Chapter 8- A Secret

The first thing I did when I woke up was shower. It'd been at least three days. I swore I would never ever go that long again. Cleaning Charms just don't feel the same as having an actual shower.

As I scrubbed my body I recalled Harry's comments last night. What had he been talking about? I knew avoiding his happiness would bite me in the arse. That was so selfish of me. Harry could have needed someone to talk to besides Draco.

I dressed with a renewed purpose, trying and failing to forget who brought me to bed last night. What a horrible choice of wording.

Harry was sitting in the common room on a couch, or rather on Draco. The common room was deserted and I frowned. Where was everyone?

"Mione!" Harry unfastened his mouth from Draco's neck long enough to glimpse me. He embraced me tightly, rocking me on my feet. I smiled at his childish behavior. I patted him on the back and pulled away.

"I heard what you said last night to Snape. What did you mean by that? What does you being older than Draco and him being older than me have anything to do with the bond?"

Harry flushed and looked over at Draco. Draco came up behind Harry and wrapped his arm around his waist. I looked on wistfully. Why couldn't I have that?

"Harry explained it to me, we thought you were with Severus this whole time you've been avoiding us." Draco said giving me a knowing look.

I flushed this time and looked away from them. "I'm sorry, I was just really jealous and I didn't want to make Harry unhappy."

"Snape wants you." Harry said suddenly. I glared at him, "Harry I don't think-

"Stop thinking then! You wanted to know what's going on, well here it is. Snape wants you more than he wants to breathe. Do you understand me Hermione? You're all he thinks about every moment of every day. He dreams about you and he knows where you are all the time. He's in pain because you've refused him. You have the right to do that, but I think you given up on him too quickly. I would have too if I was in your place, because It's hard to see him outside of the git we've always know and hated. I know what he's going through and he already loves you enough to go through that everyday for the rest of your life. You think you'll be able to marry someone else someday? You're sterile you know that right? You'll never have a child that isn't his."

Harry kept going, on and on, but I felt my ears clog up. That was true. It couldn't be.

"What?" I gasped out, chocking on air. Harry paused in his rant, trying to remember what he said to shock me.

"Harry should have eased into that one. He didn't have to go through what Severus is going through because we were already together. He can't imagine waiting months for me."

"I can't have kids with anyone but Snape? How does that work?" I said as if Draco hadn't spoken.

Harry sighed, "You're body would reject anyone else's child. Technically you'd be miscarrying over and over, but magically the child would never exist."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I already have a daughter."

Dead silence met my statement, but I was in too much shock to really grasp what I'd just admitted.

"Mione, when did you have a daughter?" harry asked slowly, with a weird tinge to his coloring.

I let out a bitter laugh, "Glamour Charms are a god send."

I was heading towards a dangerous place. I hadn't thought directly about her since the day she was born. I knew where she was. I could go to her…but not alone. I sighed. Did I want to see her?

Should I think about my own flesh and blood more often? Even if she was a monster's flesh and blood too. I placed her with a muggle relative of mine, my aunt Libby. She had always wanted a child. Libby didn't know the baby girl she cared for wasn't hers. The imperious curse works wonders. I should go see them. I really should.

"Hermione! You have a daughter! I thought you and Snape…." Harry trialed off hopefully, gaining back his usual cheer.

"The war left permanent damage Harry. Surely you haven't forgotten." I said coldly. He flinched away from me in horror.

Draco just stared at me with new eyes, "I heard talk of a revel. You were their plaything? They spoke highly of your spark of life. Said you fought like no other."

I sneered at him, "Did me a lot of good, didn't it?"

He nodded calmly, "Kept them interested. Kept you alive." I could sense his admiration and respect mixed with pity.

I stood up, "I've got to go, but I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Next stop, the dungeons.

The door opened before I even knocked. He looked down at me, and I felt my stomach flip. I sighed in frustration. Couldn't this stupid bond tell that I was busy?

"I have to go somewhere in muggle London. Now."

He raised an eyebrow and my stupid stomach flipped once again.

" I don't want a repeat of last time, so you'll need to come with me."

He sighed and motioned for me to come in. I shook my head.

"I need to leave now."

He glared down at me, for the first time since weeks.

"It doesn't matter that I was busy?"

"No." I said shortly. He looked at me for a long moment and then shut the door to his rooms.

"Lead the way." He muttered.

I walked out beyond the gate at the end of Hogwarts grounds.

"What day is it?"

"Monday, but about to be Tuesday."

I paused in confusion, "But it was Sunday when we came back from America."

"You needed extra sleep. I checked on you at lunch on Monday. It is almost midnight, or have you not even thought to check the time?"

I didn't answer him. I turned to face him. It didn't matter now, I'd already lost the day. I wondered distantly what I tell my teachers for class today.

"I am doing this for me and for me only. You're coming for one reason only. Don't ever think otherwise. I want you to wait outside when we get there and do not come inside the house. Do not ask questions once we're there."

He looked furious, "Is this dangerous?" Maybe I shouldn't be speaking to him that way? Too late now.

"No, but very personal."

"Something happened to you?" I nodded, seeing no sense in lying to him.

"Harry gave me more answers."

Snape shifted uneasily. "Which we'll discuss later. Come on." I gripped his left arm tightly, feeling his suck in a shocked breath, but I ignored it and Apparated.

My aunt's house was a simple plain one, but nice enough. I'd spent a lot of the summers there growing up. I always got the feeling that mom thought I was in the way. Snape transfigured a bush into a chair and sat there without a word.

I opened the door to the house and snuck in silently. Aunt Libby didn't ever need to know that I was here. I crept through the house until I made it to the nursery. I wondered how different she looked…and if she looked like him. I thanked got I hadn't had a son.

I eased up the stairs and pushed open the door that used to be my bedroom. Pink was everywhere, even in the dark I could tell that. A crib was up against the far wall and I made my way over to us with nervousness.

She was lying there, in a pink bundle, much bigger than the day she was born. She was still rather small, but my family was prone to shortness. She made a sudden movement and opened her eyes.

I let out a breath. She had my eyes, my eyes exactly. A smiled graced my face and then she let out a giggle and a yawn. My heart stuttered and raced. This was my daughter. My daughter. She didn't have to his…whichever his she was. She was mine.

She raised her hands and reached for me. I looked quite a bit like my aunt Libby, so I expected that. Could I pick her up without making her cry? I thought I could.

She was warm and smelled like baby shampoo. My aunt had taken good care of her. She snuggled into my arms and I sighed heavily. She would be turning a year old soon. I paced in a circle, waiting for her to fall asleep once more. It didn't take long and when she did I walked down the steps and out to where Snape was waiting.

He was still sitting there, with his eyes closed, a hint of a smile on his face. He looked up when emerged from the house. A strange expression crossed his face when he saw her in my arms. I hesitated before moving closer to him. He wouldn't hurt me, of course.

He opened his mouth to ask me something but stopped, frowning.

"She is my daughter, yes." I whispered. He shifted uneasily and scratched his leg. He was acting so strangely.

"I've already met her." He said finally and I just stared at him.

"What?"

A/N: Yikes..that was an intense chapter. I hope no one forgot she spoke of having a child! Let me know what you think and maybe some baby names? For the cutest (fictional) little girl in the universe? :)