The next morning I woke up and looked at the clock across from my bed. I was surprised to see that it said eleven twenty four. This made me frown deeply and sit up. I grabbed my stomach with a groan of pain and fell back in the bed remembering suddenly why I had slept in so late. The shades were pulled tightly shut on the windows, not letting any light in, giving the allusion that it was still late at night. I sighed, despite desperately wanting to go to bed where pain did not exist in my sleep; I got up and began to move around the room.

There was a knock on my daughter, and before I could answer Carrigan came in carrying a tray with breakfast food on it and a black brace folded under her arm. I stood up straight with a wince in pain as she put the tray on the bed.

"Hi Mom," she said unfolding the brace and handing it to me. "Gabriel wanted me to give you that. He went into work already."

"Thank you," I sighed as I ate some of the fruit off out of the bowl on the tray. Carrigan stood patiently.

"Are you okay, Mom?" she asked.

I looked at her and frowned slightly, but nodded my head. "Yea. Just peachy."

"Gabriel said I have to watch you put that thing on," she said. "He said you probably wouldn't wear it otherwise. And if you don't wear it I am to write to him that way he can catch you at work and put it on—"

"Alright, alright," I sighed going into the closet to change my clothes and put the stupid corset like torso brace on. I did not like how my own child and Gabriel were parenting me. It was a little discouraging, and rather annoying. I put on blue jeans, the brace, a new bra, and a black tight long sleeve shirt. I came out of the bedroom and Carrigan stood at the bed still with her arms crossed over her chest. I lifted my shirt to show that I was wearing the brace. She smiled and sat down on the bed, eating some of the breakfast food she had brought up. Now she could be a kid again.

"What happened last night?" she asked. "Gabriel wouldn't tell me."

"I got hit by a Muggle car," I said slowly.

"While you were getting Harry?" Carrigan asked curiously.

"How'd you know I was going to get Harry?"

"Gabriel let it slip," Carrigan shrugged.

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I went to the dresser and brushed my hair carefully. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail as I looked at Carrigan in the mirror.

"Gabriel doesn't let things slip, Carrigan," I said.

She frowned at me, knowing that I had caught her in her lie.

"We were practicing Legilimency," she sighed. "I didn't mean to find out, but I just did."

Once my hair was up in a ponytail I walked to Carrigan and sat down next to her on the bed. She was eating a piece of toast, but I took her free hand and held it on my lap as I tucked her brown curls behind her ear.

"With great power comes great responsibility, Carrigan," I whispered. "I know you are eager to learn, which I encourage, but you have to make sure that you have mastered the skills you already know before you continue learning. Legilimency if very difficult, and I am very proud of what you have already achieved, but you have to be careful with it…when I was fifteen and Gabriel had taught me Legilimency, I accidentally used it on Remus. That is how I discovered he was a werewolf. I invaded his privacy and betrayed his trust as a friend. We have to be careful how we use our powers."

Carrigan nodded her head in understanding. "I couldn't help it though," she whispered. "I was looking for something to use against him, he had me pinned and I needed something to get him off me."

This comment made me frown deeply. "That is not why you should use Legilimency."

"Well then what should I use it for?" she questioned.

"Frankly, you shouldn't be using it. You're eleven you have no reason to use it," I said with some annoyance. Carrigan frowned at me and pulled her hand from mine. I sighed and folded my hands on my lap. "Gabriel taught you Legilimency because he wants you to also learn Occlumency, which is harder to master and much more important. It's easier to know how to block people from your mind when you know the methods to get in."

"You don't think he should have taught me at all," Carrigan said shaking her head.

"No," I responded. "I just think we should have waited to teach you."

Carrigan looked at me with angry eyes. I frowned deeply, knowing the angry look in her dark blue eyes too well. I had received it a great deal from Sirius in the last months of our relationship. It was moments like these where she reminded me of her Father entirely; but when Gabriel was on the receiving end of her angry glare he always said she looked like a miniature version of me.

"Carrigan no matter when he taught you, you'd have to be responsible for your actions," I said. "You shouldn't use Legilimency to get leverage to use against someone. You use Legilimency when you can't trust someone. I do not want to hear about you using your powers inappropriately at Hogwarts. You are very gifted, but you have to be responsible for your powers; you can use them on your peers or teachers. And I don't want to hear about you showing off—"

"You think I would Mom?" she questioned with hurt eyes.

