Everyone sat in the living room, sharing sweets, watching a film. I was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about what had happened today. Stealing from shops, almost getting caught and then Mum's surprise.

Dad was acting so relaxed it was as though he had never been away. He had ordered pizza, chosen the film and he'd even rearranged the living room to suit himself. Mum, Sid and Ellie were acting as though he hadn't been away either. They were all squished together on the sofa, laughing and having fun. Without me.

Sid had always been Dad's favourite. He took him to clubs, football matches and the zoo. Ellie was his second favourite. He would take her to the park in her pram and bring her teddies and dolls home. Mum and Dad used to go out to the pub and for a meal together and we would stay with Nan and Granddad. As for me, well, we never really got on.

Sometimes with Dad and me it was as though we lived in different worlds. We hardly ever spoke, we never saw each other that much and he didn't buy me stuff or take me places. That's why it always surprises me that it was me who first became aware that something was going on.

When I was younger we were closer and good friends. He would take Sid and me to the park after school, buy us sweets that Mum wouldn't let us have and take us to football club, rugby and karate. He treated me like a boy and although I didn't mind that much. It was only as I got older, I didn't want to go to football club and Karate.

Dad was disappointed at first but then he took it to the other extreme. He offered to paint my room pink but I like the sky blue colour. He bought me lip-gloss, make up and clothes that I didn't like. I wanted to choose them myself. I tired to be grateful but sometimes it got hard.

One day I got home and went in to my room and found the wall above my bed was covered with a big painting of a butterfly across the wall. It was pink and blue coloured and stood out more than anything else in the room. Next to it was a frame with a piece of cloth inside with a poem embodied on it. It read:

Life is like a butterfly.

You start off life so small and helpless

All you can do is eat and sleep

Then you grow and become the butterfly

You can do whatever you want

Travel around, find a partner

And of course eat lots of food.

Then you grow old and weaker

Your wings all withered and torn

Then comes your time to leave

This life, like a butterfly

You fly away, into the sun

As does the butterfly, so beautiful

But whilst life lasts many years,

For a butterfly, it's just a day

Life is like a butterfly

In many ways

We're born; we grow and spread our wings

Until it's time to part our ways

I didn't know who had written that poem but I wasn't sure I liked it.

'Umm, yes, it's alright…but…'

'But?' I had to tell him

'I know you mean well, but I don't want new clothes or this,' I said indicating to the painting

'What? Why?'

'Please Dad, understand. I'm not a girly girl but not a tomboy either. Please, just stop buying me all these things. I like them but I never asked for them.'

'What? You know, you're really ungrateful you know. I'm never going to buy you things again.'

With that he stormed out and that's when it all went wrong.

A year later and Dad had been acting strange. Mum was too busy with work and the young Ellie to notice the change. Sid was just totally oblivious. But for some reason I noticed. He was home less and at work more. But when he did come home, he dank of smoke and alcohol.

A few months after I noticed the change, we were attending a friends wedding. Dad had been gone for quite a while and Mum sent me to find him. I went over to the bar expecting to find him sitting there with some friends. But he wasn't.

I looked everywhere but I couldn't find him anywhere. I was about to go back to Mum when I wandered into an almost abandoned corridor. That's when I saw him. And her. Kissing. At first I thought he was just drunk and I told Mum that I just couldn't find him, thinking nothing of it.

It wasn't until a few weeks later, I saw him coming out of work, arm round that woman. That woman he'd been kissing. It was only me who saw him. I should have told but I knew it would destroy the family. I didn't want to ruin things for everyone else, so I kept silent. I kept it a secret for months, never telling a soul.

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