Chapter 11

Xena had put her woes into the hands of a god. It felt strange, to allow someone else carry her burdens. She didn't forget what Eli had said about judging her future actions, however. She knew she was greatly indebted to this family, and somehow Xena had to find a way to repay them.

Xena was glad to feel her moral compass spinning its little needle again, pointing her in a direction that was good and true. This sense of right and wrong had regained its strength for the first time since abandoning Gabrielle. She shivered noticeably at this thought. Perhaps she was a better person for allowing Eli into her life.

The members of the small family that had taken her in were amazed by the rate of her recovery. She had indeed lost much of her weight, but regained it quickly. She ate everything that was offered to her and slept until the bags under her eyes faded down to nothing.

The family gave her space and didn't ask too many questions. It wasn't until they requested that she eat with them that they had any contact beyond the basic care they gave her. She was thankful for the time they gave her to recuperate, and by the time her presence at the dinner table was requested, she was well prepared to answer or deflect any questions they might have, or so she thought.

The meal began in silence. An old woman sat at one head of the table and the old man at the other; two young girls, a toddler and Xena sat in between. After a few bites, Xena cleared her throat. They all looked at her with a curiosity they could no longer contain.

"I'm Xena. I come from a distant land in the west." The most awkward silence Xena had ever experienced ensued. Her words echoed back at her in her head. She tried to brush it off. "Who was the man that saved me?"

"His name was Junjie. He was my son." The old man's breath caught in his throat as he breathed deeply. " I am Liang and my wife's name is Chen. This is Bao, Jun, and Shing, his children."

Xena was speechless. Finally finding her voice, she croaked rhetorically, "Why did he save me?" Unexpectedly, the old woman had an answer.

"He had a heart for those in need. And..." she hesitated for a fraction of a second, "you look exactly like his wife."

"His wife is Greek?" She asked in surprise.

"No, she was Chinese."

Xena stammered, "Was? You mean she's dead too?" She had taken the only parent these children had left, "I'm sorry." The truth tore at her, and she didn't ask to be forgiven for this new offense. She let it haunt her and receded into her mind for a moment of silence. Yet she couldn't help the question that burned inside her, straining to get out. After a while, she said, "What do you mean, I look like her then? I'm not Chinese."

The entire table starred at her. Finally, the old woman spoke.

"You certainly look Chinese."

"No, I really don't." More silence stretched out before them.

"Bao, go get my little mirror from my boudoir." The oldest girl got up obediently and ran from the room. The quiet little boy, probably Shing as it was the only boys name Liang mentioned, sat across from Xena and stared unabashedly, not touching his food. Little Bao came back quickly, scurrying to her grandmother's side. It must not be a very large house, for her to return so quickly.

"Go give it to Xena."

The girl approached Xena cautiously, avoiding direct eye contact, and handed her a small mirror. Xena looked at her reflection. She had to resist the urge to look over her shoulder to see who was being reflected in the glass. She knew no one was behind her, she would have heard them. And yet, the person staring back at her looked like a familiar stranger. Gone were the steel blue eyes, replaced with a dark earthy brown that slanted elegantly at the corners. Her nose was different as well. Instead of being straight and thin, it had widened itself slightly and hugged closer to her face. The arcs of her eyebrows were still the same as was the strong jaw line and her nearly black hair, though it seemed heavier and much straighter. Xena was bewildered. Why had she been reborn as a daughter of the land of Chin? Her body had seemed so familiar that first eventful day, and the villagers she had passed seemed so hostile and scared, as if she had stuck out as a foreigner like a sore thumb on the hand of the land of Chin. And her skin… Xena would have noticed a slightly darker complexion when she had examined her new body upon waking up. No, her skin had been the same color it had always been. So what had changed?

"I looked like this when you first found me?" She asked as calmly as she could. Everyone nodded, except the little boy, who just kept staring. Xena set this new development aside for later inspection. All she could do was roll with the punches, and roll she did.

"Where am I?" The family looked their puzzlement at the sudden change of gears.

"You are in the land of Chin."

"OK, but where in Chin?" Xena looked from one end of the table to the other. Liang puffed out his chest.

"The true land of Chin, the Wei kingdom in the north. We are a 5 day journey to the East of Hsia, within the loop of the Yellow river."

Xena was amused by his pride, but she kept her smile to herself. He was even starting to sound like a man from Chin. They always had thought of themselves as the greatest civilization on earth. It also reminded Xena of most Greeks…

"Ah, then I think I know where I am. I've travelled far. At least 1,600 miles. And that is if I had walked in a straight line." She glanced around at the shocked faces that were now looking at her. "What? I've known women who have walked farther."

"Not in the state you were in, I'm sure." Chen said softly. Xena was impressed at her strength. That was something else that marked this household s different from the Chin she remembered. Unlike that Chin, this woman was allowed a part in the conversation, allowed to have her own say. Chen even reminded her a bit of Lao Ma. The name reminded her of the surname this family had not yet revealed.

"What is your family name?"

"Zhu." Liang's voice hardened. Xena did not voice the question, but she couldn't help but wonder at his reaction. Instead she filled yet another moment of awkward silence with mouthfuls of vegetables, beans, and milk.

This is how they ate the rest of their meal. The adults focused on their plates and the children stole curious glances between bites. When they were finished they refused Xena's help with the cleanup, insisting that she still needed her rest. Finally defeated, Xena returned to her little room where the returned guilt brooded over her while she slept. She had known it would be too easy for her to give up responsibility for the recent death of Junjie. Even Eli's immense love couldn't return the father of those orphaned children.