Author's Note: Yay! I got reviews still! That means people are still reading, and that is like a big hug with words. So, I lied a little. It was unintentional, I assure you, but I discovered that I can't write the epilogue yet. I may need another chapter or two first. So...here's number 21. Enjoy. And no suing me. I never claimed to own these characters, or really anything else. One more week of this rotation, then a little vacation, so no writing for a few days/weeks. Ahhh. Vacation.
Marshall was nervous. Really, really nervous. He was in Mary Shannon's bedroom. Her quiet sanctuary. Her place of rest. He was in her bed. Beside her. And he was terrified to move. Was he allowed to move? Was he allowed to roll over? To touch her? And most importantly, why, in the name of all that is holy, was she allowing him in here? Questions swirled through his overactive brain, already in high gear because of the actions of his partner the previous evening. He wasn't a jumpy man, but his analytical mind was in overdrive as he attempted to decipher the intentions behind her invitation.
"Why don't you sleep in here tonight?" That's what she'd said to him. No snark. No sarcasm. No attempt to remove articles of clothing in his presence. So what was her plan? Was she merely saving him the discomfort of sleeping on her lumpy sofa? Was she expecting him to do something; make some sort of move on her? That could end poorly if he DID make an advance and she was unreceptive. Their entire partnership – indeed their very friendship could be ruined. Her trust in him was complete, and he couldn't bring himself to do anything that would jeopardize that. He'd never get her back if he did. She was too important to him to risk it. And he was so close.
Speaking of close, she was oddly still as well. Carefully turning his head to look at her, he took in her form, silhouetted against the darkness of her bedroom. Eyes open. Staring at the ceiling. Definitely awake. Her facial expression was more difficult to see, so he couldn't judge her mood. Her eyes were relaxed, though, and she didn't appear upset. Considering his options, Marshall found himself torn, but thankfully the decision was make for him when Mary swung her feet over the edge of the bed and slipped from the darkened room.
Quietly opening to Katie's room, Mary tiptoed across to the bed and climbed inside.
"Wake up." She poked her cousin.
"I'm up." Katie rolled onto her side so they were facing. "What's going on?"
"What am I supposed to do now?" Mary demanded.
"Huh?"
"I did what you said, and now he's in my room and it's awkward, and I can't sleep. What do I do?" Mary was exasperated. She knew the ball was on her turf, but she had no idea of how to return the volley.
"What did you guys talk about?" Katie patiently asked.
"What do you mean?"
Katie smiled. Her cousin was brilliant, but seriously dense when it came to intrapersonal interactions. "When you left here the first time? What did you talk about? Before bed."
"Nothing." Mary shrugged, wishing she'd done things differently. "We just went to bed."
"So how'd you get him in there?" Katie signed internally. She knew she should have sent Mary off with step-by-step instructions. Instead she'd been too vague, and they were all paying for it now.
"I told him to sleep in my room." Mary shrugged. "Just like you said." Now she was getting defensive. No way she screwed this up already. This was irritating. She hadn't been nervous about having a guy in her room since she was a teenager. Now she's hiding out in a different room begging for advice. God, she was pathetic.
"Okay, so this is simple. Just go back in there and say something like, "Hey, are you awake?" Then you guys can talk."
A nice idea, but Mary was going to need particulars this time. "And then what do I say?"
"What do you want to say? No judgment here, no worries. Just be honest. What would you like to say to him?"
Mary breathed in deeply and took a while to consider the question. What DID she want to say to her partner. Her friend. Her…something else? Mary sighed and flopped onto her back. This was going to be difficult.
"How about I start, and you jump in? I might hit on something close to right." Katie was a godsend. She always had been.
"Sure." Mary mumbled, but it was difficult to hear since she had a pillow over her face.
Katie smiled. "Okay, jump in any time." Deep breath. "Marshall, you're so dreamy. I want to rip your clothes off and make hundreds of babies with you. Ouch!" She winced as Mary's fist connected with her arm. "I'm working here? Do you mind?" She shoved her cousin back and continued. "You're the best friend a girl could ever have, and I hope that we can make wild, monkey love every day until we die."
"You're not helping!" Mary choked through her laughter.
"Oh, yes I am!" Katie sat up and smoothed Mary's hair off of her forehead. "Come on. Seriously. Tell him that he's the best friend a girl could have, and that you wonder if he's interested in taking things farther."
"He is." Mary said tightly.
"He is?" Her interest was piqued. "How do you know? And don't leave anything out!"
"He sort of told me." Mary stopped short at Katie's short intake of breath.
"He TOLD you!" Katie was getting excited. "Tell me, and don't you DARE leave out the details."
Mary sighed. "He told me that I needed to find a guy who more than just a quick lay. That I needed to look for a guy who would get in my face and call me on my bullshit and challenge me. I needed a guy who would make me think."
"And he meant himself." Katie squealed a bit too loudly, then clamped her hand over her mouth guiltily.
