Chapter 21

All night Xena laid on her soft furs, waiting restlessly for the morrow. All 400 years spent at the mercy of the four winds, the 2 years spent travelling around the East, the anguish and frustration spent looking and waiting for Gabrielle could come to a point the next day at noon. Time dragged on for eternities and still the night stretched out before her. Finally dawn broke, and she went hunting to pass the time. She brought home a deer, a large bird, and a rabbit, but still she had to wait. She did her forms, and she sweat away the time until finally, noon came.

The sun was at its highest when Xena's presence was announced at the Aravt's tent. Gaining admission, she drew aside the flap of the tent with the back of her hand.

The sun glowed through the gold fabric, covering every thing in a rich yellow light. Jianjun sat in the corner on a large soft chair. Xena had wondered about how best to touch him. He bowed and offered her a seat. She was surprised at the close proximity she had with him, but she took advantage of it. As they began discussing in depth the problems that building a wall would have, she grasped his shoulder as if to tell him something important. She reached through, just as Eli had told her she could, and felt his soul.

A flurry of images raced through her mind as she made contact with him. It was much different from the moment she shared with Vladimir. But he was just as familiar. It was Gabrielle. It had to be. The familiar essence of this man washed over her, and she was glad to be sitting down. She tried to take in the truth, hardly daring to believe. It was really Gabrielle. Xena's heart was racing a mile a minute. Gabrielle. Finally Xena would know, finally she could see for herself how her soul was doing in this life. So this must be the ultimate reason Eli sent her here. But then why were her initial reactions so violent? The violent responses worried her. Why had she wanted, if even for a split second, to attack Gabrielle's soul? Maybe it had just been an adrenaline rush, and her automatic response was to defend. It was her nature, after all. Or, maybe Eli had not wanted her to meet Gabrielle quite yet, not before she had done whatever task he wanted her to do. Suspicion and mistrust whirled around in her head as Xena tried to fathom the immensity of this discovery. She had found Gabrielle.

He did not seem surprised at the sudden intimacy he felt with her. Xena tried to x-ray his soul through his eyes, and he simply smiled. Just like Gabrielle; a simple girl to most, but with an incredible depth. She had seen Gabrielle's soul as a warrior in a different life before, and this man was no different. Powerful, unbending. This man knew his purpose in life, just as Gabrielle had known that she belonged at Xena's side, fighting as her friend. Her best friend. Her soul mate. And now they were rejoined. But they couldn't be. Xena did not want to bring her darkness to Gabrielle's new life, and she especially didn't want to explain her betrayal and pseudo immortality to those deep knowing eyes. She snapped her arm back sharply and got up from her seat. Though she thought he must already have darkness in his life, as he was the leader of a great army. The well-dressed Aravt watched her as she crossed the room, his eyes still smiling.

"Why are you so afraid?" he asked.

"Afraid? No. I'm just ah… not used to being treated with so much respect by a superior, that's all." Xena forced herself to look him straight in the eye, but his smile grew wider.

"You're a woman." he said simply. Xena's heart raced as she caught herself, halting any reaction. She could take this man on, if it came to that. But an entire army surrounded her. Her brain immediately started churning, looking for a way out of this mess.

"It's ok. I could tell when you touched me. I have a gift with people. I will not hand you over to the guards though, you are much too valuable." That could mean so many things. She was still on her guard.

"How could I be valuable to you?"

"You have a mind for war. We've been building walls for centuries now, but nobody has figured out their uselessness until now. We both see it for what it is."

"Yet you still want to build more?" Xena thought his pompousness was showing through again. She had liked her own Gabrielle much better, yet this man was drawing her in with his eyes. He filled her with a lustful hunger she hadn't felt in over 400 years.

Jianjun shrugged. "What can I say, it's good for morale. The Wei kingdom is filled with simple people, it doesn't take much to please them."

"Yeah. It only takes hundreds of thousands to build a useless wall." He ignored her interruption. He was pacing now.

"Xena, I am not so simple. I want more than just a constant struggle with raiders. I want you to be my advisor."

"Ares…?" Xena growled. But this didn't feel like Ares. Xena's senses were sharp, and she could almost see the little bard pacing the tent instead of this aggressive warrior.

"What?"

"You want to suck me deeper into this war? I want freedom, I want to leave. I am not meant to follow orders and kill somebody else's foe." She was thoroughly concvinced that only her presence and her watchful eye was needed in this army, her sword was only to be used to keep her there. Eli had made her soft.

"But you won't leave, because you know that this is your true calling, this is what you're good at. Junjie, you have the opportunity to save thousands of farmers from bandits who live off of what they steal from others. Besides, I know you won't leave… because you found me." Xena was caught off guard. She hadn't anticipated that Gabrielle would recognize her. What did this man know?

