Chapter 17

Xena lay back on her pillow and continued reading her scrolls. She blinked, then re-read. She sat up, looking around. Seeing and hearing no one, she read aloud;

"…'you shall love your neighbor as yourself.' 10Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. 11 Besides this you know what hour it is, how it is full time now for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed; 12 the night is far gone, the day is at hand. Let us then cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light."

Xena set down the scroll and stared into the fire, remembering.

...

Gabrielle was pacing by the fire, sucking on the sharpened tip of a quill, her face and hands covered in ink. It was her restless tongue that brought the question from Xena.

"What are you muttering to yourself?" She asked the bard.

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself. That's what Eli said, wasn't it? I'm trying to remember his wording. And I'm not sure about the rest of it, either." She picked up her scroll and read aloud the last paragraph. "What d'you think? Too preachy?"

"Well you're supposed to be preaching, aren't you?" Xena said through a yawn, "They're asking for your guidance, you should give it to them."

"I know, but it's a lot of pressure having this authority. What if I don't stay true to Eli's message?"

"Then I'm sure he'll throw fire bolts down and cook you. No big deal Gabrielle, don't worry about it."

"But it's a huge deal!" The bard was getting excited. "It's a message of truth that people must hear! Oh WHY did Eli not keep his own scrolls? It would be so much easier if I had a journal or something to reference!"

"I dunno. Gabrielle, go to bed." The bard sighed and flopped down on the other side of the fire from Xena.

"No, you go ahead. I've got to finish this letter first. Paul left this one up to me, I can't let him down."

"He left it to you because you're a master at the love thing. Just let go, it'll come to you." Gabrielle nodded absent-mindedly, suddenly scribbling on with urgency. Xena rolled over and closed her eyes, hoping this meant Gabrielle had overcome her writer's block and would soon come to bed. She fell asleep waiting.

...

A single tear rolled down her cheek as the details of that night became clear to Xena for the first time in over 400 years. She was holding solid proof in her hands that Gabrielle had lived and breathed, that she had camped and shared so many things with her. She cradled the document in her arms, trying not to let her tears fall on the precious parchment.

How many times Xena re-read that small paragraph she didn't know, but she was eventually interrupted by a knock at the door. Xena's tears had dried away, but her voice cracked a bit as she called out her permission for the visitor to enter. A man that she recognized from the night before came in, followed by Misha. Unlike last night the light from the fire was bright, and it lit up the first man's fiery white hair and blood-red eyes. She had seen an albino before, and was careful not to stare.

"Well?" Misha said, clapping his hands together. "How is it going?"

"I recognize its writing. It… reminds me of a friend I once had. It's wonderful to read such words." The warmth of her own smile spread through her, calming her and making her strong.

"The gospel is not a gift to make one happy. The gospel is a truth by which God will transform." The albino lips barely moved with their whisper, but Xena targeted the speaker immediately with her eyes. Another die-hard slave of Eli. She tried to be patient with them, after all her daughter had been Eli's messenger.

"So did you go to seminary school as well?" Xena's voice was light and conversational. She was careful not to betray her exasperation. She tried to have patience with extreme religious devotion, after all, her daughter had been the messenger of Eli. The man nodded and looked at his toes.

"Oh, right! Your time here has proven me as being a terrible host. This is Vladimir. Vladimir this, as you already know, is Xena."

"So were you a commoner, too?" She asked Vladimir.

"You were a commoner?" Vladimir's voice was slow and methodical, again barely above a whisper. Xena raised her eyebrow at Misha. He was blushing furiously, but stuck out his chin.

"Yes. Yes, I was."

"Nothing wrong with that." Said Vladimir. Without his robe Xena was sure he would disappear from sight, like a translucent shadow. He was strangely beautiful. He brushed some of his wild hair off of his face. "I wish I had been raised by simple farmers." Misha blushed even harder.

"Well, anyway Xena, I'm glad to see you so happy with the word of God. In fact, I think you can keep it! You seem like a woman with places to go, and I would feel better if the word of God could follow you." Xena allowed herself to look her surprise at Misha's words. She stood and placed her hand on his shoulder, looking at him straight in the eye. She stood an inch above him, and he seemed a little intimidated.

"Thank you, Misha." She said warmly, giving his shoulder a firm squeeze. "You don't know what this scroll means to me."

"Just promise me one thing;" Misha said, laughing nervously, "just say you'll read what's behind the words as well as letting the actual words bring you comfort. Don't let your memories get in the way of the truth."

"Oh, I will." She said, perhaps a little sarcastically. "I'll see if any of it helps me. Then I will decide on what path to take." She thought she sounded a little cryptic, but she didn't want to give too much away.

"The gospel is not a decision to make. It is a truth to receive and embrace with faith." Xena raised both her eyebrows at Vladimir. He seemed to surpass even Xena with clever one-liners. They seemed to make up his entire speech pattern.

"So when can I leave?" Now that she wasn't tied down by the desire to read the scroll dowel to dowel Xena was antsy to go. She might as well get the whole dirty business over with and go to the Zhu's, besides she hated staying in one place.

"You don't have any questions for us? I'd love to sit down and have a theological discussion."

"No, Misha, maybe some other time." Like she'd ever come back to this desolate place.

"You'll come back?" Misha sounded surprised. Xena had to admit she owed these people a lot.

"No, I don't think so." She said. The two men looked at each other. Misha looked befuddled, but Vladimir had a wry smile on his face. "But thank you for all your hospitality. If I still had my money…"

"It seems you were stripped of it before we got to you."

"That would explain why I was on the ground. Although, why wouldn't they take Joxer… My horse," she added in response to their confused faces.

