Chapter Nineteen

'I had a brother' Dean started, he stared into the flames in the rough looking fireplace he made himself. Gabriel sat not that far away from him, silent and waiting for Dean to speak. There was only a few days left till full moon, the night the spirits were the strongest, the night they would march to the mountains and tear down the citadel of the now fallen gods of Eryri. There was no more time left for Dean to be silent. Gabriel may not have pushed him for answers, but the demand of truth was there in every glance of his amber eyes even without outspoken words.

'Not someone I actually knew' he continued. 'A human, a boy only a few years younger than me, the son of my father who was born in wedlock' he took a deep breath before continuing, he left out how he felt when he learnt that his father was a married man, not like he needed more to feel like a bastard kid that was to be ashamed of after the way his mother got rid of him, but it still felt like it made things worse.

'I told you I didn't know my father and that's true, by the time I learnt where to look for him he was gone, left his wife and son behind. I asked around in his hometown, but no one knew where he has gone, just that one dawn he joined the merchants traveling east to the main land or even further away.' He didn't let his eyes leave the yellow-orange flames of the fire that warmed his face, he knew Gabriel was listening he didn't need to look at him.

'Even so I was happy when I saw that boy and learnt that he was my brother' he continued. 'That maybe there will be someone who could be real family to me... but I didn't dare to go to him right away. Telling him that his father was disloyal, that he bedded a goddess on top of leaving his family' he shook his head. 'I watched him and there was enough weight on his shoulders already, he and his mother leading a hard life on their own.'

'I talked with him once' he continued after a pause. 'He was working for some merchants on the market and he almost got buried under a few bags of wheat by accident. I helped him, talked with him... wasn't ready to tell him who I was, but decided that I will go back to their town again when I headed back to the valley.'

'A few weeks later when I finally did they were dead, both of them' he said. 'Bled out and offered up to Leomas' he finally turned his head to look at the archangel. 'And the thing was that him I knew for years, the first god I met who was not spitting degrading insults in my face... I was furious at him, it didn't end well. He didn't kill me though, now I know why even if I didn't back then, but one thing I knew, what everyone knew... that you either bowed down to Leomas or you died... all gods bowed, I came home and hoped to be just insignificant enough to not have his attention on me any longer.'

'What sort of a god is he?' Gabriel asked, speaking for the first time in a long time.

'He's a fire god' Dean told him watching the dancing orange flames in the fireplace again. Gabriel didn't comment on the answer the demigod gave him. They were silent for long moments listening to the sound of the crackling fire.

'There is something you have to tell me' the archangel stated then and Dean had to take a steadying breath at his words, because he did not look forward to speak of this.

'Puck told me one day that hiding and hoping won't save our arses when Leomas decides that we all have to serve him, I agreed. We were looking and trying to come up with a solution, any solution... and then you descended from the sky, out of nowhere, like the answer, the key to end everything I feared.'

Dean could practically feel the angel's eyes on him and he didn't have to look to know that Gabriel was more focused on his words than before.

'First I was truly just curious, but sensing your power...' he stopped. 'I couldn't help thinking about how you could help me' he turned towards the angel because he had to look at him, had to show his face so that Gabriel could see that his words were nothing but the truth. 'I wanted to befriend you, get you on my side before you knew what the sides were at all... and then you asked my help to hide, listened to my words and put way more trust in me than you should have.' Gabriel's eyes narrowed at the last words. 'Posing as a god was not the only way for you' Dean added quietly. The archangel stayed silent for a moment.

'But you and Creide both agreed that it was, was she...'

'I said it was the only way, she just didn't start arguing with me in front of you. She knew me well, so she followed my lead.' Gabriel looked at him for another moment until the words completely sank in then he got to his feet. Dean noticed the tense set of his shoulders, he was getting agitated.

'Why? Why make me a god?' he asked.

'It was the simplest way to have you among the gods sooner or later and teaching you gave me time and opportunity to... get you close enough to me so that when it came down to it you would kill Leomas and any other god I wanted to get rid of.'

'You wanted a weapon' Gabriel concluded, it sounded crude and harsh the way the angel said it.

'In a way' Dean agreed with a light nod, stupidly grateful that he didn't have to look the angel in the eye as he was still turned away from him.

