The work day at the Ministry was boring. I signed paper work, turned in paper work, and filed paper work. If I had known that so much paper work would be involved in my job as an Auror I probably wouldn't have been one. For a few moments that day I craved for the good old days to be back—for darkness to be creeping around every corner, the adrenaline from the hunt and the excitement of catching bad guys. Was I wrong to wish for that hell of a life to be back? Was I twisted to want evil to return to the world in such a chaotic manner? I could live without the fear though…I didn't want that back…but I suppose if I got the excitement of hunting evil it came with the fear of losing to evil. I couldn't have one without the other.

Most of the day was spent day dreaming and recalling my past adventures, mostly with Gabriel. I realized very quickly that even if I had loved Sirius with all of my heart it wouldn't have been enough for either of us. I shared such a strong bond with Gabriel, a mystical and legendary bond, that it destroyed my relationship with Sirius. No matter how much we loved each other, Sirius would always question my relationship with Gabriel (which he had right to), and I would always be with Gabriel because of our bond. It broke my heart to think that Sirius and I wouldn't have survived till now—obviously because we hadn't survived the war against my Father. If it weren't for the war we might have survived because then Sirius wouldn't have been a follower of my Father.

I frowned deeply and rubbed my head. That was still something that bothered me. I didn't understand how Sirius Black had become a follower of Voldemort. His family had been pure blood maniacs forever, and he wasn't, that's why he left his home when he was still in school and was disowned by his family. And how could a man that I loved so deeply been for Voldemort—my own flesh and blood that I despised? How could I have been foolish enough not to see it? Was I so in love with Sirius that I didn't see him slipping away to Voldemort? Or was I so in love with Gabriel that I didn't see Sirius slipping? Had I driven Sirius to my Father…much like Sirius had driven me to Gabriel so many times?

I couldn't blame myself. Sirius was a grown man. He made his own decisions. And he decided to betray everything we knew and loved. He made the choice to turn to my Father, to betray me, to give up James and Lily Potter. That was all on him and I couldn't take it on my shoulders. I couldn't blame myself. And yet…I did. I felt like I was responsible for all of it. I had pushed Sirius to be the secret keeper when he didn't want to be; and I was the one who made Sirius doubt me; I was sure that I was the reason he turned his back on us—on the Order and the fight for good. I was the reason he ran to Voldemort. It was my fault. The thoughts that were racing inside my head were buried in ambivalence. I was torn between blaming myself and blaming Sirius. I felt responsible but I was upset that I felt such away—because I knew I shouldn't.

And yet I couldn't help thinking, what if…what if so many things….what if Sirius hadn't betrayed the Potters or me; what if there hadn't been a war; what if Carrigan hadn't been born—well some the answers I knew. If there hadn't been a war I probably never would have come to England in the first place; I never would have met Sirius or Gabriel, I never would have had Carrigan. If Sirius hadn't betrayed the Potters they'd still be alive, Harry would have his parents, and Voldemort would still be alive. I don't know if Sirius and I would still be together though…our problems sunk deeper then him betraying me.

These thoughts filled my head all day until I got home. I was so caught up in memories and pondering that I almost forgot to feed Hector his dinner. When I went into the kitchen, to his crate, I was surprised to find it empty. I thought Carrigan had said she locked him in it before we left for the train station that morning.

"Hector!" I called through the house. I grabbed a bag of his soft chew dragon meet food and shook it as I walked through the house looking for him. He could have been anywhere. He was small enough to fit under beds or in cabinets and had strong enough wings to hide on the top of shelves or light fixtures. "Hector, you want dinner? Hector!"

After searching the entire house I returned to the kitchen and realized that most of his food and snacks were gone. My heart sunk into my stomach and I cursed wildly. When I had asked Carrigan where Hector was that morning she had said in his crate, then bit her lip and looked away from me. That nasty child of mine bit her lip when she lied to me. I should have known better.

I dropped the bag of food on the kitchen counter and went to the front of the house, pulling my traveling cloak back on. I shoved my wand into the side of my boot and left the house without a second thought. Carrigan had stowed Hector away in her trunk so she could take him to school with her. She hadn't even started term yet and she was already causing trouble.

The trip to Hogwarts was easy. I Apparated from my porch steps to the gates of Hogwarts. The castle stood tall in the moon light, creating a forbidding feeling as mist spread across the grass. I pushed past the gates and began to march up the gravel path to the castle. A chill had settled across the grounds which made me shiver and pull my cloak closer to me. Before I could even ponder why it was so cold—like a February night—on the first of September, Dementors came swooping down onto the grounds from all directions. All happiness left my body as they spiraled around, growing closer and closer to me. Each of my breaths rolled from my mouth in winding curls of white moisture as I collapsed to my knees on the gravel. I had experienced the vicious emotional drain of Dementors before—for about three months I was locked in Azkaban under suspicion of being a Death Eater. But at the time I was locked in a cell with Gabriel who kept my morale up.

