Crying All Night Long:
"Purple or Yellow?" Abby asked as she held up two ties in those colors late Tuesday Morning. "Abby, we have not even set a date, yet." Ziva emphasized as she looked up from her computer work. It was nearly two months since their 'incident' and everything was normal; Abby & Jenny had started planning their wedding despite most of their protests it be a small wedding the guest list was getting bigger and bigger, like Ziva. She was a little bit farther into her second trimester and was showing much to her family's delight.
"Well, you need to decide soon." Abby said excitedly as she bounced up and down. "Well…" Ziva suggested as she started to get up, "Tony's favorite season is spring so, what about March 20th?" Abby squealed at Ziva's proposal. "Perfect! Perfect!" "What's perfect?" Jenny asked as she strolled into the bullpen. "Ziva just set a date for the wedding!" Jenny grinned, "What's the date?" "March 20th." Jenny's smile dropped, "That's in like 2 months." Abby nodded, "I know." "What don't you know, Abs?" Tony asked as he walked into the bullpen followed by McGee. "Hey Tony, what do you think about the date of March 20th?" Abby asked and Tony tipped his head to the side, "Something tells me Ziva spilled my secret of my favorite season." Ziva smirked, "Course not, my little furry bear." She teased and Tony rolled his eyes.
"You, have a favorite season?" McGee asked stunned. "I was a delicate child, Tiny Tim." Tony said placing a hand on his heart. "Now, that does not sound very nice, Mr. DiNozzo." Tony's eyes stared straight ahead as Aunt Nettie appeared behind him. "Hey…Aunt Nettie." Tony said meekly, slowly turning around. "Ziva, would you mind me borrowing your husband?" Ziva shook her head and smirked, "Take all the time you need." Tony glared and mouthed something incomprehensible to her before Aunt Nettie dragged him out of the building. "Where's she taking him?" Abby asked. "A fathering class." Jenny rubbed her hands together, "Oh, that should be good." Abby grabbed Ziva's arm, "Come on, we're going dress shopping!" "But-." Ziva opened her mouth to say something but Abby grabbed her bag and Jenny's other hand before pulling them both along.
"Mr. DiNozzo-." Aunt Nettie started but Tony cut in, "You can call me Tony." Aunt Nettie glanced at him before continuing, "Mr. DiNozzo. What exactly do you know about being a father?" He opened his mouth repeatedly but nothing came out, "Well?" Aunt Nettie pushed as she sped down the express way. "Um, I know that, um, babies have…like three hundred bones when their born." Aunt Nettie shook her head lightly, "Anything else?" "Um, babies have to wear diapers." She looked blankly at him, "Just as I expected." She confirmed. "What?" Tony asked. "You know nothing about infants." "Actually, I have seen like Knocked up and Juno like ten times."
Aunt Nettie exhaled slowly, "They are movies, not a living breathing child." She explained and Tony nodded fearfully for why she was slowing down. "You're right, so where are we going?" Aunt Nettie smirked over at him before pulling into a parking space and shutting off the car before climbing out. Tony cautiously climbed out and stood the longest time for there was a sign out front, "The guide to being a new father; Today Tomorrow Forever."
"Crap."
"Does it come in a different color?" Jenny asked as she took a sip of champagne, she had Ziva twirl in a rather large ball gown type of dress with a large bow on front. "It's…it's not me." Ziva explained and Jenny nodded, "You think it would look better in a pink?" "I think it would look better in black!" Abby exclaimed as she appeared from a dressing room in a deep charcoal black with a red stripe going down the middle. Ziva pointed toward her, "That is defiantly not me." "What about something strapless?" Abby suggested and she furrowed her eyebrows at her, "Have you forgotten I'll be like huge in two months?" Jenny dragged her hand over her mouth to stop from laughing, "No, how could we forget Ziva? I mean just think about your-." "I know, I know. Something Tony has already dreamed upon." Ziva smirked before turning back to the mirror. "Oh really?" Abby said smugly and Ziva rolled her eyes at her, "I just want something short and sweet."
