"I order you, as your king, to stay away from Ghetsis. Abandon any thought of killing him. What I need is for you to just stay with me. To hold me and love me and touch me gently when it's over. That's all you can do. That's all I will allow you to do. Those are my orders, Black. Will you dare to disobey them?"

I stared down at him in shock. "Why are you doing this?"

His arms tightened around me, but his stony gaze remained unwavering. "Because I need you, Black. If I know you love me, I can endure it. This has been my whole life, but just knowing that you love me, that you will be here every day only for me.. That makes it so much more bearable."

Closing my eyes, I fought the urge to just lay down and cry. Why did it have to be like this? Why did my precious N have to suffer? Why was he forbidding me from saving him?

Torn between my oath to protect him and my oath to obey him, all I could do was pull him up and carry him to our usual spot in front of the fireplace.

Laying us down on the plush rug, I held him close and gently stroked his back. "Whatever you wish, my Lord." I whispered.

Several days went by. N pretended that nothing had happened, and I tried to as well, but each night as he slept beside me, I was tormented by my thoughts.

I knew I could not keep my word. I could not watch as Saturday approached, knowing that by my vow I would stay in my room and wait as the person I loved more than anything was raped by his own family.

And so one afternoon as he was occupied with paperwork, I slipped away and headed for the wing of the castle where the Seven Sages lived and worked.

"I seek an audience with Ghetsis." I told the secretary sitting outside his office. "It concerns the king."

She nodded. "Wait one moment, please."

After going through the large, ornate doors for a few moments, she came back out. "He will see you, now."

Keeping my face blank, I went inside to see the man that was now the target of a powerful hatred I had never known was possible sitting at his lavish desk.

"What brings you here, boy?" He inquired cooly.

Damn the consequences. I will take his head right here and now.

"Is my son doing well?"

For a moment his words did not register. Then I stopped my advance, confused. "..What..?"

A smooth smile spread across his face. "My son. The king you so devotedly serve."

But that didn't make sense. N's mother was Ghetsis's sister, so...

Oh, my god...

Chuckling, Ghetsis stood up and walked around his desk to stand before me. "Surprised? It was important to keep the sacred Harmonia bloodline pure, you see. Now.. what did you come here for?"

My vision was turning red, and a deep shaking had begun in my bones. Without a thought I unsheathed my sword and lunged.

Before I could take even one step forward, however, pain suddenly burst against the back of my head, and I knew no more.

The moment consciousness slowly began to return to me, I knew something was terribly wrong. My head pounded, my arms were screaming, and then upon opening my eyes, I did not recognize my surroundings at all, but this was most certainly the last place in the world I wanted to wake up in.

It was a dark dungeon, lit only by a few torches on the wall also hung with a variety of cruel-looking instruments the purpose and functions of which I could only guess at. There was a large wooden table nearby that sported even more, and the dank air hung thick with the lingering scent of blood and fear.

As for myself, I was suspended from the ceiling by my wrists, just high enough that I had to stand on my toes to give my arms some relief.

This was very, very bad.

"Ah, you're awake." The familiar voice, and the sight of Ghetsis walking into view made my memory rush back in an instant.

I had tried to kill him, but obviously failed. I had failed. Was he going to kill me, now? No.. No, I can't die. I can't leave N alone like this! I had been so close, how could I have failed him?

Ghetsis watched whatever emotions might have played over my face with a smug expression. "That was quite brave of you, boy, to try to kill me. Stupid, but brave. Did you honestly think I was unaware of your intentions? That I did not expect it the moment you won that tournament and made N take such interest in you? I was almost surprised that it took this long for him to slip and tell you our secret, but it seems that his loyalty to me runs deeper than I even thought. Although perhaps that has something to do with the fact that he remembers his dear mother's fatal mistake so clearly."

"You bastard.." I growled, not about to let on how terrified I was.

He only smiled and stepped over to me, close enough now that I could feel his breath on my face as he tilted my chin up. I wanted to kick him, to do something instead of hang there helplessly, but my ankles were shackled to the floor.