"No," I shook my head. "As a parent I just had to say it."

Carrigan nodded and leaned against me. "What if nobody likes me because of my powers?" I could hear the fear in her voice and I frowned deeply as I wrapped my arm around her. I rubbed her arm up and down and leaned my head on her.

"Nobody has to know, Carrigan," I whispered. "Only tell those that you trust and only practice if Gabriel comes to give you lessons. Don't use them unless you have to, and honestly she shouldn't have to."

She sat up and looked at me. "Do you think Gabriel will come give me lessons?"

I gave her a steady smile. "I don't think so, not yet. Maybe in your third or forth year. You have to stay physically fit too. More training over the summer, jogging, push-ups and sit-ups."

"Right," Carrigan nodded. "If I have control of my body I will have control of my emotions better. Physical, emotional, and mental strength all go hand in hand."

"Do you remember everything Gabriel tells you?" I asked with a smile.

"Well, its important isn't it?"

"Yes," I nodded. "It is."

"Don't you think I can work-out on the weekends at school?" she asked.

I frowned slightly. "With your Father on the loose I'd rather you not be alone, even on the grounds."

Carrigan frowned. "Alright."

"Speaking of your Father," I whispered with a soft sigh. I was regretting the conversation I had to have with her about her name. "I don't think you want to be advertising that Sirius Black is in fact your Father."

Carrigan nodded. "I wasn't planning on it. But people won't know or anything. It's not like I have his last name."

I bit my bottom lip. "But people know our name, Carrigan. And lots of people knew that your Father and I were together. I was suspected for the crimes he committed just because I was with him. That's why I moved to America."

Carrigan was looking at me with serious eyes. She was taking in all of my words with a relatively calm demeanor….she probably wouldn't be so calm when I said that I wanted to change her last name.

"And if your Father found out about you…well I can't even imagine how he will react," I sighed. "I think Sirius lost his marbles a bit when I turned down his marriage proposal—"

"Why did you?" Carrigan interrupted. I frowned slightly and looked at her. She was looking at me with dark desperate eyes now. "I know that now it doesn't matter, because he turned out to be a Death Eater anyways…but why didn't you? You didn't know then what he was…"

I sighed and looked at the carpet of my bedroom. "I was afraid of being married when my Father was in power. I was afraid that if Sirius and I got married we would then start a family…Carrigan at the time I could barely take care of myself…let alone a baby. I was scared that my life would spin out of control if I married your Father that young. I loved him…I wanted to marry him…I just didn't want to then…" My voice trailed off and Carrigan took my hand squeezing it.

"Do you still love him?" she whispered.

I looked at her and forced a smile. "I wish I didn't…it wouldn't hurt so much."

"So, that's really why you and Gabriel aren't together?" she questioned. "You still love my Father…"

"Gabriel and I have always had a complicated relationship."

"He told me last night," Carrigan nodded. "Well, I kept asking him why you two hadn't dated, and why you said it didn't work out."

I gave Carrigan a cross look and she returned my glare with a guilty smile and shrug. "I couldn't help it Mom. It just doesn't make sense to me how you two can appear to love each other so much and yet you're not together."

"I know," I whispered. "It's because it's complicated."

"Is it though?" Carrigan asked looking at me with confused eyes. "How complicated can it be to love someone?"

"It's not complicated to love someone," I responded. "It's complicated when you love two someones…and I love your Father and Gabriel."

"But obviously you can't be with Dad," Carrigan said still confused. "Why not be with Gabriel?"

I frowned and bit my bottom lip. I didn't know how to explain it to her because I didn't really know how to explain it to myself. I justified my actions of not being with Gabriel by saying I didn't want to break my pride…but what was worth more to me, my pride or being loved for the rest of my life?

"Gabriel and I will love each other for the rest of our lives, even if we're both with other people," I whispered. "We're cursed with that twist of fate because we broke the first law of Guardianship. It's too complicated now for us to be together. Our relationship has seen and been through so much that now...well it'd be toxic."

Carrigan still looked confused and I frowned, tapping her thigh. "Don't worry about it, Carrigan. You'll give yourself a headache."

"Well, I just want you happy Mom," Carrigan said. "And Gabriel makes you happy."

