AN: Hello, all my wonderful, wonderful pretties out there, hello! Nay, I have yet to abandon you and I plan on never doing so!...Okay, maybe for just a few days on end, but I usually come back to my computer really quick!...Unless of course I'm grounded...Anyway! I would like to once again sat, "congrats" to my dear friend, Rose Emeraldfay, whose name, "Tomb of Doom," a.k.a "ToD," won the poll for the binder's name, so Rosie: CONGRATULAOTIONS FROM THE ENTIRE GANG! Also, in response to your question: "AU" stand for "Alternate Universe," as in like, it's the same characters and everything, but the general plot and (most of) the events that take place are different, for example, a story that results in Elphaba and Fiyero not "dying" and leaving Oz, or the Wizard being defeated, or Elphie/Yero/Glinda getting rid of him and taking over Oz would all be AU. Shiz-era AU is the same thing, but takes place during their time at...Shiz...Um...Oh, sweet mother *bleep*ing Lurline...Poor Mamma...Shiz...Uh...I'd tell you what just happened, but you prob'ly don't wanna know...Um...Wow...Mary mother of Jesus...Uh...You know what, how about I just shut up and let you read?

Disclaimer: I don't really think I have time to write one at the moment, so please just see the Ultimate Disclaimer, otherwise I'd give you some sort of funny little quip of a thing or whatever. Sorry.

Chapter 8: SOMEBODY CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! FIRE! RUN FOR YOUR PATHETIC, MEANINGLESS LITTLE LIVES! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!

*lights go up to reveal the Govenor's Mansion*

Boq: *blinks, then looks at Nessa* HEEEEEY! Your chair got an UPGRADE!

Nessa: Yeah, I know, isn't it exciting?

Boq: It's awesome! Oooh, is that real gold?

Nessa: Yep! And velvet!Boq: Cool, can I touch it?

Nessa: *nods*

Boq: *touches velvet* Oooooooh, sooooooooft...

Nessa: Now go get me some more tea, slave! *shoves empty tea cup at him*

Boq: *takes cup and sulks off*

Nessa: *hums "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" from Moulin Rouge to self*

*wardrobe starts to shake and rattle*

Nessa: *screams and falls out of chair, landing face-first on the floor*

*wardrobe opens and Elphie comes out*

Elphie: *looks at Nessa and half-sighs-half-groans while rolling eyes* Here I come, sis. *puts back in chair*

Nessa: OMIGAWDITSELPHABA!

Elphie: THANK you, Captain OBVIOUS!

Emmett: You called?

Me: Emmett?

Em: Yeah?

Me: *grinning smugly to myself* Box.

Em: *throws a hysterical temper tantrum*

Alice: How did you know-Me: Who do you think drilled that fear into his mind?

Alice: Uh...me, Edward, and Jazz? Since we shove him in that thing repeatedly?

Me: *shakes head* That was me and mah mad authorin' skillz. First time he ever showed even the slightest fear at the mention of that thing was in one of the bazillions of stories that I have saved on my word document progam. Same reason he and Garrett are obsessed with the...*pauses and glances around to make sure Em's not listening, then leans in real close to her ear & whispers* blue moo-moos.

Alice: *nods in understanding, knowing exactly what the "blue moo-moos" are*

Jasper: *smacks Em back to his senses then sends him a wave of relaxation*

Nessa: ELPHABAWHATHEHECKYOUDOINHERE?

Elphie: *smacks upside the head*

Nessa: OUCH! What the heck was THAT for?

Elphie: To make you stop yelling at the top of your lungs and talking so fast that all your words are getting slurred together into one GIANT word.

Nessa: Oh...Thanks, I needed that.

Elphie: *shrugs nonchalantly* No problem.

ROD: THOMEBODY HELP MEH! I NEHD A BAND-AIHD FOH MAH TOMUE! ITH THILL BEHDING!

Me: *looks at Jackson* Translation, please?

Jay: "Somebody help me! I need a Band-Aid© for my tongue! It's still bleeding!" Seriously, this guy is really starting to get on my nerves.

Me: Ditto.

Adam: If he doesn't shut up about his stupid tongue-WHICH, for the record, I really couldn't care less about-I'm gonna put him in a world of hurt.

Fiyero: *pounds fist into palm while making angry face*

Adam: Well put.

Elphie: So, uh, Nessa, where's Dad?

Nessa: Dead.

Elphie: *doesn't hear her* Cuz, I have some important things that I need to-Woah, wait a clock-tick, WHAT?

Nessa: Yep. Commited suicide last month. (AN: thank you to areyoufeelingwicked for giving me the "frex commited suicide" idea)

Elphie: Well, that's just great. NOW who'm I s'posed to- *has a sudden lightbulb moment* Nessa?...

Nessa: *is unsure if she likes how Elphie is looking at her* Yeah...?

Elphie: Dad always said that he was gonna make you the new govenor when he died, right, little sis?

Nessa: Why?...

Elphie: You have to help me, Nessarose!

Nessa: I can't!

Elphie: Why not?

Nessa: A few reasons. For starters, I'm an unelected official and housing Public Enemy Numero Uno in my mansion is bad for the rep, and the people hate me enough already as it is.

Elphie: Wait, why do they hate you?

Nessa: *quickly and slightly panicked* No reason. Anyway, for another thing, you're Public Enemy Numero Uno.

Alice: Didn't she already say that?

Me: No, but what she said before was so close to it that she might as well have.

Alice: Thought so.

Nessa: And number three, I REFUSE TO HAVE MY OLDER SISTER BABYSITTING ME 24/7 AND THUS INTERFERING WITH MY LOVE-LIFE! Plus, what have YOU ever done for ME? HUH? NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

Elphie: Then what was I doing all those years if it wasn't taking care of it?

Nessa: Being a pest.

Elphie: -_-

Nessa: *is stubborn*

Elphie: *chants from Grimmerie*

Nessa's shoes: *catch on fire and turn red*

Nessa: *jumps out of chair and dances around putting out flames* OOOOOOOOW, HOTHOTHOTHOT!

Me: It's hooooot in To-PEKA! Pick my toe, it's hot! I'm a hot toe-picker! It's hot in Topeka! PICK MY HOT TOE! (AN: First person to guess where this is from gets a virtual slice of my virtual birthday cake! (i turn 14 tomorrow))

Nessa: OMAHGAWD, I CAN WALK!

Boq: *comes in* I smelled smoke, should I call the fire depa-OMAHGAWDITSTEHFRICKINWITCH!

Elphie: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks, Boq. I feel so loved and wanted in my own house.

Boq: *does not hear b/c is too busy gawking at Nessa's new ability to walk* FINALLY! *tries to run away*

Nessa: GET BACK HERE, LOVE-SLAVE! *steals Grimmerie and chants*

Boq: *looks rather dead*

Elphie: *saves him* Sorry, I did the best I could. Your on your own from here. *leaves*

Boq: *wakes up and looks at self* OH MY GOD, DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'M FRICKING HIDEOTEOUS! *is tin*

Nessa: *obeys and looks other way*

Boq: *leaves crying to mommy*

AN: All I have to say right now is this: Rosie, take as much time as you need to decide which general plot-line you want your story to follow, and once you figure it out, let me know, and I'll start the publishing process ASAP. Oh, and also, REVIEW, MY PRETTIES, PLEASE!

xoxo,

Maggie & the Gang