Part 2.
The pub was, busy. Initially Sian didn't recognize anyone, everyone was new and a few had turned to acknowledge her entrance, before swiftly going back to their conversations. She thought she recognized Becky behind the bar but wasn't sure and suddenly had a nervous thought that Michelle might still work there. That wouldn't be awkward at all; Ryan had been the cause of so many problems between her and Soph she really didn't need a reminder of him, especially when she was trying really hard to 'man up' to her current situation and be all bubbly and confident for Sophie. At least that was the plan. She had given herself a stern talking to when she had got home for being all weak at the Webster's earlier; what she had to do was be totally lovable and charming and then the time for serious talking would come later.
Sian's hands had found her back pockets and her legs suddenly started to carry her to the bar. She was self-conscious, nervous to see the rest of Sophie's family again and so scared about what her ex was feeling. Sophie was so harsh towards her earlier and whereas Sian did expect it, she didn't expect the distance Soph kept herself at. Sian was hoping to feel the connection they once had, that intense, heart-stopping emotion that had always been the two of them. It had never left Sian and it was the thing her heart pined for, the only thing that could complete her and make her happy again. She had had other relationships since Soph and they had of course tried, but Sian wasn't whole with them. There was always something missing, and she desperately wanted Sophie to feel the same. Sian just had no idea, she really was walking into this blind and as much as something within her told her of course Sophie ached the same for her, Sian just couldn't tell anymore.
"Alright luv what can I get'ya?"
Becky snapped Sian out of her reverie and she immediately smiled and giggled a little; her cute generic politeness that Sophie used to love so much. "Hi Becky how are you?"
"Awwh Sian! " Becky animated herself and flung an arm across the bar and around Sian's neck pulling her in for a brief hug. Becky kissed the air at the side of Sian's head, "what you doin' back?" Her voice was all sing-song.
They parted and Sian shrugged and looked up, "it was time to come back, Uni's over so", Sian finished and grinned.
"Aww right" Becky had that sly grin grace her lips as she leaned on the pumps and regarded a table behind the blond, Sian didn't pick up on it right away. "Nothing to do with the Webster's or owt?" Becky winked.
Sian let out a nervous giggle and didn't really know what to say. Becky could sense a story a mile off.
Becky leaned forwards a little more and tried to lower her voice, "have ya run into her yet?"
Sian bit on her bottom lip. There was no point lying. "Mmyeh briefly, earlier".
Becky had been chewing gum. She continued to chew it as she stared at Sian intently, loving the amazing new gossip that was clearly about to surface. She raised her eyebrows. "And?"
Sian shook her head a little and tried her best to not meet Becky's gaze. She shrugged. "Nothing. She invited me for a drink so.." she trailed off, still grinning as her politeness would let her do nothing else.
Becky scratched her chin. "Right, yehh". She tilted her head and kind of gestured for Sian to come closer, she lowered her voice. "Quite a stir you caused, when you left".
Sian straightened and her expression darkened. She didn't really need to be reminded, of that. Her tone was even, "oh yeh". Sian licked her top lip, her hands now rooted in her back pockets.
Becky's eyes rested firmly behind the blond. "She weren't right, not for ages".
Sian's eyes moved to the direction in which Becky was looking but she didn't turn her head. She had guessed who might be sat there and suddenly her confidence had gone. She looked back to Becky with a dangerous expression, communicating with one look that the subject was off limits. To her.
Becky felt the rebuff. "I'm just sayin', no one's affected her like you did. And she never let anyone else in". Sian's demeanor remained the same. Although she lingered on that last line. Becky held her hands up, "alright", and then grinned, motioning again with her eyes behind Sian, "good luck". Becky walked away.
"Sian I don't believe it!" Sally's familiar voice echoed through her. Sian immediately turned and Sally engulfed her in a tight hug. It forced Sian's eyes closed and she grinned brightly, she had missed Sophie's family as much as she had missed Soph. Well, kind of. Or not really. Sian chuckled to herself, she had missed the drama of the Webster's as there was always something happening. But not the drama of Claire outing them. That wasn't so much fun. Sian pushed away the memory. Sally loosened her grip and held onto Sian's arms regarding her happily. "You look really well".
Sian giggled, "thank you Mrs. Webster, so do you".
"You know to call me Sally, you really have been gone too long Sian. Now sit down I'll get you a drink".
Sally carried on down the bar and Sian was left before the table of Webster's, however the important one was missing. Sian was smiling nervously and she tried desperately to not let her expression drop as her hopes had done. She'll be here.. she hoped, and then she swallowed , trying to quell the nerves that had risen in her chest.
"C'mon Sian sit down", Kev said as he patted the space next to him. Sian immediately took up the seat and caught Rosie's eye across the table. They smiled at each other and Rosie held her gaze for a little longer than was necessary, or at least Sian thought. Something was up.
"So Sian", Bill piped up, "we want to know everything you've been up to and why it's taken you so long to come back" he said happily.
Oh God!
Sian faked another smile and had to remind herself why she had gladly walked into this situation. Long brown hair, blue eyes and a killer smile.
Oh yeh, that was it.
Sian lost herself in a smile whilst thinking about her ex, she wondered where she was. She was quickly distracted when Rosie excused herself from the table and Sian's head followed her and then got brought back as Sally returned from the bar.