I nodded my head. "Sometimes…sometimes he also makes me very angry."

Carrigan smiled. "I think that's his nature."

I blinked as we both settled into a silence. How had we gotten so off topic? I was supposed to be talking to Carrigan about changing her name.

"Anyways, Carrigan," I said quickly. "I got off topic…I wanted to talk to you about your safety at school, and well, in general."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Carrigan, I'm worried that you're in danger from your Father and possibly Grandfather because of your last name. I think if we change your last name it will be harder to find you, and hopefully you won't be in so much danger."

"But Grandpa is dead," she whispered.

I frowned and shook my head. "You know that I don't believe that."

It was her turn to frown. "Alright…but how will changing my name keep me safe?"

"Everyone knows that Coleman means daughter of the Dark Lord," I responded. "If any Death Eater gets wind of your name you will be in danger. You need to keep your identity as Sirius Black's daughter and Voldemort's granddaughter a secret. The best way to do that is to change your last name."

"But my last name," Carrigan shook her head as the conversation sunk in. "It's my name, Mom!"

"I know," I said quickly. "And I know you take great pride in our name…but this is about your safety, Carrigan."

She stared at me blankly. "I will only change it if I can change it to Quintin."

I was not expecting this response and stared at her dumbfounded. I shouldn't have been surprised. Of course she would want to take Gabriel's name; she viewed him as her Father figure.

"That wouldn't make you any safer," I whispered. "Not to Sirius when he finds out that you're my daughter with Quintin as your last name, and not to my Father. Voldemort would be just as happy to kill Gabriel's children as he would be to kill Gabriel."

"Why would Dad care if I had Gabriel's last name?" Carrigan asked. She was not going to let the topic of Gabriel and I go.

"Your Father thought that I had cheated on him with Gabriel," I whispered sadly. "He did not understand the Guardian-Student relationship Gabriel and I had, and how it affected our lives."

"But you did love Gabriel, Mom," Carrigan said looking a little confused. I sighed and rubbed my head.

"I know," I responded. "But I loved your Father more."

"Why?" Carrigan said with some frustration. "He sounds like an ass…I mean, okay sure, I get that you used to love him…but how can you still love him? He killed lots of people, he betrayed your best friends—he betrayed you!"

I sighed and looked at her with tired eyes. "It's very complicated, Carrigan. The only answer I can give you is that I don't know. The only reason I can think of is because he gave me you and that is something I will always be thankful for."

Carrigan nodded and wrapped her arms around my center, squeezing me gently because of my ribs. I wrapped my arm around her back and rubbed it softly.

"How did we get off the topic of changing your name again?" I asked.

Carrigan laughed as she pulled away. "I don't know. But I really don't want to, Mom. Would it be so bad to be Carrigan Quintin?"

"It would defeat the purpose," I whispered shaking my head. "Like I said, your Father would probably kill me because he jumps to conclusions like that. And it won't protect you from Voldemort at all."

"Well then I'm not changing my name," Carrigan shrugged standing up off the bed. "I'll just have to deal with the risk and possible harassment. I can take it Mom."

"A few minutes ago you were worried about your peers learning about who you were," I said carefully. I wanted to make sure that she was thinking the entire situation through.

"I'm worried they won't like me because of my powers," Carrigan corrected. "I'm worried they'll think I'm a freak."

"Your powers are part of who you are. They will think you have powers like me because you're my daughter, because of your name."

Carrigan frowned and nodded her head. "Alright, that's a valid point. But I don't want to run form who I am, Mom. I feel like that's what you're asking me to do."

"Alright," I said. "I won't make you do it. Just promise that you've thought it through entirely. I just want to make sure that you're safe, Carrigan."

She sighed and put her hands on her hips, giving me a smart look. "Now you're trying to guilt me into it."

"No," I said standing up. "Seriously, I want you to make this decision because it's your name. It's an important decision and I want you to think it through thoroughly."

"Fine," she nodded. "I'll think about it more, but I'm sure I won't change my mind."

"That's fine," I said smiling. "You wouldn't be my daughter if you weren't stubborn."

Carrigan laughed and came to me, embracing me tightly. I held her close and brushed her hair as I kissed her head. "We're strong girls, Mom," she said to me.

"The strongest," I said still holding her.