"I just want this to be over." Tony groaned as he put his head in his hands again. He had a hard time with the sight of the room, it was mainly covered in teddy bears, and rainbows, along with unicorns and etc…etc. "My kid is never gonna have a room like this." Tony looked up and a man was sitting next to him, he had a chestnut colored skin and eyes that matched he had Jacob's body from Twilight but mainly looked like Brian White from the Game Plan. "Mine Neither." Tony admitted and the man chuckled. "I'm Derrick." He held out his hand which Tony shook, "Tony. Tony DiNozzo." Derrick nodded, "So who dragged you here?" he asked and Derrick grimaced, "Wife." "My, Aunt-in-law, I think." Derrick smiled, "Almost as bad as mother-in-law's."
"Why, do we have to do this stuff? I mean what's there to know about a kid; they eat, they sleep, and they crap." "And that is why you are all here." A familiar voice said from behind him and he grimaced, "Class, I am Netanya, but you may call me Ms. Nettie. Your instructor for today had a little…accident and asked me to fill her place." Tony started breathing shallow and ran his hands repeatedly over his face, "This can't be happening." He mumbled to himself and Derrick looked over at him. "Dude, are you okay?" Tony pointed over in Aunt Nettie's direction, "That's…That's my Aunt-in-law." Derrick busted out laughing and nearly fell to the floor, before patting Tony's back.
"I'd hate to be you right now." Aunt Nettie clapped her hands, "Okay, so let's start with getting to know each other. Tony, why don't you go first?" Tony sunk farther into his chair, "No, I think my good friend Der-." Aunt Nettie glared at him, "Tony." "Okay, Okay, Um, My name is Tony DiNozzo and me and my wife Ziva are um, expecting our first child together and um if it's a girl we plan to name her Aimee Genesis." "And if it is a boy?" "We haven't discussed it yet." Aunt Nettie raised her eyebrows before moving on to Derrick.
"Okay, my name is Derrick Suns, and me and my wife are expecting a little boy and we plan to name him Joshua Andrew." Aunt Nettie nodded approvingly before continuing to go around the room. There were only about 10 guys total so it wasn't that long they had a: Aimee, Joshua, Natalie, Emilia, Dylan, Riley, Ivy, Rachel, Kyndall and Sam. "So, let me ask you." Aunt Nettie said as she sat in the center of the group. "What plans do you have for the birth?" Tony sat up, "Xcuse me?" Aunt Nettie raised an eyebrow, "Who will be in the delivery room with you? What type of childbirth do you plan to use?" Tony smiled before he sat back in his chair, "My wife is barely 16 weeks, so I got nothing to worry about." "Yet." Derrick finished and Tony shook his head. "Nothing." He said again.
"Yet." Everybody else replied back and Tony crashed his hands against his hands, "We'll see." He told everyone. "Right, so now let's watch a video." Aunt Nettie hit the lights and a large projector screen came down slowly. "Oh, what are we watching? Knocked up? Juno? Father of the Bride?" Derrick shook his head, "The miracle of childbirth." Tony's eyes went wide and he deviously and slowly made his way up from his seat and back up toward the exit. "Going Somewhere?" Aunt Nettie murmured form behind him and he jumped like a cat. "If you do not take this class there will be severe consequences." "Like what?" Tony asked and Aunt Nettie handed him a cell phone and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?" "Tony, if you do not complete that class, you will be sleeping on the floor." Ziva told him and he looked blankly at the door, "And if you ask for how long it will be until our child has their own child." Tony put his index finger on the back of the phone, "And don't you dare hang up on me." She growled and Tony sighed, "Wouldn't dream of it sweet cheeks."
"I will see you soon." She stated and was about to hang up when Tony asked, "Hey, have you seen one of my credit cards? I had it on the counter?" "No." she said quickly before she hung up. He chewed on the edge of his lip before returning to his seat. "Wife?" Derrick questioned and Tony nodded, "And she livid." Derrick whistled, "That's 10 degrees past pissed." Tony nodded, "It's gonna be a long couple of months." He muttered as the movie started playing. "Just wait until all the mood swings." Derrick joked and Tony waved an arm at him, "Been there done that. I even met Jorge Lopez." Derrick furrowed his eyebrows at him before returning to the movie, "Wait, that is gonna-." Tony sunk father and farther into his chair until it nearly fell over, he was horrified. "Is it too late for a surrogate?" he whispered to Derrick who tried to stop laughing but nodded, "Yeah, like 18 weeks too late." Tony sighed, "It will be now."