'You do realize that the spell that hides most of my power tainted my grace beyond repair' Gabriel spoke slowly and quietly but the edge of true anger was loud and clear in Dean's ears and when the archangel swiftly turned around the demigod had to look in the amber eyes locking on him, he was unable to turn away from the dark storm that was swirling in the golden depths. 'That I had to kill my vessel, a man who has offered himself up to me in good faith and loyal devotion, that I forced his soul out of his own body that I stained with bloodmagic, that I...' Gabriel stopped, shifted his eyes away and closed them. He took a deep breath obviously trying to keep his calm as his voice started to rise with each word that left his mouth. 'And for what?' he asked as he opened his eyes and looked at Dean again. 'So that I slay the enemies you are too weak to kill? I thought you knew who I was Deandalon, yet you thought you would need such deceit to get me to shed blood?' the angel's voice lowered and the anger vanished, or just Dean didn't hear it anymore, because for him it sounded nothing but cold and dangerous now, he also didn't like the way his full name rolled off the angel's tongue.

'Well I wanted to make sure I decided who's blood you shed' Dean answered honestly. Gabriel stared at him, his face all hard lines and eyes still storming with traces of anger. He stayed silent though, so did Dean.

'Did you lie to me?' Gabriel asked then, his voice not quite as cold as it was before.

'About what?' Dean asked and realized it was the wrong answer when Gabriel's jaw clenched.

'So you did' he concluded.

'I was honest about a lot of things, most things' Dean said quickly, but the angel shook his head lightly as he turned away again, the demigod got to his feet immediately, reaching out and grabbing Gabriel's upper-arm to get him to look at him again.

'I wasn't lying about... us' he said, not exactly knowing how to form his words smoothly the way he usually did. Gabriel let himself be turned, but he didn't look at Dean again. 'Puck was getting angry with me as I stopped working on how to get you to do what I wanted, because I simply liked being close to you... I wasn't lying about that' he repeated.

'Why should I believe a single word that comes out of your mouth Dean?' Gabriel asked. 'Now or ever again?' the demigod looked at him and his fingers were tightening around the angel's arm, feeling like any second now he will be gone...

'Because I want you... don't you want me the same?' he asked even if his chest tightened, fearing the answer he might get. Gabriel tensed.

'Dean...'

'I care for you, don't you care for me the same?' he asked next, repeating the angel's words in his own way, Gabriel shut his eyes again, but he didn't pull away. Dean felt a sliver of hope even if his chest tightened almost painfully as he knew what his next words would be.

'I love you... don't you love me the same?' Gabriel's eyes opened at the words spoken in an almost whisper. Dean's fingers were digging into his arms and the god tried to get his heavy beating heart under control. 'I wanted justice, I wanted safety, I wanted to live in peace, for once in my life I thought I had something that would make me victorious instead of being stomped in the dirt... I wanted to use you like a weapon in my hand, but I stopped thinking about any of it the second I could kiss you, Gabriel... I'm not lying... please just...'

'I don't know whether I should be more angry at you or my own stupidity' Gabriel said in an even tone. 'I saw you were not an dark, evil creature of this world, should not have assumed that it made you good or honest, but you're right that was just my misplaced trust. Seems like I was just desperate enough to be easily misled.'

'I followed my own agenda and I know this may be something you are not willing to forgive, but...'

'Well you're not making that any easier' Gabriel cut him off, snapped almost angrily. His amber eyes were still locked at some random spot in the room and not Dean.

'What?' asked the demigod in confusion. Gabriel pulled his arm out of Dean's grasp as he turned and stepped him aside, facing the fireplace.

'As you are not even asking for it' the angel said quietly. Dean looked at him for long moments, how the orange flames lighted up his face and made his hair look like burning, glowing gold. His words didn't clear Dean's confusion right away, but then it suddenly hit him. Ask for... forgiveness.

He stepped closer to the angel only hesitating for a moment before reaching out. He let his hand trail down Gabriel's spine a bit before he closed the distance even more, his hand traveling up to the angel's shoulder, then stroking down his arm while he stepped close enough that his chest was almost touching the archangel's back.

'Forgive me' he asked him quietly. 'Forgive my lies, forgive my deceit, forgive me that I stayed silent for this long.' His entire body was tense as the words left his mouth, his hand staying still on Gabriel's right arm and even thought he was close enough to feel the warmth of the angel's body he didn't dare to move closer, closing the distance between them, to lean his head to his, to bury his nose in his hair and just breath.

When he felt Gabriel's left hand covering his on the angel's arm relief made him let out a shuddering breath he didn't know he held.

'I forgive you' the angel said in the same strange tone he repeated Dean's casual phrases, quiet and with a whisper of uncertainty in it, like it was the very first time he ever uttered these words and they felt too unfamiliar to be said with ease. The demigod finally closed the tiny distance that was between them, raising his other arm too to wrap it around the angel's torso. His chest pressed firmly to Gabriel's back, his cheek at his temple until he turned to put a kiss on the edge of his hair, only a long and steady touch of lips. He stayed like that for minutes, just being close, just letting the warm relief wash over him as he could be close, that he was not pushed away like he expected to be.