As the Dementors grew closer and closer, their thin wispy cloaks billowing in the light wind, my mind was overcome with pain and fear. Memories of my Mother's death flashed in my mind—the green flash, her falling down the stairs, the Death Eater I killed shortly after that—then flashes of Lily and James' bodies lying in their destroyed house—and then Gabriel being tortured. The emotions of all these memories over whelmed me and I grabbed my head, crying out in fear. I screamed so loud the gravel under me began to shake with my fear and emotional over-load.

The Dementors did not appear to be threatened by physical powers. As my emotions began to run wild the small stones of gravel began to rise off the path around me. I was in a circle of Dementors, who were all growing closer and closer ready to kiss me—suck the soul right out of my body—the only thing that separated me from them was the floating pellets of stone around me that looked like a miniature asteroid belt.

My head slumped over my chest as the gravel continued to rotate around my body. From a distance I'm sure I looked like I was having some sort of magical episode. I appeared to be unconscious, my body not moving as if I were concentrating incredibly hard on the rotating rocks. The gravel began to fly in all directions as the Dementors grew closer and knocked against it. The ghostly figures sent the rocks flying in different directions, changing their energy and path of motion. I tried to lift my head, to get a hold of myself and stop my emotions from controlling me, but I couldn't. I felt so weak, so full of agony—Gabriel's cries filled my air as memories of him being tortured by my Father filled my head—I tried so hard to focus, to stop the screams—I grabbed my head and screamed. The pellets of gravel sailed away from me, into the Dementors who seemed unaffected by them; after all it was just gravel. They continued to advance on me, until one leaned forward, outstretching its skeleton-like hand and grasping my neck. I opened my eyes in horror as its lipless, faceless head leaned down to me—

"Expecto patronum!"

There was a blinding flash of white light and the Dementor released me. I fell to the ground collapsing and gasping for breath as the pellets of gravel began to fall also. The Dementors sailed away, flying away from the glowing white orb of light that appeared to hover over me.

"Cadence?" called a voice.

I lifted my head slowly as my body shook from the cold that seemed to be disappearing from around me. A figure appeared from the mist that had formed around me.

"Remus?" I questioned with a confused expression.

"Are you alright?" he asked helping me up.

"Yea, I'm fine," I sighed shoving my hair out of my face.

"What are you doing here?" He squeezed my arms and looked me up and down. "Carrigan's only been gone half a day, you're checking on her already?"

"I shouldn't have let her leave to being with," I snapped as Remus' tired eyes smiled at my over-reacting motherly behavior. "She snuck her griffin cub out of the house to bring him here to school with her."

"She has a pet griffin?" Remus asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yes," I sighed. "Gabriel got him for her. Is the feast over?"

"Yes," Remus nodded. "Professor Dumbledore just sent the students to bed."

"Peachy," I said walking away. Remus turned and followed me up the gravel path towards the castle. "How was your journey here?"

"Well the Dementors stopped the train and inspected it, looking for Black," he said softly.

"What?" I questioned looking at him in disbelief.

"Everyone is fine," Remus said to comfort me. "Harry passed out; I think he heard Lily screaming."

"I hear my Mother dying, and Gabriel being tortured," I responded in understanding. "He's alright too?"

"Yea, just shaken up and a bit embarrassed," Remus said as we entered the castle. Remus and I made our way up to the headmaster's office on the seventh floor. It was good to talk to someone from my past, other then Gabriel. Remus had been such a good friend, I was mad at myself for not staying in contact with him. But when I moved to Maine I left my old life behind me completely. I didn't want to be haunted by my past—by Lily and James deaths, by Sirius' betrayal, by my Father. I realized as we walked to Dumbledore's office that I was a bad friend.

"Don't you think someone would have noticed a griffin in their dormitory?" questioned Remus as we stepped onto the rotating staircase. The statues had jumped out of the way as if Dumbledore were expecting us.

"I was supposed to meet with Dumbledore tonight," Remus said once the statues had moved. I nodded my head at him as we reached the top of the stairs; I knocked on the door and patiently waited for Dumbledore to allow us entry to his office.

"Come in," he said loudly. I opened the door and walked into the room. Dumbledore seemed surprised to see me. "Hello Miss Coleman, I was not expecting you."

"I'm sorry Headmaster," I said softly as Remus came into the room and closed the door. "I need to speak to my daughter."

"Is everything alright?" Dumbledore asked concerned.

"Yes," I nodded with a sarcastic smile. "Except that she brought her pet griffin with her to school when I told her not to."

"A griffin?" Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at me as he peered over his half moon shaped glasses.

