Disclaimer- KHR isnt mine. Nor do I profit from this
Warning- This story is unbeta'd I really need one people.
Bad influence chapter 3: Stupid Cupid , quit picking on me !
Sometimes I believe myself to be a magnet. I believe this because I seemed to attract things made of a certain material. Like magnets attract charged items, I seem to attract insanity. If I could summarize this household in one word the correct one is in fact INSANITY . If I had to describe it in two words It would be SITCOM. The type of stuff that goes on in this house is only found in sitcoms , fan fiction and romance comedies. It's been a week since I've gotten here and I feel as if my I.Q. has dropped a smidgen, My I.Q. before: 176 After: 155. That's still high though... oh well I digress. This pass week has been hectic, Boss saw my bra and panties so I try and cover myself but realize that, that does absolutely nothing , so I tried to run into the bed they had me laid on but of course I forget that I'm barely strong enough to hold my self up and a fall on my face with my ass in the air. So I spent time mostly in the infirmary , where I got to know my quote unquote "Roomates" Squalo and Bel. I feel like ni this time I've learned so much about what makes an assassination squad an assassination squad.
Here are the ingredients
1) Crazy people
2) Ruthless people
3) Crazier people
4) Kiss ups
And then add a dash of insanity and you have, the most dangerous assassination squad in the world
Who would have thought making one of these were was just as easy as making the power puff girls.
It was this week when I realized that Bel, the annoyance, was actually a prince , he didn't get that crown from Party City like I thought, not that it changes how much I see him as a child , but it was a nice fact to know that Bel was really a royal , a royal pain in the a-and to the next topic. Since I had been in a room with Squalo, I had to ask about his hair. apparently he uses Herbal Essence . I remember cracking up because he couldn't tell by the fruity smell and pretty bottle it was a woman's shampoo. I made sure to introduce him to Head and Shoulders. I'm supposed to be washing his hair later on today. Okay Okay... you're probably wondering , " Uhm Pho-chan, how exactly did you and Squalo become buddy buddy friend friend?" Let me find a breif way to tell you the story.
So there I was in the infirmary...
- Earlier that week-
Pho-chan had buried herself beneath the covers of her hospital bed as she reflected on all that had just happened . For the second time that day She had been half naked in front of the man she found herself physically attracted to Need I reiterate that it is only a physical attraction , I only think he's hot, other than that I think he's a jerkface . She hid her shame under the covers.. She didn't think that living with the opposite sex would be so hard. It wasn't this hard while she lived with the men in the V.U.A. she thought about it though. Most of the men were either married or creepers and the creepers learned their lesson by her hand. Anyway she laid down under the blanket wishing she had the childlike ignorance to believe she was invisible because she was covered, but she knew good and well that wasn't the case. She had no choice but to face the outside as she peeked her head from out of the covers.
"VOII, who the hell put me in the same room with Bel!" Scarlett heard from just beside her. Her head snapped to the direction she heard the loud rambunctious shark. There was a curtain separating her from the other two. How hadn't she noticed this before , was beyond her.
"Ushishi , quiet idiot strategy captain our room has another tenant beyond the curtain" With that Squalo growled angrily and slid back the curtain. Scarlett's eyes widen and she let out a dainty scream.
"What the !" Both Squalo and Scarlett scream in unison.
"What are you doing in here ?" Squalo asks through narrowed eyes and clenched teeth.
" I got injured, why else , you stupid shark?" Scarlett noticed that The shark's hair had a red tint to it. It must have been from the earlier battle with Bel. She at that moment had an amplified desire to get hold of the man's hair and wash it . To take care of Squalo's hair was like a dream to her , even though she wasn't too fond of him.
"That's not what I meant, you're in the same infirmary as Bel and I shouldn't you be separated from us since you're a girl ?"