'I love you, do you love me the same?' he asked again as he didn't get an answer before, there was one moment – that felt like eternity – when the angel stayed silent.

'Yes Dean' he said then. 'I feel like I do.'

It may have not been said with complete conviction, but it was enough for Dean, more than enough. He let his hold ease up on Gabriel but only until he could circle the angel with a step to be in front of him. The angel kissed him before he could hesitate.

Their kiss was slow and deep and Dean felt like he had to pour everything he felt into it, he usually didn't get a second chance if something went wrong and more than ever he was grateful that he got one now. His hand slid into the soft honey-brown hair as Gabriel tilted his head up and Dean had to trace his other hand along his jaw and stroke down his neck. When Gabriel finally reached out to him and wrapped an arm around his waist Dean felt the last traces of tension slip away from him.

He didn't want to stop kissing his lips for a second and he didn't want to let go either, he kept his body flush against the angel's. Then Gabriel's other arm came up and landed on the back of his thigh and Dean felt as the angel moved, pushing him backwards while practically pulling one of his legs out from under him. He lost his balance and instinctively grabbed on to Gabriel more, he didn't fell down, the angel descended to the floor slowly, easily laying him down in the process, holding him up even with one arm as he weighted nothing. The balance of the harsh movement and the almost gentle way he held him close to his own body while lowering both of them down made Dean's body hum with contentment and the need of feeling more.

He was surprised for a moment when he felt softness under his back since he didn't have any fur or blankets before the fireplace, but he didn't pay attention only to the feel of the archangel's body descending on his, their lips still sealed together in a kiss. His body craved the touch he feared he won't ever feel again. Dean pulled the archangel even closer while moving his legs to let Gabriel settle between them. Then Gabriel pulled his lips away and before Dean could lean up to capture them again or pull him down close the angel put a hand on his collarbones, right below his throat keeping him in place and leveled him with a look.

'Don't ever lie to me again' he said slowly, his voice an odd mixture of a plea and a threat.

'Never again' Dean told him and he meant it, he wanted nothing but to have someone he will not have to betray and who will not betray him. Gabriel looked at him for another moment before kissing him again. He let out a small surprised sound when air hit his skin and he opened his eyes just in time to see how both his and Gabriel's clothes were whispering away into nothing, like the materials were soft sand that even the smallest breeze could blow away. It tingled his skin from neck to toe and he smiled up at the angel a little.

Gabriel kissed away his smile then let his lips wander. The feel of the wet slide of Gabriel's mouth descending to his neck made goosebumps appear on his entire body as a shiver of excitement went over him. The angel didn't stop there, but continued to map out his skin and Dean leaned his head back baring his throat, he hissed out a pleased breath as the angel bit down gently on his offered flesh. Fingers roamed his naked chest and Dean couldn't keep his hands to himself either. One hand buried in the gold-brown locks, the other digging into the muscles on the angel's back, Gabriel's body hovered slightly above him and Dean wanted to be skin to skin, but the angel didn't allow to be pulled down. Another small bite – this time to the other side of his neck – made him stop trying as he gave control over to Gabriel completely. Noticing the change right away the archangel let out a low satisfied hum as he rolled his hips down to Dean's. The demigod pushed up his hips in response, making the touch stronger and not even trying to silence the moan leaving his lips.

He was greedy for the touches after days of pain and sorrow, he wanted to bath in the angel's warmth. His hands were roaming Gabriel's back as they kissed and he didn't care how needy he sounded when the archangel finally started to move his hips a little, pressing their groins together just the right way, feeling the angel's arousal made his own lust flare up even more bringing him to full hardness. He kissed the angel's jaw then every other inch of skin he could reach while Gabriel too showered him in the touch of his lips, but as his skin heated up by the want burning in his veins he knew he wanted more, and he wanted it immediately.

He pushed his hips up again while trying to pull the angel closer.

'Gabriel' he breathed quietly. 'I want to feel you.'

'Yes' the angel responded and pulled away a little Dean almost let out a displeased noise, but his brain caught up with what Gabriel wanted and he turned around at the first touch on his arm. Gabriel kissed the back of his neck then slowly slid his lips down his spine while both of his hands slid down his back digging into his muscles all the way from his shoulders to the small of his back. Dean let out a pleased moan at the feel of it, how almost possessive it seemed. Gabriel put open mouthed kisses on his back, tracing the edges of the protection ward seared into his skin on his nape and between and over his shoulder blades. His right hand descended lower, following the curve of his ass before spreading his fingers to grab at it tightly then moving to slide down right to his opening. Gabriel's mouth was on Dean's shoulder and he made a small trail of bites on his skin following the line of muscle until he reached his neck, there he opened his mouth more and sucked the flesh between his lips just as a now slick finger slid into him.