It was her words exactly. It was a light white an Ivory almost; it had jewels going along the neck line, the two straps holding the dress up tied together in the back, and it stopped barely brushing her knees. "It's so pretty." Abby whispered. "I like it." Jenny admitted as Ziva twirled the skirt, "Me too." "Is this the one?" the sales clerk asked and they all nodded, "Yes, it is." "Would you like to buy it now or have me put it up for later?" Ziva shook her head vigorously, "This dress is coming with me tonight, Jenny looked in my bag and give her the sleek black credit card in my wallet." She ordered and Jenny obeyed and the store quickly made her way behind the counter. "When did you get a Centurion?" Jenny asked smirking. Ziva held up the finger with her ring on it, "As long as this ring is on my finger, what's his is mine." Abby high-fived her, "You go girl!"
Tony squirmed all through the movie until the very end and the lights came on, most men were…speechless, shocked mainly. "I see this is all your first time?" Aunt Nettie said smugly and they all nodded, "Might…be…my last." A man down on the end said. Aunt Nettie clapped her hands together, "Well, let's get started." "Wait, that wasn't the class?" Tony asked and she shook her head. "No, Mr. DiNozzo, it has only been 45 minutes." "How long is this class again?" he asked with little patience in his voice. "2 hours." Aunt Nettie explained before getting up and gesturing for them to follow. The stopped at a large long table with some type of oval sized bowl on top. He directed each man to one with a small baby doll next to it. "Now, you will learn how to wash a child." "So, you don't just set them in some water and use soap?" Tony asked and Aunt Nettie looked at him to see if he was serious, he was. "You cannot wash a baby with just anything first of all. The umbilical cord must have fallen off and heal before you can give your child its first bath."
Aunt Nettie explained and they all nodded. "Now, the tubs are already filled with Luke warm water." Everybody except Tony set the dolls in the water; he was staring at it curiously. "I don't think this looks like Aimee." He said as Aunt Nettie walked over to him. "Mr. DiNozzo, it is just a doll. Not your actual child." "I mean, if Ziva had just had the kid, and the nurse was putting it in your arms would you want these beady little eyes staring at you." Most of the men were snickering now, "Just put the doll in the water." Aunt Nettie sighed, "But-." Aunt Nettie glared at him, and he held up his hands in defense.
"Just sayin'." She had eventually gotten him to put it in the water and started the class again. "Now, lightly using the washcloth dab the infant and be careful around the face." She clarified and they did as they were told, "Hey, um, shouldn't you be careful-." "Not now Mr. DiNozzo." Aunt Nettie growled and he went back to dabbing around the dolls ears, "I'm just saying that if you want to have some grandchildren, you should be careful." Tony sang quietly to himself and Derrick laughed quietly.
She told them to take the small cup next to them and take in some water and pour it slowly and gently over the doll, and then to take some baby shampoo and massage their scalp, "Would you do this if your baby was bald?" Tony asked and Aunt Nettie rolled her eyes, "Yes." She had them cover the tops of the dolls heads with their hands and was the shampoo out, "Now, lift it out and wrap it in a towel." She instructed as she handed them all a towel. Tony, being, Tony swaddled it perfectly until he tucked it under his arm and pretend to play football with it. "Now, follow me." She gestured again to the other side of the room where a group of changing tables lay.
They all set the dolls down on tables and Aunt Nettie handed them all a diaper. Tony sniffed the baby powder and sneezed, "Febreezy." Aunt Nettie sighed before beginning, "Okay how many have actually changed a diaper before?" Tony raised his hand, "On a child." She clarified and it dropped. "I don't think dogs count then." He told her and she nodded, "No. Now, first take the towel off and set the baby on the diaper. Next, lift their legs up, gently, and use the wipes and wipe their bottoms." She instructed and even Tony followed along, which scared her slightly. "Then apply the use the baby powder and then bring the diaper to the front of the abdomen."
"Why do they call it baby powder?" Tony asked her and she shrugged, "Maybe, because they use it for babies." "But adults use it too." "Just change the diaper, Mr. DiNozzo." Aunt Nettie sighed and Tony finished up before fastening the tabs on either side of the diaper, "There, not-so-Aimee." He told the baby and Derrick chuckled over at him, "Something tells me your kid's gonna have a blast." He told Tony and Tony grinned, "You should come over some time." Derrick nodded before handing him a business card which he stuck in his pocket. Shortly after Aunt Nettie taught them how to hold a baby properly, how to feed one (with some comments from Tony, of course.) and how to calm a baby quietly, before realizing their two hours were up.