"Here you go Sian, Martini and lemonade, that right?"
"Yehh thanks" she grinned as Sally took a seat opposite her. Sian couldn't get the question out of her head and so she asked it, with trepidation, "where's Soph?"
"Oh she went to the loo just before you got here", Sally said as she took a sip from her drink. "Should be back in a second".
"Well she won't be far away now she knows you're here, that's for sure", Kev interjected. Sian's heart fluttered at the prospect of seeing Sophie, and at the relief of knowing she hadn't been stood up. She also considered something else. She had no idea really, why everyone was okay with her. There's no chance they could have forgotten, so perhaps maybe, everyone had forgiven her? Was that even possible..? Sian had been running her thumb and forefinger up and down the side of her glass, and now she took a sip from it, looking at Sally as she began talking to Kev… something about Sian and where she had been. They were asking questions over each other, sort of keen for information but getting too caught up in the process to let Sian answer. She was glad though, as she took another sip and then placed the glass back on its mat. She swallowed awkwardly, feigning confidence and nonchalance. Perhaps Soph had forgiven her then, as well? Why else would everyone be acting like nothing had happened… Perhaps her Sophie would appear, treat her to that special Sophie Webster smile that was just for her, and then everything would be right with the world again. Sian lost herself in a goofy grin before Bill brought her back to reality.
"Really Sian?" he stated, matter-of-factly, "is that what happened?"
"Well, that's what Rosie said" Sally cut in.
All three of them caught Sian in a questioning stare. Her expression was blank. Why the hell did she choose that moment to check out? She caught her tongue between her lips as a breath hitched in her throat.
Kevin looked at his dad, and then back at Sian. "You went to study in London? Journalism or sumat?"
The blond licked her lips and rubbed the tip of her nose with the back of her hand as the panic evaporated and relief set in. "Mm thas right yehh", she smiled, before Bill cut back in.
"Why so far away?" he inquired, "Soph never did say".
Short lived, she thought. No forgiveness then, they don't know! She paused. Really? This one, she was going to have to wing.
As Rosie had entered the toilets she was presented with the sight of her little sister, leaning over one of the sinks with her head dipped and her shoulders hunched. Rosie folded her arms and sighed, this wasn't going to be as easy as she thought. Sophie had brought her eyes up to meet the mirror and she gazed pleadingly at her older sister, the only person that had been there for her over the last four years. The only person that knew the truth, well, apart from that other person. Rosie had become her best friend and right now she needed her.
Rosie's expression softened as she saw the longing in Sophie's eyes, the need and the confusion. She un-folded her arms. "You invited her Soph, you can't hide in here all night".
Sophie's eyes had gazed off to the side and found interest in the corner, somewhere. "She looks so beautiful.." her sentence wandering off too. "..still", she finished.
Rosie fought the urge to roll her eyes, that really wouldn't help things, she supposed. "Yeah I can see how you noticed through the back of her head-"
Sophie spun round from the sink to glare at Rosie and at the inappropriate timing of her humour. "Rosie!"
"I'm sorry", she lied. Rosie inched closer to her sister, her body language more comforting. "But you legged it before she had even turned around from the bar! Just.. come and talk to her, you have to".
Sophie hugged her shoulders. She knew Rosie was right, she just needed a push. "What's she doing, out there?"
"Just at the table talking to everyone".
Sophie didn't seem reassured or even happy, at that observation. "Just where she left off".
Rosie put her hands on Sophie's arms. "You chose not to tell anyone babe", Rosie knew this would be an issue, sooner or later. And she quite clearly remembered telling Sophie so, at the time.
Sophie regarded her sister, "well they loved her. Still do".
Rosie eyed her. "Same as you".
Sophie bit her lower lip and after a moment she spoke around it. "I didn't want anyone to hate her". Her voice was small, as if piled under the weight of the situation she was now buried under. Sophie chose to ignore Rosie's comment.
"So now you have a situation where no one knows what really happened. People just think she went away to Uni and what-" Rosie broke off to look at her sister's expression. It gave nothing away. "..you just drifted apart?"
Sophie very subtly shrugged. She was quite clearly stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Rosie continued. "There are going to be questions Soph, she's back for you. No other reason".
That caught Sophie's attention, her head snapped back to Rosie. "You don't know that".
Rosie stepped off and again, folded her arms. She widened her eyes and tried to peer into her sister. "Don't I?"
Sophie shuffled a little. She felt pathetic. She couldn't understand why she was so drawn in by this girl, this girl who hurt her so much. And as much as she didn't want it to be, it was still there. All of it. Everything she felt before, perhaps more, because she wanted it back so badly but simply couldn't justify it. "Is that what she said?"
Her eyes were so hopeful it almost made Rosie's heart break. She slowly breathed out. This conversation wasn't going anywhere, she needed to get Sophie back at the table. At least that was proactive. Rosie forced a smile. "C'mon, you're going out there, and you're going to talk to her", she rubbed Sophie's arm in an encouraging gesture, "and then you'll find out for yourself".
Sophie managed a small smile, she knew her sister was right. This was her just rambling and being insecure. There was only one way to even start to get through this. She lead the way and Rosie followed.
..to be continued..