Dean moaned not restraining his voice as the finger got deeper and deeper and he might've pushed into it a little, but soon Gabriel's free hand grabbed his hips and stilled him. It was strange to just lie almost passively, every other time he was happy to explore the archangel's body with his hands and his mouth, make him lie back and watch how he climbed up to the heights of pleasure from the way Dean touched him, stroked him, licked and sucked at his flesh, how he rode him while in search for his own release. This time everything in the angel told him that he had to give up control, that his lover needed to let him bend his body to his will, show that he was ready to let go and give everything the angel wanted from him. And he was ready, he wanted nothing more but to be taken apart by the angel's hands, to be consumed by his light and warmth.

He groaned loudly as the second finger slid inside of him, the stretch of muscle a delicious pain that just made him even harder, more eager to be taken by his angel. Then Gabriel reached that spot inside of him, pushing his fingers down and all of Dean's muscles clenched in pleasure as he let out a throaty moan. Gabriel did not need long weeks to learn his body, he already played it like an instrument that was attuned just to him and him alone.

'More Gabriel, I want you' he said out loud between his heavy breaths as he couldn't move with the angel holding him in place so effortlessly. Gabriel slid in a third finger in response, almost all the way in one push, giving him what he asked for, and he only felt a second of pain before it morphed to pleasure as the angel stroked down onto the bundle again that made Dean's body light up with delicious fire, his skin tight from the heat burning underneath it.

He moaned and panted as the angel moved his fingers in and out of his body, sometimes spreading them a little or twisting just the right way for pleasure to rip through him and in mere minutes he lost all form of coherency, even his thoughts were nothing but a litany of the angel's name and his words of want. Then the fingers were gone suddenly, but the demigod didn't have time to vocal his displeasure about the emptiness, as he felt the head of Gabriel's prick pushing into him past the tight ring of muscle. His hands tightened in the soft fur under his fingers as he moaned the angel's name almost inarticulately.

Gabriel grabbed each of his wrists with his hands and pinned them down next to his head as he slowly pushed in all the way, his length spreading Dean open as his body took him greedily. Once he was buried deeply as far as he could go he stopped for a few moments, his breath coming in short gasps just as Dean's, his skin just as hot and sweaty as the demigod's. He put a kiss on the side of Dean's neck where he sucked a red mark into his skin before then he started to move.

The first few thrusts slow and deep, he pulled almost all the way out before pushing back in and Dean answered with long deep moans every time he was filled up again. Gabriel didn't stay slow for long though. The first time he slammed back into Dean's body with force made the demigod lose the rest of his mind's clarity as his body screamed in pleasure.

Gabriel pounded into him as Dean moaned out his pleas for more, he was close, he felt it. His own hard member only getting the lightest of friction from the soft fur under them and he couldn't reach down as both his hands were held in place in Gabriel's grip, but he didn't mind he wanted this to last as long as possible. He raised his hips up from the ground as much as he could his legs spreading wider on their own accord and the slight change of angle was perfect, he howled and groaned and repeated yes over and over again as the angel was hitting just the right spot now with every sharp, hard thrust. He heard that Gabriel was moaning as well, but he was too far gone to pay proper attention. It didn't take much longer and he was coming from the waves of pleasure washing over his body, untouched just from the feel of Gabriel inside of him, the way his hard length filled him up drove him over the edge. His body trashed in Gabriel's grip as his dick pulsed with his release, his muscles clenching down, tearing out a loud groan from the archangel still moving inside of him. Gabriel lost his rhythm already too, his thrusts were erratic until he too reached his climax, pushing in even deeper as he emptied himself into the tight wet heat of Dean's body.

Gabriel pulled out and rolled over, lying on his back next to Dean, the god slid closer to drape an arm over the angel's chest. Both of them were silent and just panting heavily for long moments, bathing in the after-glow without a word. Dean felt like he was ready to fall asleep next to the archangel in a second, his body tired and sated, his mind hazy and only clearing out slowly. He felt as his lips curled up into a small smile, because Gabriel has not been this untamed and fervent with him before, it was a novelty that made Dean's body shiver with sparks of lust even as completely spent as he was at the moment.

'Dean' the angel spoke.

'Hm?'

'Don't make me leave you' this time there was no edge of a threat in his voice, it was nothing but a plea.

'I won't' Dean replied, Gabriel turned his head and looked at him. He must've seen the truth in his eyes as he nodded after a moment and pulled closer so that they could rest in each others arms.

TBC