"Yes, N told you about that night, didn't he. I was young and impatient, then; quick to anger. Madeline got off much too easy for her sins, but you, boy... I'm going to take my time with you. Slowly and gently, until the light in your eyes has been snuffed out; until you are the broken shell of a human begging me for death."

I spat in his face, then bit back a cry of pain when he slammed his fist into my stomach.

As I coughed, my lungs struggling to regain air, Ghetsis chuckled and wiped his cheek. "Oh yes.. I shall greatly enjoy breaking you."

At that moment the door opened and in walked the Shadow Triad, –three elite ninja whose secretive clan had served the Harmonia family for centuries– pulling N behind them. At first he looked worried and confused, but then he saw me, saw Ghetsis standing next to me, and all colour drained from his face.

"Black..?" He whispered, wide eyes taking in my situation as the door was shut and locked behind him.

I bowed my head, unable to take the way he stared at me.

"Is that all you have to say to your lover?" Ghetsis said in a mocking tone. "Or perhaps instead you should treat him as a traitor. After all, he disobeyed your direct orders, and made an attempt on my life without remorse."

Now N looked from me, to Ghetsis, and then back. "Wh..what..? Black.. Black, tell me you didn't!"

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I wasn't able to save you. ..But I haven't given up! I'll never give up! No matter what happens, I will find a way to save you!"

N sank to his knees, and I could see him trembling. Tears began to trickle down his cheeks as he spoke in a choked voice. "Please.. Please don't do this.." It was impossible to tell who was addressing, because he kept his unfocused gaze locked on the floor.

"Don't do what, N?" Ghetsis sneered.

"Please don't kill him... I'll do anything you want, just please let him go. This is my fault, not his. If I had just.. If I..."

"N, don't you dare blame yourself!" I said desperately. "I did disobey your orders! It was my failing, not yours!"

"But you would not have done it if you did not love him so much, right?" Ghetsis pointed out with a smirk. I winced, knowing there was nothing I could say to that.

"Ghetsis, please, I'm begging you.." N's shoulders shook as he cried. "Don't hurt Black. I'll do anything..."

"There will be plenty of time for negotiations later. But right now there are lessons to be learned, and the first is that you belong only to me. Now come over here and undress."

I rounded on Ghetsis, feeling both rage and fear boiling inside me. "Leave him alone! N, don't do it!" But he was already getting up and walking over to his father. "N, no! You don't have to listen to him! Please, don't let him hurt you!"

Without even glancing at me, N removed his clothes, letting them fall in a pile around him. Grabbing his arm, Ghetsis dragged him over to stand in front of me.

"Just look at these blemishes that boy left on your perfect skin." Ghetsis said as he pulled N's hair back to reveal the myriad of small purplish-red circles dotting his neck and shoulders. "Did you think you could hide them from me? It might take a week for them to fade! How could you expect me to forgive someone who creates such unsightly marks? I've never so much as bruised you, now have I? Nowhere anyone could see at least, right? Yet you still sought the arms of another. You've hurt me, N. I thought you loved me."

"I-I'm sorry.. I do love you."

"Then come, prove it to me. Prove it to this boy whose life is ruined thanks to your selfishness." Ghetsis snapped his fingers, and one of the Triad standing silently by brought over a chair for him to sit in, pulling N back into his lap as he did.

"NO, STOP IT!" I bellowed, struggling against the chains holding me. "DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM! I'LL KILL YOU, I SWEAR IT!"

"Shut him up, will you?" Ghetsis muttered carelessly, unfazed by my threats. "He's upsetting N."

My mouth was then gagged, but I continued to yell incoherently as I watched this nightmare unfold.

With one hand Ghetsis stroked N's jaw, tilting his head to the side so he could kiss his neck, while the other reached down to readjust his robes. "Don't close your eyes, son. Look at him. Let him see just exactly what he could not save you from."

