Chapter 5- Detentions

I went to my dorm, exhausted, but I knew I couldn't sleep. I had detention in an hour. I was too upset to eat at the moment. Dinner would have to wait. I pulled the parchment out of my pocket and stared at the name written on it.

Healer Sandra Hopkins.

I could contact her right now and be on my way to have these horrible things removed from my body. It would be so easy. So why was I hesitating? I didn't want theses scars did I? Of course not, they were ugly and gross.

I couldn't do it though. I walked down to the common room and over to the fire. I threw the parchment into it and watched it turn to ash. I wasn't ready for any of this. I could feel people staring at me, but I ignored them. I grabbed my book bag left the common room silently. I didn't have anything to say.

I headed towards the dungeons, hoping it would pass some time. I didn't know what I was waiting for. I didn't have anything to do. My parents were dead and now Crookshanks. The soul mate thing might have blown over for the school, but I knew the rest of the wizarding world wouldn't be yet. They were probably waiting for me and Snape to declare our everlasting lobe to each other. As if.

He didn't love anyone. I didn't think he even liked anyone. Harry got his happy ending so easily. I could see how good they were together. Why couldn't I have that? Not with him, but anyone.

I hated introspection. It never gave me any answers. Thinking about my problems didn't help and I knew that pretending they didn't exist wouldn't help. So what next? Did I need someone to help me? I would go to my mother, but she was gone. Did I need someone else to take care of me? I'd thought I was past that.

It would have to wait for later, because it was time for my detention. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I hoped he wouldn't make me clean caldrons. That wasn't something I enjoyed.

I paused outside his door before knocking. I was ten minutes early. Dinner was an hour long and I didn't want to be here any longer than I had to be. I walked to the other side of the hallway and sank down onto the stone floor. I could wait. I laid my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

I was so tired. So very tired.

I knew I'd fallen asleep as soon as I opened my eyes. I wasn't in the hall anymore, but I didn't recognize where I was. I looked around. It was much like a living room but I'd never been here before. The room was full of black and green furniture and had a fire roaring across the room. I was lying on a black sofa that was extremely comfortable. I snuggled into the warmth and sighed.

"An extra day of detention of course, Miss Granger." A soft voice said. I didn't move for a second and then I smiled.

"Of course." I agreed in a whisper. I turned over and saw Professor Snape sitting on another black sofa reading. It was a sight to see. I couldn't figure out what was different about him. Was he tanner? Was it just him not being in teaching robes?

I decided it didn't matter and I sat up, stretching. I was aware of how this could go very badly, but I propped my head up on my elbow and stared over at him curiously.

"You aren't angry." I said.

He looked up from his book, that had a familiar red cover, and smirked.

"Professor, what are you reading?" I said in a fearful voice. My eyes darted around for my bag, which was lying against his chair. Oh, shit.

"Oh shit is right, Miss Granger. I believe this earns you another two week of detention."

I opened my mouth in outrage, ready to let him have it.

"Or we could go get the headmaster's and your head of house's opinion. I'm sure they'd love to read this fascinating journal of yours. You're quite the vivid writer." He said offhandedly, looking back down to the page he was reading.

"Septemeber 17,

Dear journal,

I don't have much to say anymore. I'm pretty speechless."

He looked at me with curious eyes. I just stared at him blankly. I, of course, knew what came next.

" It seems that no matter how hard I scrub the blood will never come off. I'm not stupid, I know it's cursed onto me somehow, but still every night I have to try and get off me. Get it out of me.

So many things happened in that week I said I was visiting my parents. No, I wasn't, I'm sure they were long dead by then. I was locked in some cellar far away. It was cold there…"

His eyes fasten on mine, looking fearful.

"You never said?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Read more Professor, I'm such a vivid writer." I urged him and he paled.

"Miss Granger, I think that's enough for-

"Read it." I said in a steely voice.

"It was colder there than anywhere I'd ever been. I don't know why I bother to write down this entire nightmare. Don't I want to forget? Apparently not. He took my innocence and childhood. I don't remember when exactly but there were at least seven men that saw to me. And one woman too. I knew what was going to happen. None of them thought I would survive. But I didn't and one man left something with me. I didn't have it in me to kill a child, even one made out of such evil."

He stopped and looked up at me. I walked over to him and took the journal from his hands.

"Next time, don't touch my things." His black eyes held remorse and I knew I would forgive him for this. It felt wrong of me not to. He paid a price. No one should read those things.

"Promise me you won't touch any of my things without my permission." I insisted in an urgent voice.

"I promise I won't touch any of your things without your permission ever again." No one would doubt his promise.

"See that you don't." I put the journal back in my bag and sat down next to him.

"You'd only read the entries before the war." I said softly. He nodded.

"I'm sorry you had to read that."

He looked over at me with sad, confused eyes, "Why do hide so much from everyone?"

"It's easier that way and I could ask you the same thing."

"I don't anyone to tell." His lank black hair fell in his eyes and he tucked it behind his ear. It was something I'd never seen him do before.

"You know things that no one was ever supposed to know, Professor." I said softly.

He tensed, waiting for me to become angry again.

"I want an unbreakable vow that you'll never speak of it to anyone."

He turned to face me, his face defensive.

"Do you even know what you're asking?"

I nodded. "I've done a lot of research and it's a risk I'm willing to take."

" You didn't research our soul mate bound. That makes it completely different. Ever since our names appeared in that potion, we've been tied together in an inseparable way. If we were to part as of now I don't think we'd be able to. This vow would make that need to be around each stronger. Maybe too strong. You would go an hour without seeing me and suffer pain so excruciating… we just don't understand these ancient bonds. It's foolish to toy with them."

I was a bit surprised. " I wasn't told this."

"You told me not to mention it ever again."

"You failed to mention in your speech how it affected us physically. It that was Harry and Draco are always together? How is it they got together before the soul drawing?"

"It's extremely powerful, this bond, it's hard to resist."

I raised an eyebrow, astonished.

"I didn't say impossible." He clarified.

"But I feel no differently about you now that I did before!" I protested.

He chuckled, "Next Hogsmeade weekend, go away, out of the country and see what happens."

"Have you tried it?" I asked leaning in curiously.

He nodded, "And no you will never find out what happened. I'm afraid were stuck in each other's lives, Miss Granger."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. Things were always so complicated.

"Okay, I'll try it next weekend. That's when we go to Hogsmeade."

"It's approaching Midnight Miss Granger, I think you should go."

I tilted my head a bit and looked at him. He looked very uneasy.

"What bothering you?"

"You should really research this bond. It would answer a lot of questions."

He was purposely avoiding looking at me, which I found annoying. I moved closer to him, and felt a strange pull in my chest. I sucked in a breath.

"What's happening?" I whispered fearfully. It was like a whisper urging me closer and closer to him. I snatched my bag off the floor and fled before I made a fool of myself.

He was right though. I would have to do some research on this bond.

A/N: I am trying to time this perfectly. I dont want them to jump each other so soon, but I want to drag it out either. Let me know how I'm doing with the pace of the story. School starts back up so I wont update again till next weekend. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter.