AN: Maggie here! Ready for another one of my rants? Okay, here goes *takes deep breath and lets it out* First off, only ONE review, really? I got, like, FIVE for the first chapter! You guys really need to get with the game on this thing (I'm half-joking, you guys, so don't take it personally)! xxFroggyFernyCabbagexx, thank you very, VERY much for your review, it meant a lot to hear from you since (coughcoughhintcoughcough) NOBODY ELSE WROTE ANYTHING! Whew! Sorry about that. I'm good now! Alright, now that's outta my system, let's move on, shall we? Next thing on the agenda: You will see Galinda mention someone named Susan. For those of you who don't know who this is: Susan Hilferty is the woman who designed all of the costumes for Wicked, and I just thought it'd be fun to mention her (even if it is brief!), and also, Winnie Holzman appears briefly. If you don't know who SHE is, she wrote the "book" for the play (meaning she wrote the script for the parts that don't involve singing as well as the dialogue that takes place during Popular, Dancing Through Life, Defying Gravity, and the other songs with conversations in the middle of them). Let's see, anything else? Nope, I think that about covers it! So, here's the third chapter, please enjoy! AND THIS TIME, I WANT REVIEWS!

Disclaimer: Do I LOOK like Gregory Maguire to you?

Chapter 3: Hats and Spiders and Mayhem, Oh My!

*lights go up*

*in Doctor Dillamond's classroom*

*everybody needed for the scene except Galinda is there*

Elphie: *looks around & is confusified* Where's Gali?

Me: *sigh* Adam, would you like to do the honors?

Adam: Sure, why not? *picks up loudspeaker mic* (over loudspeaker, talking into mic) Galinda! Where'd you go, you crazy but loveable explosion of pink, girly, fluffy, sparkly, glitteriness? YO! GALINDA! GET YOUR SPARKLY PINK BUTT OUT HER, GIRL, WE NEED YOU! *pauses and looks around* *turns to me and shrugs* Sorry, Maggie, I did the best I could.

Me: *sigh* Yeah, I know you did. *picks up loudspeaker mic and holds it in the air* ANYBODY ELSE WANNA GIVE IT A SHOT?

Fiyero: Ooooh! Gimme that! *grabs mic* I've always wanted to do this!

Me: *stares*

Fiyero: WHAT?

Me: Dude, you've been here for all of...*does mental math* ...I dunno, a few weeks, maybe! You didn't even know what a loudspeaker IS until then! You'd never even heard that TERM before!

Fiyero: ...It looks cool...

Me: *rolls eyes*

Fiyero (singing (badly) into mic): IIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE-

Stephen: DUUUUUUUUUDE! I ACTUALLY LET THAT GOD AWFUL VOICE INTO THIS PLAY?

Me, Elphie, & Yero: HEY! I RESENT THAT! *look at each other and burst into laughter*

Galinda: *walks onstage* What's everybody laughing at? I miss anything? *smacks forehead* Pfft! DUH, I missed something! Whatever you guys are laughing at, obviously!

*we snap back to our senses*

Joe: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

Galinda: *slightly taken aback* W-well, see, I was backstage getting ready, and while I was putting on my shoes, Susan went to get my hat and purse, but she couldn't find my hat, so I've been helping her look for it. But, as you can see *trademark dramatic pause* WE FOUND IT!

Joe: Good. NOW GET YOUR SCRAWNY BLONDE BUTT INTO POSITION!

Galinda: *huffs and goes to stand between Pfanee and ShenShen*

Doctor Dillamond: Hello, class! I am-

Elphie: *shrieks* SPIDER!

*Fiyero runs onstage*

Fiyero: DIE, DEMON BUG! HOLY FREAKING SHIZNIT, IT'S A BLACK WIDOW! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

*everybody starts running around and screaming at the top of their lungs in panicked mayhem*

Black widow: ...?

Elphie: EVERYBODY, FREEZE!

*we freeze*

Elphie: *walks over to spider and crouches down to look at it*

Black widow: *looks up at Elphie* ...?

Elphie: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

Fiyero (in stage whisper): Psssssssssst! Fae! Don't! Move! A muscle! It won't be able to see you! Be really, really, really, really, REALLY still, love!

Black widow: I can still hear you! I'm right here you know! And besides, that's dinosaurs, you half-wit!

Me: Oh, so it's a Spider, not a spider!

Spider: Yep.

Elphie: *picks up Spider* Sorry about all that. I've got this huge fear of spiders, and I thought you were one since you weren't speaking.

Spider: That's okay, I'm used to it. Happens all the time. People seem especially scared of black widows.

Me: That's because they're the most deadly species known to man. A single bite can kill a person if enough of the venom enters their system. It can be fatal. *shakes head*

Galinda: I didn't know Elphaba was afraid of spiders!

Nessa: Yeah. Ever since we were little girls. See, there was this one time-

Elphie: DON'T TELL THE STORY!

Nessa: I'M TELLIN' THE STORY!

Elphie: DO IT, AND I SWEAR ON MOTHER'S GRAVE THAT YOU WILL REGRET IT, NESSAROSE!

Nessa: *horrified gasp* Elphaba! How could you? How dare you say such a blasphemous thing about our mother! Need I remind you whose fault it is that she-

Me & Galinda: IT WAS THE MILKFLOWERS' FAAAAAAUUUUUUUULT!

Fiyero: WHAT THEY SAID!

Winnie Holzman: THAT DOESN'T COME UNTIL LATER ON!

all 3 of us: DEAL WITH IT!

Me: *puts hand to forehead* Ugh. I've got a migrane...I'm gonna go ahead and end the chapter. I'll be back later, though. Bye, everybody!

Everybody else: Bye, Maggie!

Elphie: Hope you feel better.

Me: Thanks. *starts writing* *pauses* Let's see...now where did I put that darn hole puncher and masking tape?...*writes to black*

AN: Alright, so, I did think of one more thing. The binder that I write this (and the rest of my) crap in needs a nickname, as does the fountain pen that I use to do all my writing these days. I've already gotten suggestions from xxFroggyFernyCabbagexx, but I wanna hear from more of you guys. What I'm gonna do is take the best ones and put them in a poll, which will be posted on my profile as soon as I make it, then I'm gonna let you guys vote on whichever ones you like best. AND, as a bonus, if your suggestions are picked, the gang and I will reward you with a Wicked fic with the pairing(s) of your choice, and following one of these general plotlines:

1: Elphaba and Fiyero's lives outside of Oz after they've escaped (I already have one pre-written in the binder along with 2 sequels)

2: A Shiz-era fic

3: An AU Shiz-era fic (one is already in the works of my binder)

4: An AU fic of life AFTER Shiz, starting at any point of the story you choose

So, remember: Send in your suggestions, because I might just decide to add them to the poll, and if yours is good enough, it may even be picked! And EVERYBODY loves having entire stories written JUST for them, right? Right! So, in conclusion: Review, my pretties! REVIEW! OR ELPHABA AND I SHALL RELEASE OUR FLYING MONKEYS TO WREAK HAVOC UPON YOU AND ALL YOUR LOVED ONES, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *me & Elphie cackle in unison*

xoxo-

Maggie