On command, N opened his eyes and met mine. I shook my head, trying to tell him that he shouldn't, but the next moment they shut again with a scream of pain when Ghetsis harshly forced himself inside.

"He's crying for you, N." The man purred, thrusting sharply into N while pulling his legs up against his chest, making sure I could see everything. "What do you suppose he's thinking? Is he disgusted? Does he understand now that you are mine?"

N sobbed, knuckles white as he clung to his father's cloak. But he did not fight back or try to get away. Even as he bled, he only held on and struggled to suppress his cries.

I felt as though I was going to die. Because of my failure, he was suffering like this. Because I had not been strong enough. My vision was clouded with tears, but never for however much longer I had to live would I forget this sight. It would be burned into my mind for eternity.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Please don't ever forgive me for failing you.

Ghetsis grabbed N's hair and jerked his head back to kiss him with a deep groan as he came. Then he unceremoniously let his limp body crumple forward onto the floor. Standing up and straightening his clothing, Ghetsis smirked at me.

"Now, have you learned a lesson?" He asked, walking over to untie the gag.

"I'll kill you." I whispered, not taking my eyes off N, who remained unmoving where he lay, gasping for breath.

"Apparently not, then. Well, I suppose it would be boring if you gave up so easily. What should we do next, N? N. Get up, you disgraceful creature."

Slowly N sat up, but that was all. I wanted to say something to him, but what could I possibly?

It seemed Ghetsis was satisfied with that, however, and walked over to the table. "Where to start, I wonder." He said to himself, looking over the various things laid out. "Perhaps something simple to warm up with."

Now N lifted his head as Ghetsis returned with a leather whip. "D-don't!" He gasping, trying to stand, but his legs refused to support him. "Wait! Please! Father, don't– AH!" He cried out when Ghetsis suddenly yanked him up by his hair.

"How many times have I told you not to call me father!" The man snapped.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Ghetsis threw him back to the ground. "Stay there and be quiet."

I felt my shirt being cut away by one of the Triad behind me. "Wait." I said to Ghetsis desperately. "Do whatever you want to me, but don't make N watch!"

"This is his punishment as much as it is yours. Now listen closely, boy. When you want me stop, all you have to do is say that you hate him, understand? But it has to be convincing, of course." Ghetsis smirked as he teasingly tapped the whip against my cheek.

"Go to hell." I growled. "I'll never say any such thing."

It looked as though my promise pleased him greatly, because he smiled cruelly. "We shall see."

I braced myself as he pulled his arm back to swing. N screamed, and then pain momentarily blacked out my vision as the sound of a loud crack shot through the air. Somehow I managed to keep silent as another burst of pain ran across my chest, and then another..

N was still screaming, held back by one of the ninjas. I clenched my jaw until I felt my teeth creak, trying so hard not to give Ghetsis the pleasure of hearing my pain. But it would not stop. Once my chest was covered in crisscrossed red lines, he handed the whip to one of the Triad who repeated the process on my back as he sat in the chair and watched me.

Then, after what seemed like forever, it finally ended, and I was left limp and dazed, but I don't think I uttered a sound.

"N.." In fact it was now hard for me to speak at all. "Please.. Stop crying.. I'm alright.."

He was curled up on the floor nearby, clutching his head and sobbing even though his voice had long since given out.

Ghetsis chuckled and sipped the wine he must have had poured at some point. "I must commend your fortitude, boy." He told me. "This is far more satisfying than breaking the wings of N's filthy birds. Please do remain steadfast as long as you can. I don't even recall the last time I have been so entertained. Give him some water."

I jerked my head away from the cup that was offered me, refusing to cooperate even though I was so thirsty. The silent masked man grabbed my jaw spilled the water into my mouth, but I spat it back out. I could hear Ghetsis laughing.

"Have it your way, then. Tomorrow I am sure you will be much more willing." He stood up. "That's enough for tonight, I think. Put N in a cell and leave the boy where he is. We'll continue in the morning."

"Yes, Sir." Two of the Triad left with Ghetsis while the other lifted N easily into his arms.