"What do you mean," she said, trying to sound exasperated, "What makes you think that you mean anything to me?"

"When you touched me. Things came to me; images, thoughts, smells. Our lives are intertwined Junjie, I know this and you can't tell me otherwise. I've spoken to you for mere seconds, but I think you have already captured my heart."

A tear formed in Xena's eye. This man was now sounding anxious, vulnerable, the way Gabrielle could always lay herself out there, completely letting Xena in. This ability to lay herself bare was one of Gabrielle's strengths.

"Tell me," Xena said cautiously, "What all did you see?"

"A lot of confusing images, some fighting, some very intimate." Xena blushed, but she pouted aggressively to cover it up.

"I saw myself doing strange stretches in a sunny gold field with you, being protected by you from many men with swords as I lay helpless and dying, a lot of other fighting, where I was fighting by your side, and- other things." Now it was his turn to blush. It seemed to Xena that he had seen what she had seen when they had connected. "Junjie I know we have fought together before, let's fight together again! It is what we've been made for, to fight side by side until we collapse onto our furs with exhaustion. Xena, Lets ride into battle-"

"Where did you hear that name?" she said sharply

"-once more!" he finished, his eyebrows shooting up. "I don- I don't know, it just came out." Xena was weeping openly now, and she let her tears fall without shame. She was so close to believing, to accepting that this was Gabrielle.

"Jianjun, do you really- are you sure this is the path you want to take? One of war?" Eli had been training her to keep her will in check, to hold her tongue, to humble herself and know when not to fight. Why the sudden 180?

"Xena, I know you are trying to keep a low profile here, but things can be arranged so that it can stay that way. Besides, I think it was already decided, this is our destiny. Xena, be my champion once more."

Every time her name was spoken it dug deep and stirred her heart, but Xena still wasn't sure if she was completely convinced. It occurred to Xena that Gabrielle, that is, Jianjun was taking the discovery of his 'soul mate' rather well. A bit too well. She eyed him suspiciously. She didn't want to be taken in. What if this was just Ares trying to make her his princess once more… was he capable of duplicating Gabrielle's soul? Or, had Ares trapped Gabrielle's soul and was now using it to bait her?

As if reading her mind, Jianjun spoke quickly, "I've been forewarned that I would meet someone like you before. I visited the best monk of Confucianism around." It was the second time this man had directly addressed something she was in the middle of thinking about. It made the hairs on the back of her neck prickle.

"And what is Confucianism, anyway?" She was afraid Gabrielle had gotten into the spiritual dark arts in this life. That would explain the mind-reading. Then again Gabrielle had developed a knack for reading Xena's impassive face. Had that ability been drawn out of the past along with their shared visions?

"It is about training your mind to be above matter, silencing your will and the will of the world so that you may triumph over the things of this earth. Some monks can even control things with their mind."

"Sounds like a version of Lao Ma, I mean, Lao Tzu's book of wisdom." Jianjun's eyes grew wide.

"Yes! That is our holy book! How did you-?"

"Long story. So let's cut to the chase. You want to live a life of war. Isn't there more to life than that?" She needed to be sure her presence wouldn't be a curse like in Gabrielle's last life with her.

"Yes." Jianjun said, stepping closer to Xena, "There is you to share it with." As soft as butterfly wings, he brushed the side of her mouth with his lips.

Xena was overwhelmed. She just stood there, trying to take it all in. This was a Gabrielle she had not expected, and just finding her again was enough to make her heart pound in her ears. Then, without conscious thought, Xena leaned down and pressed her lips to his. It was over. There was no more struggle left within her. She accepted Gabrielle completely, taking in the new roughness and loving everything about her. Loving everything about Jianjun.

This was it, this was her soul mate. She sank her soul into his and they became one, separating and rejoining they rolled around on his furs and rich blankets until their love was satisfied beyond exhaustion. Then they slept, Jianjun curled awkwardly in the hollow of Xena's body as she slept on her side.

And for the first time, Xena dreamed. Her dreams were as filled with memories of Gabrielle as they were filled with violence and pain. She wondered as she watched her past played out in front of her, why weren't her dreams more happy? She had found Gabrielle, and wanted nothing more than to fulfill her every wish, yet her newly found sleep was filled with her past life, and she was lost in the memories of who Gabrielle had been.

When she awoke, she tried to cling to the last strands of dream that slipped out of her head. She lay there confused, remembering something that had been forgotten as soon as her eyes flicked open. All she could feel was a vague yearning for Gabrielle's love and purity. Brushing it aside, she snuggled close to Gabrielle's rougher form. She would be happy with whatever the fates gave her, as long as it was her beloved Gabrielle.