"Yes," I sighed. "It's what she wanted."

"Professor Lupin, could you retrieve Carrigan Coleman for us?" Dumbledore asked. "And ask her to bring her griffin."

"Of course, Headmaster," said Remus moving back to the door of office and leaving. I looked to Dumbledore who took a seat behind his desk.

"It's the first day of term and she's causing trouble already," he smiled at me. "I had better keep a good eye on her."

"You have no idea," I sighed with a smirk as I rubbed my face. "She's probably worse trouble then Harry."

Dumbledore laughed softly. "Harry may be a great deal of trouble but he's a brilliant wizard and the trouble he causes is usually justified. Like somebody else I know."

I smiled slightly and nodded my head because Dumbledore was referring to me. I sat down in a comfortable chair and waited for my daughter to arrive toting her griffin cub.

"Is that all that worries you tonight Cadence?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, of course not," I said softly.

Dumbledore gave me a very serious, but open, blue eyed stare. He was asking me with his eyes what else was bothering me. I frowned and moved to the edge of my chair.

"You should probably check on those Dementors," I whispered. "They attacked me as I came in."

"There is tighter security on the grounds this year," Dumbledore said. "But they attacked you?"

"If it weren't for Remus they would have succeeded in kissing me."

Dumbledore frowned deeply. "I'm very sorry Cadence. I'm not very keen on having them here, but the Minister insisted despite what happened on the train today."

"Why? He honestly thinks that Black is going to come to Hogwarts?" I questioned.

"He thinks that Black is after Harry," Dumbledore shrugged.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I think Black is looking for something," he whispered after a moment of silence. "I'm not sure what he is looking for. Perhaps Harry, but I don't know why he'd be interested in murdering Harry now."

"Do you really believe that he became a follower of Voldemort?"

Dumbledore seemed puzzled by the question. "You seem to think otherwise?"

"I just keep going over it in my head," I sighed. "It doesn't make sense for him to switch sides."

"Things like this don't often make sense."

"But Headmaster," I said quickly. "I knew him. I loved him—"

"He fooled all of us," Dumbledore interrupted me. "Cadence, you can't blame yourself for his actions."

I frowned and sat back in my chair, not being happy with his response. I don't know what I wanted him to say—did I want him to tell me I was responsible? Would that make me feel better? Yea, I thought it would, because then I'd stop worrying about it.

Dumbledore gave me an all-knowing frown, which made me frown. As he looked at me with those blue eyes I knew he had used Legilimency on me and knew what I was thinking. Thankfully, the office door opened before Dumbledore could say anything and Remus came in leading Carrigan who was carrying an excited looking Hector. She was holding onto him tight as he struggled to get out of her arms to explore the new room he had just been carried into.

I hadn't seen my daughter all day, but it felt like weeks. I looked at her, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Oh, hi Mom," Carrigan said. "Professor Lupin wouldn't tell me why I had to come up here. Is everything okay? "

"Oh yea, everything's fine. I came home from work and found that Hector was missing. How long did you think you were going to go before someone noticed your two hundred pound griffin in your dormitory?"

"He's not two hundred pounds," Carrigan responded. I gave her a dark look and she immediately frowned, looking down at the ground. She knew very well that she was in trouble for her actions and her lip.

"Carrigan! You stashed a griffin in your trunk to sneak him to school where he is not allowed!" I burst.

"Mom," Carrigan said quickly. "You don't even like him."

I could only stare at her. It was not like Carrigan to have an unreasonable argument. I was expecting her to justify her actions with reasonable logic. While I may not like Hector, that was not a logical reason to bring him to school. Not for Carrigan. "Carrigan, you can't bring Hector with you to school. He doesn't belong here."

"Can't I keep him here?" Carrigan said quickly. "Can't Hagrid take care of him, maybe?"

"Don't you think Hagrid has a bit on his plate this year," I said quickly. I looked at Dumbledore. "Isn't Hagrid teaching this year?"

Dumbledore nodded his head. "Perhaps Hagrid can watch Hector also."

I looked at Dumbledore like he was crazy. "Miss Coleman, if I may," Dumbledore said. "I don't think a griffin should be kept at home; you're working so much that the creature would be alone locked up in his crate. He needs exercise, especially if he is going to grow to five hundred or more pounds."

I turned to face Carrigan with some frustration. "Your actions were still wrong. If the headmaster says he can stay here then fine. But you were out of line Carrigan. You went against the rules of the school and you disobeyed me."

"I realize what I did was wrong," she muttered.

"Can you tell me why?"

Carrigan looked down at the squirming griffin in her arms and sighed, then looked back at me with dark blue eyes. "Because you told me not to bring Hector here because he's not allowed at school. He's a special kind of pet and only cats, owls and small pets like toads or rats are allowed."