"N!" I called to him, but he did not look up as the ninja took him someplace behind me. I heard the rattle of an iron-bar door not too far off, and then the third of the Triad left as well.

It seemed like the moment the door closed behind him, everything came crashing down on top me, and I passed out.

"Black.. Black..!"

I forced my eyes open and struggled to focus them as a voice called to me. Just as I saw N's face, I remembered the pain. With a groan my eyes shut again.

"No.. Black, please wake up! Please, Black, talk to me..."

I could feel his hands stroking my face, my hair. I felt the heat of his body so close to mine, and the softness of his lips as he kissed me.

"N.." I whispered. "Are you alright..?"

"I'm fine.." But his voice broke. "Listen.. Black, you have to do as he says. Tell him that you hate me."

"I'm not doing that." I looked up at him again. "Not even as a lie."

"Is he awake, yet?"

Inwardly I cringed to hear Ghetsis's voice nearby. N glanced over his shoulder.

"Y-yes..."

"Good. Now give him something to drink. We can't have him dying of dehydration."

Someone handed N a cup of water. I thought about refusing again, but the worry on his face made me accept it wordlessly. Downing it all in one go, the lukewarm liquid did not make me feel much better.

"Come here, N."

Flinching, N gave me one last brief kiss before stepping back and crawling, still naked from yesterday, onto Ghetsis's lap as the man once again sat in the chair placed in front of me.

I bit the inside of my cheek, deciding that it would only be a waste of energy I would surely need to curse him the way I wanted to. But more painful than my wounds by far was watching Ghetsis absently run his hand up and down N's back, who only shivered and laid his head on his father's shoulder.

What horrors had he been put through that N, who was always passionate and forthright with his emotions, would remain so docile and obedient towards this man even as he was being raped?

"Well, N?" Ghetsis began in a light tone. "How shall we begin, today?"

"Please don't." N whispered. "I beg of you, don't hurt him anymore.."

"Then let's ask him if he has learned his lesson." A red eye turn to me. "You know how to make this all stop, boy. Will you submit to me?"

"That won't ever happen." I said firmly.

"Black!" N protested, but Ghetsis pulled him back by his hair.

"Very well." He said, not even bothering to pretend that my answer vexed him. Carelessly pushing N to the floor, he stood up and walked over to someplace behind me.

"Ghetsis, please, have mercy!" N called after him.

"Don't bother." I interrupted gently. "It's useless to even try. If anything you ought to beg him to let you out of here. Worry about yourself, N."

"Such selfless words." Ghetsis returned holding a sharp knife, the blade glowing red with heat. "But neither of you are leaving this place until our loyal little knight has been properly broken-in." He held it close to my cheek until I could feel it's warmth, then trailed it down my neck. "You did well to hold your tongue yesterday, but now I wonder how long you can keep up that brave front?"

I wondered that, myself. But I met his amused gaze and did not look away even when the tip of the knife slowly dug into my shoulder.

It hurt. Oh god it hurt. There was no way I could keep my voice back, but I still would not utter a word, no matter what.

The sound of N's crying faded away. Everything faded away except for the pain. It dragged across my chest, and then sank into my abdomen, going so deep and burning all the way. I was screaming, now. Then the knife was ripped back out, tearing open the wound it had just cauterized before pushing back in somewhere else.

I deserved this. For my failure I deserved this and much more. But why did N have to see it? If only he could hate me. He ought to be the one torturing me, punishing me for not being able to save him.

After a time, my mind went blank. There was no room for thought around the agony. It felt as though my whole body was been slowly torn to shreds. I could smell my own flesh burning.

Then suddenly the world shifted and I was on the ground. Frigid water splashed over me, pulling my consciousness back. Rough hands were putting a stinging balm upon my wounds, and then bandaging me. And then N's voice returned to my sphere of reality.

"Black.. Please, say something.." His breath brushed against my ear, and the warm drops of his tears fell down onto my face.