'The class wasn't all that bad' he thought to himself as he and some of his new friends were sitting upon a table in room waiting for their wives. "We should do this again." Kyle said and everybody else answered for him, "NO." "How about we all take our kids to the park or something." They all nodded, figuring it was better than seeing that over and over. They all exchanged numbers before the women started showing up. Most of them were really pregnant and looked kind of the same; a light kind of skin tone, blue or hazel eyes, and either blonde or a red head. But when Ziva walked through the door, she looked…just like something out of place and he liked it. She went over to him and kissed him lightly. "So, how was it?" she said as she draped her arms around his neck. He kissed her slowly, "Only for you." He whispered to her and she grinned,
"I'll thank you later."
Derrick's POV
I smiled over at them as Nadia leaned on my shoulder, they seemed happy. Sure, he was a jokester but around her, she seem to even him out almost. "Oh." He said looking over at me. "Ziv, this is Derrick. Derrick this is Ziva." I held out my hand which she shook quite firmly to my surprise, "This is my wife Nadia." I said as I gestured up to her and she waved as I brushed some of her hair from her eyes. "They've got a Joshua." He said excitedly as Ziva nodded, "And we have an Aimee, I think." "When do you find out?" Nadia asked. "Tomorrow." "Or, July 28th." Ziva emphasized to him but he didn't catch the hint. "Well, you tell me DiNozzo, or I'll have my son kick your-." I joked and we all laughed as he cut in, "Kick my ass I know. Ziv, this guy he's like James Bond and Vin Diesel rolled into one. Well not as good as you but you get the picture." He explained quickly and she nodded and I wasn't sure if she was listening. "Ziva, are you ready?" Nettie asked as she walked up behind them. Ziva nodded and Tony stood up, "Later; Jace, Ky, S.K, Cash, Der." Tony called as Ziva dragged him out. "He's lucky to have her." Nadia whispered in my ear and I nodded, "But I'm lucky to have you."
"Ziva, why don't you take Tony and yourself with your friends, I must go do something." Aunt Nettie said as she made her way to her rental car. Ziva nodded before taking Tony's hand in hers and leading him to the other side of the parking lot, "You guys were here the whole time?" Tony shrieked and Ziva smirked, "I did not think you could handle it." She teased and Tony rolled his eyes, "Only you sweet cheeks."
They stopped when they got to their car where Abby and Jenny were leaning up against the back door waiting for them. "I see you are not crying." Abby joked and Tony mocked a laugh. "Oh, he was." She gushed as she climbed into the passenger seat before Tony could grab her. "Oh, he was?" Jenny raised her eyebrows at him as the rest of them climbed into the car, "Hey, it's not my fault. It's not like I wanna see that…come out of that." All the women laughed, "What's so funny?" he asked. "You're a man, you wouldn't understand." Abby said next to him and he rested his head back. "So, what'd you guys do?" "Oh, you know, just girl stuff." Ziva said meekly.
"Like?" "Um, shopping." "For what?" he said cautiously. "Um, nothing it's nothing." Abby said as she tried to brush it off. Tony saw a small white piece of paper lying on the floor and he quickly snatched it up, it was a receipt….for a wedding dress. "You spent 35,000 dollars on a wedding dress!" he shrieked and Ziva turned around in her seat. "Hey, that's not a lot." She explained to him and he fused his eyebrows together at her, "Do you think money grows on trees? That I can just go out and pluck it off?" he screeched. "Well, yeah. It's made of paper." She smirked at him before turning back in her seat. "Don't worry, Tony. We didn't use a debit card." Tony sighed, 'We used your credit card."
"Ima, we're home." Ziva shouted as she and Tony entered the house. Rivka immediately came from the back with a pink quilt in her arms. Tony smile dropped, "What is that?" he asked guardedly. "Well." A voice said from behind and then and they both turned around. "I figured we should put that class to the test." Aunt Nettie said as she brushed past them and took the bundle form Rivka's arms. "This is Amanda."