"We were separated by that curtain!" She reminded him. The Shark looked dumb founded as she bought that to his attention. She knew would be stuck in here for a while because after all she dd have a rather large pillar fall on her. What seemed strange though was the fact. She had no broken limbs from what she knew. Her chest just felt a little sore. Glancing over at Squalo she couldnt help but have her attention fixated on his hair. The girl loved to style and take care of hair. She was always in charge of her team's hair when she worked for the V. U. A. none of those troops had such a health head of long locks. The silver colour only served to make her more fascinated with it. It broke her heart to see it tinted red, his natural colour was way more interesting as well as beautiful beautiful .
"VOI, quit gawking at me !" The noisy shark growled.
" The prince s trying to watch day time trash tv!*" Bel complained as he turned up the television volume. Pho-chan could vaguely hear the results of a DNA test as she replied to Squalo.
"You may be loud and boisterous , but Squalo you have a really nice head of hair, you cant get irritated with me admiring it " She says in somewhat of an awe. The silver headed man looked at her through surprised steel coloured eyes. A slight pink blush veiled his face.
"You've been staring at my hair?" His cocked eyebrows reflected his confused state of mind at the moment.
"I know it sounds weird coming from me , someone you just met, but I do really admire your hair , I have a weakness for hair and since I got here I've been wondering what you do to t to make it look so soft and shiny" She says with a smile. Squalo pressed his eyebrows together. He couldn't believe he was having this type of a conversation with someone outside of Lussuria. He didn't know his hair was that fascinating , he just thought Lussuria was being homo when he would marvel at his hair.
" I just wash it everyday " Says Squalo thinking there was nothing special about what he did. Scarlett would be lying if she said she hadnt been expecting a more extravagant answer. Like washing his hair twice a day using natural fruits and berries and what not. Now that she knew what he did she needed to know how he did it . What did he use to make his hair look that way?
"What shampoo do you use ?" She asks curiously
"Herbal Essecnse, why?" At that moment it seemed like every fiber of the girl's being froze. She was shocked to say the least. Did he just say what I think he just said...She thought in disbelief. "Squalo... you use... women's shampoo?" She says with a hint of amusement.
"WHAT? of course not, I just use this shampoo that Lussuria … buys... for... me..." He trailed of as realization hit him like high tide. " Yes I use women's shampoo" he grumbled out as anger boiled his blood. " And I'm gonna kill Lussuria for it " He growled. This made Pho-chan giggle
" SHHH! the prince wants to know if this guy is the father" Says the rather feminine looking prince as the television host announced the man to be the father of a baby he denied on national tv. "I knew it !" says the boy getting into the trashy show. The cloud replacement rolls her eyes and the grins a little at Squalo. " I normally would tease you but.. the look on your face tells me you've been through enough, I recommend head and shoulders for you Squalo, it's salon quality shampoo at grocery store price" She says with a smile. " If you like … maybe I could get some for you and I can wash your hair once" Squalo scoffed.
" Voi, like I'd let you , what makes you think I'll let you get close to my head?"
"The fact that your hair is still tinted red from your battle with Bel and it looks like you tried yourself to wash it out but you failed and now it almost looks pink" She says with a smirk. Squalo grumbled loudly.
"Touche."
"How many times does the prince need to say it , STFU or GTFO , this is the good part" The two narrowed their eyes at Belphegor.
"The party city prince is becoming a more and more of a royal pain in the ass each second I get to know him." This comment made Squalo laugh hysterically.
"Who's a party city prince?" says the now annoyed young royalty.
"Whom else your fakeness? you dont see niether me nor the shark with a plastic tiara on our heads calling ourselves royalty. " Says the girl irritably. The prince growled and then retreved three custom done knives. Lets just say that this little incident taught me two lessons , Though something looks fake or acts fake or just seems fake all together doesn't make it fake and then two , if you get injured and it doesnt hurt as bad as you thought; it will when you piss Bel off.