"..N.." I could not recognize my own voice. "Don't cry.."

Of course he only cried harder.

For a long while I lay there, slowly recovering. It could have been an hour or a day. Finally I was able to sit up with N's help, getting my weight off of the gashes along my torso.

Having at last regained feeling in my hands, I pulled N forward and kissed him, but he pushed me back.

"Why are you like this?" He asked in a distressed tone. "Even though it's my fault, why do you still..."

"I told you." I managed a smile. "I'll always love you. This pain is nothing compared what you've suffered all your life."

A shadow fell over us, and I looked up to see Ghetsis standing behind N.

"Yes.." He said thoughtfully. "The two of you are alike, aren't you. Witnessing the pain of the other is worse even then experiencing pain, yourselves. It is amusing as it is perplexing."

N and I only had a moment to look at each other, to both realize what was coming, before Ghetsis knelt down and pulled N back towards him.

"NO!" I shouted even though my voice was too raw to even reach above normal volume. I tried to grab for him, but my ankles were still bound and I ended up stretched out painfully on the floor again, only close enough to wrap my arms around N's shoulders. "Leave him alone! Don't—"

My threat cut off when Ghetsis took a fistful of N's hair and pulled his head back so far he could not even breathe.

"The more you fuss, the more I hurt him." Ghetsis explained calmly. "Now stay there and behave like the helpless failure you are."

My stomach was churning again, but when I said nothing, N's hair was released. Biting my lip until I tasted blood, I pulled him as close as I could and cradled his head on my shoulder, gripping his hand tightly.

"It's going to be alright, N." I said softly into his ear. He whimpered but remained limp as Ghetsis forced his hips up. "I promise. We're going to get out of here, and live the rest of our lives far away from this place." I felt the force of Ghetsis thrusting into him and tightened my hand around his. "Hang onto me, N. Just hang on.."

All I wanted was to cry, to give up. I wanted to tell Ghetsis that I would do whatever he wanted if he would just stop, but in the end that would only be more of a betrayal to N. After begging for my release until his voice gave out, he now only clung to me and cried softly.

So I forced back my tears and kept talking, a poor and desperate attempt to distract him. "Listen to me, N. Focus on my voice. I love you. I love you so much. Soon things can go back to the way they used to be, and we'll be happy again. Please believe me. If we can just get through this then everything will be ok. I will save you if it's the last thing I do."

"Black.." He choked.

I pressed my cheek against his. "I know. I know. Don't think about it. It's almost over, just hold on a little bit longer. It's almost over."

I continued to ramble my useless words of comfort until finally it did end, and Ghetsis left N in a shuddering heap. Ignoring the pain that was making my vision fade in and out, I pulled N around as gently as possible so I could hold his whole body against me. Just like that, we fell into an exhausted and fitful sleep.

Our Hell seemed unending. How long were we down there in that place? Days? Weeks? A month? It became increasingly more impossible to tell. My mind was degrading, everything had blurred into a haze of pain without any sense of what was actually happening. There was little difference between consciousness and unconsciousness. The feverish, formless dreams, and then being awoken by my head being held down in a barrel of freezing water before another session as Ghetsis's plaything.

Sometimes I thought I heard N, or felt him holding me in the cell we were now kept in together when we weren't "needed". But I could no longer make out anything distinct about my surroundings, nor tell reality from fantasy. Was N speaking to me? I was never able to make out words. Sometimes I think I tried to say something when I felt he was near, but I don't know if I ever actually managed.

And then it all stopped, for a long enough time that I began to return to my senses. N was not there when I woke, and the Triad who were taking care of me answered none of my questions. They only changed my bandages and then dragged me back out to the torture chamber, setting me on the floor at Ghetsis's feet. I was unrestrained, but I could not have so much as gotten to my feet, let alone try anything.

I was about to demand to know where N was when I spotted him. He was standing beside Ghetsis, clean and dressed in his usual robes for the first time since this ordeal began. He would not look at me.

