AN: YAAAAY, ALAYM! And, you know what THAT means! CAT FIGHT SCENE IS NEXT! So, anyway, sorry about the wait, I've been busy with school, updating other stories, etc., etc. With any luck, I might even be able to finish this today since I'm on my third snow day in a row! I swear, we have been TRAPPED in the house the last few days, you should see the roads down here, it is absolutely RIDICULOUS. President Obama has declared Oklahoma as an official "disaster zone" because of the five-foot snow drifts and other nonsense going on up there, and my grandparents live in Norman. They have a Basset Hound named Regal Chevis, who we call Chevy for short, and the poor girl refuses to go potty in the snow. She doesn't like it blowing into her face, so they had to clear a small area for her to do her business. FIVE. FOOT. SNOW. DRIFTS.

Love and hugs, and if you're experiencing this crazy weather as well, good luck and I hope you survive.

-Maggie & the Gang

*lights go up to reveal Elphaba and Fiyero. They are in the middle of the forest with a lantern nearby*

Fiyero: Man, that was awesome!

Elphie (in a blissfully happy voice): Yeah...

Fiyero: So awesome...

Elphie: Naughty things...forest...

Fiyero: Yeah...

Adam: When I look back on my memories of being in this play, I sometimes question why exactly I chose to try out for the particular role that I did. I mean, seriously, look at this guy!

*We look. It looks like they are about to begin...doing more...um...naughty things. Particularly on Fiyero's part.*

Me: *sigh* As much as I love the brainless oaf, I do have to agree with you on that, Adam.

Elphie: *le gasp!*

Fiyero: *stops nibbling earlobe and looks at her* What? Did that one hurt?

Elphie: *shakes head* No, it's not that. I just had another vision of the FUT-AAAAH!

Alice Cullen: Hey, having visions of the FUT-AAAAH! is my job!

Elphie: Well, not so much a vision of the FUT-AAAAH! as much as it is a minor and quite possibly inaccurate prophecy type thing. Gah, quit distracting me! Anyway, I saw a house!

Fiyero: What kind of house? Was it a mansion? Who lived in it? Was it us? Are we gonna live in a mansion with a bunch of love children someday?

*cricket chirp*

Fiyero: WHAT? A GUY CAN DREAM, CAN'T HE?

*awkward silence*

Emmett Cullen: GAY BABY!

Me: Oh, PLEASE, Emmett, nobody says "gay baby" anymore! That is SOOOOOO five years ago!

Em: Oh...Then what DO people say?

Me: Several things.

Em: What's your favorite?

Me: I don't have one.

Em: Then what are they?

Me: Chili pee, uh...chocolate turtle...I can't think of the rest right now, but I'll let you know if I do.

Em: Oh...Well, in that case...CHILI PEE!

Adam: "Chili pee?" Really, Mags, really? Since when do people say "chili pee?"

Me: *sigh* I'm going to explain it in the AN at the end of the chapter, so be paitent.

Joe Mantello (over loudspeaker, as usual): GUYS!

Me & Adam: SORRY!

Adam: You know how easily we get distracted!

Me: And side-tracked!

Adam: Yeah, that too!

Elphie: No, Fiyero, I regret to say that it is not a mansion and we are not living in it with a bunch of love children.

Alice (whispering to me): Did she say she "I regret?"

Me: *nods*

*awkward silence...again*

Em: CHILI PEE! AGAIN!

Fiyero: Then what kind of house was it?

Elphie: I know this sounds crazy, but...a flying house.

Fiyero: ...Pardon?

Elphie: Crazy, isn't it? But I swear, this house was literally flying through the sky, Fiyero! I swear to Oz, I'm not making it up!

Me & Adam: 3...2...1...

Fiyero: OMAHOZ! FLYING HOUSES! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THE WORLD IS ENDING!

R.E.M (remember 2 chappies ago? Yea, me neither): *singing* It's the end of the world as we know it! It's the end of the world as we know it! And I feel fiiiiiine!

Me + Joe+ Gregory Maguire + Stephen Shwartz: AGAIN?

Em & Jazz: *hit R.E.M upside the head w/ heavy wooden baseball bat and kick them out*

Me: Seriously, people, if you're gonna let some random band come in here, at LEAST make it somebody whose music I actually LISTEN to! Like Paramore, or...Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, or...Owl City...

Em: Or Band of Skulls!

Me: Yeah, or Band of Skulls!