-And now here we are today-
Scarlett walked back to her own room. It had been a week since she had been in the basement , that was her room. It amazed her that there was a finally a day when she would admit that she missed the place. Since she was n the infirmary she had been deprived of her snake companion and it hurt her was hoping that once she opened her door , Amico would be on her bed and his little flat snake head would perk up when he saw her much like a puppy would. She could envision the black mamba hissing excitedly as she approached hm . She saw herself kissing him on the head as he flicked out his tongue to greet her. Her longing for her comrade only intensified as she got closer to her room. She headed down the steps to the base floor and walked to her door. It was closed so she knew that no one had tampered with her room. She twisted her nob to the right and found it not opening. She tried once more then remembered she had the funny door that opens when you turn the nob left. With that She turned the nob left and anticipated a contented hiss from Amico. When she opened the door she got a sight she hadnt expected. She heard a contented hiss from Amico alright but she hadnt expected hm to have company. Amico sat around the last person she expected to sees neck and he was sitting atop her bed. She found her body reaching an unforgiving heat. God I'm not sure if you love me or hate me , you've bestowed upon me both a blessing and a curse. Two red irises opened and glanced up at her intently. She pinched herself behind her back, hoping the good lord would have mercy on her and let this be a dream . Apparently the good lord had other plans. If she ever had the courage she would tell him that his eyes were so interesting to look at. Those blood red eyes were both frightening and and enticing. She would regard them to be one of his best features
"Scarlett Phobia "
The other would be his low raspy voice.
"Y-yes - She clears her throat because she didn't want to sound weak in front of the man "Yes sir"She says more confident.
"How are you feeling ?" Scarlett felt her heart pound in her chest at the question. What made boss so concerned all of the sudden? The girl wondered as her face turned shades. He cant be showing genuine concern for me … no … not boss who regards everyone to be trash.
"I'm feeling great sir" She answered professionally. As she tried her best not to look like she obviously fighting her inner feelings.
"Healthy ?" He asks cocking an eyebrow
"Yes according to Lussuria " She never breaks eye contact with the man even though she wanted so desperately to look away from such intense eyes. She approached the man believing she looked awkward standing in the doorway as such. He looked as if inspecting her. She felt as if she were being examined for something.
"Your face is red " He says bluntly .
H-he noticed ... dun dun dun !
"Are you feverish?" His eyes narrowed.
"No sir... It's just hot down here" Ugh.. that's total bull , it's never hot in my ice box of a room.
Her boss' eyes seemed to bore into her. The eyes were the gateway to the soul and damn it if Pho-chan wasn't afraid of bosses soul. He sighs audibly … for what reason she didn't know.
"It's good to know that you are doing fine" Scarlett's eyebrows were raised up to her hair line from the surprise of what her boss just said.He does care... no he cant care .. no this is a dream. she pinched herself repeatedly behind her back. She would not awaken ...Cupid you are so cruel .. stop it... just stop it .
"I was under the impression you didn't care for your men" This comment made her boss smirk. uh-oh … Look at that condescending smirk . It looks so familiar … almost like a long lost friend. The cloud replacement sighed having a good idea of what was going to happen.
"You think I'm concerned? No scum, I'm not nor am I sorry for using my full strength in our training last week.. I am merely checking to see if you're in the condition to go on a mission " His snide attitude and condescending attitude came back in full force. Stupid cupid ! I knew he wasn't concerned about me , why do I always get my hopes up . I'm not a sucker , No I am not but why .. why... do I always fall for this . Let me get it through my thick skull. Boss cant have feelings for me .. I just got here... He is too smug and pompous and is he even capable of displaying affection toward another human being? .. or anything for that matter?... What did he just say ?
"A mission?" She vaguely remembered the man saying something about a mission before they started their death matches training but she had lost sight of that while fighting for her life.
" A Sicilian crime family is allegedly plotting some sort of rebellion to remove the Vongola from power .We're in need of an undercover operation. First we have to see if the rumors are true and we they are , we kill them." Scarlett found herself being thrown back into her element
"Why didnt Nono just give the task to the V.U.A. or the CEDEF?" She asks as she raised an eyebrow.