"..N..?" I asked, but it was Ghetsis who spoke.

"I will ask you one last time, boy. Do you submit to me?"

"You already know my answer."

He chuckled and nodded, obviously having expected that response. "You have lasted this long without breaking, and for that I must say that I am impressed. No one has ever come so far and retained their spirit. And so I am accepting N's offer."

"..What offer..?"

The wide grin that spread across Ghetsis's face made my blood run colder than anything else he had done thus far. Turning, he began to pace as he always did while lecturing.

"I was most surprised when N himself suggested it." He continued, ignoring my question. "But I am also very pleased. It seems he is not a complete waste after all."

"Just what are you talking about?" I growled impatiently.

Still with that triumphant expression, Ghetsis looked back down at me. "The deal he proposed was simply this: Your life and freedom in exchange for your swordsmanship. Do you understand?"

"..No.."

"Then I will spell it out." Crouching down, he lifted up my hands. "To destroy these is to forever keep you from lifting a sword again. You will never be able to come after N with your silly dreams of 'freeing' him, or cause me and my plans anymore trouble. That was the suggestion he gave me, and I quite like it."

I stared at him, unable to think. Then I looked over at N, whose head was still turned away. "N?" I asked him again, unable to believe what I had heard. "That can't be true..."

"Answer him, N. Look him in the eyes and tell him that you won't even give him the release of death."

Slowly, N met my stunned gaze. His eyes were so dull and cold it looked at though they had turned grey.

"You are hereby released of your duties as my knight," He said softly, without a hint of emotion. "And are exiled, never to take up the sword again."

The world was falling out from under me. "N, you can't.. You can't be serious.." The Triad was pulling me up, then strapping me to a chair. "N.. N, please don't do this..! Don't push me away! Not like this! Why are you giving up on me?"

"I'm tired, Black." He whispered. "You make me feel, and I don't want to anymore." Walking over to me, he took my face in his hands and kissed me. With his lips still brushing against my own, he spoke one last time.

"Please don't torment me with your presence anymore."

Then he left, without once looking back. The door shut behind him, and his footsteps faded away.

It was inconsequential to me that Ghetsis held a hammer and nail in his hands. That he leaned down and whispered in my ear that he had won, that the broken look in my eyes was perfection. I did not even feel the nail go through my finger until it was already in and Ghetsis had started on the next one.

Nothing mattered except that my worst fears had at last been confirmed: I had only made N's suffering worse.

Third Person POV

In the late evening, Cheren and Bel were in the kitchen of her family's inn, cleaning up after a day's work. They looked up at the sound of a carriage quickly pulling up outside, and could only stand there in shock when the back door was opened by a masked man, who then pushed a cloaked figure inside before the door was shut again and the carriage took off.

The person left behind took a small step forward before collapsing.

"My goodness, are you alright?" Bel gasped, she and Cheren both rushing forward to turn him over.

Then the hood of the cloak fell away, and for a moment they had to look closely before realizing:–

"..Black..!"

...

Well, I feel as though I should say a few things here. First of all, the content of this chapter, specifically the "enduring torture for the one you love" bit is actually my oldest fetish, and which I have no explanation for. My life as a writer is practically molded around my personal quest to make stories out of all the things love can make a person do, be it good, bad, or painful. I am obsessed with this notion, in fact. That's why the mixture of Isshu- and Harmoniashipping appeals to me so much, I guess. So.. yeah. There's my failed attempt at an excuse for writing this sort of thing.

I've never actually written a torture scene before, and I considered drawing upon that one phase I went through where I studied medieval torture devices with fascination, but all of them were either too over-the-top for Ghetsis's purposes, or would just do too much lasting damage, so I kept things vague and simple.

And another big thank you to my reviewers, just because you make me feel like I have done my job as a writer, and that's what I live for, so you guys make my world go round. Will there be a happy ending? You'll just have to see for yourselves, but I will say that my specialty is "neutral" endings, so take that as you will. Two more chapters and an epilogue is all that's left of this baby.