Elphie: *le gasp again!*

Fiyero: What? Did you find the love children? *is hopeful*

*cricket chirp/awkward silence combo*

Em: CHILI PEE ONCE MORE!

Me: *thinks of joke to go with chili pee* Would you like some chili to go with that pee?

Em: Yes please!

Both of us: *bust a gut laughing*

Elphie: I wish I had, but no. MY SISTER IS GONNA GET SQUASHED!

*pause*

Fiyero: Squashed?

Elphie: Yep.

Fiyero: ...Squashed?

Renesmee Cullen: Like a bug.

Me: *kidnaps*

Nessie: You do know that once my family realizes that I'm missing they're gonna come looking for me, right?

Me: Uh-huh.

Nessie: You do know they're a bunch of indestructable vampires, right? And that they're probably gonna bring most, if not all of, the giant, over-grown pony sized wolves with them, right?

Me: Yeah.

Nessie: ...And you don't care?

Me: Nope.

Nessie: Do you know my grandfather is a police chief and he'll come looking for me and when he finds me, he'll arrest you for kidnapping me and holding me against my will?

Me: Your point?

Nessie: You know, I really don't think that you-

Alice: NESSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

Nessie: AUNTIE ALICE!

*huggles*

Me: *is smug*

Elphie: I gotta go make sure my sister hasn't been bug-squashed yet. Maybe I can get their in time to save her from being bug-squashed.

Fiyero: Can I come?

Elphie: That might not be such a good idea.

Fiyero: ...Meet you at my place afterwards?

Elphie: Deal.

*Kiss, then Elphie leaves*

*Lights go down*

*Silence*

Em: MARCO!

Me: POLO!

Adam: INDIANA JONES!

Alice: MUTT WILLIAMS!

Nessie: SHIA LEBOUF!

Fiyero: TRANSFORMERS!

Jackson Rathbone: ROBOTS!

Jazz: DROIDS!

Me: STAR WARS!

Nancy Drew: PADME AMADALA!

George Fayne: ANAKIN SKYWALKER!

Alice: CLONE WARS!

Me: ASOHKA TANO!

AN: I promised Adam that I would explain this, and I'm sure you guys are wondering about it as well, so, here we go. Question: Why did I choose the phrase "chili pee" as a replacement for "gay baby?" Answer: My art teacher and her husband do stuff at community theaters sometimes, and recently, they've been in a play called "Daddy's Dyin', Who's got the Will?" Basically, it's about a bunch of hillbillies that live just outside of Lowake, Texas whose dad, Buford, is dying. They know that his will is in his safe box, but they have no clue where the darn thing is. Once they finally DO find it, they don't have the key, so they have to pick the lock to get it open. Anyway, the character that my teacher's husband plays is a man named Orville, and every time something happens that upsets him-for example, when he found out that Buford cut him out of the will and only left him, and I quote, "one measly buck!"-Orville says, "I dun peed in mah chili!" His younger sister, Evilita-who is my teacher's character-eventually was like, "Orville, you say that one more time, and I swear!" and she was showing him her fist and stuff. Well, ten minutes later..."I dun peed in mah chili!" So, Evilita started chasing him around, threatening to kill him and what-not. Their older sister Sarah Lee finally had to come in and break it up. But, anyway, that's where "chili pee" came from. I'm done rambling.

-Maggie & the gang

Disclaimer: Me: *dances w/ joy*

Adam: Uh...what are you doing, Maggie?

Me: Dancing.

Adam: I see that...And why are you dancing?

Me: *holds out paper*

Adam: *takes paper & reads it* This is a letter from...STEPHEN SHWARTZ AND GREGORY MAGUIRE?

Me: *nods*

Adam: *reads* O_O ...

Me: I OWN WICKED!

Elphie: Let me see that! *snatches letter & reads* It's not real.

Adam: What? How can you tell?

Elphie: See how the signatures at the bottom are heavy, as if the people that made them were pressing down hard with the pen, trying to control the way the lines look?

Adam: Yeah.

Elphie: It means that they're forged signatures. See, one way you can tell if a signature is forged is by looking to see if the lines are dark and heavy. If they're not, it means that it was done naturally. Somebody forged these signatures and faked this letter. And I think I have a pretty good idea who it was...

*they look suspiciously at me*

Me: Who, me?

Elphie: *nods*

Me: What? No! Of course not, why would you think that? I'd NEEEEEVER do something like that! *shifty eyes*

Adam: You still don't own Wicked, do you, Lenore?

Me: ...No.