"This is beyond their power, realise it was you that carried the V.U., the lost a lot of power since you were inducted into My Varia , so since their forces aren't enough to take on this task..And the CEDEF is busy working on other matters the task has been left to us" Boss has been using the words : We and Us an awful lot
"Boss who is meant by 'us'" asks the distraught replacement
"Who do you think scum?, you're the only one with experience in the area of undercover operations" He says with a smug smirk .
" Us … as in you and I , Scarlett Phobia"
Boss' voice plays on loop in my mind. I still have a hard time believing what he said . He and I are going on a mission . We're leaving for Sicily tonight so I have just enough to me to wash Squalo's hair and get ready. According to boss we're going under cover as a Don of a sprouting crime family and his Mistress Scarlett began to blush at the thought of playing such a part we'll gather information behind their plans and if any of them remotely have something to do with harming the Vongola , Boss and I are to eliminate them.
The replacement walked the halls upstairs trying to remember whose rooms were where. This house was a maze. She wondered why there were so many rooms to accommodate only seven tenants. She took a turn down a hallway that seemed familiar , but that really wasn't saying much considering all the halls were identical. She sighed as she plopped down on the floor growing frustrated. It was at the moment she was about to try and turn back when
"VOIIIIIIIIIIIII, DAMN SHITTY BOSS" Scarlett was never so thankful for Squalo's loud voice . She followed the trail of curses around a corner and down a couple of hallways. Apparently he was on a rant. She hoped to god that it wouldn't end other wise she may just end up lost in the house. She highly doubted boss would go looking for her. He may just leave without her shoot everyone then ask questions later , the mission would just end in an homicide. It ultimately will but they needed to investigate first and knowing boss, he wouldn't do that properly. Within minutes she found herself in front of Squalo's open door . She recalled from the first day she got there , a room , that was painted blue with training equipment … it was Squalo's alright. She saw the man only a couple of years her senior in front of a mirror freaking out. Dont tell me he just figured out he's graying .
"Squalo" She says quietly
"DAMN SHITTY BOSS , UGHHH IT WONT STOP !"
"Squalo..."
"IT'S SHEDDING!"
"Squalo... …"
"VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
-SQUALO" She interrupts as she held up the shampoo that she promised to use on his hair. That seemed to get his attention quite nicely.
"What's your issue?"She asks as she approached him and touched his hair. Instantly three strands of hair feel to the floor.
"Oh my you've got some follicle damage "She says in almost disbelief.
"That is my issue" The shark said in his inside voice for once . Scarlett shook her head as she was thoroughly disappointed.
"You're hair is unhealthy it only looks beautiful" Squalo narrows his eyes.
"My hair is plenty healthy it's damn boss and his shitty-ness" He says as he smooths a hand through his own hair.
"Does boss abuse you ?" Squalo sighs irritably and growls
"On the regular" He grumbled as he clenched his fists . Scarlett felt truly sorry for his hair. His hair ; not him. Her face showed her disappointment .
"Voi , don't give me that look , I'm no battered wife" The silver haired assistant looked as if he could catch fire
"Don't flatter yourself shark , my pity isn't for you , it's for your poor innocent hair"She says taking a brush from her hoist and slowly brushing his shark gave her a dead panned stare as if what she said just lowered his I.Q.. As the replacement proceeded to brush Amico slivered his way up to view. Of course Pho-chan really didn't notice , since he was always or at least mostly attached to her. Squalo just so happen to see him in the Mirror and then flip out.
"V-VOI , the hell ! get that thing out of my room" He says in slight panic. Scarlett really couldn't comprehend why Squalo and Bel were so afraid of Amico. Yes he was poisonous but if Scarlett had wanted them bitten they would have been bitten a while ago.
"Calm yourself Strategy captain" She says furrowing her brows
"I said get that scaled worm out of my room!" He says as he began to tremble. Amico hissed at Squalo's comment and bared his venomous fangs. Scarlett shushed the serpent and kissed his head to calm him down.