"Alright," I said with a nod of my head.

"Headmaster, can Hector stay with me tonight?" Carrigan questioned. "I don't want to just send him down to Hagrid's now…he won't understand what's going on."

Dumbledore gave Carrigan a small smile. "Yes Miss Coleman, that is fine. But after tonight he is not allowed back in the castle. He will remain on the grounds at Hagrid's where you can see him everyday."

She nodded her head. "Thank you Headmaster."

"Thank you," I said bowing my head to Dumbledore. "I'll walk Carrigan back to her common room."

"Good evening to you both," Dumbledore said standing up. "If you will excuse us, Professor Lupin and I need to have words."

"Of course," I said taking Carrigan's shoulders. "Good night."

"Good night Professor Lupin," Carrigan said smiling at him. "Headmaster."

We both exited the office in silence. Carrigan glanced up at me as we rode the rotating staircase down to the corridor. I noticed her look and raised my eyebrows at her.

"Yes?" I whispered.

"You're still mad," she sighed as Hector cawed loudly. She clapped her hand on his beak and he shook his head pulling away from her hand.

"Of course I'm mad, Carrigan," I sighed. "You did something wrong and you're not being punished for it, rather you're getting what you want by having Hector here on the grounds."

"It makes it easier on you, don't you think? Now you don't have to take care of him," she responded as he walked down the quiet corridor. "So we're all getting what we want."

I gave her a very sharp look with my green eyes, causing her to look away from me. "This isn't about what I want, Carrigan. Gabriel got that griffin for you because he loves you, and because he expected you to follow the rules that were laid out for its care—"

"Are you going to tell me now that not only did I disobey you, I indirectly disobeyed Gabriel—a man who has no authority over me—"

I grabbed Carrigan's arm and pulled her to stop in the hallway. I put my hands on my hips and stared at her with a menacing stare of confusion. What had gotten into her?

"What is going on?" I asked. "What is this really about?"

Carrigan rolled her eyes. "This is about how I brought Hector with me to school, disobeying you and apparently disrespecting Gabriel. What else is there?"

"What house are you in?" I asked as we approached the moving staircases.

"Gryffindor," she responded.

"Good, at least something has gone right today," I said stepping on the staircase that would take us to the corridor where the picture of the Fat Lady hung. I heard Carrigan sigh with annoyance, but didn't respond to it. She was standing next to me, looking at Hector in her arms, petting him and rubbing his head gently. "What happened on the train today?" I whispered.

"Dementors came," she shrugged. "Searched the train."

I could tell she was holding back. "Do you not want to tell me because you're mad at me, or do you feel like you can't tell me because I'm mad at you?"

"I just don't want to talk about it at all," Carrigan whispered as she looked at me.

I frowned and bit my bottom lip, curious as to why she didn't want to talk about it. But I didn't want to push her either. When we arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady she looked at me with curious eyes as if she knew me from her past at some point. I smiled slightly and turned to Carrigan.

"I'm mad at you now," I said holding her shoulders. "But I'll get over it. I still love you."

"I know, Mom," Carrigan said with a half smile. "I'm mad too, but I still love you."

"Well that's good," I beamed. I pulled her into my arms and we embraced for a short moment because Hector was squished and squirming between us. I looked at Carrigan with serious eyes. "If you need anything you know where to find me."

"I know," she sighed with some annoyance. I smiled slightly. She was a big girl, I reminded myself, she could take very good care of herself.

"And I'm sure Remus would be willing to help you with anything if you ask him."

"Thanks," she nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Mom, I didn't mean that stuff I said about Gabriel. I know he loves me and he's the closest thing to a Dad I have."

"I know, Carrigan," I smiled and nodded. "I won't tell him you defy his authority."

She smiled. "He wouldn't be surprised if you did tell him."

I laughed lightly. "Yes, you're right. Now go to bed." I kissed her forehead gently. "I will talk to you later. Please, behave."

"Yes, of course, Mom," she said with a beaming smile. "I love you."

My heart lifted when she said that to me. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"Good night," she smiled and waved as she looked up at the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Pickled Frogs."

I smiled as I walked away from the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, feeling more relaxed despite Carrigan's misbehavior. As I made my way out of the school I felt the familiar shiver of Dementors present. I pulled my traveling cloak tightly around me and continued to march down the gravel path as I clutched my wand carefully in my hand. I wasn't going to let the slimy ghost-like bastards get the best of me again. I didn't know if it was really a good idea to have the Dementors at Hogwarts; they were followers of my Father—couldn't be trust at all. The power Minister Fudge thought he had over the Dementors was an allusion. Their entire essence was evil. I didn't get how anyone could trust them. I didn't understand politics, especially Minister Fudge's; and I did not like the decision to have the Dementors on the castle grounds.