At this Misha smiled. "Oh, I think he put up a bit of a fight, if I had to hazard a guess. There seemed to have been a lot of scuffing around where we found you. I'm no tracker, but it wouldn't have taken a genius to see a battle there."

Xena was surprised. She would have guessed that Joxer would have been too flighty to stay and fight on anyone's behalf.

"Where is Joxer?" Xena asked, suddenly concerned for her horse.

"Oh, he's being cared for. Would you like to see him?"

"I'd like to leave with him."

Xena did not enjoy the look of disappointment on Misha's face. Give it up, Misha. Xena thought.

"Look, I'm on a mission, and I want to get it over with as quickly as possible. I am grateful for your hospitality, but really I can't stay." Misha nodded, trying to look more cheerful. Xena saw right through him though and shrugged off her guilt. At least she wouldn't be taking advantage of their kindness anymore; she didn't want to eat them out of house and home… or their temple, or whatever. What Xena was doing was for the best. She looked to Vladimir for help, and he nodded.

"Misha." Vladimir said just as quietly as before, "You can't capture the wind." Xena hid a snort of laughter with a cough. Vladimir was growing on her. That was something Gabrielle would have said about her. She frowned, thinking of her cheery little companion, the love of a life too long lived. And, if Eli was right, she'd be living without her another few millennia, into an uncertain amount of time. She'd be completely alone, except for Eli who kept popping up randomly, and eventually Aphrodite, once she found her. Xena hoped against hope she wouldn't run into Ares. She couldn't imagine dealing with him following her around forever like a temperamental puppy. If Aphrodite had no powers she very much doubted that Ares did, but that wouldn't make him any less manipulative.

Misha cleared his throat gently and looked at her expectantly. Xena made an, 'aaand, what do you want?' gesture, complete with a face.

"Sorry, I was just saying that you should come up with me and, um, get some supplies or something from um, Nika. For your trip?"

"I'm sure we'll find enough to eat on the road, Misha."

"Follow me."

Misha looked a little concerned, and he stumbled over his words nervously as they walked through the stone passages. Xena wondered if she really had so much against Ares that the look that came to her face as she thought of him brought a touch of fear to Misha's voice. After all, Ares had saved Gabrielle and her daughter, had saved Xena's life in doing so, and at a great personal loss, too. She was indebted to him to this day, though she had returned him to his godhood. Even still, the idea of being followed and harassed into eternity did not appeal to her in the slightest.

The small party was greeted by a cheerful and rosy-cheeked Annika as they stepped into her little kitchen. Soon Xena was laden down with a couple week's worth of cured meat and a bag of horse feed. The Slaves-of-Eli had tried to insist that she take more, but she was barely convinced that she would die without what they did give her. She hadn't been through this country in the dead of winter, though, so she heeded their advice to an extent.

"Yer skin 'n bones, ya lil' turkey! Gwan! Here, take it!" Her name and accusation had sounded like a bit of an oxymoron, but Xena finally sighed and assented to take one bulging package from Annika, leaving the other two in the young woman's arms. She threw the remaining down hard on a wooden table and glared at Xena, but it didn't take long for her face to break back into a smile. She raised a bottle to her lips and said over the ceramic, "Yer a tough cookie ta crack, that ya are, yesssir!" She took a hardy swig and winked. Xena couldn't help but return the smile.

"Yes Annika, I like doing things my way." Xena said, and walked out the door, following Misha and Sasha to her horse with one large parcel under each arm. Annika bustled after her with her own load.

"What now?" Xena said, half annoyed and half amused.

"Oh don't ya worry 'bout a thing, ya hear? This here's fer me!" Xena sighed and didn't push further. She had a feeling that she was lying, but let it rest. If she was that Tartarus-bent on sending her off well equipped, then maybe she shouldn't insult her by continuing to refuse. This was hard to do, as this meant she had to swallow her pride and accept more charity.

Sure enough, Xena caught Annika tucking something into one of her saddlebags out of the corner of her eye, then saw her scurry away again. Xena took a breath, and let it go.

"Misha," Xena said, catching his hand in her own, "take my horse."

"What? …No!" He looked appalled.

"Misha, you saved my life…"

"Xena, you're horse saved your life. We just took you in. Besides, you are about to cross a frozen tundra that stretches out for weeks of travel. You would die out there. I would know, this is my home."

Xena opened her mouth but Misha waived her down.

"Ya wanna do WHAT? What are ya crazy or summat? Git outa here, and take that damned horse, we don wan him. Too skinny, see! Now git outa here afore we change our mind and eat him! G'wan!

Xena furrowed her brow but mounted Joxer. She had argued enough with these people, at this point she just wanted to go. She reached for the reigns but Vladimir had already grabbed hold of them.

"Xena, don't forget about us. And don't forget about Eli. He loves you."

"So I heard. Vladimir-" Xena reached down to him, and Vladimir put his hand in hers. Xena squeezed his hand tight, and let her spirit grab tighter. A rush of love swept through her as she felt the soul of her daughter in the albino's hand. She opened her eyes and smiled at Vladimir, who looked unnerved for the first time since they had met.

"Xena, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes."

"My past is made of more than mistakes, Vladimir." She smiled, a tear in her eye. He must have felt a bit of her soul upon contact, too. "It was good meeting you. I – maybe I'll come back, someday." Vladimir nodded, looking as though he was not quite sure of what had just happened. Misha looked interested.

"Good bye Misha, Annika." Joxer stomped on the ground as Xena made him turn on the spot. Misha and Annika opened the doors wide and Xena rode out into a world of glaring light.