"You see this snake on my shoulder? He gets really hungry , very quickly and do you know what he feeds off of ?" She asks while crossing her arms "Your fear" The replacement smirked at the disbelieving expression the strategy captain now wore .
"I'm not afraid of anything !" He says through clenched teeth as his eyebrows upturned and his eyes narrowed
"Good , then you shouldnt ,mind if Amico is here while I take care of your hair " She says with an amused smirk .
Squalo was silent from that moment on. She took him to the kitchen and washed his hair at the sink.
"Bend over Squalo " she instructed much to the man's distaste.
"What the hell?" apparently he hasn't every washed his hair at a sink.
"Bend over Squalo " Repeated a much deeper raspier voice with a slightly amused tone. The two looked over seeing boss in the door pane.
"VOI WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT GET TE FUCK OUT" Scarlett turned away and blushed .
"Be done with him within the hour, we're leaving, Scum" Scarlett nodded "Yes sir" She turned to Squalo still ranting and going off about what seemed to be nothing now. Pho-chan sighed pushing he man's head into the sink ad cutting the water, shaking her head. "I told yo to bend over Squalo" He was quieted Finally. She wet his hair with the rinser and began to massage the manly smelling shampoo in his hair. Sh was gentle wit his follicles, gently she combed through his hair , so that see could only get off his dead hair. . She rinsed the shampoo and did the same process with the conditioner. She rinsed the conditioner and wrapped a towel around his head and sitting him and brushing his hair. She did the task of clipping is split ends despite his bitching about not cutting his hair until Xanxus was boss of the family. Your hair can only grow properly if you trim the split ends . She did not dry it though because his hair wasn't strong enough to handle that.
"Let your hair air dry Squalo , already your hair looks a lot cleaner and healthier "She cooed and ran her hair through it. "Silky and smooth " Squalo blushed a slight bit
"Thank you" He grumbled under his breath. Scarlett smiled and laughed jovially Squlo growled. "Voi Scarlett Phobia " Scarlett stopped laughing
"As strategy captain , I outrank you , YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF TAKING CARE OF HAIR , THAT'S ORDER" Scarlett shut one eye and cringed plugging her ear, hoping she wasn't going deaf. She sighed and then smirked. "Yes sir" she says as she turned on her heel "I need t g now Squalo , don't damage your hair wile I"m gone" She runs off in the distant hallway. Her high heels clicking with her.
Here I sit in my room , my bag packed and only a few minutes to reflect. . This will be my first mission as a Varia officer. As the guardian of Cloud under the command of Xanxus. I need to be strong on this mission and try and contain the impatient attitude of my boss. Also I dont need to embarrass myself in front of him. Also I need to keep my feelings under control . A-and I dot meanmy feelings toward boss , i mean my feelings of humanity ! Yeah that's it , just my feelings of humanity and nothing more... Okay I could probably stop blushing around the guy. I just need to remember I hate guys like him is all .
"Scarlett Phobia"
Pulled away from her thoughts she blushed as he door was swung open. She blushed So much for remembering I hate guys like him.
"Yes boss" She answered on alert.
" We are leaving out, before we leave for Sicily, we are making a stop at the V.U.A head quarters for our disguises" That made Scarlett go pale. She would be visiting her squad so soon ?
"Yes sir "
Oh no .. oh God help me this is going to be a horid experience .
"Let's move out " and with that two took their leave , next stop Palmero Italy, site of the Vongola Undercover Assination operations HQ.
[ A/N
Go ahead shoot me [ no seriously put the gun down OJ ] It's been about 5 or six monthes since I posted and I am really sorry about that , so many things caught me off guard and I was no finally able to finish , I hope you enjoyed it , I appreciate reviews because I would love to know my progress , again I am so sorry my readers and I hope you haven't forgotten me
Sincerely , TW]
Asterisks(*)
Bel was referring to Maury Povich