"I think he did."
"And then what? What did you say?" Katie was excited.
"I told him I was thinking."
"And then what did you do?" Katie was quietly this time.
"I went to Mexico." Mary shocked out. "With someone else." She was embarrassed at her own actions.
"Did he find out?"
"Yes." Mary remembered the look on Marshall's face. The betrayal. The hurt. It took them months to get back to normal after that. But she had to be honest with Katie. "It was someone he knew. And he hated him."
"You went to Mexico with a guy Marshall hated?" Katie couldn't believe it.
"He even warned me about him." Mary admitted. "Marshall hated him. Saw right through him. And I didn't listen, and I hurt my best friend."
"Well, this is your chance to make things right." Katie was pacing now. "Go in there, and tell him that you've made some mistakes where men are concerned. That you've been looking in all the wrong places, and that you've finally found a guy who makes you think. Tell him that you're done thinking, and you're thinking that he's the kind of guy who could get in your face and…no leave that part out. Tell him that you're interested in pursuing a relationship beyond partnership, and you're hoping that he shares that interest."
"That's kind of long." Mary quipped. "Got anything I can remember?"
"Tell him that you like him. That you're done thinking, and you're thinking that he's the kind of guy you could see yourself settling down with."
"That's kind of girly."
Katie stopped and kissed Mary's forehead. "I hate to tell you this, hon, but you're a girl. And he's already aware of this fact."
"You're really annoying, you know that?"
Katie laughed. "So I've been told." She peeled the blankets off and pulled Mary out of bed. "Now, just go tell him you're done thinking."
"That's it?"
"That's it." Katie assured her. "Now go in there. Poor guy probably thinks you're mad at him."
"He does?" Mary sounded freaked out now.
"No." Katie soothed. "It's Marshall. He's probably right outside with his ear to the door eavesdropping."
"What?"
"Relax." Katie laughed. "He's in bed, probably feeling just as freaked out as you are."
That actually did make Mary feel a little better. Just knowing that she wasn't alone in her distress helped somewhat.
"I just. I don't know." She did know. But she didn't want to say it out loud to anyone.
"Mary, Marshall's a great guy. He's a good friend to you. He tolerates the rest of your family. What's the hold up?"
"Brandi said…" She almost blurted it all out, but clamped her mouth shut and blushed.
"Brandi said what exactly?" Katie pried. This couldn't be good.
"It was when Raph and I were together." Mary's voice sounded distant. Detached. "She was telling me I should be nicer to him because I wasn't going to do any better."
"Jesus, Mary." Katie breathed out in frustration as she sank down on the bed once more. "And you believed her." Not a question. She knew the answer without asking. Of course Mary believed her, because no one had ever bothered telling her that she COULD do better. Expect more. "Mary, listen to me." She waited until Mary looked at her before continuing. "I love Brandi, but she's a moron sometimes."
Mary chuckled a little at that. "I'm serious!" Katie insisted. "To tell you that you can't have a guy who thinks the world of you…a guy who wouldn't cheat on you…EVER…to say that you can't expect that much out of…of…of LIFE, Mary!" Katie's heart broke for her friend. She looked so lost sitting there. "Mary, you're a good person, and you deserve this happiness. You deserve this wonderful man. He loves you. Just go tell him he's allowed to do it out loud now."
Mary was silent for several minutes and she rolled the new ideas around in her head. "So, go in and tell him I'm done thinking." She affirmed, not quite convinced that it would be that easy. But if she was going to take relationship advice from a relative, she be damned if it was going to be Brandi any longer.
"And let him take it from there." Katie was pleased at her matchmaking efforts. She crossed her fingers behind her back and wished that things would work out as Mary quietly closed the door and set forth on her mission.
It took a few moments for Mary's eyes to adjust to the darkness in her bedroom. Everything was exactly where she left it, just as Katie said it would be. Marshall appeared to be snoozing, on arm thrown over his head, face turned toward the door like he was waiting for her. She stood, undecided once more; eyeing the doorknob hungrily, and wondering how far she could make it before someone realized that she was gone. It was Marshall, though. The one sure thing in her life. She knew she could always count on him, and now she needed to extend him the opportunity to reciprocate something she knew he'd been waiting for. This was scarier than she'd imagined, and the reason why she'd never taken this leap before was abundantly clear. Facing possible rejection made her antsy. Nervous. She wiped her palms on her pajamas, frustrated to discover that they were sweaty.
"This is ridiculous." She whispered to no one. Finally making up her mind, she crossed the room quickly and sat on the bed facing her partner. "Marshall?" She whispered. "Marshall, wake up."
He wasn't actually asleep, and she suspected as much.
"Marshall!"
"Mare, what? What is it?" He groggily sat up, dragging himself from the comfortable almost-sleep he'd been approaching.
"Marshall, I…" She stumbled, drew out a forceful breath and tried again. "I…I need to tell you something."
"Okay." She had his full attention now, and he pulled himself up completely and faced her solemnly. "Is everything all right?" When Katie announced her engagement, Marshall's brain was split between being happy for her and watching Mary to make sure she was taking it well. She had seemed genuinely happy for her cousin, and he'd been able to relax and enjoy the girl's festivities.
"Everything's fine." She brushed off his concern. "I just…Jesus. This is hard." As soon as the words were out of her mouth she flashed back to the last time she'd said them.
Marshall was alarmed. "Mare, is something wrong?" She shook her head, but that did nothing too quell his rapidly rising fears. "Hey, it's just me. Talk to me."
She drew in an unsteady breath that had Marshall's heart catching in his throat. "I'm…I'm done…thinking." She finally managed to get it out, and sat frozen with fear while Marshall worked out what she meant with her cryptic remark.
It didn't take him too long, and the light dawned in his brain, eyes opening wider in disbelief. "Mary?" He was at a loss for words. "What are you done thinking about?" He needed to know.
"God, you're gonna make me say it?" She was close to tears now, the tension and fear eating away at her usual tight self control.
"Mare, if you mean what I hope you mean then yes, I am going to need to hear you say it. Just once." He couldn't let his hopes get up too high lest she change her mind or maybe she was having an entirely different conversation altogether. Maybe she meant something else. Maybe…
"Marshall, you told me to look for a different kind of guy." Her voice was still unsteady, and he resisted the urge to reach out to her. "I told you I was thinking." She had to do it. "And then I hurt you by going to Mexico with another man."
"Faber." He spat out, disdain for the man dripping from his voice.
"Right." She acknowledged. "And that was a mistake, and I'm sorry. I…I just. I told you I was thinking. And I'm done thinking. I know a guy just like the one you said I needed. And…" Katie would tell her to be more direct. "I guess I'm asking if you…if your…the…"
"Mare, look at me." He urged quietly, seeing her stumble and deciding to rescue her. When her eyes met his, he asked her the question. The important question that burned him up inside for years. "Are you saying that you are interested in pursuing a relationship outside the bounds of work partnership and friendship with me?"
Mary took a deep breath and tried to steady herself before answering. "Yes." Her gaze was even, and her jaw was set. He knew she meant it.
"To be clear, this is a relationship we're talking about." He had to confirm a few details first before he could celebrate. "Not a one-night stand. Not a fling. Not a guy to fill the void because there isn't anyone else here at the moment." He hoped she didn't get too offended by his questions.
"I wouldn't do that to you." She murmured quietly, head down.
"Hey." He hadn't meant to make her that self-conscious. "I'm just pinching myself here. Making sure I heard you properly."
Mary smiled at his enthusiasm and wondered, not for the first time, about other things that he might be as enthusiastic about. The awkwardness of the moment finally occurred to her as she sat beside him having what her childhood priest would call "impure thoughts."
"So." She started, but had no where else to take that comment.
"I think we should get some sleep." Marshall was almost too excited to even think about sleeping. He felt like a child who had just been given the most important Christmas present ever. Thrilled. Excited. And a little nervous about taking it out of the box.
"Yeah. Sleep." Mary nodded. "Sure. Okay."
"You'll still be here in the morning?" He asked, and glanced at the clock to see how long he had. "Well, later this morning?"
"I'll be here." She assured him as she climbed under the blankets and stretched out beside him once more. Comfortable. Familiar. Images of nights at Quantico drifted through her mind. It didn't surprise her that he wanted to rest on it and discuss the more difficult topics in the morning.
"But will you have changed your mind?" He winced at the insecurity of those words, but found solace when Mary rolled onto her side and curled up against him.
"I'll be here." She promised him. "And nothing will have changed."
They shifted around for a few minutes until they each found a comfortable position, and ended up with Mary on her back and Marshall curled around her like a blanket. He had the wherewithal to close his eyes and imprint the moment on his brain. Gentle lips pressed against her temple, and instead of a sucker punch, she responded with a gentle smile and burrowed closer to him. This was everything he'd dreamt of for so long. It was everything he'd yearned to keep on that twin bed in Virginia. The woman of his dreams – the woman he'd been in love with for so long he'd stopped keeping track. Finally his. They'd iron out the details in the morning or perhaps tomorrow evening. The point was that he finally had her in his arms; and he wasn't letting go.
"Remind me to thank your cousin in the morning." He murmured half asleep.
"Katie?"
"Yeah." He nodded, and breathed her in. Different scent, now in her own room.
Mary was too tired to contemplate his meaning.
A/N: I hope there aren't too many typos. I only ever notice the big ones AFTER it's posed, no matter how many times I proofread and edit. Reviews? Also, if anyone is interested, I stumbled upon the FUNNIEST role I've ever seen FWeller in. Watch Southern Belles. Seriously. The movie is just so-so, but FWeller will have you laughing out LOUD! It's a few 180s from the Marshal Marshall Mann character to which I've become accustomed. Ah. Physical comedy.